Experienced People Please Help
invisibubble
Posts: 662 Member
I'll try and make this as succinct as possible.
I am:
26, female, 5'5.5", obese all through life, gone from almost 300lbs to 143lbs.
Sedentary as far as work is concerned, agoraphobic and have major image issues.
I aim for 120-200 minutes (each) of cardio and strength a week.
Cardio tends to be a cross trainer, I average 160-170 AHR on there per session, (sometimes doing HIIT, sometimes not)
Strength all I have is bodyweight and adjustable 20kg dumbbells, I do chest flys, presses, knee push-ups (I struggle) tricep dips and kickbacks, bent over rows, deadlifts, lunges, squats, upright rows, various crunches, sometimes bicep exercises.
My food diary is set to macros of 40/30/30, but I tend to hit more like 45/30/25. I set my diary to my rounded-down moderate TDEE because calculating each workout does my brain in. It's set to 2200, and I tend to eat at 300 calories below that (although I have been eating at TDEE for a week now).
Basically, I look like this:
(I know, sorry, but to get proper advice it has to be a true photo, sorry, and sorry for the self-shot, was too embarrassed)
And I do not wish to look like Zoidberg without his shell. Don't get me wrong, it's better than being obese again, and I look better than I did a year ago believe it or not, but I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, and partially that's my mental illnesses and junk but I think some of it's true.
So, other than "kill yourself", what would you suggest I change/implement/do?
Note: I lost weight VERY gradually over the last 7 or 8 years, only got really educated over the last year.
I am:
26, female, 5'5.5", obese all through life, gone from almost 300lbs to 143lbs.
Sedentary as far as work is concerned, agoraphobic and have major image issues.
I aim for 120-200 minutes (each) of cardio and strength a week.
Cardio tends to be a cross trainer, I average 160-170 AHR on there per session, (sometimes doing HIIT, sometimes not)
Strength all I have is bodyweight and adjustable 20kg dumbbells, I do chest flys, presses, knee push-ups (I struggle) tricep dips and kickbacks, bent over rows, deadlifts, lunges, squats, upright rows, various crunches, sometimes bicep exercises.
My food diary is set to macros of 40/30/30, but I tend to hit more like 45/30/25. I set my diary to my rounded-down moderate TDEE because calculating each workout does my brain in. It's set to 2200, and I tend to eat at 300 calories below that (although I have been eating at TDEE for a week now).
Basically, I look like this:
(I know, sorry, but to get proper advice it has to be a true photo, sorry, and sorry for the self-shot, was too embarrassed)And I do not wish to look like Zoidberg without his shell. Don't get me wrong, it's better than being obese again, and I look better than I did a year ago believe it or not, but I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, and partially that's my mental illnesses and junk but I think some of it's true.
So, other than "kill yourself", what would you suggest I change/implement/do?
Note: I lost weight VERY gradually over the last 7 or 8 years, only got really educated over the last year.
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Replies
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i assume you're requesting help on your extra skin.
TIME is your friend. continue to tone your muscles and eat healthy and over time, it should go away. you're young. your skin is elastic. just give your body time to accomplish that change.
you could try increasing your cardio workouts so that you burn some more fat. there was a thread on here about how long distance runners getting their body fat % low can dramatically firm up sagging skin.
also, i don't think you're mentally ill. you just need to get more self-confidence. try to interact more socially to get comfortable with it. the insecurities you have about yourself that you are SURE are visible to everyone else, really aren't. if that's why you are shying away from people, try speaking to a stranger every day. just a short friendly conversation with somebody. it can be as simple as chatting about the weather, or whatever. just a couple of sentences and a smile. you'll get a smile back. that will improve your mood and confidence.0 -
I have the same issue. I lost 100 pounds and am pretty toned, but have extra skin in my breast area and over my abs. Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do. Extra weight takes its toll on the skin. Keep toning, although areas of your body may not show it, that will keep you healthy and strong.0
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WiinerVictorious: Thanks for the advice body wise. However, there's more to my diagnoses than low self esteem. Please don't assume. I have multiple issues that require different treatments. If it was as simple as shyness I'd not have had over a decade of medications, therapy and episodes. It's quite insulting to presume otherwise.0
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I have the same issue. I lost 100 pounds and am pretty toned, but have extra skin in my breast area and over my abs. Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do. Extra weight takes its toll on the skin. Keep toning, although areas of your body may not show it, that will keep you healthy and strong.
Thanks for your help.
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Congratulations on the amazing weight loss and transformation!
It sounds like you are doing a great job with eating and exercise.
I don't have much advice to except keep doing what you are doing and see how you look in another year or so.
A good friend of mine lost about 150 lbs and her doctor told her to maintain her new healthy weight for a year, then come back to talk about surgery, if necessary. She did eventually end up having surgery to remove quite a bit of excess skin.
Again, congrats on the progress you have made.0 -
WiinerVictorious: Thanks for the advice body wise. However, there's more to my diagnoses than low self esteem. Please don't assume. I have multiple issues that require different treatments. If it was as simple as shyness I'd not have had over a decade of medications, therapy and episodes. It's quite insulting to presume otherwise.
ok, if you say you are then i believe you. good luck.0 -
While you are working on the skin you can always grab some shape wear to hold things in place. That will keep the tummy from flooping around and will keep everything looking tight under your clothes I never leave the house without mine and it has made a huge difference in my confidence too
Good luck on whatever you try. 0 -
you are agoraphobic? do you ever leave your home? if so, how far and where do you go?0
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Congratulations! You have done amazing! I haven't lost enough yet to be able to give any advise. Just wanted you to know that you should hold your head high! You are amazing!0
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Looks like there's not much I can do other than the stuff I'm already doing, I guess. Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support.
RE the agoraphobia: why?0 -
we had a neighbor that didn't leave her home for more than 30 years. i never saw her because she wouldn't even go outside. i would hate to think of someone living that way.0
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I'm okay to go certain places with my carer or my mum. Never alone. It's stressful and sometimes I can't do it on certain days and there are limits to where I can go and how much I can handle, but I'm not housebound any more. I found a tumour in my breast a couple years ago when I whilst into a year long episode where I couldn't be left on my own or step outside my door at all, and it was go get biopsied or risk growing a tumour. I'm thankful for my tumour now!0
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it's good that you can get out some. just keep working on it.
good luck to you.0 -
Am doing. I'm actually on a list for a very extensive personal therapy thing (the agoraphobia is just a very small part of it though) so hopefully I'll be ready for that.
And thanks.0 -
A difficult journey for you & congratulations on getting so far!!
I too have a lot of lose skin & wish it would shrink. Not sure if it will but my way of looking at it is to celebrate that it is not still full of fat! As a counsellor I would recommend any of that kind of help you can get but don't forget to celebrate how far you have come.......0 -
Definitely start including more weight training because it looks like you lost a good amount of fat, but you do need to include strength training to tighten the skin.0
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There is nothing that is going to get rid of that extra skin besides surgery. I was 220lbs I am now 158 I had extra skin and the dr told me nothing but surgery will get rid of it...0
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Heavy weight lifting. I've seen women who've lost 100+ pounds tighten up loose skin to an amazing degree.
I understand that you can't really go to a gym -- but if you could save up over a period of time to have a home gym with a barbell, plates, and power cage installed --and maybe work with a personal trainer at home?
Again, I know it's expensive, but if you save over time perhaps? Other than surgery, heavy lifting is what I've seen other women get the best results with.0 -
As far as the skin stuff goes, I have heard that it can take two years or more for skin to realize there's not fat under it anymore. I also read that it's good to keep toning the muscles underneath, and that will help the skin tighten. Some say drinking LOTS of water and using lotion often are good, too - it helps keep your skin elastic.
Edited to add: I've heard from someone who got the surgery that in some cases, the surgery can be a little risky because it can cause blood clots sometimes? I don't know, I have a total fear of doctors/surgery/etc. so I'd try everything else first before getting the surgery. Best of luck!0 -
A friend of mine who's only 26 yrs old just lost 242 lbs in 18 months. Incredible!!! Right?! He's had to deal with the issue your facing I'd be more than happy to find out for you or even introduce you to him so you can get all the answers your looking for. As you know with that kind of weight loss he's had to deal with the loose skin issue.
As far as I know he did without surgery and he worked out at home.
Message me.
Patrick0 -
WiinerVictorious: Thanks for the advice body wise. However, there's more to my diagnoses than low self esteem. Please don't assume. I have multiple issues that require different treatments. If it was as simple as shyness I'd not have had over a decade of medications, therapy and episodes. It's quite insulting to presume otherwise.
Winervictorious gave you a lovely supportive answer based on your vague original post. Honesly...I though your post was regarding the excess skin too. And you turned around and lashed out at her. I know you were up front with your mental illness issues and I wish you well but you might want to add rudeness to that list issues.0 -
Firstly, thank you everyone for the advice. I've got advice saying more strength, others saying more cardio :laugh: I guess I'll figure it. I'm terrified of surgery, so that's out.
I'd love a huge home gym on day. I got a pokey 1 bed flat though, so my elliptical and weights are a stretch for now!
I'll message a couple of you when I can think better.
Lizziebeth, first of all, I posted not for mental help, but felt the need to mention it as it's pertinent to how I live my life, and therefore what kind of advice is needed. Like "go to a gym" would be wasted. And that I'm sensitive and have issues with body image. I'm terribly sorry I didn't give my whole mental history. There was a lot on my profile page, but I've removed most of the saga that was there as evidently it mattered none to people's judgements.
Secondly, I didn't "lash" at all. I simply asked him not to make assumptions, as it's insulting. Which it was. And is. Taking someone's mental struggles and telling them it's a simple matter of "just" doing one thing or another is incredibly insulting to me and people like me, and I shouldn't have to divulge a load of stuff to prevent people from making those assumptions. I stated I have mental issues and that should suffice.
Thirdly, I asked what I can do to fix my body. I figured the image would be sufficient. Evidently not, and that's my bad.
Now, kindly stop butting into something you're not involved in. I was not out of line - simply truthful and succinct as to the fact he was genuinely hurtful to my efforts and struggles by judging based on a paragraph of what I felt only necessary to divulge.
Thanks to all this, I've divulged a lot more than I'd have liked. Thanks for that.
Just leave it, for heaven's sake, there was no need for that comment! It was sorted!0 -
I'm okay to go certain places with my carer or my mum. Never alone. It's stressful and sometimes I can't do it on certain days and there are limits to where I can go and how much I can handle, but I'm not housebound any more. I found a tumour in my breast a couple years ago when I whilst into a year long episode where I couldn't be left on my own or step outside my door at all, and it was go get biopsied or risk growing a tumour. I'm thankful for my tumour now!
i think we have alot more in common then i thought before 0 -
WiinerVictorious: Thanks for the advice body wise. However, there's more to my diagnoses than low self esteem. Please don't assume. I have multiple issues that require different treatments. If it was as simple as shyness I'd not have had over a decade of medications, therapy and episodes. It's quite insulting to presume otherwise.
Winervictorious gave you a lovely supportive answer based on your vague original post. Honesly...I though your post was regarding the excess skin too. And you turned around and lashed out at her. I know you were up front with your mental illness issues and I wish you well but you might want to add rudeness to that list issues.
hahaha. Seems some people cant take a bit of cheekiness dont worry hun i like that personality trait of yours! 0 -
While you are working on the skin you can always grab some shape wear to hold things in place. That will keep the tummy from flooping around and will keep everything looking tight under your clothes I never leave the house without mine and it has made a huge difference in my confidence too Good luck on whatever you try.
I do the same... alway wear it. Just a little boy short that goes up over my belly button, purchased at costco 2 for $16 or something like that. I originally purchaed for running I love running but can not stand the belly or bum jiggle. So I wear to stop the jiggle and they were so comfortable I wear them all the time. And feel naked without them now.
Also my husband thinks it may help the skin pull it self back in, his uncle wore a elasiticied elbow band because he was a trucker and skin on his elbow was saggy so he wore a brace to put it back into place.... seems to have helped. Kind of like a compression garment.
hth0 -
You've done an amazing job, so take it from the rest of us - you're doing everything right!
Keep doing what you've been doing, focus on toning up your muscles to help pull a little of the skin into a proper alignment. But, as others have stated - you can only do so much by yourself. If you're wanting the body you've EARNED (yes, you've earned it through hard work)... you're going to need cosmetic surgery to remove excess skin, etc.
Keep in mind that if you take that route, the healthier you are at the time, the better your results will be and the shorter healing time. (I've had a tummy tuck and an arm lift, so trust me on this!)
But no matter if you choose to get rid of the extra skin or not, you look BEAUTIFUL. Don't let any body dysmorphia make you think otherwise... it's a really tough road to go down by yourself, but that's what we're here for. Support in any way we can offer!0 -
you have done so so well to get where you are, keep up the great work and if you are still not achieving what you would like, may I suggest a surgeon. but girl you should be very proud.0
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NoahandPresleysMom - I'm sorry you have issues with that stuff as well
I honestly didn't think I was being at all rude or cheeky... I was pointing out my offended feelings in a very calm and direct manner, I thought...
I have been thinking about a compression thing actually. Sometimes I wear lycra long sleeved tees and they do make me look better.
I do worry that I'm doing wrong now, because it's only in the last 8 months or so I've discovered things like TDEE, macros and weight training, for instance. I knew the basics and stuff before, but I guess... I guess I think now I know stuff I'm more likely to feck it up?
Surgery is not an option for me. One is money, but two is any hospital thing freaks me. An impacted wisdom tooth surgery took its' toll on me. I know it sounds stupid but I can't be left alone and I freak myself out with wounds. When I was a kid I had a massive birthmark removal (and tonsilectomy at the same time) on my arm, they didn't sew it right and the wound popped open. I had to keep dressing a sticky, open wound myself without lubricant or anything to keep it sticking. I think that's why, you know?
Sorry, I'm rambling.
I think I just want to make sure I'm doing all I can to help my body, and doing nothing to set myself back at all.0 -
Oh yes and I meant to say thank you for all the support and kindness, it really does mean something. Sorry I went off on a tangent and forgot to say it lol0
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that is okay, that is what we are here for, you asked and we replied, stay strong.0
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