For the ladies, what do you do about creepers at the gym?

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Replies

  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    Has it never occurred to you to just politely tell him that you are there to work out and not to make friends, etc etc?

    You can tell someone you aren't interested in a nice way, rather than just ignoring them or being rude to them.

    Then, if he persists, you have something to go to management with.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Tell them to suck it and do the hand symbol, Obvi...

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  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Has it never occurred to you to just politely tell him that you are there to work out and not to make friends, etc etc?

    You can tell someone you aren't interested in a nice way, rather than just ignoring them or being rude to them.

    Then, if he persists, you have something to go to management with.

    Well, like I mentioned in earlier posts if he bother me again that's what I will tell him.
  • Tell him you're a lesbian. Worked for me at a gas station one time.

    Then again, talking to him at all might encourage further conversation.

    You could also try flirting shamelessly with other guys while you're there so that it's obvious WHY you're not talking to him... and not that you're just not talking to anyone... maybe he's just one of those people that likes to make chit chat with strangers. I do it all the time but I'm not persistent about it if someone's not friendly.

    That doesn't work if anything turns them on more. Tried this one and they started asking if they could watch etc etc. NEVER use the ledbian line
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    can I say just because I talk to a woman at the gym doesn't mean I'm trying to get her in the sack, the gym does not have to be a hostile.

    I don't think that is what she is suggest or is bothered by. His behavior is harrasing. Insisting she smile, not taking obvious social cues. I have women friends at the gym where we say hi and stuff but there is a big difference. If I greet someone and they are not welcoming in return, I can take a hint. There is a big difference between taking and being friendly and harrasing.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    Isn't just ignoring the guy being a little passive aggressive? You need to tell him to leave you alone directly.

    As a guy, I'd say this is some of the best advice. Simply draw that line in the sand and tell him you're there to work out, not to socialize. Then, it doesn't matter if he's a fixer, if he's flirting, or if he's just trying to strike up a conversation because he's someone who can't stand silence. He'll know loud and clear that you don't want to interact and any thoughts he has of you simply being preoccupied to notice him at that moment or playing hard to get are (hopefully) crushed. THEN go about ignoring him because you've made it clear why you're not speaking to him.

    Some guys are thicker than others and may not "take the hint" even if you drop it right in his lap.
  • DaveRCF
    DaveRCF Posts: 266
    Pretty simple way to get rid of him based on your profile: You're married.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    His behavior is harrasing. Insisting she smile, not taking obvious social cues. I have women friends at the gym where we say hi and stuff but there is a big difference. If I greet someone and they are not welcoming in return, I can take a hint.

    Not everyone can read social cues. Doesn't necessarily mean he's being deliberately harassing - he might just be oblivious. In which case, the best thing is simply to tell him 'Please could you leave me alone. I don't want to talk. I come here to focus on my workout.'
  • scrumdidlly
    scrumdidlly Posts: 17 Member
    Sometimes it's not enough to hint that you're not interested. Some people just don't pick up on those signals. Be nice but honest. Tell him you're not interested and there to work out and would appreciate your space. If that doesn't work then talk to customer service or management. He's probably just not picking up on your signals.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    ipod/earbuds... that won't stop the losers from hovering behind you while you're on the elliptical or treadmill though.. & they wonder why we act like "*****es".. it's because the second you show any kindness they think it's a giant "green light" to hit on you. I'm working on putting a gym in at home where I can lift & run & stretch all I want without creepers watching.. can't wait :)

    Guys are really that obvious where they hover behind you? Really, that obvious?
  • randrews0407
    randrews0407 Posts: 216 Member
    I understand what you are experiencing...ugh, I'm a friendly person but generally an anti-social exerciser. Hopefully the headphones work for you, I catch up on my reading when on the treadmill or eliptical and having my Nook (e-reader) on the machine and my attention set directly on it didn't seem to stop my ambitious creeper. He'd get on the treadmill next to me and try to strike up conversation. He too started with the "Why so serious? You should smile more!" (is sweating and getting my heart rate up a grinning ear-to-ear activity?). It got worse when he started trying to be my unsolicited fitness coach and would say things like "I noticed you run about a 8 minute mile, possibly you should slow down and increase the incline instead."

    Who knows...maybe he was well intentioned but I didn't care to be bothered. If your creeper is one of those guys that like a challenge and see's you as playing hard to get, by brushing him off...you are simply fanning the flame / the opposite of your desired effect. Sometimes there is no alternative to being rude!
  • MariahHubert
    MariahHubert Posts: 103 Member
    He could just be a friendly person. If he's new he probably doesn't know that people don't like to be bothered.

    If I were a friendly person and just like talking I would see you as a rude person. Just tell him you don't like to talk while working out. It's not that freaking hard.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    He could just be a friendly person. If he's new he probably doesn't know that people don't like to be bothered.

    If I were a friendly person and just like talking I would see you as a rude person. Just tell him you don't like to talk while working out. It's not that freaking hard.

    Yes like I already said several times before, if he continues to bother me I will tell him just that. I try to come off as rude as possible in public places just because I don;t want people bothering me.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    can I say just because I talk to a woman at the gym doesn't mean I'm trying to get her in the sack, the gym does not have to be a hostile.

    I don't think that is what she is suggest or is bothered by. His behavior is harrasing. Insisting she smile, not taking obvious social cues. I have women friends at the gym where we say hi and stuff but there is a big difference. If I greet someone and they are not welcoming in return, I can take a hint. There is a big difference between taking and being friendly and harrasing.

    My point exactly, I can handle a simple Hi & I will say Hi as well & continue on my way. But, bugging me about not smiling & stuff like that will just really piss me off.
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    I understand what you are experiencing...ugh, I'm a friendly person but generally an anti-social exerciser. Hopefully the headphones work for you, I catch up on my reading when on the treadmill or eliptical and having my Nook (e-reader) on the machine and my attention set directly on it didn't seem to stop my ambitious creeper. He'd get on the treadmill next to me and try to strike up conversation. He too started with the "Why so serious? You should smile more!" (is sweating and getting my heart rate up a grinning ear-to-ear activity?). It got worse when he started trying to be my unsolicited fitness coach and would say things like "I noticed you run about a 8 minute mile, possibly you should slow down and increase the incline instead."

    Who knows...maybe he was well intentioned but I didn't care to be bothered. If your creeper is one of those guys that like a challenge and see's you as playing hard to get, by brushing him off...you are simply fanning the flame / the opposite of your desired effect. Sometimes there is no alternative to being rude!

    I know right lol? People assume if you aren't smiling 24/7 there must be something wrong with you. This guy is lucky he hasn't caught me on a really bad day yet. Then there will be a whole new meaning to the word rude lol
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    Thanks again everyone for all the great tips, I feel like I have a whole arsenal of defense now :smile:
  • Here is the key. You are a nice person and you don't want to hurt anyones feelings but you are going to have to take the bull by the horns on this one.

    He is probably either agressive or clueless and you don't want either!

    Be honest. I'm not interested!
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    can I say just because I talk to a woman at the gym doesn't mean I'm trying to get her in the sack, the gym does not have to be a hostile.

    I don't think that is what she is suggest or is bothered by. His behavior is harrasing. Insisting she smile, not taking obvious social cues. I have women friends at the gym where we say hi and stuff but there is a big difference. If I greet someone and they are not welcoming in return, I can take a hint. There is a big difference between taking and being friendly and harrasing.

    My point exactly, I can handle a simple Hi & I will say Hi as well & continue on my way. But, bugging me about not smiling & stuff like that will just really piss me off.

    I totally get it! You're a grown woman. You know the difference between friendly and harrassing! Unfortunately with this knucklehead you may have to be rude and/ or report him to the gym management. All the best on this. As a husband and a father of daughters, it causes me to feel like I'd like to kick some butt on your behalf. I wouldn't appreciate it if any of the women in my family were dealing with this.
  • maryjay52
    maryjay52 Posts: 557 Member
    i firmly believe in treating everyone the way you want to be treated..nothing wrong with saying something nice like.. its so nice of you to say hi but ive had a tough day and really want to spend some alone time and concentrate on my workout '. you are being honest and getting rid of them without making them feel lower than whale crap
  • DJ2120
    DJ2120 Posts: 407 Member
    i firmly believe in treating everyone the way you want to be treated..nothing wrong with saying something nice like.. its so nice of you to say hi but ive had a tough day and really want to spend some alone time and concentrate on my workout '. you are being honest and getting rid of them without making them feel lower than whale crap

    I totally agree & I wanted to be treated like I'm invisible so that how I treat strangers lol!