NO, I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking!

dcummings80
dcummings80 Posts: 22
in Motivation and Support
Today I got a real kick in the pants when a guy at work asked me if I'm pregnant. I responded with, "No, I'm not pregnant and are you trying to get me to punch you in the face?" Not very professional, but its what came out. Anyway, I suppose its kind of a mixed blessing b/c it gave me the opportunity to step back and see how far off track I've gotten and the resolve to re-calibrate and move forward. Still, it wasn't very fun though. :embarassed:
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Replies

  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    Ugh.. I'm sorry. Not sure why anyone feels that it's okay to ask if they aren't 100% sure that you are.. and by 100% sure I mean they see the baby crowning.

    My mom passed away about 6 weeks ago, we are at the funeral doing the receiving line. It's my dad, then my sister, then me. One lady stopped to talk with my sister and said.. "Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant again" and my sister had to respond... "Ummm, no I'm not". So not only are we mourning the loss of our mom, someone implies my sister looks pregnant. I almost bit my tongue off trying to keep from saying something I would regret to this lady.
  • dcummings80
    dcummings80 Posts: 22
    Seriously, I just wonder what goes through some people's minds! Your poor sister!
  • Biomisty
    Biomisty Posts: 41 Member
    I hope it is atleast half as akward for those people as it is the one that is not in fact pregnant!!
  • jellybeanmusic
    jellybeanmusic Posts: 161 Member
    I've been asked this a few times, it's just my shape, even if I was skinny I'd still have a sticky out belly. Still makes me feel disgusting though!
  • mamabgetsfit
    mamabgetsfit Posts: 1 Member
    You aren't alone and it's repulsive that people have no tact and make insensitive remarks like that. good for you for letting him have it! I can't count how many times people ask me (where I carry most of my weight) and most of the time I end up crying rather than getting angry. You are right though to make that the catalyst for change. I'm trying to do the same. It's not an easy road, but I'm trying. Good luck to you!
  • dcummings80
    dcummings80 Posts: 22
    Thanks everybody!
  • needamulligan
    needamulligan Posts: 558 Member
    I applaud your reply! I had this happen to me twice...sort of .... and I wish I had taken your approach! I got that question, but also, "I couldn't tell that you're pregnant." at 7 months!
  • rhvandan
    rhvandan Posts: 185
    IMO, I could have a head popping out of my girly bits and it would STILL be rude to ask outright if I were pregnant. NEVER. NEVER ask! If a lady wants you to know what's going on in her uterus she will invite you in... Otherwise... I should have every right to ask how a man's johnson was hanging, or if another gals breasts were feeling ok today...

    What a strange world we would live in..

    To random stranger #1 "Hey, how's that liver doing?..."
    To my grocery bagger "Hey, your spleen is looking great today, what are you doing?"
    To the bus driver "My, what a nice toe you have... take care of that thing.. Was it natural?"

    Sheesh. Peoples..
  • quietasariot
    quietasariot Posts: 198 Member
    I was once asked by a man with a larger beer belly than my flabby belly (which seriously wasn't all that big...), if I was pregnant.
    I just shook my head and said, "Uh no but thanks for asking!" and walked away.
    People are seriously so insensitive.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    I thank the people of this site who have mentioned that this is a problem! I actually almost asked a girl I hadn't seen in like 10 years when her baby was due. Thank goodness I managed to shut my mouth and listen instead, it terns out she had a baby 5 months ago! Learned my lesson! Glad I didn't hurt anyone's feelings! That would have been awkward...

    Sorry that you had to go through this!
  • Stenobun
    Stenobun Posts: 166 Member
    People are so *%^$ing stupid. A woman my husband works with received an email from a coworker who had lap band surgery. She was asking certain selected people, including my husband's friend, if they wanted to buy her old size 22-24 clothes. She's a size 14 and was totally mortified. How dumb can people get?
  • Stenobun
    Stenobun Posts: 166 Member
    My mom passed away about 6 weeks ago, we are at the funeral doing the receiving line. It's my dad, then my sister, then me. One lady stopped to talk with my sister and said.. "Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant again" and my sister had to respond... "Ummm, no I'm not". So not only are we mourning the loss of our mom, someone implies my sister looks pregnant. I almost bit my tongue off trying to keep from saying something I would regret to this lady.

    OMG that's like a nightmare on top of a nightmare
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
    I once congratulated a girl that seemed obviously pregnant… she said she wasn't… a few seconds passed and she busted up laughing, because she was pregnant. Yes, it was awkward for me… I was just aghast!
  • dcummings80
    dcummings80 Posts: 22
    Thanks everybody, you all are amazing! :laugh:
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
    The more weight I lose, the more often I am asked "when are you due?" Or "how far along are you?". It bothered me a lot at first, now I realize how clueless these people are and respond with "5 years ago! Ain't that a b!tch?" Or "about 16 months along! I've lost 60 pounds so far!". The person asking usually looks horrified, embarrassed and shocked. Serves them right ... I always hope I saved another person from such rude questions.

    For the ones who flat out ask me "are you pregnant?" I always respond with "nope! Just fat! Thanks for pointing it out." Ad walk away smiling. I won't let stupidity ruin my day.
  • summerfool
    summerfool Posts: 72 Member
    I've had the same thing happen to me and it really takes a stab at your self esteem. As much as the comment might have stung I'm trying real hard to not look that way anymore. It gave me more motivation and I know that hard work and determination we can all reach our goals, however lofty they may seem in the present.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I've actually done this before, don't hate me for it, I would have bet the farm that the girl was pregnant as she was only carrying weight and a lot of it on her tummy. Sometimes people make mistakes! Just use it to fuel you in your weight loss!
  • ForTheSmile
    ForTheSmile Posts: 89 Member
    When I was 15, I wore a blousy shirt and an old lady came up and said that when I went into labor, I should call her and she would pray for me. I've never been so touched and insulted at the same time! Now I'm 21 and people ask if my 25-year-old friend is my daughter. I also get called "sir" a lot. So apparently I'm not only fat, but also old and manly. Pffft. More incentive to lose weight, I guess.
  • Rhia55
    Rhia55 Posts: 247
    I've had it happen to me too, because of the baby belly I've never been able to get off. Doctor has told me that no matter how hard I exercise, only surgery will get rid of it. So I could go anorexic and lose 150 lbs and still have people asking me this question. How depressing is that? And it's worse when they ask "When are you due?" The last time someone asked me that I blurted out, "I'm not, but you will be soon, in the emergency room."
  • scowper
    scowper Posts: 13 Member
    this is a question that should NEVER be asked! if someone hasn't volunteered the information that they are pregnant then that's their business. i see men all the time that have impressive round bellies but basic knowledge of biology dictates otherwise, i don't see why anyone should assume it be any different for women
  • bellydancer124
    bellydancer124 Posts: 248
    As Dave Barry (allegedly) said: "You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."
  • deedee303z
    deedee303z Posts: 31
    When I was young and slim and fit (all muscle, no fat or flab)--I would get asked if I was pregnant a lot. I never could figure it out. Now that I'm older than dirt they just stick to asking why not!
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
    I had this happen with a coworker when i first started my nursing job about two years ago. She came up and went "Oh, when is baby coming!" and proceeded to rub my belly. Half mortified I smiled and responded with "No, but weve been trying alot lately, maybe something got pushed up out of place" and proceeded to try and smooth my belly. She walked away mortified and I smiled. Divorced now so dont have that excuse, but man that was worth the look on her face :)
  • cynam
    cynam Posts: 22
    I've been asked this, too. I felt so embarassed! It's a horrible feeling but, I also felt bad for the person who asked me. She was older and was a very nice lady. She had a horrific look on her face and I could tell she felt horrible as well. And, I was bloated that week... :/ I just want you to know, you are not alone. I know it doesn't make you feel better, but we can get through this! Thanks for sharing....
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    Not sure this will make you feel better or not but this happened to my ex-wife. She had a birthday party planned it was the first one for her in many years and the day before her birthday everyone cancalled and she was really hurt so on her birthday I took her out and was trying to cheer her up. We went to build a bear and she built a lamb as we were almost ready to check out...another customer looked at my ex wife and said awe that's a cute lamb for the little baby when are you DUE???? My ex lost it started crying spurted out how her live was crap because all her friends suck and ran out of the store.....
  • gimpygramma
    gimpygramma Posts: 383 Member
    My sister has slim legs and hips and carries all her weight on her abdomen. She has lovely skin and when she was 55 a co-worker asked her if she was pregnant. My sister didn't know how to feel. Should she feel bad because of the way the comment reflected on her weight, or complimented because the person obviously thought she was much younger than she was?
  • rosarenee1
    rosarenee1 Posts: 271 Member
    Oh my, that is the worst! I guess at least it has lit your fire?! Still, I'd be hurt for sure!
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
    You get hugs. You should never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you *KNOW* she is, and even then , it's usually not a good idea.

    :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • Susanthecatwhisperer
    Susanthecatwhisperer Posts: 141 Member
    My coworker did that once (while she was in uniform). She will never do that again, unless she sees a baby coming out. Someone asked me once. I said no, my shirt is puffy. (It wasn't all shirt, but I know how you feel).
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    Hey, if they want to talk about your reproductive state, describe your last period--in great detail--then see who's uncomfortable.

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