Hmm I lost ten pounds... can I be done now?

I think you're at the point I was about five years ago. I recognized I needed to make a change. But I wasn't willing to make the commitment I needed to really make it happen.

I've known for years that something had to give. I could easily observe the effects of my years of bad habits. Catching my breath at the top of a single flight of stairs. Sleep apnea. Buying clothes in ever larger sizes. Feeling terrible when I ate too much. I was almost ready, but not quite.

Finally, after accumulating a number of negative reasons to lose weight, I found a positive one. We bought a house in a neighborhood in Florida where many residents are about our age. It's a very active, outdoor oriented community. No, not a retirement community. Most of our neighbors are in their 40s and 50s. Kayakers, bicyclers, runners, sailors, kiteboarders. I was BLOWN AWAY by how active they are. And, as a natural extension, they also happen to be pretty trim and fit.

So, when I began to see myself living in that community, doing the things they do, I began to feel a deep seated desire to change. I wasn't motivated by any of the negatives. I didn't feel like the diet or the exercise were obligations, but rather the tools I needed to realize this new vision of myself.

Now that I have modified my lifestyle so I can be more like the people I hold up as role models, I've lost nearly all the weight I've planned to lose (20 lbs to go), I can run for miles at a time, I threw away that hateful CPAP machine, and my jeans are four sizes smaller.

So my advice is to look for POSITIVE reasons to make a LIFESTYLE change. Adopt a vision for what a BETTER YOU looks like, and work toward that, not some arbitrary scale number. The weight loss will come as a result. And you won't feel for a minute like you are giving up anything.

Wow - sorry losing weight was such an inconvience for you! If it's that much of a hassle and the benefits don't outweigh the negatives, then yes....you can be done.

The problem is, you're still thinking of this as a diet instead of a way to lose weight and change your lifestyle to keep that weight off long term. If you can't eat certain foods because they trigger you, that's fine. And certain foods have health benefits that others don't. But, you don't have to cut out foods just to lose weight. Yes, the scale jumps up the day after you eat pizza.....but it goes back down after the sodium is flushed out of your system. Drink more water.

You also don't have to exercise - it's not required to lose weight. But don't say that you're too busy. That's insulting to the MFP members who do find time to exercise - we all have obligations, commitments, and requirements. But a lot of us just make sacrifices in order to get a workout in. If you don't want to do that, that's fine.

I stay motivated because being 43lbs lighter is better than being obese. And being fit and healthy is better than stuffing my face with too many calories. That's my motivation....but it sounds like you're just not there yet. Hopefully it "clicks" for you soon.

While I agree with this, I don't think the OP was being completely condescending until she hit the exercise portion of her post. I think that she's kind of worn down and doesn't know where to turn, because until you realize that you're making excuses...it feels like you really can't.

I'm working two part time jobs and going to school part time as well, filling up all 7 days with -something-, but I still exercise at least 3 days a week because I know it will help me with my goal. At first I didn't. I thought that I really couldn't, that my time was already so stretched that it was impossible. Annnddd... then I did it. And I kept doing it. My "diet" doesn't stay healthy all the time, but I'm putting my effort in with exercise.

However, like I said, I agree with this post. I do think that if you want something bad enough, you're not going to say "I just don't want to do this" because it's inconvenient. It just doesn't work like that.

So, in my honest opinion, you (OP) need to just sit there and think... "Do I really want to lose this weight?" If you do, it doesn't matter how 'motivated' you are, you're going to get your *kitten* up and do it. If you don't, you'll keep saying "I'm tired" or "I'm busy".

You either want it bad enough, or you don't. That simple.

Of course I mean no offense to all the MFP'ers who do exercise when I say I'm busy. Please realize it is just me rationalizing/making excuses. My apologies.

so when will the excuses stop when you are laying in a hospital bed with tubes and stuff coming out your nose??????


well i been there and done that and i can tell you an hour or two a day in the gym is way better than laying in a hospital bed for well over a week...

The most motivating/rewarding part of all of this, for me, is the exercise and maintaining the ability to move and do as I get older.

How much fun is life if you're out of breath from one flight of stairs, or if you can't go for a nice walk on a beautiful beach/mountain/whatever? What about when your back and knees start to hurt all the time from just doing what you must do every day?

Decide what is important and move it or lose it.

Wow - sorry losing weight was such an inconvience for you! If it's that much of a hassle and the benefits don't outweigh the negatives, then yes....you can be done.

The problem is, you're still thinking of this as a diet instead of a way to lose weight and change your lifestyle to keep that weight off long term. If you can't eat certain foods because they trigger you, that's fine. And certain foods have health benefits that others don't. But, you don't have to cut out foods just to lose weight. Yes, the scale jumps up the day after you eat pizza.....but it goes back down after the sodium is flushed out of your system. Drink more water.

You also don't have to exercise - it's not required to lose weight. But don't say that you're too busy. That's insulting to the MFP members who do find time to exercise - we all have obligations, commitments, and requirements. But a lot of us just make sacrifices in order to get a workout in. If you don't want to do that, that's fine.

I stay motivated because being 43lbs lighter is better than being obese. And being fit and healthy is better than stuffing my face with too many calories. That's my motivation....but it sounds like you're just not there yet. Hopefully it "clicks" for you soon.

nicely said!

I work 12 hours shifts. start at 4;30 in am and leave work at 7;30 at night. I go to gym every night after work for 1 1/2 hours. I wish I could lose without hard work, but I can't.

My main lesson learned: FORGIVE YOURSELF when you slip. Tomorrow's a new day. Remind yourself that you can lose and will at your own pace.

This is true, although if every day is a slip and you just think "tomorrow is a new day", then you find yourself always making excuses and "starting again tomorrow".

For someone in the OP's position, it's probably a good idea to think "the next meal is the next opportunity to make good choices", instead of blowing a day.

"I really hate it, I'm not willing. Also busy."

There is no gentle way to put this. If the above is really your attitude, then yes, you can be done. You are already done if that's your frame of mind.

I've struggled with my weight my entire adult life. When I've felt like you have expressed, I stayed fat. Only when I've changed my mind was I ever able to change my body. I'm usually a really nice person and sorry if my statement is harsh. I just see in you where I've been so many times and the best advice I can give is to change your mindset. Only then can you really change your body (and it wont suck so bad).

I've recently changed my mind and the results are fantastic. I'm eating yummy things, working out hard, losing weight, and feeling fantastic. Feel free to add me if you'd like to see my food diary.

:flowerforyou:

I'm 52, in menopause and very lazy:) I don't like to think about having to do this for the rest of my life. So, today I choose to do this. I'm going to exercise, eat right and be happy. I can't change yesterday, tomorrow isn't here yet, but Today I can choose. :flowerforyou:



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You could take a short break.

One thing that comes to my mind is---When the pain of not changing is greater than the process of making that change, you will find it important. Maybe the pain isn't that great right now for you.
One Day At A Time.... This isn't an over night venture, it is a life time.
To lose weight and keep it off, you have to change your lifestyle. Slip ups will happen, but you just go back to healthier eating as soon as possible. The more you eat junk food, the more you crave junk. And visa-versa, the more you eat healthy, the easier it is to stick to that.

Good Luck!

I started a huge quest to lose weight, lost a lot a few years ago..I was 315lbs an got to 205lbs and I stopped, I got de motivated, was tired of taking account of every morsel I ate etc it all felt like too much...I quit, I managed to maintain for a long time til last year when I quit smoking and it crept up about 40lbs......I am saying this because..my absolute biggest regret is knowing that if I had stuck it out another year I would have hit target...instead I am 5yrs later still fat, still unhappy with my body and I still have the same thing to do, instead of enjoying the health benefits that I should be, wearing the clothes I want to, I am still fighting a battle that I could have won already...If you are unhappy enough to have started to lose weight, then you are going to be less happy in a few years time and its going to feel even worse knowing you could have got the job done already!