Bi-Polar when it comes to GOALS?

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
in Chit-Chat
Do you ever get that feeling where you have a goal but then you second guess it --then switch goals, then go back again, and make yourself crazy with trying to figure out what you REALLY WANT. Or you think you KNOW what you want but you're unsure that you're able to mentally cope with the other things that coincide with arriving at this goal.


SOME EXAMPLES

I want to gain muscle BUT I don't want to gain weight. Well, muscle has weight. So you change goals.

Or...I want to lose fat BUT I don't want to restrict my calories and the few pounds are really not worth being hungry at all.

Or...I want to gain strength/build muscle but I AM A CARDIO JUNKIE and I am undoing my hard work. But I don't want to give it up.


There are many other examples but it makes me crazy that 1 minute I THINK I KNOW WHAT I WANT and the next minute I'm like...WTF DO I WANT?!?!?!?!



**Please don't gang up on me if you find "bi-polar" to be politically incorrect. That is not the intent of this thread and I apologize if I've offended you. **
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Replies

  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
    your post answers the question why doing cardio is stupid in many instances...
  • GermanicKnight
    GermanicKnight Posts: 445
    I am for sure. For example. I keep jogging and it is tearing my knee up. I was told to stop for two weeks and let it heal but I keep jogging. I will stop for a few days and just when it starts feeling better, I jog again.

    VICIOUS CYCLE.
  • DarkAngellEyes
    DarkAngellEyes Posts: 317 Member
    Hahaha - YES! Good thing I have amazing MFP'ers around to talk me off the ledge :wink:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    yes that's me to a T.
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    I know how you feel. And thats why you need long term and short term goals, and you have to look at the big picture.

    everyone wants to be big, strong, and still be ripped.

    they all take time.
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    Unfortunately I don't have that dilemma, just yet anyway. My goal is simple, track calories to ensure I am at a deficit and lose weight. One day I hope to have the concern of wanting to gain weight, I can't imagine that day really, but sure if anything is possible then that must be.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I don't have that feeling, and it doesn't sound too much like bipolar either.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    I don't have that feeling, and it doesn't sound too much like bipolar either.

    okay. really nice input.
  • opaquewhite
    opaquewhite Posts: 58 Member
    Yes I'm the same way! I'm all over the board and research everything to death, so I can't stick to anything because I learn something new and change everything. On top of it all, one day I'll be like "Oh, you are totally fine at this weight!" and The next day I feel so completely depressed with my weight. It's all a big cycle and I haven't really lost weight in a long time. So defeating.
  • LoveLiveLift
    LoveLiveLift Posts: 459 Member
    I'm feeling focused at the moment, but last winter your post described me to a T.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i-hate-being-bi-polar-bipolar-hate-its-totally-awesome-demotivational-posters-1334365450.jpg
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    Yes I'm the same way! I'm all over the board and research everything to death, so I can't stick to anything because I learn something new and change everything. On top of it all, one day I'll be like "Oh, you are totally fine at this weight!" and The next day I feel so completely depressed with my weight. It's all a big cycle and I haven't really lost weight in a long time. So defeating.

    me to a T. like exactly the way I am. research. change goals. look in mirror, hate self. look again, love self. want to lose. fine with weight. AHHHHH.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    You aren't the only one. As secure as I am with my goal, the route to get there has changed a few times. I am rock bottom of normal BMI, and want to gain weight, but only want to gain muscle which I know is quite difficult.

    Then I come up with all sorts of questions like:

    ~Should I bulk then cut? I don't really want to do that because I have a tendency of losing too much weight, and most of it ends up being muscle.

    ~Should I do -10% on non lifting days and +20% on lifting days? Then I realize that some days I end up at 2,500 at maintenance. There's no way I could eat 3,000 and it not be pure junk just to hit that number.

    ~Do I just eat 200-250 over maintenance per day? This is where I am at right now. Not sure if its appropriate or not.
  • pants77
    pants77 Posts: 185 Member
    I have between 40 and 60 more lbs of fat to drop, but I've been lifting semi-seriously for the past 8 months and have been careful to keep my protein intake very high and not drop my cals too low. My weight hasn't changed and my clothes seem to fit about the same, but I can tell I have added some muscle to my chest, back, shoulders, and arms.

    I'm wondering if I need to drop my daily caloric target and focus on burning off the fat, or if I should continue on the very slow burn schedule I am currently on. So those are the two poles I've been pondering lately. I feel like if I kept my current 3-4 day a week lifting regimen in place and dropped my calories, I would get run down pretty quickly.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    hahaha I totally do this. I reasure myself though that either way i'm getting excersise and have achieved a healthier lifstyle than I had before
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
    How does cardio "undo" strength training work? Not accusing OP of being wrong, genuinely curious.
  • JasonDetwiler
    JasonDetwiler Posts: 364 Member
    I think that scales should be removed from these equations. "Losing weight" is such a poor gauge of success in so many cases, especially for attractive females and strong males.

    If you're a strong male, keep working to get stronger and manipulate diet to decrease body fat.

    If you're an attractive female, lift heavy and throw away your scale.

    Lift to look good, not to weigh X lbs.
  • moonglo82
    moonglo82 Posts: 27 Member
    your post answers the question why doing cardio is stupid in many instances...

    Not sure I follow here... why is doing cardio stupid? What about people who are trying to lose weight... isn't cardio the best form of exercise for shedding pounds?
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    How does cardio "undo" strength training work? Not accusing OP of being wrong, genuinely curious.

    cardio burns muscle and fat. it doesn't undo it, but if you want to build lots of muscle and lower body fat percentage, you have to cut back on steady state endurance cardio.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    The goal of "losing weight" can better be summed up in a list of reasons WHY a person wants to lose weight.
    Like
    Smaller measurements
    Better body shape
    More muscle
    A special occasion to look beautiful such as reunion or holiday
    cuter clothing
    more energy
    feeling good
    etc etc etc

    This is why it is soooo much better to focus on how to make progress in the areas listed above.
    Focus on progress, not perfect performance, and always seek to progress every week!
    For example,
    Make a plan to eat out a few times less that week,
    or to weight train 60min 3times that week
    or to drink one less pepsi a day
    and choose a few things to make progress on each week
    There is so much to focus on that will cause you to succeed and become more fit and good-looking and healthy.
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    I'm with you. I am a total cardio junkie. I love my cardio and probably do more than I should. I know I should start lifting, but I just don't want to give up the cardio I enjoy.

    I also know I need to eat more calories, but I still obsess over that low number. Many days my net will be under my BMR, which I know in my head is not helping, but I still fear over eating.

    I think it comes from years and years of being programmed with the wrong information. Old habits die hard.
  • ErB56
    ErB56 Posts: 71 Member
    I swing back and forth between focusing on cardio or weights. Maybe we need to invent the bi-"Polar" HRM, for those who cannot make up their minds . . . .
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    You aren't the only one. As secure as I am with my goal, the route to get there has changed a few times. I am rock bottom of normal BMI, and want to gain weight, but only want to gain muscle which I know is quite difficult.

    Then I come up with all sorts of questions like:

    ~Should I bulk then cut? I don't really want to do that because I have a tendency of losing too much weight, and most of it ends up being muscle.

    ~Should I do -10% on non lifting days and +20% on lifting days? Then I realize that some days I end up at 2,500 at maintenance. There's no way I could eat 3,000 and it not be pure junk just to hit that number.

    ~Do I just eat 200-250 over maintenance per day? This is where I am at right now. Not sure if its appropriate or not.

    200-250 over maintenance is a pretty good route. I'd say a simple 10% above maintenance (i.e. 250 extra calories per day) will give you the most "bang for your buck" to reach your goal.
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
    I know how you feel. And thats why you need long term and short term goals, and you have to look at the big picture.

    everyone wants to be big, strong, and still be ripped.

    they all take time.

    Soo true.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    I think that scales should be removed from these equations. "Losing weight" is such a poor gauge of success in so many cases, especially for attractive females and strong males.

    If you're a strong male, keep working to get stronger and manipulate diet to decrease body fat.

    If you're an attractive female, lift heavy and throw away your scale.

    Lift to look good, not to weigh X lbs.

    well said sir!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I too constantly go back and forth i was doing fine while i was focused on loosing 100 lbs when i reached that goal since then i go back and forth with losing more, how much, if I need to work more and building muscle etc.......
  • spinedocmfp
    spinedocmfp Posts: 109 Member
    I had flipped back and forth on doing a bulk till January. I took forever to get lean, and was worried about putting on fat again, but I was also feeling I had lost too much size. I would bulk for a week, then chicken out. I finally committed in late september. I put on 6 lb super fast, but stuck with it. I have increased 400 or more calories per day, I am heavier, but my waist is maintaining :happy: As I put inches back on my muscles, I feel better and I am glad I stuck with it.
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I have the exact same issues. My goals change. I want to build muscle, I want to bike fast, I want to run fast, I want a six pack, etc.
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    Definately. Im at the point where, I dont have a lot to lose and I want to build more muscle..... then my friend says she just got into a size 0...... So I think its maybe a good idea to lose a couple more pounds, but am I losing muscle too? Wait.... No I dont want to lose any weight because I want to build muscle............... But You HAVE to lose the weight in ORDER to build muscle.......... Ok so am I eating more or less??? Screw it............ I dont look THAT bad?? :drinker:
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    I feel like this thread spurred from a conversation I literally just had.

    At least I know I'm not the only one.
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