why do young women overlook nice guys

How old is your kid?

I'm not going to make this recipe.

I'm not going to make this recipe.

XD

Well one of the things I have noticed about nice, shy guys is they don't know how to respond to flirting. I work with a wonderfully nice guy and it took a long time to get him to realize that I was genuinely flirting with him. I would gladly date him, but as he has told others he doesn't think I am serious about it. I am a bubbly fun people person, and he doesn't see why I would be attracted to him. So maybe something like that is part of the problem. One day he is going to find a girl who wont give up because he is shy.

Not all young women overlook nice guys. I'm 22 and engaged to the nicest man that you'll ever meet. And honestly, some girls don't know what they want as this age.
Like it was said before, confidence is everything. Don't be shy, we can't always read your mind.

im not sure they do... i think its much more likely that neither party wants to make the first move...

there is nothing worse than seeing a nice guy getting used though some girls are horrible
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I'm sure there's a whole host of evolutionary/biological reasoning for this.

Nice=beta

i started taking care of myself and was getting a compliment from a friend when we got on the subject of our kids and i was asking her how come my son has had a hard time finding a young woman he is very shy and sometimes he doesnt always know how to start up a conversation when i told her i joined myfitness she said i should put the question up to get a female answer for him he meets women but because he too shy to really talk to them they dismiss him and i dont know how to get him out of that since im doing my own improvements i started wandering what i can do to help him any advice would be helpfull

Thing is, women don't overlook men because they're "nice." We overlook the ones that don't make their intentions known to us in the first place.
Confidence is a -very- important trait. It doesn't take much effort to tell someone, "Hey. I like you. Let's go out sometime," or "You're really cute. Can I ask you out on a date?"

But if he's too timid to ask, you can't really blame the girls he's interested in when they "overlook" him.

THIS!!!

Nice guy do tend to be shy, not all the time of course, but you said so yourself your kid is shy. even in our modern times, we are taught if a guy is into you, he'll make the first move. So tell your son to step up the confidence.


p.s. not to be shallow, but sometimes no matter how nice a guy is if a girl is not attracted to him, the answer will always be no. But that's why beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

My boyfriend is pretty shy and I used to be very shy. I think because I once was (still am, but not as bad) it's easier for me to understand it. We met randomly at a concert and I think if we weren't so nerdishly into the band, we probably would have been very quiet and never saw each other again. Maybe if he has a passion/hobby he should join some sort of community to meet like-minded people?

As for confidence, I think we back each other up when needed. I'm a pretty independent person and don't need someone to fight my fights for me. I will speak up for him if someone is being a ****head to either of us, though. He hates it but I think that's the shy talking =/

Women have lots of responsibilities nowadays. I find when a person asks a question like this about how "nice " guys finish last or similar warmed over bs excuse like that, "nice" really means "uncertain incapable of making a decision doesn't know who he is much less who he is in relation to others passive aggressive manipulator looking for someone else to be responsible for his own basic needs/responsibilities sad sack that will guilt you into going out with him (or her in some versions) because they're so NICE you're just an *kitten* if you do anything that might hurted their feelings even if that's as simple as having a legitimate desire that might be at odds with the unexpressed desire of the manipulative "nice " person" but maybe that's just me. Or maybe women have enough on their plate to deal with THAT too.

As far as having lived life expecting others to be responsible for ones own basic needs, might that be evident if his mom or dad asks strangers on the Internet what he needs to do diifferently to get a girl?

And sometimes guys who disappoint their mothers so are gay or asexual or dated someone mom wouldn't approve of and are practically emasculated under the crushing weight that is the unending expectation and demand their parent has for how they live their life regardless of their own desires.

Or maybe the answer is that a whole demographic group is just mean and superficial. That does seem like the easier answer.

i know a guy that was the same way and when i finnally asked him why didnt have approach me sooner he said he didnt think he had a chance with a girl as pretty as me so i married him he will find the right girl that will make him make the 1st move

Bad boys are sexier than nice guys. Just a fact of life!! This is part of my struggle too. I'm nice by nature but have a naughty streak. When I am being bad I get a LOT more attention and it's good quality "freaky" attention but it's a self-inflicted trap because the bad boy lifestyle is not a healthy one. Sure it's great being treated like a piece of meat but it's not emotionally fulfilling. Yet getting used as a doormat and emotionally abused and always coming in last is not healthy for the nice guy side of me, either. I am learning to find a balance but it's very hard. You have to remember that men and women are sexy for different reasons and it's OK for men to be sexual in a virile, confident way because women do like that. Hence, the bad boys getting the attention. But it doesn't take away from the "nice guy" effect if they are a bad boy with good manners. Not truly "bad" but just confident in being masculine. If he respects women then he can embrace his manhood without turning into a prick. This is something Dad should help with; my Dad didn't help much and of course, we gay boys are lost when it comes to advice from Dad!! But I have learned a lot about sexuality on my own so for what it's worth, that's my two cents. :-)

Women have lots of responsibilities nowadays. I find when a person asks a question like this about how "nice " guys finish last or similar warmed over bs excuse like that, "nice" really means "uncertain incapable of making a decision doesn't know who he is much less who he is in relation to others passive aggressive manipulator looking for someone else to be responsible for his own basic needs/responsibilities sad sack that will guilt you into going out with him (or her in some versions) because they're so NICE you're just an *kitten* if you do anything that might hurted their feelings even if that's as simple as having a legitimate desire that might be at odds with the unexpressed desire of the manipulative "nice " person" but maybe that's just me. Or maybe women have enough on their plate to deal with THAT too.

As far as having lived life expecting others to be responsible for ones own basic needs, might that be evident if his mom or dad asks strangers on the Internet what he needs to do diifferently to get a girl?

And sometimes guys who disappoint their mothers so are gay or asexual or dated someone mom wouldn't approve of and are practically emasculated under the crushing weight that is the unending expectation and demand their parent has for how they live their life regardless of their own desires.

Or maybe the answer is that a whole demographic group is just mean and superficial. That does seem like the easier answer.

Wow ... just, wow ....

No one wants a mama's boy. If your parents are asking around why no one will date you, that sums it up!

Um, your title asks about "nice" guys, but your post is actually about a painfully shy guy. The reason (or at least one reason) that women overlook shy guys is because shy guys don't put out any signals that they're interested. It's been a while since I've dated, but back in the day if I gave out a signal to a guy and it wasn't returned, I figured he wasn't interested and moved on. I'm all about the nice guy -- married the nicest guy I've ever known -- but if a guy was too shy to talk to me, how would I know if he were nice or not? And what's a girl supposed to do? -- Corner your poor son and "force" him out of his shell? Based on no indication of interest from him? Tough situation. Maybe some therapy would help?

Good luck to him.