Mental Picture v. Actual Picture

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mcn79
mcn79 Posts: 112 Member
in Motivation and Support
We had a 60th birthday party for my parents 10 days ago, as my mom turned 60 in mid-September and my stepfather is turning 60 next week. My sister and I wanted to surprise them with a photographer, since we've never had a family photo with both of our parents and all five of us (my sister and I, two stepsisters and a stepbrother). We got a "sneak peek" of photos on Facebook yesterday and I'm really disappointed in how I look. I thought I'd look as thin as I feel and I don't...in fact, I don't feel like I look that much thinner than I did 22.2 lbs ago, which I know IS NOT true.

I know that my perception of how I look can be pretty screwy.... How do I (you, us) handle it when the photos don't look the same as the girl in the mirror does? I am confident when it comes to the mirror and being "inside my head," but photos throw me for a loop every time.
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Replies

  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
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    I have the same problem and I am down nearly 50 pounds. I feel great in my cute outfits now and then I'll see a pic and it's like "WHAT???!!!". I think we are just to hard on ourselves when it comes to pics. The people in my life can't stop telling me how great I look now, so I'll just try to trust them! I'm sure you're hearing the same from your loved ones - so just believe it :)
  • Bullittgal
    Bullittgal Posts: 5
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    I feel your pain on this topic. Try comparing a picture of yourself 22.2 lbs ago with the new ones. You *will* see a difference. And congratulations on FEELING better and feeling thinner!! That, my friend, is a significant win! Keep up the good work, you will be happy with the results.
  • wapan
    wapan Posts: 219 Member
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    my first instinct with most body shot pictures and ALWAYS with video is disgust. But that's first instinct. Give it a few days, then look again. You'll probably be surprised at how your opinion will change. I think our eyes need to adjust between the perfection we see in magazines on a daily basis and the reality of how people look in real life.
  • lesita75
    lesita75 Posts: 379 Member
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    I feel your pain on this topic. Try comparing a picture of yourself 22.2 lbs ago with the new ones. You *will* see a difference. And congratulations on FEELING better and feeling thinner!! That, my friend, is a significant win! Keep up the good work, you will be happy with the results.

    ^^This
  • bhfood
    bhfood Posts: 77
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    I agree with the others. camera adds 5 or 10 lbs I've heard. IT DOESN"T MATTER. You are what matters. Give yourself the kudos, the atta girls, the I'm doing it's. Look at how far you've come, not how far you have to go or what a stupid picture looks like. God made you and He doesn't make any junk!
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    I struggle with this.... A LOT! Our brains and bodies do not loose weight at the same time, that's for sure. In my head, I am still a size 16. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror in a store, or a reflection in a window and go WOW when I see, when I'm not really looking, how small I've gotten. A friend of mine mailed me a pair of jeans last week and I took them out of the package and said there is no... flipping... way I can fit into these, they're TINY. And guess what? They went right on.
    Loosing weight really does a number on your head, no one really talks about that though. I'm not sure how long it takes our heads to catch up with our bodies but I'm sure it takes some time.
  • Sirxx99
    Sirxx99 Posts: 43
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    It never stops.... I still feel like a huge guy at times and the only time I remember I lost weight is when im buying clothes. What my mind remembers and what other people see are 2 different things as well.

    I figure as long as I feel good about myself and im working hard to get where I want to be then it is just "a work in progress". I do keep progress pictures though so that i can see how I am changing to remind myself why I do what I am doing. When I look at the older pics I feel better about my present looks..
  • twonkieone
    twonkieone Posts: 132
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    i'm like that when i'm at the gym --- always feel huge compared to everyone else and see that when i look in the mirror. but i'm down from a size 14 to a size 8 -- so why do i still see myself as larger than everyone else? it's like your mind plays tricks on you --- when i'm standing alone i feel great but put me beside anyone and i'm instantly twice as big as them. feel your pain sister --- did find a site where you can search for people w/ the same size/weight/height as you -- was interesting to see all the shapes my body measurements can come in!
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    What my mind remembers and what other people see are 2 different things as well.


    I like that, well said.
  • woodsygirl
    woodsygirl Posts: 354 Member
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    It probably has some evolutionary reason, we tend to remember how we saw things versus actually seeing them. I like to think my mind is just trying to take a short-cut. ;)

    I do feel the same way, it's one of the reasons I have a hard time posting avatars. I think I look good, then I look at the photo and think, wow... do I really look that OLD?! I saw a video of myself at something earlier this year and I was shocked at how bad I looked, I just tell myself that looks shouldn't matter (but yes, it's hard to actually convince myself of that).
  • Alpina483
    Alpina483 Posts: 246 Member
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    I'm only 3 kg down and already feel like a princess. Nobody notices yet though, except for closest family. That's how it works )) I'm fine with that. People actually tend to compare you to their mental image of you rather than 'see', so it always takes longer. And that's OK, too )
  • khelm31
    khelm31 Posts: 51 Member
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    This very thing is one of my big problems. Having only been overweight as an adult, I often picture myself a lot thinner in my head than I appear in photos or even the mirror. Sometimes, even when I'm feeling confident, thinking I look one way-I then see the pictures and am like WHAT??? That's what I looked like. Here lately I've really started second guessing that picture in my head. It's like perhaps if I realized that picture was not accurate a long time ago, perhaps I would have felt the urgency more before I got to weight I am now.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    That happened with what used to be my favorite skirt. I thought it was awesome. My daughter said it looked like a sack and added pounds. Then I saw a picture of me in tha skirt. Guess what? It looked like a sack and added pounds, which - being about 205 at the time - I most definitely did not need.

    On the other hand, I've also seen a picture taken on a day I felt wretched about myself but actually looked kind of pretty.
  • BeautyCrys
    BeautyCrys Posts: 209 Member
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    First off ((HUGS)) and I'm SO SO SO happy that you have lost 22 lbs, because I know how hard it is to loose 22 pounds!!!! Pictures SUCK!!! They always make you look bigger then what you are, and you know this. Please don't be disappointed. You should feel healthier which in fact you do. you have to be patient. It took me over a year to loose 55 pounds, and I still look at pictures and think "dude, I'm fat" but I just have to remind myself and compare photos....Once you compare you WILL see a differance. Cheer up and know that you are feeling better and the picture might not show ur loss, but your clothes and health do :))))
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    It seems like this is extremely common. Most people don't realize how much they weighed until they've lost a significant amount of their weight. I'm half way to my goal (which will be around the middle of a 'healthy' BMI) and I still feel exactly as I did when I started. My old clothes don't fit, but I still feel like I look the same regardless.

    I've still been avoiding pictures for this reason though. It's too demotivating and I'm not ready to give up.
  • pithole
    pithole Posts: 75 Member
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    I have never gotten used to it.

    I just have to believe the scale and the tags on my clothes.

    Also, way to lose 22 lbs.
  • wizbeth1218
    wizbeth1218 Posts: 358 Member
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    I know that my perception of how I look can be pretty screwy.... How do I (you, us) handle it when the photos don't look the same as the girl in the mirror does? I am confident when it comes to the mirror and being "inside my head," but photos throw me for a loop every time.

    First of all, congratulations on your weight loss! That is terrific! You deserve heaps of praise for your hard work and dedication.

    Secondly, you are absolutely right: there is often a big disconnect between the girl in our heads and the girl in the mirror/photo. Just look at those folks who are wearing spandex and belly shirts when they really shouldn't. Obviously what they see in the mirror is different from what we see! ;)

    In all seriousness, what we see in the mirror/photo is a snapshot of a single split-second in time. The way that you feel about yourself on a day-to-day basis, and the way that your changed lifestyle is evident to the people around you, are much, much, much better indicators of your progress.

    And lastly... I happen to be a professional photographer and I like to say I specialize in flattering posing and angles. Call me. ;)

    Congrats again!
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel....we are our toughest critics.
  • Pinkigloopyxie
    Pinkigloopyxie Posts: 231
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    I liked weighing myself several times a day to see the progression of food/water intake and the weight you lose while sleeping. I've been stuck at 227 all week though without the accustomed few ounces of weight loss every morning. I know I ate badly this week and have been er... doing #2 less which is all really frustrating. I can't stand being at this weight for even another month.

    I had a coat that wouldn't button, they were actually four inches apart at the beginning, and it took two years to have it fit. I have a new goal coat now, that has four inches between the button and hole but I do not want to have to wait two more years to wear it. (It's a small)

    I would literally rather jump off a bridge. I need to find new recipes because all the food I eat is now boring.
  • SapphireSmoke
    SapphireSmoke Posts: 13 Member
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    Oh my god I thought that happened to just me. I always hear people say that they think they're fatter than they are, but I always think I'm skinnier than I am! Then the pictures come around and I want to photoshop the hell out of them :/

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