Why Doesn't My Family Support Me?

Probably not, but why do you need the nod of approval from them? You're an adult. What they say/do should not determine your happiness.

I have the same problem. A lot of "you'll never stick with it" and "I don't believe you"s. I just don't talk about it with people who won't support me. It sucks to not be able to talk to my family about it, but I also use it as motivation. One day they will see me and they won't be able to say those things.

Because your success makes people think about themselves and most people don't like to/want to do that. When you're surrounded by people who live the way you do, it makes it easy not to examine your life. It's something that I've struggled with before and re-freaking-fuse to struggle with ever again. YOU are NOT responsible for other peoples insecurity. It's very hurtful when it comes from family, I know.

Congrats on your success

ETA: my mother is not supportive. She's implied more than once that "I don't eat" or that I have some sort of eating disorder, that I'm "too thin" and told me several times when I was clearly still very overweight that I should just "stop loosing now". Some people are under the impression that the smaller you get, the bigger they get.... and honestly that's just not your problem.

I use my family's inability to support me to push me harder. My mom, whom I know loves me and we have a pretty good relationship, was hell when I was a kid. I was depressed due to an alcoholic stepfather who used to physically beat up on us kids. (nothing sexual) She used to clip articles about how depression is directly because of obesity, highlight stuff, then leave it on my bed. She was heavier and as she lost weight she almost had an entitlement issue. She used to call people smaller than me fat which I took as a direct hit to my physical appearance. My little sister who was blessed with a "perfect" body, athletic, curves in all the right places, got 100% more affection and attention than I did. When she got older, however, my mom would claim that clothes she was wearing were ugly then once my sister got rid of them my mom would buy something similar. After I got to 330 pounds (too much of my F**k you mom attitude) I decided to get serious. I have taken many baby steps in which she hasn't said much along the way. I will ask her for exercise or diet help however my accomplishments go unnoticed. She is very competitive with her female children. This pushes me.

Here are some examples- I was excited and told her one week I rode 72 miles on my bike. The reply was Yeah? I rode 90 this week. Boom, this made me kick up my rides a little longer.

When I tell her about a weight loss she instantly says that she has gained about 10 pounds and needs to get serious because "She can't believe I am exercising more than she does now"

I just one day want to beat her at something. She has accomplished so much, and I am very proud of her, but when we do Cycle Oregon in 5 years I want to kick her *kitten* like no ones business. I want to prove that I can be better than she is.

I'm sorry your family is not supporting you. Hopefully, they're not actually trying to discourage you. But, if they are, this is a real I'll-show-you moment. You just do the best you can, and do not discuss your success with them, unless they bring it up. Here, at MFP, you'll get support and encouragement. I'm sure you have friends who will give you a boost when you need it. You're not alone. You're not on your own here.

Best of Luck! Keep on keepin' on. Ya know?

I dont have friends, and my husband is usually too busy for me so I know where you are with this. My mom is very over weight, and when I go to her for comfort, she tells me "you made your bed now l lie in it". When I start losing weight she tells me "you're doing it for no reason, you're just gonna gain it back or get preg. again". I have gone all my life w/o encouragement from anyone for anything. I am alone mentally and emotionally. Besides weight loss I am going thru something else really difficult. I have no one to turn to. The only way we are going to get passed anything is to have a made up mind and to keep moving forward. This site full of so many people I dont know or know anything about are my only encouragement, so dont feel alone in this.

People are uncomfortable when anyone around them makes a change for the better. What is so difficult to understand is when they try to sabotage you. When I made a big weight loss push years ago, coworkers would bring the box of donuts, or offer cake, cookies, whatever the junk food of the day was by my desk. I didn't think it was funny. Or I would be through eating at a family dinner, and "well meaning" relatives would keep insisting I eat more, even to the point one time I had to jerk my plate out from under the next scoop of unwanted food. It ended up on the table in a mess. Another time I tried to block with my hand and they dumped it on me anyway. It is absolutely infuriating, but I stick to my guns and let them no my "NO" means no. It's not just a diet thing, either.

I've also eliminated all debt save our last mortgage, and people would make fun, tease or leave little jibes here and there. I refuse to take advice from broke people or obese people trying to keep me where they are.

I too have a basically unsupportive family. Everyone starts having heart attacks and stints put in by their late/mid 40's. I just can't continue to live that mega high fat, starch bomb lifestyle any longer. Everyone around me is obese or sedentary. I have to look here for any kind of support, or understanding.

The bible says "Do not cast your pearls before swine" Matthew 7:6

Guard your heart and don't let anyone steal your joy. Find friends who will celebrate with you, not sneer at your successes in life.

...and how do I get past it? I feel like a wounded kid sometimes.

I talked with my sister yesterday (who is self-admittedly very unhealthy & obese) & wanted to tell her how excited & proud I was of my recent accomplishments. I've been active - exercising every day, eating green, cutting out sweets, watching my portions, etc. BUT before I could spill out any of the details which I was so excited to share (all I said was that I'd been living healthy recently) she said "UGH! DAMN YOU FOR BEING SO GOOD WHILE I'M NOT!". I know she's partly teasing and it's not about me and more about her but it's always like this and it's very deflating! I come from a long line of obese people. I fight for what I earn.

The same thing happens with my mom. I worked at the same company as her several years ago and four days a week on my lunch hour I would go running. I lost a ton of weight and was healthier than I had been since high school! It was a great accomplishment for me and challenging since I was newly divorced & a single mom. She never once encouraged me nor said I was doing well or looking good. In fact, when other people would compliment me in front of her she would sort of grimace. ??? Is it any wonder I stopped running & am back here starting over 6 years later? (not trying to 100% blame mom here) but she's only ever criticized me for looking heavier - especially when I was younger. I remember once I fit into a size 8 & she told me I was lying. ....Ok, that's enough for the trip down memory lane. :ohwell:

I'm not abused. I know I am loved but it's really hurtful when the people who know me the best don't get behind me & support my efforts to be healthy! Am I alone in this????

People behave that way because it is something they can't do themselves (well they can but choose not to!), so they don't want you feeling good about it either! Misery loves company, that saying is so very true. Don't let them get you down, you know you are doing what is right for you and no one can take that away from you!

Have you ever tried getting them involved? Maybe they don't know what to do and just need some help and are mad for not including them? Not sure if that could be the case at all, but might be something to consider!

Either way, be proud of all you have accomplished, you are an inspiration and you need to always remember how far you have come and what a wonderful person you are!!

Like so many others, I too have NO support from my family - and I see by reading all the above that it is not so uncommon. Someone above said they use it as a motivation to try harder - I have to agree, it seems when I get 'mad'....... at my family not helping or supporting me I can find the strength to take that 'extra' walk... or make the healither eating choice....

And I think starting today... I am going to be so much better. I have noticed that since I started MFP - I really haven't lost anything - and I was blaming OTHERS.or that I am too OLD...... well - I am taking control....I will (soon) be able to post a weight loss... I will track more carefully... and I will exercise more...I WILL BE HEALITHER!