Need calorie guidance – VERY discouraged

Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

Some people will say you need to eat more. Some people will say you need to eat less. Only you can decide or check with your doctor. But what would make the most sense? Taller people have more room in their calorie budget to go up or down. Shorter people like me have less room and get frustrated with "eat more" because that typically does not work for us. If you are confused about it don't just listen to any of us, do some research and get approval from your doctor, then just do what you need to do and tune the rest of us out.

It really depends on your RMR. If you are short like I am then your RMR is really just above the 1200 limit so you really don't have much room for a calorie deficit and going up is less likely to work. If you are taller you will have a higher RMR and can go up or down and still be in a deficit so you can lose no matter what. All that matters is a calorie deficit. If you are short it can be hard to have a deficit at 1200 or above so your only option is to check with your doctor. I did and he agreed and had me go down.

Exercise is to make your lean body mass pretty, strong, and healthy (especially lifting weights).

A calorie deficit is to lose fat. A calorie budget keeps your fat level where you need to be, either losing fat or maintaining.

Nothing else really matters much.

What is the exact number of calories for you?

We’ve been trying to figure out an exact NUMBER of calories that everyone should be eating, without recognizing that everyone is slightly different. In truth, the calories aren’t the end game. Your body is. So the EXACT amount of Calories that are right for you is the EXACT amount that will allow you to maintain your ideal bodyweight no matter what some calculator or chart says.

In other words, an online calculator might tell you that you need to eat 2,500 calories
per day to maintain your ideal bodyweight. But the only way to know for sure if this is
the right amount for you is to test it out. If you gain weight or can’t lose weight eating
that much, then you know you need to eat less to lose weight no matter how many
calculators and text books say otherwise.

This doesn’t mean your metabolism is broken, it just means the estimate of your needs
was just a bit off.

-John Barban (The Body Centric Calorie Guide from the Venus Index and Adonis Index Manuals)

The Theory of Fat Availability:
•There is a set amount of fat that can be released from a fat cell.
•The more fat you have, the more fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•The less fat you have, the less fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•Towards the end of a transformation, when body fat is extremely low you
may not have enough fat to handle a large caloric deficit anymore.

At the extreme low end, when your body fat cannot ‘keep up’ with the energy deficit
you've imposed on your body, the energy MUST come from SOMEWHERE. This is
when you are at risk of losing lean body mass during dieting (commonly referred to
as ‘starvation mode’). This happens at extremely low levels of body fat, under 6% in
men and 12% in women [Friedl K.E. J Appl Phsiol, 1994].

-Brad Pilon and John Barban (from The Reverse Taper Diet in The Adonis Index and Venus Index manuals)

It's great that you are lifting weights. Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am. Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

If you are a girl you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

You cannot out exercise too many calories. I learned this the hard way and the longer version of what worked for me in case you are interested ===> http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/740340-i-lost-60-lbs-at-age-51-anyone-can-any-workout

My husband agrees with you "whoosh" theory. He told me to keep at it, it will all come together eventually. BUT -- he also tells me that I will bulk -- which I know is not true. So he lost some credibility

Women can only gain maybe a couple pounds a year of muscle. Maybe more if they are just starting out (noob gains) but you will not turn into a female body builder without certain supplements.

I'm really similar to your stats. I'm 131 pounds and 5'4". I've also struggled to see results in the past, but am now really starting to see them. P90X is a great program so I'm surprised you're not seeing results if you're really sticking to it. I looked at your diet and it looks pretty good with a few exceptions. Here are some tips that may help:

- Cut out the carbs after 4pm ish.
- Cut your calories back to around 1500 (which is what the program I'm following recommends)

I'm following Jamie Eason's program which is great (and free - just google for more info). I think it's somewhat similar to P90x. I'm in phase 3 right now which is pretty intense and I am seeing great results. If you were to consider it I would suggest starting in phase 3 since you are already really active. She has you mix it up with low carb and high carb days. I'm just about to start this sequence this week, but have been seeing results even without it.

I hope this helps some! I hate being stuck! I've been there so many times. Just keep moving forward and modify until you find what works for you.

Why cut out carbs after 4? Which time zone? Standard time or Daylight Saving? Does your digestive system forget what it's doing after 4? Absolutely no reason to set ridiculously arbitrary times to eat specific foods. Total calories are total calories, no matter what time you eat them.

The reason trainers suggest cutting carbs after a certain time is because carbs cause higher blood sugar levels. If you are not very active when your blood sugar levels are higher then your body produces insulin to lower the blood sugar. Insulin is a hormone that tells your body to store fat. If you're really active in the evenings, then I suppose eating carbs later wouldn't matter much. It just depends. I workout in the evening, so I usually have berries in my protein shake or a glass of wine.

Insulin does hundreds of different things in your body, telling it to store fat is not one of them. That's a myth perpetuated by the low carb fanatics. Your body is both storing fat and burning fat every second of every day.

Essentially, what happened was people started studying diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is where the body can no longer produce insulin. One of the symptoms of Type 1 is sudden weight loss. So then some fringe researchers jumped to the wild conclusion that insulin must be what causes weight gain, even though the theory (the insulin hypothesis as it came to be known as) has been debunked by mainstream science over and over again.