I Can't Eat

victorianesque
victorianesque Posts: 25 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sigh, high everyone, just looking for some support. I've been put on a restrictive 1,000 calorie a day diet by my doctor (yes, a doctor and it is temporary), but I've been having problems even doing that. It's hard to look at food as a friend and not an enemy these days. How do you get to think of food as a friend when doctors and everyone are constantly telling you how fat you are all the time?

EDIT: Just to be clear, I haven't been having a problem with hunger. The problem is that my brain is so anti-food right now that it has completely destroyed my appetite, so I've been having trouble eating even 1,000 calories, not going over.
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Replies

  • letjog
    letjog Posts: 260 Member
    Because eating a certain amount will help you reach your goal faster. Cutting it all out will lead to depression and risk of binges in the future.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    I know it's easy to get caught up in that mindset when you're restricting, but I think of food as fuel for my next workout. If I eat something crappy/unhealthy, my next workout is crappy. I have found this to be true 100% of the time. If I eat something healthy and balanced, I have a great workout. If I eat nothing or not enough, I can barely get through my workout and it's horrible, similar to when I eat crap.

    I feel the best with a good balance of veggies, fruit, complex carbs, and meat/other protein sources.
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
    Why did your doctor put you on this diet? Doctors do not receive much education in nutrition, so getting another opinion is a good idea.

    I would see a dietitian and ask if a psychologist would be helpful. If you're already thinking about food and weight loss in this way, it's going to be a long and painful road. Even though you say this is temporary, your thoughts about eating likely won't be.
  • JuanaViviane
    JuanaViviane Posts: 20
    You have to eat the right foods.
    White bread and cakes are not my friends, but I love sweetcorn, spinach, tuna, fruits :)
    Just eat healthy foods.
  • victorianesque
    victorianesque Posts: 25 Member
    She's a bariatric doctor that I was referred to by my primary care physician, so this is technically her specialty. It's just hard, because, she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."
  • JAMProphet
    JAMProphet Posts: 288 Member
    You have to eat the right foods.
    White bread and cakes are not my friends, but I love sweetcorn, spinach, tuna, fruits :)
    Just eat healthy foods.

    I was going to say something exactly like this- 1,000 calories is low, but there is still TONS of stuff that you can eat and enjoy- lots of veggies, some fruits and some lean proteins can make great meals and keep you under your calorie intake.
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
    She's a bariatric doctor that I was referred to by my primary care physician, so this is technically her specialty. It's just hard, because, she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."

    I think there are ways to balance that thinking. Yes, food is fuel, but it can certainly be enjoyable. I just don't understand the severe calorie restriction. Most of the research we have out there on weight loss shows us that a moderate calorie deficit (1,000 calories or less is not moderate for anyone) that does not eliminate foods we enjoy (eating them in moderation) is what is sustainable. I get that the goal is to lose weight in the short-term, but in long-term it's important you're creating habits right now that are sustainable and will help you keep the weight off. Eating 1,000 calories or less per day will not get anyone there.

    The ultimate goal is to be healthy in body *and* mind, no? Severe restriction, elimination, and disordered thinking seems to work against those goals.
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
    Food is fuel, but that does not mean you cannot enjoy it too! Even on a 1000 calorie diet, if you eat the right things you can still eat quite a bit. Though, like the others, I think that a 1000 calorie diet is not a good idea. Just try to eat what sounds good to you (not burgers from McD's, but any healthy thing that sounds good). I occasionally have days where I just don't feel like eating, but I try to eat something, and whatever sounds good is what it is !
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    She's a bariatric doctor that I was referred to by my primary care physician, so this is technically her specialty. It's just hard, because, she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."

    I never understand that mindset. Yes food is fuel. But it should be fun, too! It's social and it tastes good. It's not like you should stuff things you hate down your throat and never enjoy it. Good foods can taste good. And bad foods can be eaten in moderation.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    You have to change your relationship with food....that's what I did. I no longer look at it as something strictly for pleasure but as something my body needs to survive and thrive. Not that I don't enjoy what I eat, but I was only eating JUNK before. Now I make tasty food that is good for me too with a few treats I can fit in. Food isn't the enemy...its how you perceive it that is. :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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  • Goal_Line
    Goal_Line Posts: 474 Member
    I found change you actions, eventually your brain will follow. make good food choices (lean protean, fruit & veggies - all the veggies you want) . Eventually you brain will think of food as fuel. But this reprogramming takes time and effort at first. Once your brain in reprogrammed, it gets so easy.
  • AmandaInGA
    AmandaInGA Posts: 122 Member
    try looking for foods that are low in calories, yet still high in fiber and protein. These foods will help fill you up and keep you feeling full longer.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    She's a bariatric doctor that I was referred to by my primary care physician, so this is technically her specialty. It's just hard, because, she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."

    Food is fuel. Treat it like that. YES, find things you enjoy eating, but don't let it be a hedonistic thing.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    I found change you actions, eventually your brain will follow. make good food choices (lean protean, fruit & veggies - all the veggies you want) . Eventually you brain will think of food as fuel. But this reprogramming takes time and effort at first. Once your brain in reprogrammed, it gets so easy.

    yup eat clean for a few weeks and your tastes will change..you wont crave the food you love right now and you would start seeing it for what it really is.. Crap!! And you will start finding the healthy stuff yummy..Patience and perseverance is the key :)
  • namluv
    namluv Posts: 194 Member
    in light of your edit, I am changing my statement completely. Agree with those who say seek professional counsel. Also, eat good fat foods on those days when you're not inclined to eat (avocado, nuts) and eat lots of mini-meals if you really can't stomach a full meal. I have had days when I felt like that but made myself keep going.. even if it was an almond every 5 min!
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
    I disagree with those focused on the actual foods you are eating. I think there is more concern for how eating so little and dieting in general is affecting how you think and feel about food. This is something you need to address with your doctor and I think if it continues you should see a psychologist who specializes in disordered eating behaviors.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I am eating around 1000 cals these days, and it really isnt that hard. I actually have turned into a bit of a foodie now, because I really focus on the food and nutrition rather than just mindless fast food, quick instant gratification that I had in the past. I love the challenge of figuring out how to make the most food, that tastes great and gets my protein and good fat levels where I need them to be, while staying within my calorie goal. It is becoming a bit of an obsession actually, but has kept me from craving all the junk calories I did before. And I am feeling great! Food is a tool to get me to the healthy weight I need to be. It doesn't have to be boring or tasteless. I am going for quality. My body deserves to have the best nutrition put in it.

    Think of your body as a Ferarri.. You wouldn't put cheap gas in it, nor would you let it run out of fuel and be left sitting on the side of the road instead of being in the race!
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
    I disagree with those focused on the actual foods you are eating. I think there is more concern for how eating so little and dieting in general is affecting how you think and feel about food. This is something you need to address with your doctor and I think if it continues you should see a psychologist who specializes in disordered eating behaviors.

    Granola's right. If you are feeling so much fear and animosity towards food then you need to talk to a doctor and seek help. I would absolutely recommend finding a counselor. Food should not scare you, and if it does then you need to find somebody to help you address these disordered feelings and thoughts before this progresses further.

    You need someone to help you learn to trust yourself around food and to trust food not to hurt you. If you are employed, I suggest checking to see if your place of employment offers an EAP through your benefits. Most have something in place and you should be able to get at least short-term counseling for free through the benefit to help you address the issue.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Food is fuel indeed. But if you don't fuel your car, guess what - can't go anywhere.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    The bariatric doctor knows how much food you need. She also knows that you have some psychological issue that led you to be so overweight at such a young age.

    Now that you are having to make a change, all your issues are going to have to be dealt with - and they are all going to come up and require you to deal with them if you want to recover. You can no longer see food as a way to medicate your emotions. But the flip side of this is that you can't use restricting to calm your emotions, either. If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution. Ever.

    Ask your bariatric doctor for a referral to a counselor. I would think that would be a part of any bariatric practice anyway. Maybe she is waiting for you to ask. Therapy only works if the patient allows it to work.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    eat a twinkie
  • CATindeeHAT
    CATindeeHAT Posts: 332 Member
    She's a bariatric doctor that I was referred to by my primary care physician, so this is technically her specialty. It's just hard, because, she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."

    They say it takes 30 days to make a habit love.

    Just try and stay strong and with each passing day it will get easier.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    My brother had some really wise words one time, and although to most it'll probably considered bad taste and tacky...but the point is still relevant.

    He was trying a new frozen dinner while I was over there and I asked him how it was, he sat there for a moment as though he was deep in thought, and after a minute he looked at me and said, "It's not really that good." Right afterwards he took another big bite as though it was the best thing on the planet. The response and the action didn't match so I asked him, "If it's not that good, why are you still eating it?" His response was simply,"Because, even though it's not that good, it'll make you poop."

    His point was, it's just food. Sometimes it's good, sometimes its bad, but the whole point of food is to eat it, digest it, get what fuel we can from it, and let it go.
  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
    she's basically saying, "Food is fuel, stop thinking of it as enjoyable."

    I'd punch someone RIGHT IN THE FACE if they told me this...

    I'm nosy... any particular reason you are going the bariatric route? I'm not trying to judge, but I have about 80lbs to lose to be in my "healthy" weight range and I've decided I'm just not interested. Weight is just the number- it says nothing about what your body really is, your composition. Given I can only see your head and don't know what your efforts have been like, but bariatric surgery is SERIOUS and in my opinion a "last resort" type of thing.

    If food wasn't meant to be enjoyable, it would taste like dog ****. My doctor and I talk about weight all the time. He is TOTALLY against a VLCD for me. I am aware that this is "me and my doctor," but I think my doctor is awesome and based on her telling you that food is only fuel, think your doctor sucks *kitten*.

    Edited to add: You CAN eat. You WON'T eat. In therapy, even treating ED, this is the simple truth. CAN'T is a cognitive distortion- some ****ed up thought you've let poison your mind. First step is STOP SAYING YOU CAN'T. Find something you enjoy, that you don't think of as just fuel, and bite it.
  • victorianesque
    victorianesque Posts: 25 Member
    No, you're absolutely right. I think the problem is that, I love food. I've spent the past two years going down from over 320 lbs by eating healthy, limiting my portions, and learning to appreciate foods that are good for my body. I think I'm just frustrated, because I've done all this work, the progress completely stalled, and now I'm basically being told that I should choose a protein bar over egg whites and spinach.

    I looked at her, and I was like, "I don't think I would enjoy a protein bar for dinner. Can't I have egg whites and veggies instead?" And she said, "That's your problem. It shouldn't matter what it is, as long as it's fueling your body."

    I felt like an idiot. Like she was part of some superior, high-thinking race of people that wouldn't deign to suggest that eating scrambled egg whites might be more enjoyable than eating a protein bar.

    Am I completely wrong here? Is this how skinny, healthy people think of food, as a means to an end? The whole experience has just made me completely doubt my ability to make proper choices, and I think that's where the distaste for food has come from. It's not so much that I dislike food, or even nutritious food, just that I'm scared that I am just completely missing the point.

    Meh.
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
    I looked at her, and I was like, "I don't think I would enjoy a protein bar for dinner. Can't I have egg whites and veggies instead?" And she said, "That's your problem. It shouldn't matter what it is, as long as it's fueling your body."


    ...what. That is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, food fuels your body, but it also provides enjoyment. This is why people celebrate with feasts. Denying that there's a difference between a protein bar you hate and an egg white scramble you would enjoy is just ridiculous, ignorant and, in my opinion, downright disordered. Eating should be an enjoyable experience, not a chore. Yes, you're more likely to overdo it when you like it, but you're also more likely to crash and burn if you try to force yourself into something you absolutely despise.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I looked at her, and I was like, "I don't think I would enjoy a protein bar for dinner. Can't I have egg whites and veggies instead?" And she said, "That's your problem. It shouldn't matter what it is, as long as it's fueling your body."


    ...what. That is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, food fuels your body, but it also provides enjoyment. This is why people celebrate with feasts. Denying that there's a difference between a protein bar you hate and an egg white scramble you would enjoy is just ridiculous, ignorant and, in my opinion, downright disordered. Eating should be an enjoyable experience, not a chore. Yes, you're more likely to overdo it when you like it, but you're also more likely to crash and burn if you try to force yourself into something you absolutely despise.

    Yeah, I agree. I can't believe a doctor would tell you to eat a protein bar rather than real food that is perfectly healthy and nutritious. It is ok to like the taste of food. We just have to learn how to make healthy choices. If there are certain foods that you simply cannot control, then you might need to stay away from those, but goodness, fresh veggies and lean protein are always a better choice than processed food.
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
    I looked at her, and I was like, "I don't think I would enjoy a protein bar for dinner. Can't I have egg whites and veggies instead?" And she said, "That's your problem. It shouldn't matter what it is, as long as it's fueling your body."


    ...what. That is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, food fuels your body, but it also provides enjoyment. This is why people celebrate with feasts. Denying that there's a difference between a protein bar you hate and an egg white scramble you would enjoy is just ridiculous, ignorant and, in my opinion, downright disordered. Eating should be an enjoyable experience, not a chore. Yes, you're more likely to overdo it when you like it, but you're also more likely to crash and burn if you try to force yourself into something you absolutely despise.

    Agreed - ridiculous. Most of the people who have been successful on here will tell you that they ate pretty much whatever they wanted in moderation and ate within their calorie goal most of the time (and they had calorie goals way over 1,000 calories). You can still cook things you love to eat, bake, have treats now and then, work hard and find different types of exercise you love doing and be successful. It takes patience and perseverance and constantly educating yourself.

    One awesome blog I've come to love is called go kaleo. Check her out. She's got awesome things to say that might help. gokaleo.com
  • karmahunger
    karmahunger Posts: 373 Member
    You can still enjoy food and keep to 1000 calories. My dad always says; "Eat breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Queen and Dinner like a peasant."

    If you eat a big breakfast and drink water throughout the day (hot water makes you feel full longer) then you won't be as hungry, and you can still enjoy food. There are tons of low calorie and filling meals out there!

    Stay strong and remember, this is for you. Food is fuel, but it should also be fun and yum.

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