I feel crazy, Advice?

2»

Replies

  • Uuuhlexis
    Uuuhlexis Posts: 90 Member
    It's about trust. Personally, I feel more comfortable in my relationship when my boyfriend and I can be honest about our sexuality. Maybe it means we talk about a woman's nice rack, maybe I explain to him what makes McSteamy so steamy, maybe it's him and his friends going to a strip club (though TBH I'd probably want to go because I think it would be fun..). You gotta realize, and maybe I didn't when I was 18, but I do now, that for guys sex doesn't equal love. And finding someone sexually attractive doesn't mean they're gonna go do something with them. If he truly loves and respects you-you have nothing to worry about. Now, if he does do something with a stripper-that just saves you from wasting your time with someone who isn't worth it. Win/win.
  • Uuuhlexis
    Uuuhlexis Posts: 90 Member
    Also, this is just a suggestion, but when he gets back from the club, you should just meet him at home and give him a show of your own ;) That's what I would do.
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
    Are 19 year olds even allowed in strip clubs? lol Just tell him how you feel about the situation and ask him not to go. Don't listen to the dumb people on here who say " get over it". You feelings should be taken into consideration.
  • sarahsummers12
    sarahsummers12 Posts: 128 Member
    Sure, SOME dudes like strip clubs. But you have to ask why?
    If my partner announced her desire to go to a Chippendale show, I would have a real problem with that. I feel that lusting over someone else other than my partner is crossing some kind of line. I fully understand your discomfort. You are not crazy..

    Call me old-fashioned.

    I must be old fashioned too...lol.. I agree - I understand people look at others - but seeing someone in the street and thinking they are attractive is completely different to going to a strip club to purposefully ogle women/ men getting naked and doing acts (especially the female strippers - some of the stuff they do is DISGUSTING!) and your partner isn't going to be able to get a lap dance/private show while perving on the beach! My hubby and I both agree that going to strip clubs when you are with someone is wrong...
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    This is quite a catch 22. You trust your boyfriend, but you really feel apprehensive about him going. Strange, but I think that most women (and even men) understand this. I went with my exH, but that was over 20 years ago. Today, I have different views about how I feel about it. I would not go and would expect my husband to respect the fact I don't want him to go. The same goes for me. He would not want a male stripper hanging his junk all up in my face.

    This has nothing to do with trust. We are married and have a family. He can look at other women all the live long day and appreciate their beauty for what it is. Once the line to lust gets crossed, I have a problem with that.

    When we go out into the world, we represent each other and our family. I want to feel proud about the man who respresents me and vice versa.
  • Werner1950
    Werner1950 Posts: 38 Member
    What was that saying? You don't go chasing clunkers in the street when you have a cadillac in the garage.

    Of course "everybody does it" and that is the same argument that your kids use on you. That is no argument at all. And just because it is a natural inclination in us to do so, does not mean that restraining ourselves is the better part of wisdom, and the more nobler route to go.
  • TessaZx
    TessaZx Posts: 23 Member
    My boyfriend is 19, I'm 18. I have no interest in strip clubs.

    If he went, I would feel like he is cheating.

    I am not stupid, i know guys look at other girls even while dating.

    But a strip club!?

    And yeah. totally get the "work harder" feeling... feels like you don't measure up enough so he goes to a bar to see the "perfect" girls. This is all my thoughts spilling, I'm not saying you're not good enough.

    ~hugs~

    I would tell him how it makes you feel... but I don't think he will agree or understand. Who knows!

    If I was married, I would consider a strip club off limits... I don't give a rip if I sound old fashioned.

    Totally agree!
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    I think you should be completely honest about how you feel.
    You might not win 'the coolest girlfriend' award, but if it really bothers you then nothing else matters.

    I would not want my boyfriend going to strip club (Unless it's his bachelor party...I'm not totally heartless.)
    I would also not go to strip club...not because of jealousy...I just think they're kinda gross.

    Let me get back to the point...
    Open and honest communication.
    If it bothers you, you should be able to talk to him about it, explain yourself, and you can hear his reply.
    Then you guys can make a choice...

Categories