I AM FAT BECAUSE.......

I think it is a combination of several factors. 10 Yrs ago I had to have an emergency total hysterectomy at the old age of 34 , I was not educated on the effects it would have on my body...but it was not a choice...Taking HRT was a choice, but at the time I needed to start the HRT , there was alot of news about it increasing the risk of breast cancer , so my Dr actually told me NOT to take it.
I was 5'5" and 125 lbs when I had surgery.
I never "exercised" but was active..I went dancing every week, swimming , biking, and my job was very physical.
About 6 months later my first grandson was born, I met my future husband ..

Within a yr I had moved in with my future husband, and I started gaining weight. He does not dance , swim , or go biking. He really is very inactive , and his habits became my habits. He also refuses to have any kind of chicken in the house, so where I was eating chicken and beans and rice before , now I was cooking beef almost everynight plus he loves southern fried foods , so I was cooking unhealthy CRAP .
One year after my first grandson was born , my daughter gave birth to another boy, and he had major birth defects. He died 10 months later , I was not handling it well..although , I NEVER understood HOW my Dr expected me to handle it..he prescribed xanax, ambian, and anti-depressants...I gained probaly 20 lbs and never even cared.
Needless to say, you are supposed to cry and be sad when a loved one , especially a baby dies.

Between that , and my husband , my Dad passed, and some other family tragedy, I was on anti depressants and the other meds for 6 yrs. Then my cat tripped me going down the stairs , and I fell down, I have two discs that ruptured , so the drs added vicodin to the toxic cocktail I was already taking. Vicodin really messed me up , I gained 55 lbs in 4 yrs after starting that MEDICATION.

We had moved from Texas, to Malaysia, then to Russia...I slipped in Russia and broke my ankle, so I was really up *kitten* creek cause crutches DO NOT work on ice. I was finally sent back to Texas for medical leave in the FALL of 2011..In February of this yr , I decided enough was enough. I detoxed off the meds on my own , at home..with the help of my daughters help..hubby did not want me going to rehab cause it might be BAD for HIS career. Yep he is a selfish fool, we are working on that. Or he is.
I have a digestive disease , and just in Sept , had to take some pain meds..I hated it , but this pain is not something tylenol or motrin will take care of. I have been taking anti biotics since Sept 17 and they were making me so nauseated..I cold not keep them down..My weakness, is Dr pepper, Lord , I wish they had never invented this stuff..and sweet tea..they are like my crack.
Fried okra, shrimp...and mashed potatos..lol..I can go without sweet foods, but savory foods are my problem. I was trained by a CIA teacher to cook , and that might be my downfall..:)
Another thing is some people who are skinny , see theirselves as fat everytime they look in the mirror...I am opposite, I never saw the fat till someone would take my photo..so I just avoided being photographed..stuck my head in the sand..and of course I felt horrible , amazing how just 20 lbs will alter your health ..

So it was not one thing that made me fat but several factors, and I still did not writer them ALL ...some I am still processing in my own head, and am not ready to even speak about them.:(

I have made several changes , I have been working out with a trainer , 5 times a week at Golds Gym. When I shop for food , I dont buy ANYTHING with a box top OR that has a COUPON..the coupons give you garbage to feed your body for free or almost free..not saving anything there..in the long run. I hate it too, cause I was an extreme couponer before the show ever came along.
I do not eat anything from a mix, or a box, if I cannot make it I dont want it...I dont eat FAKE foods..that is stuff sold as food, that is made from FOOD LIKE substances...the only food I take that comes in a package is a protein shake and the occasional dr pepper. Last week was different cause I had people cooking here and I ate what they ate..but it made me even sicker. I eat kale or spinach and beans almost EVERY day...I still love french fries , I told my trainer thats my recovery food:) but I do limit them to once maybe twice a week and I never order a large. I am not a huge meat eater, blame it on my Dad who took me hunting and tried to get me to gut a deer when I was 6 yrs old...I cannot stomach deer or lamb at all , and if it is runny , nope wont eat that either..I would make a wonderful vegitarian ..but my hubs says my talent would be wasted .

For some reason , my sense of smell has increased dramatically , in the past 10 yrs..and if it smells nasty < I am NOT eating it.
My weakness before I started eating whole foods, was raspberry ANYTHING....until I read how they make artificial raspberry flavoring..It comes from the ingredient castorium , which is gathered from the ANAL GLAND of the beaver...no more raspberry flavoring for me. I eat raspBERRYS but not anything made with artificial raspberry flavor.
Then the PINK SLIME made the news , now I do not eat ANY meat from Krogers, and no lunch meat that is anything remotly formed.
Ha , it drives my daughter and grandkids CRAZY...I do not ever eat at McDonalds, and will not take the kids there either..oor Burger King, Taco Bell, ...They miss the old me..lol.
Ok I wrote a book..sorry.

because I settled for a 2nd rate version of me because I was afraid of constantly failing which reinforced a constant negative self image. I didnt really believe that I deserved better, and when I did do well and achieve....I sabotaged my progress. I DESERVE BETTER FOR MYSELF.

BUMP to That!!!!!

Because I didn't think I was worthy of success or happiness. Being an emotional eater is a slippery slope...but I now know how fabulous I am, despite what size I am. I now want my outside to reflect the healthy beautiful person that is inside.

I thought that I had to eat twice as much as a normal person during my pregnancy...Gained so much excess weight!! After I had my daughter I THOUGHT that it would all go away. Turned out there was only an 15 pound difference!! All that I gained was mostly fat and I have been fighting to get it off for the past two years...

Because I didn't realise that caring about myself meant caring about my body.

Because I didn't realise that even what is considered a reasonable amount of excess fat can set your body up to malfunction.

Because I didn't have all the tools needed to get myself back in shape

Because it took me a long time to work through the idea of bad/good food

I now have a handle on it all..and I feel great!

I love sex and had two babies.
o.O

....i didn't care about myself or the world around me anymore so i just ate whenever i wanted, however much i wanted and stayed on the couch or in bed. it got better for a little while in high school, then kicked right back up again as soon as i moved in with my ex-fiance. then when my hubby and i got married, i found out what a great cook he was and he makes such insanely rich and delicious food that I couldn't stop myself.

i am fat because:

:ohwell: i am lazy
:ohwell: i underestmate the calories in what i eat even though i dont eat too much
:ohwell: i'm an emotional eater
:ohwell: i have a terrible sweet tooth and struggle to control myself and have just a little bit

It's a combination of different factors.

Growing up my mom never really pushed me to exercise or play sports, because that was considered a boy thing to do.
My parents never really taught me how to eat healthy, because they didn't eat healthy.
I didn't know how to get in shape.
When I started college I started drinking a lot more pop and a lot more junk foods.
I never realized that I was an emotional eater.

It also took me a long time to realize that part of the reason I am so unhappy is because I don't like the way I look and I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. While l know that losing weight won't completely help with this, just the minor progress I've made has made me feel a little bit better.

A lot of it is because I use to be anorexia and got down to 97lbs when I was like 26. I am 5'4 1/2. I was being threatened by my friends and family that they would take me to the hospital. So I started eating BLTs all the time. I got to a healty weight and been up and down since. Now it is because I am married and we both love to eat and our kids love to eat.
I am scared that if I don't eat I will get back down to that size. My lowest 3 yrs ago was 114. I am now to 150 and everyone says I look healthy but I don't feel healthy.

I was sexually abused and very neglected as a child.

This led me to feel extremely vulnerable my whole life.

I started eating and eating and eating to build a fortress.

But when I realized that it wasn't helping me I looked for the way out and had lost the map and the key.

I had become hard core addicted to sugar.

I am now working toward de-cluttering my home and de-fatting my body.

When I accomplish this I will be able to stand naked to the world and know that I am safe, because I, alone, am smart, strong and savvy enough to protect myself from harm and to help others.

I will love and be loved and be active in this world.

This is my goal.

because I settled for a 2nd rate version of me because I was afraid of constantly failing which reinforced a constant negative self image. I didnt really believe that I deserved better, and when I did do well and achieve....I sabotaged my progress.

THIS. Also, fast food is delicious, I'm lazy, and, as icing on the cake, I have a metabolism disorder. I got down to 130 (my goal weight) at one point, but then my metabolism started acting up again and I started to gain weight. But instead of trying harder, I just quit. I don't think I'm exactly a fabulous wonderful person, but even if I'm not, that's no reason to be fat as well, so now I'm back on MFP.

Because I still have not learned to make time to take care of me! I am working on it....but its not happening yet. Its easy for me to say it here, its hard to incorporate into my life.

Laziness (lack of activity)
Poor Food choices
Over indulgence
Selfishness
Stubbornness
ignorance

When I was younger I thought I could eat all the cookies, donuts, mac n cheese, and pizza I wanted. Then I started eating healthier in high school.... But portion control was never my strength.

18 more pounds left to reach my ultimate goal and i plan on maintaining for good! it is impossible for me to go a day without some activity.I dont remember ever being this little and buying a new wardrobe is always fun

I love food (healthy or unhealthy). I do exercise to compensate or I'm sure I would be MUCH bigger than I am. I just don't dedicate my life to exercise because I would rather dedicate it to my family...and I'm not willing to stop loving food. Vicious circle and I'm fully aware of it. However, I love my life and I'm not a health risk so I don't stress a whole lot over it. I like to keep track on here, mostly, becuase it keeps me aware and accountable.