Mental Picture v. Actual Picture

Options
2

Replies

  • amontes410
    amontes410 Posts: 19
    Options
    I am so there with you….. my biggest disappointment is when i take a picture with others and they say…”oh you look good in this picture” then I look at the same picture and all I can think is “oh my, this is what I look like when I take a good picture ---man I do not want to see me in a bad picture then”. I don’t understand how is it that when I am getting ready I have a little bit of confidence on how I look but once you/they snap that picture I do not see the same person that was getting ready earlier that day.
  • enewsome2
    enewsome2 Posts: 355 Member
    Options
    Congrats on your weight loss, first of all!
    I struggle with this.... A LOT! Our brains and bodies do not loose weight at the same time, that's for sure. In my head, I am still a size 16. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror in a store, or a reflection in a window and go WOW when I see, when I'm not really looking, how small I've gotten. A friend of mine mailed me a pair of jeans last week and I took them out of the package and said there is no... flipping... way I can fit into these, they're TINY. And guess what? They went right on.
    Loosing weight really does a number on your head, no one really talks about that though. I'm not sure how long it takes our heads to catch up with our bodies but I'm sure it takes some time.

    I think this is so true. It's so weird because some days I feel so confident, and some days I feel like a busted can of biscuits. If I get even a little bloated, or I'm in a bad mood because of something else, I will still start to get really self-conscious about my body. I have gone from a 14 to a 4 (since April) and I still struggle with body image all the time.

    It is totally a mental thing. Exercising and eating healthy do not change problems in our own minds. My advice is to accept that you're having the feelings, but don't let them get you discouraged! These things take time.
  • Colleen118
    Colleen118 Posts: 491 Member
    Options
    We had a 60th birthday party for my parents 10 days ago, as my mom turned 60 in mid-September and my stepfather is turning 60 next week. My sister and I wanted to surprise them with a photographer, since we've never had a family photo with both of our parents and all five of us (my sister and I, two stepsisters and a stepbrother). We got a "sneak peek" of photos on Facebook yesterday and I'm really disappointed in how I look. I thought I'd look as thin as I feel and I don't...in fact, I don't feel like I look that much thinner than I did 22.2 lbs ago, which I know IS NOT true.

    I know that my perception of how I look can be pretty screwy.... How do I (you, us) handle it when the photos don't look the same as the girl in the mirror does? I am confident when it comes to the mirror and being "inside my head," but photos throw me for a loop every time.

    I used to be a photographer and spent many a slow day trying to find the magnifying glass they build into the lens that adds 50lbs to the mid, arm, and face area of all photographic subjects. I was never successful in finding this magnifying glass but I KNOW it is in there! I fel the same way when we did the comparison photo in my profile pic... felt like from (my kids') prom to homecoming I was a completely different person, saw the pics and thought, "what is the point? Not as much difference as I thought."

    Seriously though. We all perceive things differently when we have longer to ponder what we are seeing. So in the mirror we are taking a quick glance with our minimized flab sucked in some and tightening those butt cheeks. We don't think about all that then. But in a photo that's forever, we find every out of place hair... it's the evil way our inner goddess' work to make us keep going...
  • twinkychops
    twinkychops Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    If I go out one evening, thinking I look okay then i see a picture of myself it makes me want to cry! I don't see the big bloater in the picture when I look at myself in the mirror! I blame the camera, it obviously adds pounds and we should ignore it and call it names LOL
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
    Options
    Happens to me all the time. Which is why I have to approve all posts to my timeline. I especially hate seeing the photos after a night in the party bus. :noway:
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Options
    I know what you mean - I still see the scrawny little kid in my head, and often in the mirror. Then sometimes I get a dose of reality and see what I really look like in the mirror.

    Then I see a photo someone took and I'm like - God damn I still look scrawny...I don't know the answer as to which one is the correct image but I do know how annoying it is...
  • msafunk
    msafunk Posts: 163 Member
    Options
    I stopped trusting mirrors after Clueless came out.
  • Sptwoman
    Sptwoman Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    I agree with most of the comments above. We are working on the body and I guess we need to work on the mind as well. Don't let the distortion lead to discouragement. Stay strong. The best is yet to come.
  • jennibee70
    jennibee70 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Options
    It is actually really nice to know that other people have this problem, I thought it was just me! I go out on nights out thinking I'm a curvy hottie, and then I see the photos on facebook and realise I just looked big. On a slightly different subject, a "friend" recently got me to move in a group photo, so that I was between two thin girls "for balance". It may have been true but I like to think my feelings are more important than the aesthetic of a photo.
  • mcn79
    mcn79 Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    Thanks guys. I'm feeling much better about things today... I'm wearing a dress today that I've had for some time and realized just how different it fits...that's a reminder of progress. Screw the photos. :)
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    Options
    I eat the pictures as a meal replacement. :laugh:
  • HornsUT32
    HornsUT32 Posts: 163 Member
    Options
    I have the same issues lately, but the other way around. It's like my eyes still see a 270 pound woman, not 185. I get obsessive about it, I feel guilty about eating and I work out constantly. It is all consuming, the need to look perfect is a dangerous feeling. I look in the mirror and see a slob with imperfections everywhere, and then I see a photo of myself and I don't even recognize the person I see. I tell myself it must have been the angle of the camera, or lighting, or something I was wearing...but I KNOW I am heavier than that.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Options
    my first instinct with most body shot pictures and ALWAYS with video is disgust. But that's first instinct. Give it a few days, then look again. You'll probably be surprised at how your opinion will change. I think our eyes need to adjust between the perfection we see in magazines on a daily basis and the reality of how people look in real life.

    I like the "wait a few days" comment. I had engagement pics taken last month, and even though I had lost over 10 lbs, thought I looked horrible.

    When I went back and looked, I didn't look nearly as fat a I initially thought. The more I looked at them, too, the less atrocious I found them.
  • skymichele
    skymichele Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    The proof is in the pudding, honey. If your clothes fit better or you're not the same dress size, there is a big difference! Plus, the camera adds pounds...always has and always will. The only thing that matters is how you feel and how you are progressing! Keep your head up!
  • sirrah17
    sirrah17 Posts: 26 Member
    Options
    Me too!

    I have no idea what I actually look like. Some days I feel like a huge whale and think it is the only thing people see about me. Some days I look in the mirror and think I am pretty cute even if I am overweight. Some days I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window and don't recognize the body.

    I actually ask my husband all the time if I compare to another woman we see who I think might be my size. My husband has stopped responding to these requests, and I get why. He doesn't want me to compare myself to other women, and he pointed out that another woman's height, body shape, demeanor, clothing choices, etc make it really difficult to find someone who I am very similar too in size and shape.

    I try every day to remember what my very, very thin friend told me years ago. I am the only one thinking about how I look, how I fit in, how I compare to others. No one else is doing that on my behalf because they are too busy worrying about themselves.
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    Options
    Ooh yeah I don't know but know you're not alone. I always hate me in pictures unless I take them.
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    Options
    I agree with the others. camera adds 5 or 10 lbs I've heard. IT DOESN"T MATTER. You are what matters. Give yourself the kudos, the atta girls, the I'm doing it's. Look at how far you've come, not how far you have to go or what a stupid picture looks like. God made you and He doesn't make any junk!

    weird thing is that when u look at the picture, the other ppl in the picture they look normal, as you see them in real life.. the camera only plots against you making you win 5 pounds :grumble:
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Options
    We had a 60th birthday party for my parents 10 days ago, as my mom turned 60 in mid-September and my stepfather is turning 60 next week. My sister and I wanted to surprise them with a photographer, since we've never had a family photo with both of our parents and all five of us (my sister and I, two stepsisters and a stepbrother). We got a "sneak peek" of photos on Facebook yesterday and I'm really disappointed in how I look. I thought I'd look as thin as I feel and I don't...in fact, I don't feel like I look that much thinner than I did 22.2 lbs ago, which I know IS NOT true.

    I know that my perception of how I look can be pretty screwy.... How do I (you, us) handle it when the photos don't look the same as the girl in the mirror does? I am confident when it comes to the mirror and being "inside my head," but photos throw me for a loop every time.

    You should remember that photos make you 2 dimensional, so unless you stand at the right angles, it can comeout pretty screwy. Try standing at at 45 degree angle, instead of facing the camera head on next time. Bend your front knee even a little while keeping the back one straight, and make sure to lift your chin a little higher than feels natural. These will all show contours that get flattened out in most photos.
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
    Options
    For some reason, when I look in the mirror I see someone who isn't slim, but definitely isn't overweight. Later that day, someone snaps a picture.

    BAM!

    "I looked like that?!" (and then wanting to have whoever has the picture to trash it)

    It throws me for a loop because every other girl I know of only sees something worse in the mirror, but is actually gorgeous. Though some days I can't find a thing that doesn't make me look like a balloon, even though three days ago I thought it was the most slimming thing ever. My brain is definitely receiving some mixed up signals from my eyes.
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
    Options
    It is actually really nice to know that other people have this problem, I thought it was just me! I go out on nights out thinking I'm a curvy hottie, and then I see the photos on facebook and realise I just looked big. On a slightly different subject, a "friend" recently got me to move in a group photo, so that I was between two thin girls "for balance". It may have been true but I like to think my feelings are more important than the aesthetic of a photo.

    :noway:

    That's crap. I would've told her to shove it (and probably not that nicely)....your feelings definitely are more important than how a photo looks. Especially if she is a "friend".

    Is she aspiring to be a photographer? If no, then she really needs to zip 'er lip. If yes, then she needs to work on her communication skills. :grumble:

Categories