single ladies and gentlemen if you don't enjoy intimacy
Replies
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I don't know ANYONE who doesn't enjoy intimacy.
I have heard far too many scenarios around here where men only get sex from their spouse like once a month. If that.
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living together for a few years is a nice way to test the waters... but that can also be deceiving... we all know that the first few years of living together/being married are fun but not a true indication on what real life together is gonna be down the road..
Should marriage have an expiration date?
Like a 5 year or 10 year term, at which time the contract is re-evaluated and necessary changes made as the two parties see fit?
Dude, that's kind of a great idea.
Shol' is!0 -
I don't know ANYONE who doesn't enjoy intimacy.
I have heard far too many scenarios around here where men only get sex from their spouse like once a month. If that.
What the fukk is up with that?!?0 -
Buy her a copy of Fifty Shades.
Then show her how it's *really* done.
Post results in a few weeks. If you follow this advice, you should be busy for a while.
50 shades did wonders for me while my wife was reading it. I hope the author has many more books in her.
So the answer is to control every last detail of her life, tell her when and how and what to eat, yell at her for being in the same hemisphere as any other man who she is not related to, stalk her and beat her up even though she doesn't want you to and your sex life will be right back where you want it.
Good call!0 -
Buy her a copy of Fifty Shades.
Then show her how it's *really* done.
Post results in a few weeks. If you follow this advice, you should be busy for a while.
50 shades did wonders for me while my wife was reading it. I hope the author has many more books in her.
So the answer is to control every last detail of her life, tell her when and how and what to eat, yell at her for being in the same hemisphere as any other man who she is not related to, stalk her and beat her up even though she doesn't want you to and your sex life will be right back where you want it.
Good call!
I think this point was missed:
Then show her how it's *really* done.0 -
Buy her a copy of Fifty Shades.
Then show her how it's *really* done.
Post results in a few weeks. If you follow this advice, you should be busy for a while.
50 shades did wonders for me while my wife was reading it. I hope the author has many more books in her.
So the answer is to control every last detail of her life, tell her when and how and what to eat, yell at her for being in the same hemisphere as any other man who she is not related to, stalk her and beat her up even though she doesn't want you to and your sex life will be right back where you want it.
Good call!
Well so long as you're a gorgeous and brilliant billionaire women can find ways to overlook certain things...0 -
I don't know ANYONE who doesn't enjoy intimacy.
I have heard far too many scenarios around here where men only get sex from their spouse like once a month. If that.
What the fukk is up with that?!?
A) the are unhappy in their relationship in the first place, so desire to have sex is not there.
woman thinks sex is a way to manipulate a man.
C)hormonal issue
D)denial about quality of sex or sexual orientation0 -
I don't know ANYONE who doesn't enjoy intimacy.
I have heard far too many scenarios around here where men only get sex from their spouse like once a month. If that.
What the fukk is up with that?!?
Word. It's complete bulls*it. If you don't like your man enough to sleep with him.....let him go! Someone else will want to.0 -
Eh. People forget that marriages were originally designed to be legal contracts to facilitate the gaining of wealth and property.0
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Buy her a copy of Fifty Shades.
Then show her how it's *really* done.
Post results in a few weeks. If you follow this advice, you should be busy for a while.
50 shades did wonders for me while my wife was reading it. I hope the author has many more books in her.
So the answer is to control every last detail of her life, tell her when and how and what to eat, yell at her for being in the same hemisphere as any other man who she is not related to, stalk her and beat her up even though she doesn't want you to and your sex life will be right back where you want it.
Good call!
I think this point was missed:
Then show her how it's *really* done.
I was more responding to the response to your post. :-)
The sad thing is all the women out there who think that guy is a romantic hero. Ick.People forget that marriages were originally designed to be legal contracts to facilitate the gaining of wealth and property.
I'll get married to gain wealth! No sex required. ;-)0 -
Sex, making love to her, being intimate - it's more than sticking your peen in her.
Touch her hair when she least expects it. Hold her, just because.
Describe her hands. If you can't, then maybe it's you who's not paying enough attention. Get to know her again. Really get to know her.
Many times, the person complaining about the lack of intimacy is whining about not having sex, while completely ignoring the eleventy other types of intimacy that the other person is lacking.
This is starting to be all sort of serious sounding so I feel the need to include something completely irrelevant:
.......... *swoon*
How YOU doin?0 -
Sex, making love to her, being intimate - it's more than sticking your peen in her.
Touch her hair when she least expects it. Hold her, just because.
Describe her hands. If you can't, then maybe it's you who's not paying enough attention. Get to know her again. Really get to know her.
Many times, the person complaining about the lack of intimacy is whining about not having sex, while completely ignoring the eleventy other types of intimacy that the other person is lacking.
This is starting to be all sort of serious sounding so I feel the need to include something completely irrelevant:
.......... *swoon*
How YOU doin?
:flowerforyou:0 -
That's why I got divorced I got tired of faking it for my ex husband.0
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you need to have your other ladies on standby pahtnah!! there's always hanjelina jolie, haand hathaway, scarlet johaandson, and palmela haanderson.....don't forget to log your exercise and eat those calories back :drinker: \m/
LOL :laugh:0 -
living together for a few years is a nice way to test the waters... but that can also be deceiving... we all know that the first few years of living together/being married are fun but not a true indication on what real life together is gonna be down the road..
Should marriage have an expiration date?
Why don't you talk to your wife or try to switch stuff up in the bedroom instead of posting about it here? There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life, honestly I lost interest of always doing the same old thing with my ex fiance who I was with for 6 years but he started switching things up, frankly got better in bed & actually started taking thing slower and such, building up to sex and we started talking more about what we wanted and fantasies and such and that fixed things pretty quickly. We also lived together at the time so half the time it felt like we were married. A lot of women don't enjoy just straight up sex which means you as the guy actually have to take the time to build things up and do a little work, I'm not saying you're not trying to do that I'm just saying if you're not that's a great place to start...also just ask her about fantasies and such she's had or even just try and engage her in one of your own.0 -
I don't think it's me.... but you can't tell me I don't like it anymore and leave me hanging like that....
Maybe she doesn't like YOU anymore. I'm sure she's getting it elsewhere.0 -
And married people, if you aren't getting any from your wife and wondering- in theory, if marriage should have an expiration date, please don't post it on MFP. It does nothing to help your marriage.0
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And married people, if you aren't getting any from your wife and wondering- in theory, if marriage should have an expiration date, please don't post it on MFP. It does nothing to help your marriage.
Well said!!!!0 -
I don't think it's me.... but you can't tell me I don't like it anymore and leave me hanging like that....
Maybe she doesn't like YOU anymore. I'm sure she's getting it elsewhere.
Just because she might not want it from him doesn't mean she's getting it somewhere else. Some people actually don't believe in cheating regardless of how rocky things are in their relationship.
OP, you might want to see if you can get into marriage counseling with your wife. You don't say how long you have been married. You also don't indicate whether you still love her or if the only real issue is the sex issue. My husband and I went through a rocky period this past summer after being together for almost 22 years. With marriage counseling, we were able to turn our marriage back around and learned how to communicate effectively. That helped build the intimacy that we were missing. Now we are back to being like newlyweds and can't wait to see each other every time we are away from each other. But we both decided that we wanted it to work and were willing to put the effort into it.0 -
Okay, here is a fact of life. Intimacy goes down as you get older. At least for men. We get tired of the romancing and just want to get it done. Once you get the house, kids and what not, too tired for the rest. I may be the only one like this, my wife complains that I do not pay enough attention to her etc. I work, take care of kids, I am tired.
you take care of the kids! wow lucky lady!0 -
I enjoy intimacy
Im just no longer sure about marriage :devil:0 -
agreed!!!!0
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I can name a few people who don't. Many females get this idea that they withhold intimacy from their men as a weapon because they don't get what they want or they feel they have been dissed for one reason or another. It is a real shame that they have to feel they are a "victim" and therefore make life rough for all involved. What ever happened to everyone taking responsibility for their own actions.0
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How the hell can you not just talk openly with your partners...
Life would be so much more easier without people playing the guessing game.0 -
I can name a few people who don't. Many females get this idea that they withhold intimacy from their men as a weapon because they don't get what they want or they feel they have been dissed for one reason or another. It is a real shame that they have to feel they are a "victim" and therefore make life rough for all involved. What ever happened to everyone taking responsibility for their own actions.
We don't "withhold" sex. We just don't fancy having sex with someone who just been a arsehole to us.0 -
Marriage: Betting someone half your stuff that you'll love them forever.
I'll take my chances at blackjack!0 -
First of all, I enjoy sex. But, I do find myself less interested these days. I don't know why. Im just indifferent to it. I wasn't always that way.
But, when people say intimacy, I don't think of sex, which I think most people immediately think of. I think of closeness, touching, and having that real passionate close feeling with another person. It can often turn to sex, and probably usually does, but being intimate is not having sex, in my definition. it's more of that super closeness you feel with someone.
I do not think I am any longer capable of having intimacy with someone. I just don't think it's possible for me. So, yes, as the OP suggested, there is no marriage in my future. I don't see the point. Even if I met the "one", I still would not get married. Sometimes, I think people get married to have "someone" so they won't be lonely. It doesn't matter too much who it is. Later in life, they realize that they can't stand that person anymore. Lol. It seems like people are meant to be together a little less permanently than society really promotes. I'd say 7 to 10 years seems like a typical lifespan of a happy marriage. After that point, it takes on a different life of its own.0 -
@Illona88 nope.... once upon a time there was fire lighting the house... that was so long ago that I don't even remember how long....
What are you doing to try to light the fire? Do you help out around the house? cook? clean? offer a massage with a glass of wine? Or do you expect her to do all of the above and then service you once she's done?
OMG! The perfect man! You understand and I didn't have to beat you for you to get it! MARRY ME!!
Why don't all men understand this? 0 -
This thread makes me incredibly sad for a lot of the people posting. Some seem so superficial that sex is all that matters. Others never knowing the true joy of a loving relationship, true intimacy both physical and emotional. I think the better advice would be to never settle for anything that doesn't make you happy. If you're unhappy in your current relationship exhaust every avenue to make changes so you can be. If in the end it still doesn't work out to your liking, take solice in knowing you tried your hardest, get out, and go find what makes you happy.
I would suggest to the OP and others who feel similar to read the book The Five Love Languages. It talks about how some people feel most loved and appreciated by Physical Touch, while others feel most loved in other avenues like Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, or Acts of Service.0 -
anyone who doesn't enjoy intimacy isn't doing it right and doesn't know what they're missing
I beg to differ...most women I've talked to who are tired of having sex with their hubbies suffer from having a PARTNER who doesn't know (or care) what they're doing. So they're not missing much. IN fact, by skipping the whole sex thing entirely, they are now making more time in their day for doing something THEY enjoy. Not just “servicing” their partner.0
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