Love Triangle: Do YOU think it is possible??

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Replies

  • Dawnymaries
    Dawnymaries Posts: 109
    I once loved two people at the same time. There will always be one that you love more, in that situation. Thankfully the one that I loved a great deal more is the one that I ended up with.

    If she is getting married, she needs to stop contact with the other completely. She's making a choice here and the other guy needs to be out of the picture.
  • cnsmith2
    cnsmith2 Posts: 539 Member
    I believe that you can love more than one person at a single time. I believe that you can have different levels of love. I also believe in mutual understanding and honesty.

    I've been married for 12 years, and after I got married I discovered an interest in things that my husband didn't share. We talked about it and he urged me to explore it. I won't go into a lot of details, but I did share a type of love with someone else, but my heart always remained with my husband and there were boundaries that we both agreed to.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I don't think most people realized I asked what YOU would do and have YOU been in this situation. Not what should she do. She already made her choice on the matter. I would agree with most of you. I see both sides but thank god I don't have to deal with it.

    I do have to say, I love all my ex's still. Even the ones I hate. They taught me something. I love them for that. And I shared a part of my heart with them. My husband is my world, but he has done the same with others before me. I wouldn't expect him to say he didn't love them. We've never had this conversation yet though... maybe we will :)

    I don't think that you realize that what everyone said they think she should do is what they would do . . . .

    I don't understand "I love all my ex's still," I remember some of them fondly, yes they've all taught me something . . . . but the first time I picked up a pile of dog poo and the bag had a hole it in I learned something . . . always check the bag first. I don't love dog poo or bags with holes in them. Just because you had an experience with someone or something doesn't mean that it still has a piece of you unless you want it to.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't think most people realized I asked what YOU would do and have YOU been in this situation. Not what should she do. She already made her choice on the matter. I would agree with most of you. I see both sides but thank god I don't have to deal with it.

    I do have to say, I love all my ex's still. Even the ones I hate. They taught me something. I love them for that. And I shared a part of my heart with them. My husband is my world, but he has done the same with others before me. I wouldn't expect him to say he didn't love them. We've never had this conversation yet though... maybe we will :)

    I don't think that you realize that what everyone said they think she should do is what they would do . . . .

    Exactly.

    She's making a mistake. You can't fully commit to one man when you are in love with another and he's still in your life.

    I have ONE ex that I would say I am still in love with. We are not together due to circumstances beyond ouor control, not because we really chose not to be together. But we both moved on because we had to. And while we stayed in touch for several years after I moved in with the boyfriend, we are no longer in touch. He was the one who cut things off, but I realize now it was for the best. I still have strong feelings for him, but in the end, I had to make a choice. Your friend is going to be sorry for this choice and she's probably going to have to reevaluate down the road.
  • aforange
    aforange Posts: 116 Member
    Is this the prologue to a really tacky romance novel?
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    I was once in this exact situation, except 'the other man' was a friend, not an ex.

    It took me a while to realize the grass is not always greener. I'm now getting married and 100% sure I made the right choice.

    She should cut off the ex. If he had any respect for her and her relationship, he wouldn't be putting her in this position in the first place.
  • MattTheWaterRat
    MattTheWaterRat Posts: 167 Member
    I hope your using fake names. If I was "Jen", and found out my friend was posting all my business on a forum, I'd be pissed.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    I hope your using fake names. If I was "Jen", and found out my friend was posting all my business on a forum, I'd be pissed.

    'My friend' often equates to 'me'. :wink:
  • palmerig88
    palmerig88 Posts: 623 Member
    Yeah. When my "Paul" contacted me out of the blue while I was engaged I wrote a quick email reply. "I'm getting married". He wrote back something about how he hoped I knew what I was doing and I truly loved this man. I never responded and have never spoken to him again. I did truly love this man. The man I've been married to for 8 years. There isn't someone who got away. There is someone with whom it didn't work out. I'm not face-book friends with him either. How would Jen feel if her fiance wouldn't let go of his former love and the situation were reversed? I bet she would hate it.
  • v65magna
    v65magna Posts: 27 Member
    I have been in this situation...My husband cheated and we split up. He never really left the picture as whenever he and she argued he'd call me or when he knew something bad had happened in my family he'd call to see how I was. He & she married. I later met a man who my ex had gone to school with. They weren't really friends...more just acquaintances. He & I married. He is a wonderful father (his children/not mine) husband and friend. My ex ripped a huge chunk of heart out when he did what he did and I was a long time getting over that. He was friends with my brother before we had ever gotten together. He remains friends with my brother and most of the male members of my family. My nephew lives next door to him so I do see him often. When I do see him and sometimes he makes a point of appearing when he knows he will not be over heard he makes a point of complimenting me on something or other. He apologizes for what he did to me constantly and tells me how he messed up. He ends EVERY conversation with "I still love you". My feelings for him now...I'don't care. I don't want anything bad to happen to him but I will never let him get ahold of my heart again.

    BY THE WAY...Did I mention he is divorced AGAIN.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I hope your using fake names. If I was "Jen", and found out my friend was posting all my business on a forum, I'd be pissed.

    'My friend' often equates to 'me'. :wink:

    Ding ding ding!!
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  • KRaemondH
    KRaemondH Posts: 120 Member
    I hope your using fake names. If I was "Jen", and found out my friend was posting all my business on a forum, I'd be pissed.

    'My friend' often equates to 'me'. :wink:

    well, thanks for both responses but, sorry to everyone on here I must tell you the truth... There is no Jen, there is no Paul and there is no John. This is a topic I was given for a assignment in Human sexuality psychology class and was asked to place in a social situation as anonymously as possible. I thought this spot worked quite well ;)

    The topic was 'Placing a situation where a relationship can either be split in two or kept as a whole, could an individual keep a loving psychological connection one person (male/female) and also keep a physical and psychological connection with another (male/female) harmoniously? How would mass population and the culture that you live in consider this idea? Consider all sides, religious views and sexual openness/orientation etc.

    My one opinion I did state was true, I am happily married, I do love all my ex's in some way and my husband is my world.

    I might just keep this going :)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
    I think keeping Paul in her life will just lead to major issues down the road. It might be hard as hell, but she needs to let him go - and let him go for good. If she's getting married and dedicating her life and love to one man, she can'd do so while part of her is with someone else...
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I hope your using fake names. If I was "Jen", and found out my friend was posting all my business on a forum, I'd be pissed.

    'My friend' often equates to 'me'. :wink:

    well, thanks for both responses but, sorry to everyone on here I must tell you the truth... There is no Jen, there is no Paul and there is no John. This is a topic I was given for a assignment in Human sexuality psychology class and was asked to place in a social situation as anonymously as possible. I thought this spot worked quite well ;)

    The topic was 'Placing a situation where a relationship can either be split in two or kept as a whole, could an individual keep a loving psychological connection one person (male/female) and also keep a physical and psychological connection with another (male/female) harmoniously? How would mass population and the culture that you live in consider this idea? Consider all sides, religious views and sexual openness/orientation etc.

    My one opinion I did state was true, I am happily married, I do love all my ex's in some way and my husband is my world.

    I might just keep this going :)

    Well I feel used.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
    I would think about my life without Paul. Settle on that for a few days. Was I ok? Was I sad and depressed? If I was ok, I would move on and get married. If not, I would do it the other way around. I would choose whoever I could not possibly think about living a single day without.

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