Please Help - Need Advice - Confused!

MamaDory
MamaDory Posts: 10
in Health and Weight Loss
After looking through the forum, I have decided to ask to take to the forum in order to ask for the advice of MFP. I have a few questions that I have had runing around in my head for a while, and I wondered if anyone had the same problems.

1) I used to weigh 9 stone 10lbs at 5'3/5'4; so I got into a frame of miind where I was eating under 1000kcal a day, till I ended up 7 stone 4lbs. However, after my family wanting me to either 'help myself', or they'd get professional advice on my behalf, I decided that I would have to eat more. My hair was falling out, I was obssessive, gaunt and tired. I have always had curves, and aways been on the chunkier side, with the family eating large portions, so fter a while my stomach expanded and I could consume more.
This isn't too bad, except for the fact that I weigh between 7 stone 12lbs and 8 stone 2lbs.... I'm feeling so fat! I hate looking in the mirror still, l always have but especially now, alI see is fat!
I have gotten to the stage where I am always thinking about food, always looking forard to meals, and always overeating. My stomach has put on so much weight, and athough I have tried to cut down the carbs, it seems I was a sugar/carb monster in a previous life. I have put on quite a bit of muscle as, in the half term rm college, ran on the tread for hours twice a week and cycled everywhere, so my legs now touch and look huge. I have also regained my bum, and am now approximately a six, whereas atmy lowest I was a 4/6, and prior to the diet I was about a 12. I also have excess skin on stomach, as well as fat and this really gets me down. I wondered if anyone had a similar exerience?

2) Therefore, do I limit mycarbs below 100, my fat below 20, and my kcal below 1000 for small period to lose my stomach? I'd love a flat, washbord stomach; always have since I can remember, as have lways been overweight - at age 13 alone and 5ft I was 11.5 stone!

3) I binge eat. There will be times, especially at night, after my shift at work (I'm at college so have a part time job at McDonald's...) where I will eat everything, evenwhen I am not hungry. It seems to all be carb (especially cereal), and everything that I used to cut out to the extreme before I upped my intake. Is this perhaps a result of my extreme, disorder-like defecit, or being simply greedy?


Any related advice would be briliant, including anything which you feel I shouldnow/any tips.


Many thanks

A very confused and upset-at-body-image MFP user.
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Replies

  • MamaDory
    MamaDory Posts: 10
    P.S. Sorry for aparently terrible spelling; keyboard is new and hates rapid typing! ><
  • lcfitnesscraze
    lcfitnesscraze Posts: 4
    Binge eating is a very common occurance after restrictive behavior. Your body can only exist on too few calories for so long before it absolutely needs more food. I know it's really tempting to keep restricting in order to "balance" out the calories consumed from your binging but the longer you keep doing that, the longer this cycle will continue. Have you spoken to a nutritionist? You should find out how many calories you should be consuming during the day so that you're well-nourished during the day and can avoid overeating at night. It won't be easy but if you begin eating what your body needs you will reach your natural healthy weight and get rid of what you have gained around your middle. You can do it!
  • jonchew
    jonchew Posts: 239 Member
    Well, you definitely have self-image issues - in your profile picture you look very lean to me, no fat that I can see. I'd be wary about free advice offered on the forums (hey, mine included), while everyone is well-intentioned, we are in-large amateurs, and it sounds to me like you could use personalized assurances. Perhaps you should enlist the help of a dietitian and take it from there?

    Off-hand, I'd say that you need to up your kcals and start exercising, instead of just starving yourself. You don't get a washboard stomach by just not eating, you know.
  • Alpina483
    Alpina483 Posts: 246 Member
    8 stone 2lbs is less than 52 kg, right?... still fat you say? you need someone to check on that for you, and i mean a certified pro.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Your body will get much closer to the more toned look you probably want if you trade out some of the cardio exercise for a good weight training routine. I suggest reading: The New Rules of Lifting for Women, by Lou Schuler.

    You will not "bulk up" so don't worry about that.

    Cardio is great but an over emphasis on it can lead some individuals to look "skinny fat".
  • PLUMSGRL
    PLUMSGRL Posts: 1,134 Member
    If you want to lose your stomach, increase your calories and start lifting weights. Otherwise you will ALWAYS be "skinny fat"!
  • Miche11e5
    Miche11e5 Posts: 114 Member
    Read this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/758160-reminder-the-scale-does-not-define-you

    and throw away your scale. Eat right (most days), exercise (most days) and you'll feel and look great!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    please seek professional help
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    To be honest, a lot of the behavior and feelings you describe are indicative of some kind of eating disorder - the feeling of being fat when you aren't, the obsession both with food and with your size, the binging, etc. My best suggestion is to see a doctor who can help you resolve the issues.
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
    Exercise. I'm willing to bet that your entire weight-loss program is based on dieting alone. I'd have you know that Victoria Secret models do spend a good amount of time at the gym.
  • juliesjuke
    juliesjuke Posts: 93 Member
    Most doctors/nutritionist will tell you not to eat under 1200 calories in a day.Of course they have to be "smart calories" not junk food.Also add exercise even if it is just walking(no cost) and drink plenty water,very important.Drinking water when you feel a little hungry will help you feel full.Also eating more often helps because you don't get to the point that you feel starved.A protein snack mid morning and one mid afternoon helps a lot also,with sensible meals in between. Hope this helps you.There are a lot of people on here with good advice and willing to help. Good luck.You can add me as a friend if you like. have a great day.:wink:
  • mcarrillo5167
    mcarrillo5167 Posts: 9 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you feel like that. Having been a person that has always had weight issues, especially with maintenance...you never appreciate when you're smaller since your perception of yourself is so warped. I think you should do the profile so that it can tell you exactly how many calories you should intake and go from there. I recently invested in the Fitbit Ultra and it's so motivating. Even though MFP tells you what you lose during exercise and all of the extra details, the Fitbit works on a rewards system (badges) which really motivates you to move more.

    As for the excess skin, don't do weights, my dad always said women don't need weights to look nice and toned. Try pilates, it's a really good leaner and toner. Zumba is really good as well, since it'll move everything and tone it all out. The last thing you want to do is have extra meat and then bulk it up with muscle.

    Don't think you're fat, you're not because even when you lose it you'll still feel the same. Find a picture of yourself when you were at a point that you liked your size, and focus on that. My tickler has my tummy in a bikini when I was 21 and thought I was so fly. That's what motivates me! Friend me, we can be each others' support.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    You need to stop dieting and talk to a doctor NOW. You have an eating disorder.
  • tlfoulk
    tlfoulk Posts: 5 Member
    You mentioned you are in school...check into your student services center to see if you can get into a support group ( I prefer to call them friend circles) or any other program that may give you the support you need. There may be student clubs focused on outdoor pursuits or other active recreational activities. Staying active in a social setting where you can get the love, friendship. and just plain support in general can be very freeing. I've always read that binge eating is a symptom of a bigger problem. You may need to explore that and see if you can find out if that is the case. Also, try to find another job. McDonald's is a terrible place to work. The food there is horrible for you and just acts as an obstacle to your situation. You may not be able to find one right away...but keep trying. I am in school too. It's so hard to balance college life and nutrition and exercise. You are a very pretty young lady...everytime you look in the mirror tell yourself that you are worthy and precious. Also, you may want to take a nutrition class, a positive psychology class, or an addiction class. I'm not saying you have an addiction; but none the less, knowledge is power. I pray you find the answers you are looking for! Stay strong and stay positive. Life is short. Enjoy its beauty and your own self worth! Good luck and God Bless. tl

    PS What kind of measurement is a stone? I've never heard that before. :D
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    PS What kind of measurement is a stone? I've never heard that before. :D

    British. It equals 14 pounds.
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
    Healthy eating & exercise is good for all but when you are not sure just how you get to that you need professional help with it! I had very bad perception of what my problems were & never got far with addressing them until I went for counselling to discuss relationships with food & people.
    So my advice is to get some qualified help. Everyone on here is in the same battle & can support but not help you find your own path to success.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    You need to stop dieting and talk to a doctor NOW. You have an eating disorder.

    Also see http://www.something-fishy.org for more information on the many types of disordered eating. Sometimes more than one applies.
  • delacruz_courtney
    delacruz_courtney Posts: 30
    You are beautiful :). We are all here because we want to better ourselves whether by loosing weight, gaining weight, becoming toned, or just eating healthy calories. I understand that you want to be your best, but you can't get there with the methods you're taking. I think 1200 calories is really low personally. Allow yourself to eat 1800 and just watch your portions, that way you can have the foods you desire, just not in excess. Get a scale and measure ounces (it's fun, especially if you are obsessive).
    You must exercise; it's so important. Above all else, spend time with God. He can help you with your body image issue.
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    You are below the Ideal weight for a woman your height.
  • dominikaro
    dominikaro Posts: 86
    Ok so as a former anorexic and former bulimic person I need to tell you: You have an eating disorder. And your overeating is as bad as undereating and it is all the same problem.

    My advice is to see a doctor.

    As for a diet: you need to put your health first. Don't try to loose any weight before you deal with your eating disorder issue. Put your callorie goal somewhere between 1600 and 1900kcal (I don't know how much you move) and try to eat only healthy, real, fresh foods. Remember about 5 portions of fruits and vegetables. Workout a bit, but not too much. Dont try to burn all the callories you eat.

    What helped me most in dealing with eating disorders was a daily meal plan. Always eat at the same time and the same amout of food, until you feel like you have it all under control.

    Good luck. Go see a doctor.
  • MamaDory
    MamaDory Posts: 10
    I do exercise at the gym when I can, and I also do weights, I.e legs, squats, toe touches with the medicine ball... I don't just do cardio :-)
    But it's just that now I eat lots it's hard to keep it off.!
  • MamaDory
    MamaDory Posts: 10
    And nowadays I eat 2000-3000, so quite a bit!

    But thank you all for the help, it's brilliant to have support; have felt like im doing this on my own for a long time! Xxx
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do exercise at the gym when I can, and I also do weights, I.e legs, squats, toe touches with the medicine ball... I don't just do cardio :-)
    But it's just that now I eat lots it's hard to keep it off.!

    Dory, please ignore the people offering dieting advice and listen to the rest of us. You have an eating disorder. You need to forget about diet, forget about the scale and get mentally and emotionally healthy.
  • MamaDory
    MamaDory Posts: 10
    I guess it stemmed from years of bullying. I'm sorry , I feel like I'm moaning, and I know it was my choice to diet. It just started off as having a bit to lose, and prove that I could fit in with the other girls, and then ending up emotionally/mentally warped by eating. Since when did such a natural occurrence become such a problem?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I guess it stemmed from years of bullying. I'm sorry , I feel like I'm moaning, and I know it was my choice to diet. It just started off as having a bit to lose, and prove that I could fit in with the other girls, and then ending up emotionally/mentally warped by eating. Since when did such a natural occurrence become such a problem?

    Don't be sorry. No one is angry with you, just worried about you. Eating disorders are in your mind. People who suffer from them don't see their bodies as they actually are; they see them in a distorted way. When others see someone too thin (and you may not be, but the disorder is about your thinking, not your physique), the disordered person will see fat. You can't fight this on your own. You need help.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I guess it stemmed from years of bullying. I'm sorry , I feel like I'm moaning, and I know it was my choice to diet. It just started off as having a bit to lose, and prove that I could fit in with the other girls, and then ending up emotionally/mentally warped by eating. Since when did such a natural occurrence become such a problem?

    If it is a problem, at least you identify it as such and can get help to treat it. A lot of people, especially young women, have warped ideas about their body and food. Having a healthy relationship with food and a positive outlook about your body are two things to strive for. Not everyone can get there without help. Sometimes it takes years. I'm glad you're seeing the issues and hopefully working toward fixing it. Don't be scared to talk to a professional about these issues, as disordered eating can truly be dangerous or, in extreme cases, even deadly.

    This advice comes from genuinely caring about your well being and wishing you the best in the future.
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
    If eating 1500 calories a day doesn't work for you, you can try intermittent fasting if you like to binge eat or basically count your calories for 2 days instead of one. Make sure your fasting days are busy and exercise on your fasting days to make you forget about food.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    If eating 1500 calories a day doesn't work for you, you can try intermittent fasting if you like to binge eat or basically count your calories for 2 days instead of one. Make sure your fasting days are busy and exercise on your fasting days to make you forget about food.

    Stop it.
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
    If eating 1500 calories a day doesn't work for you, you can try intermittent fasting if you like to binge eat or basically count your calories for 2 days instead of one. Make sure your fasting days are busy and exercise on your fasting days to make you forget about food.

    Stop it.

    No
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    I would also suggest professional help. You will be a lot happier and healthier.

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