How/When, if ever to tell someone he/she is obese.

The people who claim that "everyone" who is fat is fully aware of that fact are awfully presumptuous about their opinions.

Yup, most people seem to not realize their circumstances until someone does bluntly state their concern, a doctor recommends weight loss surgery, they get diabetes, etc. Seems like 'rock bottom' must be hit in many cases before they actually realize how obese they really have become.

My thoughts are if you do not know this person on a personal level, you have no business telling them they are fat. You don't think that these people who are obese don't know that they are heavier?

The last thing anybody should ever be doing is commenting on somebody's weight or looks. I see it time and again how rude and hurtful people can be when I'm out to eat or at a store. We all need to have a little more empathy because the issue probably goes far deeper than they just "don't care about themselves."

If somebody close to you is making unhealthy choices, I would recommend helping them make better ones and it doesn't involve coming out and telling them to put down the cheeseburger because they are fat.

Suggest cooking for them. When out to eat, suggest a place that has healthier options. Ask if they'd like to go on a walk. Little things like make a difference. I dont think people realize it sometimes. If they decline or do not want to make their lives healthier, then telling them they are worthless to society and fat is not going to help the situation, at all.

Again, the guy in Wisconsin was extremely out of line for commenting on the news anchor's weight. It sickens me reading some of the comments some people leave on here about how people can be so rude. You don't know her. Don't judge.

My sister is obese and I've often been tempted to say something to her whenever she complains about her back, knees, etc. Her blood sugar is high and I know that it's only a matter of time before something life changing happens to her because of her size. I know that her doctors have told her she has to lose, but it's always "I'm starting a diet next week" or "I'm joining the gym next month". I know I can't say anything to her without her getting all defensive, etc.

If she is openly complaining about it, I'd definitely say something to her. If you go to the gym, invite her along. Tell her that you need more friends on MFP and she should join.
I really do believe that most people are overweight because they simply don't know where to start or how to do it.

She's very opinionated, and I think suffers from some kind of depression since 9/11 and since my dad died 3 yrs. after that. She can get really nasty when confronted or has to leave her "comfort zone". She has a "boyfriend" but he has to shoot insulin 2x a day but continues to eat bread, pasta, sweets, etc. It's like they're both on a collision course.

I almost sprayed water out my nose and all I read was the topic! I have never told someone he/she is obese and don't plan to... he or she already knows!

The people who claim that "everyone" who is fat is fully aware of that fact are awfully presumptuous about their opinions.

It seems to me that someone who lives in the first world with access to media and education who is obese, and doesn't realize it, is either:
. -willfully preserving his/her ignorance of the state of affairs, in which case, he/she does in fact know that he/she is obese, and is making a choice to avoid thinking about it,
or
. -not thinking about anything at all, which may not be choice. Let them watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" in peace; making them feel bad won't help.

My sister is obese and I've often been tempted to say something to her whenever she complains about her back, knees, etc. Her blood sugar is high and I know that it's only a matter of time before something life changing happens to her because of her size. I know that her doctors have told her she has to lose, but it's always "I'm starting a diet next week" or "I'm joining the gym next month". I know I can't say anything to her without her getting all defensive, etc.

If she is openly complaining about it, I'd definitely say something to her. If you go to the gym, invite her along. Tell her that you need more friends on MFP and she should join.
I really do believe that most people are overweight because they simply don't know where to start or how to do it.

She's very opinionated, and I think suffers from some kind of depression since 9/11 and since my dad died 3 yrs. after that. She can get really nasty when confronted or has to leave her "comfort zone". She has a "boyfriend" but he has to shoot insulin 2x a day but continues to eat bread, pasta, sweets, etc. It's like they're both on a collision course.

That's really sad
Did you ever try asking her to come work out with you or anything? It's like helping her without telling her that she NEEDS the help, she may be much less likely to get offended

You are not a doctor or a therapist that can sit down and properly discuss obesity in regards to each individuals health nor discuss addictive behaviors to food therapeutically.

Who said you need to be a doctor or therapist to discuss obesity? Doesn't a 40 plus years of wrestling with the problem count for anything?

When it comes to somebody else's body, somebody you only know casually or do not know at all, no, it doesn't. Struggling with obesity for 40 plus years and losing all of the weight and staying in shape may make you qualified to pass on your knowledge to others if they ask you for advice. That's pretty much it.

I never say anything. We fatties know we are fat. We don't need anyone to tell us. The few who are delusional enough to have convinced themselves otherwise need professional help that we can not provide. We have all seen the occasional extreme plus size squeezed into "hoochy momma" outfits. Almost as bad as some of those people who show up for American Idol auditions with parents that have lied to them their entire lives then have neurotic breakdowns when told the truth.
All I can do is control the urge to laugh out loud. Self delusion can be funny to observe.

I can only speak about my situation. I have a mirror. I know and I knew I was getting out of hand. People when they would say something it was always to make me feel bad. I learned over this last year(I gained 17 lbs) it is not the food that was making me fat. It was and is my drive to eat more of the food the more I was unhappy, stressed, and in pain. I would turn to food. I ask the Lord to help me to find my own way, because others only said you have to exercise and cut back. Duh no kidding! It is easy to tell someone what to do or what they look like. It takes someone special to help you to see that the problem is deeper than food and lack of exercise. Yes there are a lot of people you have to hold their hand for awhile. I have learned when I am stressed one of the foods I love to eat is popcorn. I just started back 4 days ago trying to lose weight and it came to me the crunching is what I am enjoying. I just cut up cucumbers and have baby carrots ready to eat. I also put a 8x11 note on my fridge saying think twice make the right choice. These little things can help others without saying you fat. Especially if they are an emotional eater. My problem I was having I couldn't share with others, but friends started coming around and spending time with me to see if I needed anything. Their love and reaching out made me feel good and made me want to do better. When someone tell you about your weight it is how the person says it if it will help or harm. I say just watch how you approach them. Trust me I am living proof of going up the scale and not down. Hope this help someone good luck.