new, want to lose weight!

Hello everyone! I am new and I am 21. My name is Carrie and I joined because I want to lose weight.

My profile photo is of my husband. He is my big inspiration. So when I log, I like to look at his photo. I get so jealous of him because he is super thin and doesnt gain. I see him eat dozen donuts and gallon of ice cream in one sitting and gain nothing. He even has a flat stomach! So, with all of his junk food in the house, it gets tempting for me.

4 years ago when I was with my ex, I was only 130 lbs. He was very big into martial arts and was a personal trainer and he kept me in shape. Once we broke up, he being my first love, I took it hard. I gained some but not enough to make me worry. I went from size sm to med. About a year later I met my now husband and I stayed the same, 150's. I didnt start gaining until my dad got ill last january and died on 1/21/12. I took it extremly hard and my workplace was very harsh to me. My manager acted as if his dying was a huge inconvenience and only allowed me a week off or I lost my job. I gained with that and my job stress. It got bad, i couldnt fit in any wedding dressed and could only wear a plus size prom dress which i cried and wanted to call it off because nothing was going right. I never had my dream dress or wedding because of my weight gain. Didnt help being on a 200 dollar wedding dress budget. Anyway, come july my pap died and my workplace wouldnt give me off. They had to and refused berev pay. My weight is almost 200lbs and I hate it. I cover the mirrors when I shower...because i hate seeing the gut. So, now that I went through the worst of the grieving process and quit my job...the stress demised and I hope I can lose weight.

My goal is 130lbs again and fit back in my clothes by my birthday in march. I want to go into a night club and wear a sexy dress. .i apologize for grammar errors...I am using my phone and it inserts whatever it wants and messes up. Anyway, thats a lil about me.