To TELL them... or Just let it go?

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Replies

  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    You're making a big pile of something out of nothing.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    I have a couple friends who don't really have a filter when they speak... I know they don't MEAN to be offensive... but they are sometimes.

    The other night one of my guy friends was over, we were talking about a mutual friend, and I said how pretty she was. He says "You're beautiful too... I honestly don't know why so many people put so much emphasis on physical appearance... You have an awesome personality!"

    Now, I know him well... I know he MEANT for that to be a compliment... but it made me feel like Quasi Moto in the bell tower.

    What do you do with your friends like this... Do you say anything... or just try to take if for the compliment that they meant for it to be and let it go?

    I've learned it is best to let these things go. We are all human and far from perfect. I sure I've put my foot in my mouth as much as the next person, although I try really hard not to. Life is too short. My life is half over and I refuse to waste another moment getting upset about silly things and imperfect people because we are all merely human.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Let it go. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to analyze everything people say.
  • danam82
    danam82 Posts: 30
    He just said you are beautiful AND you have an awesome personality. In my experience, guys can be awkward when giving compliments and they can come out sounding odd. Just take the compliments for what they are and appreciate it. Stop reading into it.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    ...and furthermore...

    That compliment showed that he was completely aware of how you see yourself relative to the other girl. He sees that it hurts you and was doing his incompetent guy best to express that you are highly valued for who you are.

    Maybe he could have done better.
    Maybe that's only friendship love talking, but it certainly is love.
  • Mslajackson
    Mslajackson Posts: 46 Member
    I so know what you mean. It's like you have a pretty face comment...dammit all of me is beautiful!!!

    I hate the slap in the face 'compliments' he may not have meant it in a bad way, but it still shows his inner thoughts you know?
  • becon1022
    becon1022 Posts: 39
    maybe he was telling you that yes the other girl's appearance may be considered attractive to most but he finds her personality not so attractive. believe it or not some men need more than just a pretty face or body to find a girl attractive. he was telling you that you are not only pretty on the outside (body/face) but on the inside as well (personality, being nice, down to earth, ect) meaning you have true beauty & someone he would find attractive unlike the other girl you mentioned. if he was just trying to be nice he probably would have started something like dont worry personalty is way more important than looks.
  • Litlbeast
    Litlbeast Posts: 340 Member
    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.

    Reason why I always have more male friends, and loved working in construction.
  • becon1022
    becon1022 Posts: 39
    @digitalbill thats funny i could see myself doing the same thing. we dont really think about how things will sound or be taken. i let you know something else that drives my wife crazy we cant just listen & understand your problems so if you tell us yes we are going to try and fix it/find a solution. plus we dont get/understand hints at all. but back to the OP you are lucky sounds like you have a decent guy find & dont take things to seriously.
  • lorib75
    lorib75 Posts: 490 Member
    I think the point is... she only commented on how pretty a mutual friend is. She didn't downplay her own looks or personality. DONE
    He didn't have to say anything except... Yah, she's cute. Now go make me some nachos!:drinker:
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    I think the point is... she only commented on how pretty a mutual friend is. She didn't downplay her own looks or personality. DONE
    He didn't have to say anything except... Yah, she's cute. Now go make me some nachos!:drinker:

    Ha good point
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    i understood at first what you meant but now i see what he said differently

    you mentioned the friend by her looks, he said he didmt get why people mention people based on looks/physical etc

    maybe he thought you were putting yourself down by talking about how pretty she was and he told you that you were and not just that but you have a great personality! double the compliment!!

    Wow that's a good point. I didn't think of that!

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