I binged :(

Keltinator
Keltinator Posts: 265
in Motivation and Support
I've been doing really well lately. My clothes have been getting looser and there's a big difference in my face.

Yesterday I just had the urge to binge. And I told myself, "Well, a couple cookies won't kill me." So I walked down to the supermarket looking for a pack of cookies.

I came back with a 12 pack of chocolate chip cookies and a tray of nanaimo bars! This is why I don't go shopping alone.

So I sat down and just... ate. I went through about half of the stuff I bought, then stopped to do some errands. Then last night I ate the rest before I went to sleep.

I ate until I felt sick. Why was I punishing myself like that? Why do I use food to make myself feel miserable?

And then I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I might throw up (I didn't), and then this morning my throat burned from the stomach acid. I felt so sick that I didn't make it to my classes this morning. Now it's almost noon and my body is exhausted.

I don't want to feel like this ever again. I need to remember how awful this feels and bring it to mind the next time I want to binge...

I know this is just a speed bump. Today I'm on the wagon. Still, I'm disgusted with myself!
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Replies

  • MissKalhan
    MissKalhan Posts: 2,282 Member
    Unforunately it happens, just need to remind yourself that today is another day. I'm super bad when it comes to ice cream, when the urge hits me I can eat a full tub all by my lonesome.
    Hit the gym today and you'll feel better :)
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I sucks. I binge every time I get my period, for about a week and don't realize why I'm doing it until my period comes. It's not what you did yesterday that counts, it's what you learned from it and how you handle it today that will determine your success.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    dang now I want cookies
  • simplebeauty
    simplebeauty Posts: 22 Member
    Don't be disgusted with yourself....I find that going overboard now and then is a reminder of what eating crap feels like....sometimes we get so euphoric from working out and feeling good....and crappy and nutrient void products are everywhere, it's a hard hard thing/habit to break!!

    At least you are back, and hopefully realized you don't want to feel that way (eating until you felt sick)....your body was used to all the nutrient dense foods, that it went into shock.....but it's not the end of the world!!

    :)
  • Rhia55
    Rhia55 Posts: 247
    It's all right. I did yesterday too. At work I ate a chili dog and then when they bought us pizza I ate 4 bloody pieces, not to mention two candy bars and popcorn when I got home. It was bad, and I really felt terrible. I didn't even log it all.

    But that was yesterday. That was then. This is today, this is now, and I can undo the damage. So can you. Do an extra workout, take an extra long walk, cut one item out of your meal today. That's what I am doing.

    It does happen. It will happen. The key is not to let it happen EVERY DAY... and when it does happen, let it motivate you to try harder, not to give up. Don't give up!
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
    I am with friends in Dallas. They eat out three times a day and bought my favorite ice cream because they "love me". I will do the best I can until Friday, but this isn't going to be good. It happens. Remember, it's not a diet. It's a lifestyle.
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
    the sugar hangover... been there before! Isn't it neat that our bodies are getting so accustomed to healthy foods that too much sugar makes us sick? I have the urge to binge every once in a while.. but the memory of the sugar hangover stops me :D
  • MrsSullivan08
    MrsSullivan08 Posts: 274 Member
    Don't worry. I have had several of these days and still have made awesome progress. Just keep picking yourself back up and don't give up. You can do it!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Pretty sure everyone has binged at some point and still lost weight. What matters more is the bigger picture - Your general habits overall. As long as you are able to overcome it, forgive yourself, and accept it, you'll be okay. Lots of people use food when they are bored or depressed or just feeling out of control. Maybe the feeling of being sick from cookies is something you can try to remember if you're feeling the desire to binge eat again?

    When I was losing weight, I knew that if I kept cookies in the house, I would eat all of them. So I kept my pantry free of "trigger foods" until I was in a better place to moderate myself. It made me so much more SANE because I wasn't resisting temptation all the time. Most people here will say "don't deny yourself! Just learn how to moderate!" but it's just not that easy for some of us who binge. Maybe, at this stage in your progress, you will have to completely avoid food that triggers a binge for you, and then tackle that problem later on. I was very successful with this technique and the weight has been gone for almost four years.

    Nanaimo bars RULE though.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    log it, and move on....
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
    dang now I want cookies

    made me lol
  • SenshiV
    SenshiV Posts: 131 Member
    I don't see whats so bad in a binge one time or the other, it's really no big deal, specially if you know you have to eat alot and several days to start to gain weight back.

    I ate a "Gansito Marinela" yesterday with 8 ounces milk and to me is a , so what? I will not be a prisoner of loosing weight, I am in control so yeah, got my gansito, now let's get back to regular work as usual, and that's it.

    Cheer up, forget about it and when you do it, 'sometimes' not regularly, keep it real don't feel bad about it we all deserve something back for our efforts.

    By the way, I think my next will be what you had now I want some, maybe next week or later ^^.
  • meganbook
    meganbook Posts: 71
    Don't beat yourself up about it. I binged this weekend too. I usually do pretty good with holding back, but my biggest downfall is alcohol. Once I get a few drinks in me and I'm hungry, my inner fat girl runs rampant. I came home from the bar and started off good with carrots, but that quickly escalated to pizza and candy. I felt like crap the next day.

    If you feel a binge coming on, remind yourself how it made you feel. Look at pictures of your before you lost weight. Let that be an inspiration to not binge in the future. You are doing so well!

    Put it behind you, there is nothing you can do about it now except learn from it. Put a little extra time at the gym/take the stairs/do a little extra this week to make up for it and keep looking forward!
  • Karhyn
    Karhyn Posts: 18 Member
    Sometimes we need this to stay focussed after! Just remember that episode next time you feel like eating crap again! I wrote myself a little story that I read whenever I feel like having crapy food. It helps.

    Hope you feel better soon :)
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Hang in there - this has happened to so many of us so you are not alone. Just use the bad feelings to propel you back into healthy eating today. Luckily, one day of poor choices is unlikely to have any long term effect. Just make sure to do better today.
  • Brunner26_2
    Brunner26_2 Posts: 1,152
    I prefer google.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Don't be too hard on yourself. And next time you want cookies, buy a smaller package so you can eat them all, fill the craving, and not have more to "finish off" later.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    stuff happens. It is a setback, not a defeat.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Pretty sure everyone has binged at some point and still lost weight. What matters more is the bigger picture - Your general habits overall. As long as you are able to overcome it, forgive yourself, and accept it, you'll be okay. Lots of people use food when they are bored or depressed or just feeling out of control. Maybe the feeling of being sick from cookies is something you can try to remember if you're feeling the desire to binge eat again?

    When I was losing weight, I knew that if I kept cookies in the house, I would eat all of them. So I kept my pantry free of "trigger foods" until I was in a better place to moderate myself. It made me so much more SANE because I wasn't resisting temptation all the time. Most people here will say "don't deny yourself! Just learn how to moderate!" but it's just not that easy for some of us who binge. Maybe, at this stage in your progress, you will have to completely avoid food that triggers a binge for you, and then tackle that problem later on. I was very successful with this technique and the weight has been gone for almost four years.

    Nanaimo bars RULE though.

    Good advice. I have found that if I keep a whole package of oreos in the house, I can easily eat them all in one day (yikes!). So if I want cookies, I go to the convenience store and get a pack of two cookies. Then I don't feel at all bad for having cookies, and I can control how much I eat.
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
    Oh how I can relate to this one. I was a in the closet binger. I would wait for everybody to go to bed or leave the house and I would binge on anything I could get my hands on. I would eat almost to the point of throwing up. One time I almost wanted to force my self to purge then I realized this was going to lead me into a full bull ED. It is sad when the kids leave for school and say Mommy please don't eat all the Dorito's Mommy please don't eat my Ice Cream. I thought if each kid picked out the snacks it would stop me from eating it that didn't work. The time I ate the Ben and Jerry's my daughter picked out and I ate it all she started to cry. That was enough to make me fight. I definately feel at times the food is winning but with my strength each day it does get better. I would love to support you. Two weeks ago I was going to change my name just to Fatty Patty but the binger is still trying to hang around.
  • Keltinator
    Keltinator Posts: 265
    Oh my gosh, I just wanted to get it off my chest, I didn't think so many people would read it!

    Thanks to everyone who responded :') It means a lot.

    I've logged it all, looked at old pictures of me to remind me of how far I've come, and moved on.

    Once again thanks everybody!! :flowerforyou:
  • chardi7
    chardi7 Posts: 42 Member
    It's all right. I did yesterday too. At work I ate a chili dog and then when they bought us pizza I ate 4 bloody pieces, not to mention two candy bars and popcorn when I got home. It was bad, and I really felt terrible. I didn't even log it all.

    But that was yesterday. That was then. This is today, this is now, and I can undo the damage. So can you. Do an extra workout, take an extra long walk, cut one item out of your meal today. That's what I am doing.

    It does happen. It will happen. The key is not to let it happen EVERY DAY... and when it does happen, let it motivate you to try harder, not to give up. Don't give up!

    I am very similar to you...when I binge I tend not to log it...because if I dont log it...it never happened...haha
  • gwild0r
    gwild0r Posts: 135 Member
    Think about it this way.. Before you probably would of eaten that and not batted an eye.. This time you ate it and felt sick.. It's a good reminder on how far you've come..
  • joshpass
    joshpass Posts: 82 Member
    People, you have go to stop feeling so bad about binging. Although, I know how you feel as I used to feel that way. I wrote an article about it. Not trying to spam but trying to help people as I've been through it all. Check it out and let me know if you have any questions: http://goo.gl/o1Pak
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    You probably wont be doing that again in a hurry.

    Any way, my binges have been far worse than that and I learnt something about myself every time I had one. Just remember it was just one day, and one day should not ruin your diet. I know this sounds corny, but its a marathon rather than a sprint.
  • momof4greatkids1
    momof4greatkids1 Posts: 88 Member
    It is a speed bump. You logged it, you owned it, you learned from it! Please stop being disgusted with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a good friend who made a mistake. You surely would encourage your friend, and then help them to move on and get over it. Holding on to the negative feeling can perpetuate more unhealthy behaviors. Love yourself the way you would a dear friend, forgive and forget. Lesson learned.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Changing behaviour like that can take a lot of time. The important thing is that you know you don't want to feel like that again, and you're back on track today. Try and plan ahead in case there is a "next time". Try and look into some strategies that you could use when you feel the urge to binge so that you don't actually do it. If you're not familiar with them already, check out mindful eating, "urge surfing" and "distress tolerance". They are some things that have helped me.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    I had nachos and mcdonalds yesterday -.- So not worth it.
  • jmeyer925
    jmeyer925 Posts: 326 Member
    Also, DO NOT go to the grocery store while you're even remotely hungry. (If you can) go during the day when you normally have the most self control (for me it's mornings because im so focused).

    Try and steer clear of even tempting aisles, and once you grab that pack of cookies look at the calorie count and equate how much exercise you'd have to do to eat just a couple of those.

    It's so much easier to binge when you have those tempting foods around you. GET RID OF THEM, or at least out of sight or pass them onto children or friends :smile:

    So next time when you're tempted to binge you'll have only healthy things to eat.

    No one is perfect though! I am a binge eater too. I'll down an entire box of special k crackers or popcorn in a day and not realize i did it. Or like someone else on here mentioned, a week before my TOM i'm constantly "starving" and on day 2 i'm regretting everything I ate.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Forgive and move on. You have more important things to focus on-- moving toward your goals :smile:

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