I WILL be 155

I was a fat kid. Probably because I lived on soda and ate snacks constantly. Seriously, it was not outside the norm for me to go to school, come home and eat a bowl of sour cream and onion dip, then overportion myself with dinner. Hell, I used to eat 9 pancakes for breakfast like it was nothing, so long as there was bacon next to, of course.

The very worst weight I can remember was a year after college in 2005. I was tipping the scales at 225, wearing 38-inch pants. It was embarrassing. So I bought an elliptical and worked hard to get down to about 180 and 32-inch jeans.

About a year later, I struggled with depression and found myself at the unhealthy side of 169 (skinny, sickly, not eating, etc). And that's when I started drinking heavily. Add an interest in cooking to the mix, and I got up to 210 last January. Ever since then, I've been between 200 and 210 regularly, but unhappily.

Right now, I'm healthy. No depression for awhile, alcohol under control. I work out almost every day be it through yoga or running, which I took up in 2010 when I quit smoking. I'm also "somewhat happy." I'm here so that I can stop saying "somewhat."

After weighing myself earlier this year, I decided to get serious about losing weight and being happier. I'm happy to say I've lost about 10 lbs. since then with a renewed drive and some recharged batteries. I'm also ready to change my diet permanently and, when it's time to treat myself, I still want to be working out to make up for it. I want to be thin for the first time in my life. That 169 was sickly because I wasn't taking care of myself. My goal weight is to be a balanced 155.

Wish me luck!

- Ryan