For the ladies, what do you do about creepers at the gym?

DJ2120
DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
How to you handle it when certain guys don't get the message to leave you alone? Usually I have no problem telling a random guy to bug off if I am just out & about in public. But, it's harder when you are at the gym & you know you will be seeing this person regularly. There is this one guy at the gym who seems to be newer because I haven't seen him before last week. It started out with him asking me why I don't smile & how about I put a smile on my pretty face. I looked him dead in the face & I told him I'm not a smiley type pf person & I turned around & walked away, but I could hear him saying "Well why not?" But I just ignored him. Now I see him every morning at the gym because he comes in around the same time as me, he is constantly trying to talk to me & I literally look right through him, don't respond & act like he isn't even there. But, he won't get the message! Most people would just be like I'm not going to bother with this stank girl & her attitude. But, no! He keeps bugging me every day & now I'm started to dread going to the gym. Any tips on how I can tell him to pretend I don't exist without creating a super uncomfortable situation every time I have to see him there?
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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    If telling him you weren't interested and ignoring him isn't working, I'd tell the staff that he's bothering you and won't leave you alone.
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
    I put on headphones and ignore him pretend I don't hear him
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    He must see you as a challenge.'

    Honestly unless he's doing something really offensive like touching you, making lewd gestures or anything like that I wouldn't complain to management just because he's trying to talk to you. Maybe just flat out tell him that you're not there to socialize and could he please leave you alone.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    He must see you as a challenge.'

    Honestly unless he's doing something really offensive like touching you, making lewd gestures or anything like that I wouldn't complain to management just because he's trying to talk to you. Maybe just flat out tell him that you're not there to socialize and could he please leave you alone.

    This is my thought as well.
  • Kirkajuice
    Kirkajuice Posts: 311 Member
    "I don't mean to be rude but I'm here to work. You're messing up my routine when you talk to me" and from then on don't acknowledge them?
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    Tell him you're a lesbian. Worked for me at a gas station one time.

    Then again, talking to him at all might encourage further conversation.

    You could also try flirting shamelessly with other guys while you're there so that it's obvious WHY you're not talking to him... and not that you're just not talking to anyone... maybe he's just one of those people that likes to make chit chat with strangers. I do it all the time but I'm not persistent about it if someone's not friendly.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    He must see you as a challenge.'

    Honestly unless he's doing something really offensive like touching you, making lewd gestures or anything like that I wouldn't complain to management just because he's trying to talk to you. Maybe just flat out tell him that you're not there to socialize and could he please leave you alone.

    I think this is the best way to put it. And if he continues to bother me after that then I will go to management. But, I think he should get the point with this.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    If you wear headphones, point at them and make no motion to take them off. Then break eye contact and keep working out. If you don't wear headphones, point at the weights, then tap your wrist twice (international gesture for "time is of the essence"), break eye contact and keep working out.

    Two keys are break eye contact and speak NO WORDS. That should shut it down for good after 3 instances.

    If he tries to block your path to reestablish eye contact, kick him in the ding ding. For reals
  • JulieRoselovesFreeze
    JulieRoselovesFreeze Posts: 49
    If ignoring the guy isn't getting the point across, try being direct.

    You can try to soften the blow a little if you want, like tell him when you're at the gym you don't really socialize because (fill in the blank: you need to concentrate on your movements, it's your time to think, or whatever) and him talking to you has really thrown you off.

    Another idea- before I met my husband, I wore a fake engagement ring. Tell him you are married or engaged and your jealous bf/husband just joined the gym and you don't want to start a fight....

    No matter how ridiculous of an excuse you give- if you ask him to stop talking to you and he STILL does, that is when I would say something to staff.
  • Angie__1MR
    Angie__1MR Posts: 388 Member
    Just tell him to piss off.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    Definitely! Even if you're not one to listen to music while working out, just put the head phones in and string them through your shirt. Someone tries to talk to you, blatantly ignore them and they'll shut up eventually realizing you can't hear them. It's a much better alternative than having to tell people off every 5 minutes if they're harassing you.
  • cbrrabbit25
    cbrrabbit25 Posts: 384 Member
    If you wear headphones, point at them and make no motion to take them off. Then break eye contact and keep working out. If you don't wear headphones, point at the weights, then tap your wrist twice (international gesture for "time is of the essence"), break eye contact and keep working out.

    Two keys are break eye contact and speak NO WORDS. That should shut it down for good after 3 instances.

    If he tries to block your path to reestablish eye contact, kick him in the ding ding. For reals

    yes, this works very well for me too. i love my headphones!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Be more direct and tell him that you don't like to socialize at the gym and ask him to leave you alone.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    Definitely! Even if you're not one to listen to music while working out, just put the head phones in and string them through your shirt. Someone tries to talk to you, blatantly ignore them and they'll shut up eventually realizing you can't hear them. It's a much better alternative than having to tell people off every 5 minutes if they're harassing you.

    Great idea! I'm going to start using my spare set of ear buds that are from my phone, I'll string them through my shirt like you suggested so that nobody can see what they are attached to! Thanks for this!
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    If you wear headphones, point at them and make no motion to take them off. Then break eye contact and keep working out. If you don't wear headphones, point at the weights, then tap your wrist twice (international gesture for "time is of the essence"), break eye contact and keep working out.

    Two keys are break eye contact and speak NO WORDS. That should shut it down for good after 3 instances.

    If he tries to block your path to reestablish eye contact, kick him in the ding ding. For reals

    I approve of this post. Sounds like a winning plan to me.
  • MrFitness972
    MrFitness972 Posts: 45 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    Do you have an MP3 player on your cell phone???
  • sunrisefitness
    sunrisefitness Posts: 11
    I find that these types of guys have no social skills whatsoever. I mean, who would keep bothering someone who was showing all body language that said "piss off?" Try "sorry, no time to talk, gotta focus on my workout. Have a nice day." and then just keep moving, look down at your log book, or otherwise avoid eye contact.

    I've had some guys even try to approach me when wearing the earphones and moving fast, which means they can't read body language. I just say "what?" about 4 times, then say, "sorry, too much sweat in my ears, gotta keep working out. " and turn and go on about my business.
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    oh, yeah you gotta get some headphones if you wnat to be leftr alone and just workout... great investment in your fitness
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    If you wear headphones, point at them and make no motion to take them off. Then break eye contact and keep working out. If you don't wear headphones, point at the weights, then tap your wrist twice (international gesture for "time is of the essence"), break eye contact and keep working out.

    Two keys are break eye contact and speak NO WORDS. That should shut it down for good after 3 instances.

    If he tries to block your path to reestablish eye contact, kick him in the ding ding. For reals

    I approve of this post. Sounds like a winning plan to me.

    Me too :wink:
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    oh, yeah you gotta get some headphones if you wnat to be leftr alone and just workout... great investment in your fitness

    I agree, not sure why I didn't think of this before. I'm going to use a spare set I have & just fake it lol!
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Honestly, I ignore it on the rare occasions that I've ever noticed anything weird. I continue to keep my headphones and I do NOT make eye contact. 100% ignore them and pretend like they don't exist.

    I don't have an issue though.. but if I did I'd tell my boyfriend who also works as security at my gym. In your situation, I would tell somebody. That guy clearly is not going to get the hint unless either you or somebody else tells him bluntly to go away.

    I don't have any type of ipod, headphones etc. wish I did. I think that needs to be in investment.

    Do you have an MP3 player on your cell phone???

    I can play music on my phone, but I'm so clumsy I'm afraid of dropping it (iPhone super delicate) while I'm working out so I never bring it inside the gym.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    I just sleep with them
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    I find that these types of guys have no social skills whatsoever. I mean, who would keep bothering someone who was showing all body language that said "piss off?" Try "sorry, no time to talk, gotta focus on my workout. Have a nice day." and then just keep moving, look down at your log book, or otherwise avoid eye contact.

    I've had some guys even try to approach me when wearing the earphones and moving fast, which means they can't read body language. I just say "what?" about 4 times, then say, "sorry, too much sweat in my ears, gotta keep working out. " and turn and go on about my business.

    I totally agree, I don't know why anyone would bother someone who clearly looks like they are not the least bit friendly & even mean possibly. I'm going to start using headphones & I think my gym experience will be much more pleasant from now on.
  • MiniCooperDeb
    MiniCooperDeb Posts: 48 Member
    Tell the staff and keep telling them until they do something. The last thing you need is for this to spill into the parking lot where it could potentially turn dangerous. Do something NOW!
  • leslie0422
    leslie0422 Posts: 108 Member
    I put on headphones and ignore him pretend I don't hear him

    This is exactly what I do and it tends to work for most guys....maybe not this one though.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    I just sleep with them

    Well, that may work for you. But, I don't think my Husband of 9 years would approve lol :blushing:
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
    Just tell him to f**k off and put some headphones on. It doesn't matter if he is offended and its "awkward" seeing him at the gym after, you're already uncomfortable so it can't get any worse by being direct.

    I've never had a problem with creepers (no chubby chasers at my gym, I guess, lol) but I've had women get on a cardio machine next to me and want to be my best friend, chatting away. I tell them flat out, sorry - not into talking while I workout. Then I tune them out and ignore. One woman called me a bi**h, oh well. Didn't want to be friends with her anyway and if she tells others I'm a bi**h, well maybe everyone will leave me alone while I work out.

    Good luck!
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Tell the staff and keep telling them until they do something. The last thing you need is for this to spill into the parking lot where it could potentially turn dangerous. Do something NOW!

    If the headphone method doesn't work & he keeps it up I definitely will, thank you :smile:

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