Would you date an overweight person? Are you?

FutureMrsWarby
FutureMrsWarby Posts: 96 Member
in Chit-Chat
Obviously this is a health and fitness site, so there are going to be plenty of "no" answers to this question. However I'm still curious to see if there are any non-shallow people in here. Shallowness of thinking might not have anything to do with it, I could see it being difficult for some people to date an unhealthy person simply due to the possibility of that person being a trigger to old habits (or forming new ones.)

I'm obviously not the fittest in the world, but my love is a great guy who isn't in perfect shape-but that doesn't change my feelings for him. That isn't to say he doesn't exercise and make effort-he does, he just isn't obsessed with it as I am.

If you are dating an overweight person (or married to them) how does it affect your habits/attitude towards them? Does it make you feel unsupported?

If you wouldn't be with an overweight partner, what are your reasons? :)
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Replies

  • FutureMrsWarby
    FutureMrsWarby Posts: 96 Member
    bump..haha.
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
    It is what is on the inside that matters, but I would want them to be healthy also.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    <--- Is self-confessed chubby chaser.
  • tmoore_20
    tmoore_20 Posts: 49 Member
    I'm overweight but I've always tended to go for people who aren't overweight, I really don't know why. I think I would date someone who was moderately overweight but not obese because I think that would affect his quality of life which would then affect the relationship.
  • djc315
    djc315 Posts: 585 Member
    It doesn't matter to me. But I swear I'm single because of it lol. I know that isn't true, I've been in relationships, it is just that most guys my age ARE shallow. At least the guys I know.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I guess you could say I'm with an overweight person (6'3, 250) and I'm definitely overweight (5'8 218) but I fell in love with him at his current size and just because I've decided to take up exercising/eating right doesn't mean that he has to too. Frankly, he doesn't care to exercise at all.

    It wouldn't be right/fair of me to force my personal will upon him when it's not something that he values. It's like pressing a new found religious belief or sports team on someone. Just because you've changed in the relationship, doesn't mean that they need to. These are the choices we make for ourselves.

    Now he does help me on eating. That he does great on. It's just all the damn beer we brew. :grumble:
  • cdpark617
    cdpark617 Posts: 316 Member
    I agree it is what is on the inside that matters, I tend to prefer less stuff on the inside, but I would date anyone I am attracted to.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I don't mind if a girl is a little overweight as long as she takes care of herself. It's laziness that is more of a turn off than anything else. I understand that while I am very into health and fitness it isn't everyone's priority.
  • tyrantduck
    tyrantduck Posts: 387 Member
    i'm classified as morbidly obese and my husband is classified as obese. i've been much thinner and dated obese people before. personality matters more to me than just what's on the outside. sure i'd be worried about their health, but I would never bring it up in conversation. now the only time weight ever comes up in a convo between my husband and i is if he complains he's fat. i tell him to shut up because he eats like a pig and it's his own fault and he won't exercise ^_^ then i strut out to the living room and hop on the wii fit board and crank out over 1000 cals in about 90 minutes.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    I admit to being a "Chubby Chaser"! I prefer big and muscled to big and flabby any day of the week, though!

    However, I am married to a guy that was thin when I met him - gained a few pounds over the years with me - and has now dropped all of it PLUS (also with me).

    I like big guys, though. Always have.
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
    i am overweight and would date over weight, but not morbidly obese.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Depends. Partially on what's inside, and also how overweight they are. Can we be active and do fun things? Are they my soulmate? Is their weight always a hindrance, or is it never an issue? I'll have to live with their health problems, too. And likely take care of them in old age as they're suffering the long term consequences of years of being overweight.
  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
    I would, its about whats on the inside, i mean that gorgeous Adonis next door (he doesnt exist but lets pretend!) could be morbidly obese in a couple years time...
    x
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I have in the past. My current partner of 10 years is very fit and active. I think he's been a great influence on me. I'm not sure where I'd end up had I married someone non-active.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't think it's shallow to not be attracted to a certain physical trait. If someone is attacted to an overweight person but won't date that person because of being embarrassed or something, that's shallow. But simply not being attracted to that physical trait is not shallow.

    All that said, I have dated overweight men, but I think I would have trouble being attracted to a truly morbidly obese person.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
    I met my husband and I was overweight. He never had an issue with my weight and fell in love with me fat. Of course I am losing weight for myself, but one of the reasons why I am losing weight is for him. I cannot wait until I can start looking hot for him. He deserves it.
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    My boyfriend was somewhere around 300 pounds early in our relationship. He's about 5'10". After 3 years of dating we moved in together and he lost about 100 pounds in a little over a year. lol Just because I was making his food. And because we were poor. So yes, I would date someone what was overweight, but that's not the whole story I guess.

    I should add that early in our relationship I was about 170ish, and I ballooned up to about 220 over 6 years or so. When we moved in together I GAINED weight while he lost a ton of it. Funny how that works out. But now in the last year I've taken charge of my health and am sitting today at about 164. He's at 193 now. We're both happier and healthier than ever now! And only moving forward!
  • comogirl
    comogirl Posts: 154 Member
    I have always been more attracted to bigger men. I have been overweight for the last 6 or 7 yrs but was very slim prior to that. I am 26 now and getting very close to a healthy weight (I'm actually looking pretty slim). My husband has lost a bunch of weight as well. I am very attracted to him at any weight. I still gravitate more towards being attracted to heavier men.
  • babygirl_70
    babygirl_70 Posts: 75
    It's what is on the inside that counts
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    I would date an active overweight person if I was single. My wife is a runner in great shape but as long as she was active I'm ok with whatever weight she is. By active I'm referring to hiking/walking/biking/bedroom and generally not being opposed to doing stuff outside of watching TV/reading.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    I'm technically "obese" and I'd hit it if I were female...

    we talking BMI definitions or eyeball tests?
  • Queen_Adrock
    Queen_Adrock Posts: 130 Member
    I dated a guy for 5 years who was morbidly obese. He was so shy and thought I wouldn't like him because of his weight...not true. He was (key emphasis on was) a good guy, so I could look past it. He did drag me down into his unhealthy eating until we both said "stop" and started eating better. He eventually got the surgery and lost a lot of weight.

    To me, all that matters is willingness to be healthy. Even if they struggle with eating well, a committment to trying is what matters. My hubby now is ridiculously supportive about my weight loss goals. He makes a huge effort to buy vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains, and a ton of spices, and finds interesting and new recipes to make for the both of us. That's why I married him! :)
  • FutureMrsWarby
    FutureMrsWarby Posts: 96 Member
    I'm technically "obese" and I'd hit it if I were female...

    we talking BMI definitions or eyeball tests?

    I guess I should clarify that I mean by eyesight lol
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 999 Member
    I actually prefer my guy a little "husky", not saying grossly overweight....but a bit of a belly doesn't bother me.

    I've always enjoyed eating healthy meals and being active. However, if their weight got in the way of doing activities we enjoyed it would cause a problem. Diet (what you eat, not necessarily being on a "diet") can be a big issue in a relationship. When I was married I always tried to incorporate healthy foods (wheat pasta, vegetarian meals etc) and my ex refused to eat it (tough *kitten* on him, I know)....but it did cause problems in the relationship. I'm dating now and if I find someone that can't be supportive of me going to the gym and eating healthy I can promise you that he won't be around long. I'm not saying he has to do that too, but he needs to be mindful of what a healthy lifestyle is and try make sure he is as healthy as he can be.
  • mrstravisjones
    mrstravisjones Posts: 104 Member
    My husband is taller, but thinner than me. He always has been. When we met, I was pushing 200 and he may have been 160 soaking wet. I'm 5'9" and he is 6'. Even at my absolute lightest since being with him, I felt I was very thin (173lbs, size 8), he was still thinner. I gained the weight back and am currently working my way back down. I think my husband is trying to bulk up a few lbs.

    I guess all of that to say that I've never dated an overweight person, but I sure am glad that my husband decided to. :-)

    I'm not saying I wouldn't have dated an overweight person, it just didn't happen that way. But I do know that I am not attracted to larger muscles at all. So I wouldn't have dated a man with huge muscles everywhere.
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Overweight, but not obese/morbidly obese.

    But it all comes down to attraction in the end (and of course personality a close second). I'll give anyone a shot when both those are satisfied, weight notwithstanding.

    They just can't be lazy, opposed to regular exercise and healthy eating. Those people tend to be thin(ner). So...
  • FutureMrsWarby
    FutureMrsWarby Posts: 96 Member
    They just can't be lazy, opposed to regular exercise and healthy eating. Those people tend to be thin(ner). So...

    agreed!! those fast metabolism folks take it for granted! lol
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Yes and yes. I like all sorts of shapes and sizes :wink:
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
    yes i would....i like some meat on on a girl :P
  • CricketWhiskers
    CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
    Before I started losing weight I would have said that weight didn't matter at all and I would be with someone of any size but I've noticed that as my weight changes so does my perspective. Just as a relationship between someone who is very religious and an athiest would be strained at times I think it can be hard to have a partner who didn't share in a lifestyle choice as encompassing as health and wellness.

    When my husband and I met I was 282lbs and he was of average weight. Neither of us were active and our lifestyles were very sedentary. Once my husband got on with the Sheriff's dept and lost some weight and toned up I had my "ah hah!" moment and started eating healthy and exercising.

    The more I did it the more I loved how great I felt from eating foods that contributed to my health and that post exercise high. I loved even more that my husband was making that transition with me not only by improving our eating habits but having a "date night" run or going over produce together in the store.

    Now I run and exercise 5 days a week and one of my favorite things is exercising with my husband. I don't think I would be as happy in a relationship where we didn't share that common interest. Would I still love my husband even if he didn't exercise with me? Of course, but I think we enjoy a closer and deeper bond because we share a similar outlook and lifestyle.

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