Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons :(

teresatt11
teresatt11 Posts: 11
in Health and Weight Loss
I never posted here very much since I have joined.. I felt like I didn’t need to.. this time I told myself I have it under control.. this time there is no going back... but it seems fate as it is has reared its ugly head and is slapping me around really good, or if you will, I am letting it.

I have made this lifestyle change many times in my life over and over.. but this time.. well it was suppose to be different.. I had 3 major operations back to back that left me in bed or a wheelchair for over a year.. then I lost my father.. I was by all standards as well as dead in my own mind. I found myself on the scale at 498lbs. June 2011, I decided that I couldn't do that anymore to myself or my family. It’s been successful.. the ride is slow, due to the operations I am limited in what exercise I am allowed to do. When I was introduced to this site, I had hit a Plato.. in total I have lost 185lbs.. but since 2 weeks ago when I was told "go ahead, eat a Jersey Mike's sub it won’t hurt you", I have hit a low.. one I just cannot seem to snap back from.

These whole 16 months I have slipped then forgave myself the next day and started over.. but this time its different.. I am just discouraged and can’t seem to make myself get back on the horse.. so to speak.

Any suggestions? Unfortunately addiction was genetically handed down to me and my brother.. family of pills, cigarettes, alcohol or food.. I am just tried and feel deflated.

Replies

  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Slow and steady will win your race for sure. Being addicted to food means you'll likely be eating when you're not even hungry. Some things are perfect for this. Raw spinach salads with no dressing, celery sticks, chewing gum, etc. These are tools you can use to help fight off the need to eat despite not being hungry at all.

    Be active here. Not simply so we have more people to chat with, but because it keeps you HONEST and it keeps you on track. Become friends with people here and help them and help yourself. By always checking in, chatting etc. you are more likely to stay on the wagon. Think about it. If you fall off the wagon you ride on alone, there's no one there to pick you up. If you ride the wagon together, you might be caught by someone before you even fall off!

    Given your weight and your goals. Long term calorie deficits may put undue stress on the body. This stress will raise cortisol levels and may lead to stalled weight loss progress. When this happens, go ahead and eat at maintenance or surplus for a whole week. Maybe even two! This will make your body lower its stress and thus lower cortisol levels. Elevated cortisol levels reduce fat loss and promote fat storage as well as affect insulin resistance.

    It is totally okay to take 2 steps back when you're taking 20 steps forward. So long as you continue with that forward more often than not!
  • Jennifer_Lynn_1982
    Jennifer_Lynn_1982 Posts: 567 Member
    I'm not sure I know what's best for me to say here but I had to say something....all I know is when I fall, I have to pick myself up the next day and do a bit better than the day before. I know it's not easy but I know that I can't stop because I can't fail this time...I'm sick of failing, I'm sick of buying bigger clothes....so if I get low, instead of focusing on how I feel, I focus on my anger.

    I don't know if this helps but I hope that you fight back after the tough battle you've had. You've come so far!!
    You deserve to be healthy, to feel good about yourself and all of us at MFP are rooting for you on your journey!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/brutesquad/

    ^ Not quite sure what to say, but this is my friend's blog and he helps inspire me when I am feeling low... He covers a lot of the feelings you've described. It is sometimes all about the "ugly win", dragging your feet half-dead over the finish line instead of arriving there shiny and sparkling with leaps and bounds. You may read over some of his posts and see if it helps you. :)

    Best of luck.
  • doggiesnot
    doggiesnot Posts: 334 Member
    I suggest learning about the effects of alcohol on the body, and how it is processed by your body. Cigarettes are a no-brainer. They are bad for your body. When you decide in your mind that you are deciding to be healthy, the changes to the body will follow. Your mind is your engine, the body only carries you around. Be fit, you can do it!
  • eljulia
    eljulia Posts: 40
    OHHHHH i feel ya.....

    You've done SO well!!! i've hit a plateau after 37 pounds and my sister dying in March, but look how much you've lost! So great! i too come from a family history of addictive behavior, and it's mostly hit me with the food issue. i stumble and fall on a regular basis, it seems, especially since losing my sister, but i'm learning to be more gracious toward myself and move on again. Those of us who struggle with food issues usually have loads of self-esteem sorts of issues going as well, and aaaaall these fumble-stumbles play into that horrible self-talk we do. And honestly, i found the beginning of my food-changes much easier than i do now, since at first the weight comes off easier.

    i have some limitations too with my fibromyalgia and its pain and fatigue, so i know it's just a slower process altogether than somebody who can do those hard-core exercise regimes. But the point is to just keep myself aimed in the right direction so i'll keep moving toward a healthier body and mind.

    As far as having some food derail me, i've had that happen plenty (it often involves Lay's Barbecue Chips, or chocolate) BUT i then tell myself, "okay, you didn't do what you really WANT to do, which is eat for your New! Improved! life, BUT, it's this one day, or this one weekend, and now you're done with it, so forgive yourself and start fresh tomorrow." For me as an emotional eater, i've gotten much more kind to myself as i've understood what things cause me to go off the healthy-eating-trail.

    Friend me if you'd like, we can support each other!
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
    We are always, always, always way too hard on ourselves. We hold ourselves to standards that we would never hold another person to. And then we beat ourselves up when we don't meet them all the time. Well, what about the times you do reach them... Do you give yourself the pat on the back that you deserve? Probably not...because we "expect" ourselves to meet our standards. Well, stop that!

    What advice would you give a friend who had lost 185 lbs (!!!) and then ate a sub and felt worthless? You'd tell them that the sub was not a big deal. You'd ask them if they enjoyed it. You'd tell them that their progress is nothing short of AMAZING and you know that they can jump right back on the wagon and keep up the FANTASTIC work!

    So tell yourself that! Everyone responds better to positivity.

    Eating a sub is part of living life. It will probably happen again...and that's OK! If it doesn't happen...that's OK too! Obstacles will always be there, we just need to learn how to move past them instead of letting them stop us.
  • teresatt11
    teresatt11 Posts: 11
    Thank you everyone, you all have given me allot to think about and even at 48 this old lady learned allot more than I thought i knew. I've never heard of cortisol levels, and am eager to learn more as well as read about others.. just knowing no one is alone in this is something I can tell myself.. I just detest my own pity party's and not do it anymore to myself..

    I don't pat myself on the back.. something I would like to do... hopefully I can get through this patch and start to like myself... you all and your words of kindness are much appreciated... thank you so much.. it does mean allot to me, really allot.

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