Starting to get discouraged...

This is good advice. Open your diary so we can help.

Great advice from Haybales...and do open your diary so we can peek. I joined in September and lost 3.5 the first week (water, I know, but it made me happy!), and I've steadily lost a pound a week since (aside from gaining .3 one week after a girls weekend out of town, so I considered that a victory, haha!). Make sure you are eating enough. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but it seems like so many people are frustrated that they don't lose, and when you look at their diaries, they are so under their calories. I believe in the whole starvation mode theory because I went through it myself, though others discount it.

Stick with it, lower your settings, as advised, and don't give up! Feel free to add me as a friend, too:)

yeah....we weigh in every Monday at the hospital here in Helena. I was on this awful freeze in losing wt. and didn't even want to go. I was the lightest one there but just wanted to feel pretty and look nice in dresses again. I was working out and some times it was 9 hours/wk.....kayaking 5 hours straight, etc. I lost at first and then nothing. Eventually, I realized I was exercising too much and putting on muscle. I pulled back and went into a more realistic exercise routine with Winter coming. I started to lose again....but I definitely know the frustration you feel. I don't have all the answers but 2 things were happening to me besides the muscle gain. I wasn't drinking enough water.....and I wasn't eating enough. I only knew this after I braved introducing myself and opening my diary to some smarter MFP members. They pointed out I wasn't getting enough calories. I am working on eating all day long and drinking more water. Friend me if you want and there are lots of others out there closer to you in age to choose from so go get em girl! Good luck! Jane in Montana

Yup, open your log.

The gym is a great place to find new friends, but don't count on friends to work out. My wife is always like, "maybe I can do this with [name of girl friend]," and they maybe go once, usually never.

If you're serious about looking good for your wedding, please throw away your scale (or at least hide it), begin a strength training program with barbells being the primary element, and only run if you are going to sprint. In six months, pull the scale back out and smile a lot.

No, you will not get all big and bulky. It is physically impossible unless you are a man, eating copious amounts of food, a genetic freak, and/or using anabolic steroids.

Eating back your calories is going to depend on what system you are using. IF you are following MFP then yes you are supposed to eat back (at least half) your calories. If you use a method that already considers your activity (like heybales' "eating for future you") then you only eat back if you do exercise that isn't normal for you.

Either way always make sure that you always eat at least your BMR. You can calculate that at various places like http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ if you do not eat your BMR you will end up stalling or just being super tired and generally sickly.

Just another quick question...am I supposed to eat back the calories burned from any exercise? I guess that is what confuses me. And I know there were a few days where I went waaaaaaay over my calorie intake, but always tried to make up for it the next day. I guess the whole exercise thing confuses me a bit, are we supposed to eat back what we burn off to reach the recommended calorie intake? and this is soooo nice being able to talk to people. I try to exercise when I can, but go to school full time and then work as well so trying to do as much as possible. But any idea on the whole calorie exercise thing?

You'll find people saying yes and no if you look around enough. It can be confusing. It depends on what kind of deficit you're working with and how much you're exercising. I find that I lose fat quicker if I eat at a deficit and do not work out. If I do both, it's extremely difficult for me to net enough calories and my body tends to shut off any losses and holds on to everything it can. So, I try and balance it out. You want to lose the weight and exercise both. But, you have to find a good balance. If you eat 1400 calories per day and then burn 400 working out, your body isn't going to like it at all and you'll notice that the weight loss will slow to a crawl.

Just another quick question...am I supposed to eat back the calories burned from any exercise? I guess that is what confuses me. And I know there were a few days where I went waaaaaaay over my calorie intake, but always tried to make up for it the next day. I guess the whole exercise thing confuses me a bit, are we supposed to eat back what we burn off to reach the recommended calorie intake? and this is soooo nice being able to talk to people. I try to exercise when I can, but go to school full time and then work as well so trying to do as much as possible. But any idea on the whole calorie exercise thing?

During setup you were asked for your goal of exercise time and frequency, but it is NOT included in setting your daily goal.

Your daily goal already has a deficit in it.
To keep that deficit there, if you burn more, through exercise, you therefore eat more.

That is why you see you receive credit and your goal goes up for the day - you still eat to reach your goal.

Or you just made your potentially already too large deficit even bigger.

If exercise is in the evening, you can float some of those extra cal's to the next day. Your body's needs for them don't stop at midnight. Have a bigger breakfast and lunch. At least before your next workout.

First, 1.5 lbs per week is too large of a deficit. The less fat mass you have, the less fat oxidation occurs. Set a weight loss goal of 1 lb per week instead, which is a 500 calorie a day deficit.

Secondly, chronically undereating slows down your resting metabolic rate. Additionally, it causes leptin concentration levels to plummet. Leptin, is your satiety hormone and when it's levels are low, your body will desire more energy in the form of calories yet your signaling mechanism is screwed up so you feel full eating far less. Over time, you'll notice you are eating less and less and less as leptin continues to drop. Not a good thing.

Next, you mention lots of stress in your life. Dieting is a stress. Exercise is a stress. When you assume too large of a deficit, you will elevate cortisol levels which can contribute to abnormal water weight retention. Reduce the stress on your body be reducing the total deficit - eating an appropriate deficit and not over-training.

Lastly, eating late at night does not lead to fat gain - eating above what's needed to maintain weight - ie a calorie surplus - does. In general, meal timing and frequency is irrelevant. By meal frequency, I mean the amount of meals you eat a day. Energy is needed to absorb the food you eat which leads to thermic effect of food. This TEF value is the same - assuming you eat the same calories - if you eat 3 large meals vs 7 smaller meals. Thus there is no metabolic advantage of eating more frequent, smaller meals.

Heybales brings up an important point that dieters need to understand in relation to one's metabolism. The persons who have the greatest success are those whose endocrine system is primed for fat loss - that is, they have been supplying their bodies with enough energy to truly meet their daily energy needs. These people have active metabolisms that will burn the most amount of fat for the longest period of time. In other words, they have not been chronically undereating.

On the other hand, people who have been chronically engaging in calorie restriction will burn out quickly because their endocrine system is not primed for fat loss in their present state due to a depressed resting metabolic rate and impaired leptin signaling.

If you are one of those people, you need to eat back to what your true maintenance calorie needs are and hold that for a while. The duration of maintenance depends on how long you have chronically restricted calories - the longer the restriction, the longer it will take for resting metabolic rate to return to optimal levels. Leptin levels, however, are far more difficult to return to normal levels after chronically undereating for a long period of time. None the less, if this is you, you need to return to maintenance and hold at that until everything bounces back to a more adaptive state.