I honestly feel like I can't do this.

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Replies

  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    You most certainly can do this.

    Pick a reasonable calorie range for the day. With exercise, I'm getting about 1500 per day. If that doesn't work, I'll start slowly cutting back on calories and/or increase my exercise. I know myself well enough to know when I need to eat and schedule my meals accordingly (8-11-2-after 5). Since you're a night owl, your schedule is going to be different. Observe yourself and your patterns and work up a plan that suits YOU. It doesn't have to suit anyone else.

    Find more nutritious ways to have your favorites. You can buyer lower fat hot dogs and put them into a whole grain bun, for example. Lower fat cheese on whole grain macaroni. If you don't like it as much - good. You'll eat less of it.

    Good luck. You have a lot of fellow strugglers. We don't get fat without developing bad habits to break. (mine was eating between meals; I don't allow it anymore but do slip up when I'm tired and stressed)
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    And if you like to eat at midnight.....EAT AT MIDNIGHT !! just eat like I mentioned above and push your breakfast to 9am etc.... it does NOT matter what time of day you eat !!
  • rieann84
    rieann84 Posts: 511 Member
    I agree with everyone in this thread saying you need to eat more. Only 800 calories would leave me famished by midnight, and when i'm famished..I make bad food choices or give in to cravings. You HAVE the strength to say no to cravings, you just need to equip yourself with satisfying and filling foods. Eating so little and expecting to say no to tempting foods later is like going onto a battlefield with no weapon!
  • Strangelyinsane
    Strangelyinsane Posts: 120 Member
    I never had success with weight loss until I began paying attention to all areas of my life. Mind, Body, and Spirit. If I just focus on the calories and dieting, my spiritual weakness and mental chaos will drive me back to my old behaviors: comforting myself with food and other things. I can't develop new behaviors by only addressing one area of my life. Try making diet a part of an overall change of mind, body and spirit. Exercise the body, exercise the mind, enlarge your spirit. Step out of your comfort zones. Good luck!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Go to bed earlier and eat AT LEAST 1200 cals :)


    ^^^^This! Severe calories deficit isn't healthy and it's just setting yourself up for failure. Of course you're thinking about food, you only ate 800 calories!!

    - find the right calorie deficit for you. It's somewhere above your BMR (basal metabolic rate) and below your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure). 1500 is a good safe start or Here is a link to a decent calculator to help you with that. http://scoobysworkshop.com/.
    - I'm not a big fan on putting a timer on when you can and can't eat but late night binging is another way to set yourself up for failure. You should probably limit your intake to no food after a certain time....go to bed early.
    - get some exercise
    - re-read the title of your post 'I honestly feel like I can't do this'. Even your title is setting yourself up for failure. Do you want to do this?? Browse the success forums for inspiration and motivation and make your decision. Do you want to be fit and happy or sad, fat and binging in the middle of the night. Tough Love, sorry! But YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • karabff
    karabff Posts: 98
    First off don't give up!!! And I agree with everyone else up your cals-my biggest challange is night eating-I have a sleep disorder so I am up late each nite ( I am now making myself go to bed earlier even if I lay there an yea dream about food) an I had developed a horrible habit of eating at nite only: this is what I have chg since starting in Sept-I make weekly goals for myself-I take away one bad put one good in-I try to eat a healthy but more filling dinner at nite-I am working towards 6 meals a day spread out thru the day-somedays I am on target somedays I am not-I just keep trying to improve daily-I work out-because I have fibromyalgia there are days the flare ups prevent this-but I don't give up an as soon as I can I start moving again-my exercise time has already increased since starting-I hate this the most-I am learning to cook-no more pre-pkg foods-no more fast food-an when those temptations hit an yes they still hit me daily I go look at my goal outfits an my disgusting "before" pix an tell myself do you want your life back? Do you want to be healthy-some days I still give in but they are getting fewer an fewer-your body will adjust if you don't give up! You really can do this-cheering for you
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    did the OP possibly mean she went over her daily intake by 800? if so, that's a totally different story.
  • Lisa760
    Lisa760 Posts: 113 Member
    The beginning is always rough, don't beat yourself up over it. Accept the fact that this isn't going to be easy, but it's soooo going to be worth it. Instead of starting your diet right away, maybe you need to come up with a plan first. Make a list of all the foods you love, crave, and keep in the house. Look up the nutritional values for each of those foods. You might be surprised at how many calories/sodium/etc. are in each. Make a list of alternatives for each of those foods that you can actually live with that are healthier choices. Taking the time to have a game plan will help you succeed. By the way, that's a great picture of you in the red shirt. Print it out and stick it to the refrigerator for motivation. And remember - this is a process. It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen if you invest time and effort into it.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    did the OP possibly mean she went over her daily intake by 800? if so, that's a totally different story.

    She may have, just went back and re-read it, even so, I still stick by what I said.

    I can be hungry at midnight after eating 800 more calories than I should have if what I ate was chocolate, cake, kraft dinner or hotdogs.... those things MAKE me hungry
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    Yes...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!! Don't say that you can't. You are going to have some tough days...it happens to everyone. And this is a lifestyle change....this isn't something that you can do for just a period of time and then you don't have to do it anymore. You have to be mentally ready to make the necessary changes in order to obtain your goal.

    First....eating 800 is too little....I know there have been a lot of people that have said that here....but it's true. The minimum should be 1200....at the least. I also have seen someone else on this thread post a link to determine how many calories you should be eating each day. Be sure to use that.

    Second....you don't have to deny yourself anything because that will just make you want it more. You want to have that mac and cheese....go ahead. Perhaps you can find a recipie that will make it a bit more healthy....or don't eat an entire box of it. You just have to adjust how much you eat. Want the hot dog....OK...perhaps eat it without the bun or find a turkey dog. Don't deny...just be smarter on the choices you make.

    Third....when you get those hunger pangs.....drink water, take a walk, call a friend, do something for at least 20 minutes to see if that pang has gone away. Sometimes it is a signal of being dehydrated....that's why you need to drink water. Ice water is better.
    Then if in 20 minutes if it has not gone away....then grab something that is fiberous...that will fill you up.

    Fourth....don't get discouraged. When you first start out you actually might gain some weight before you loose it. What is key is taking your measurements....you could be loosing inches....

    Fifth....exercise, exercise, just move! Now does this mean that you need to go to a gym? No...it can be as simple as taking a walk. I have a very bad back and my exercise choices are very limited....but I walk. I love to do Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home DVD's....you can get them at Wal-Mart, Target, or find some used copies online at Amazon. You can do up to 5 miles in one hour of walking at home. And trust me...you do get a workout....and all you need to do is walk.

    Finally, sixth......be good to yourself. As I said before, do not get discouraged if you do not see immediate results. For every small milestone do something special for yourself....a manicure, pedicure, something small but you would consider a small reward for your efforts.

    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!
  • OfficiallySexyVal
    OfficiallySexyVal Posts: 492 Member
    I struggled for years literally to try to get this weight off! I have been so unhappy for so long and it seemed like everytime I would lose a little bit of weight I got discouraged and put it back on again. I felt hopeless, I honestly didn't ever think I would be happy with myself.
    My life made a turn for the better after I had my son! I knew the father of my child would never be willing to play sports and run around with him so I knew I had to change my life. Not only for me but for my son as well. So that he can have the best mom possible.
    I made a commitment to myself and to him and I am bound to stick to it! I have been on a 1200 cal diet for 8 months now and I have lost almost 60lbs. It feels great, I am almost half way to my goal weight.
    Feel free to add me for support! You can do this, you just have to want it bad enough!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    did the OP possibly mean she went over her daily intake by 800? if so, that's a totally different story.

    :noway: ruh roh!
  • superchunk17
    superchunk17 Posts: 36 Member
    it is wierd. i had a similar problem, maybe not as bad as yours but i always overate. not only did i overeat, i made terrible food choices. i did it because i enjoyed the taste and got pleasure from the food while i was eating. however, after i was done, i felt like crap and would be mad at myself. this feeling always lasted longer than the pleasure. i would go to bed telling my self that tomorrow i would change and layout this huge (unrealistic) workout and diet plan in my head (no carbs, or some crazy diet plan, etc.) and would be really motivated for a few days. it wouldnt be long until i would tell myself i earned a treat or cheat meal; i would eat some bad foods, get off the wagon and be right back where i started. this would usually happen on the weekend and then on monday, i would be telling myself the same BS....Monday i will start fresh. it just didnt work. i am by no means a doctor or a food addiction specialist etc... but what i have noticed personally is, if you are addicted to food, you need to find a new addiction. this may sound crazy, but it has worked for me. i found a few new addictions, this website is one of them. it keeps me busy and is surrounded by motivated and motivational people. i also found running; when i started running, i couldnt even run a couple miles without stopping. five months later, i run around 30 miles a week, have met a ton of new people, lost over 40 lbs, and completed my first (of many to come) half marathon. i also enjoy eating healthy foods, this website is great for that. I like seeing that i met all of my nutrutional goals and was under my calories. I still eat the occasional cupcake, cheesesteak, or bad meal and i still enjoy a nice glass of scotch or beer, but i make sure that i still meet my calorie goals. i dont make promises to myself that i wont eat this or drink that, i dont cut out foods that i like, i just eat them in moderation now, and when i do, i dont binge or overindulge. I have found that by doing this, the cupcakes taste even sweeter and the beers go down smoother than ever and the best part of all, i dont have the "hate myself" feeling when i am done. I wish you the best of luck. I have read many posts on this website that i found to be helpful, i hope my post can return the favor. feel free to add me if you like!
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    ^^^ great advice !
  • Shua89
    Shua89 Posts: 144 Member
    I have to agree with the others that you need more calories during the day so that you aren't physically hungry at night. I eat about 1200 calories a day and that works well for me, for others it's not enough so you're going to need to find your balance.

    Eat filling but healthy foods. I've found that having soup for lunch is really filling but still pretty low in calories (although high in sodium so make wise choices when buying them).

    For those times where I can't think of anything else but food I will give in to the craving BUT I will limit the portions to what a real serving is supposed to be and then eat it very slowly making sure that I savor the taste of it. This satisfies the physical craving as well as the mental craving. Over time those cravings do go away, especially if you limit sugar intake. For some reason sugar really increases food cravings.

    Eat protein. Fish or chicken are lean proteins that are very filling and keep me going for a long time.

    Eat fiber. Like protein it keeps you feeling full. When I want a chocolate bar I grab a Fiber One chocolate granola bar. They taste great and one is more than enough.

    If you still can't beat the craving get out of the house (ok, at midnight this might be a great option but...), go for a walk, remove yourself from the situation where food is only a few feet away. Keep walking until it passes.

    If all of this still fails then you might want to think about therapy (but that's always a last option for me). Sometimes there are mental blocks in our lives that we need help to deal with properly.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    800 calories by midnight??

    only 800 calories?

    That is my breakfast and lunch usually. Then I have snacks and dinner too. 800 calories is not nearly enough for you to feel satiated. Of course you can't stop thinking about food, that's because you are HUNGRY.

    You don't have to starve or go on some radical diet in order to lose weight. All you have to do is stop overeating. There is a BIG difference between gluttony and starvation. It's called normal eating.

    Eat breakfast.
    Eat a morning snack.
    Eat lunch.
    Eat an afternoon snack.
    Eat dinner.

    Exercise 3-5 days a week. I exercise daily but that's just me, I NEED my morning walk at least to get me going for the day.

    I understand you are a night owl, but maybe consider going to bed at an earlier hour so you are not up in the night battling this demon?
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Take it one day at a time and reach out to your friends for support!!!
  • schondell
    schondell Posts: 556 Member
    Eat 1500 cals a day and workout! You'll slim down in no time.
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member
    Right after I read this I thought fine eat what you wantAnd exercise. It is so hard for me I have been charting at least, not exercising enough. Start by charting for a month, look at it a month in see about exercising cals off gradually so you stick it out that is what I have to try, I was the same wieght for many many years and when you get to a certain age it will get harder just the rule of nature I guess.
  • my advice: go to a behavioral therapist. they can teach you great ways to fight the behaviors you're displaying. good luck dear- its extremely difficult.
  • JessWolf1002
    JessWolf1002 Posts: 82 Member
    Don't deprive yourself of the foods you love! There are alternatives to hotdogs and mac & cheese. Buy turkey dogs and whole wheat buns or I like to use a whole wheat tortilla instead of a bun. For mac & cheese, buy some whole wheat pasta and some low fat alfredo sauce. When you deprive yourself of the foods you love, there is more room for failure because you will end up binge eating and then feeling guilty.
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member
    Good luck
  • Like everyone has said on here, 800 calories is not enough intake., your body will start to store food as fat because it is saying you are starving. Your body is craving the nutrients it needs, and when you get those cravings it is usually for the wrong food. Up your intake....no less then 1200 calories. If you need to snack at midnight try eating almonds and something high in protein.

    We all have those times when we "crave" this or that.....and thta is fine..learn to eat those cravings in moderation or reroute those feeling by eating something close to it in fewer calories....like ice cream....eat a diet fudge bar.....it's all a mind game....and once your mind can wrap around what works for you it will get easier....
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    You can do it, sweety!

    I find that I needed to get into rhythem, for both sleeping and eating- it makes managing ones body easier!

    As everyone's saying, hit at least 1200 calories net but always try and get as close as possible to your target. If it means it, remove the treats and nibbles in another room to where you generally snack or just so out of the way it's not at all easy to go get them. Try to remove sugar rich foods from your diet and go for fiber and protein as they fill you up for longer- also make it a bit of a ritual when you're cooking or preparing your meals it makes you appreciate them more then just a random bag of chocolate you got off the shelf.

    When I stayed up till two or three am (playing world of warcraft!) I tended to snack to stay awake- when I started sleeping at a more regular time (going to sleep at about 11pm waking up about 7am) meant that I got the right amount of time and I avoid the nibbling hours.
  • flowersofdawn
    flowersofdawn Posts: 47 Member
    If you find that you can't get to sleep even going to bed earlier, I have tried melatonin (just one tablet) and it helps me fall alseep without having that drugged grogginess in the morning.

    Combine more sleep with more calories will help you equal out and start to see where you need your calories most (early morning, mid day, evening).

    Also, I think there is a new mom or pregnancy thread on here somewhere as well (if I read your OP correctly, you mentioned pregnancy?).

    You can do this. One day at a time. :o)
  • MrsSassyPants
    MrsSassyPants Posts: 223 Member
    I had a hot dog with bun yesterday. It fit in my diary no problem. Eat the foods you like when possible. It's important for me to feel satisfied. I don't always eat super healthy but all in all it works out pretty good. Start educating yourself on calories. The longer you are here the better you will get. Allow yourself to make mistakes. We all do. The more you log the more you'll learn. I am a night owl and I eat at midnight...no big deal.
  • rrheo
    rrheo Posts: 1
    Hiya

    Noo 800 calories you will go into starvation mode and fund it harder to loose weight, start off With 1200 calories for two weeks then up it 1400 for another two weeks I have lost half a stone in two weeks ! I did the rosemary Connelly diet and this is what she recommends, I'm still hungry but can control it, good luck!
  • WABeachWalker
    WABeachWalker Posts: 133 Member
    I felt the same way when I first started in July. I had a belief that I couldn't possibly lose weight because my metabolism doesn't work like it should. I have a sluggish thyroid, too, which doesn't help. The good news is that if you consistently work the MFP program, you will lose weight. I'm pretty sure I didn't lose a lot of weight in the beginning, but I've had steady weight loss over the last three months and I'm really happy about that.

    Maybe you could click on the "goals" tab and re-set your weight loss goal for one pound a week or 1.5 pounds per week for now. You need to be really patient with yourself, too. Your plan needs to be so sustainable that you could do this for years if you had to. I tried a 900 calorie plan a few years ago and felt so awful that I had to abandon it. Give the MFP plan a chance to work.

    You can do this--and you're worth it. Add me as a friend if you'd like.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I used to feel this way, I'd tell myself, "I'd rather eat what I want, drink what I want and be heavy and happy" But I wasn't happy. I was heavy and let food fool me into thinking I was happy.

    I wish I could tell you what changed for me, but I can't. My mindset just changed and I made the decision to DO THIS!

    That was my mindset after my last failed diet. Because I was eating too little, and being heavier and eating what I wanted was a lot more appealing than being hungry to try to be thinner.

    What changed for me was that this wasn't about weight loss. At least not at first. I joined here fully believing I wouldn't lose weight, because I had such a hard time in the past and I was older now. I just wanted to be healthier. I wanted to be able to run a 5k. That was the benchmark for me... if I could run a 5k in a semi-respectable time, then I was healthy, dammit, no matter what the scale or BMI said.

    But along the way, following MFP, listening to people on the forums, I did lose. And it wasn't that hard, because I wasn't starving myself. I didn't eat that much differently than I did before... just a little better. Less boxed foods (Hamburger Helper, etc) and more balanced healthy meals. I still had pasta, but I mixed in a pile of vegetables. (Even my super-finicky husband admits: even broccoli is edible if covered in vodka sauce!) I still allowed myself pizza and goodies, when they fit my calorie goals. If I wanted pizza, I had to work for it.

    In the past, I ate under 1000 calories to lose weight. That's what I thought I had to do. I was wrong. I ate almost twice as much this time, and had better, faster and more satisfying results. I hate the phrase "eat more to weigh less," because it's not about eating MORE, it's about eating RIGHT.

    Set your goals appropriately. Aim to reach your goals, especially calories, protein and fats, not stay under them. Get regular exercise, and eat your exercise calories (unless you're using a percentage below TDEE approach). Plan your meals and snacks and stick with it. Track your progress through more than just the scale. Make fitness goals. Go by how clothes fit, measurements and photos.

    And most importantly... don't quit. It's better to lose a half pound a week over two years than it is to lose 5 pounds a week and quit after three weeks.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Go to bed earlier and eat AT LEAST 1200 cals :)

    I do not know your height or RMR but I'd have to sort of agree with this comment based on what you are saying.

    Even though 1200 is such a stupid number to get stuck on. What you need to eat for a deficit is relative to your RMR. If you are short you really don't have much room for up compared to the 1200. If you are taller you will have a higher RMR and can go up or down and still be in a deficit (way above 1200) so you can lose no matter what. All that matters is a calorie deficit.

    To tell everyone eat more is wrong.

    To tell everyone to eat less is wrong.

    To find the exact amount of calories for you to be in a sustainable calorie deficit is correct. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others. Some people have emotional eating disorders and it comes into play. Even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such and everyone is different.

    You just need to find the correct calories for YOU to be healthy and sustainable and and still lose weight. It might require some experimentation and tremendous patience. You can always notch up and down by 100 until you find what is sustainable and still allows you to lose weight.

    If you have emotional eating issues than you are not going to be able to handle such a deep deficit and if you eat to low it will backfire. A better strategy is to eat at a shallower deficit, and sometimes give yourself a break from the deficit and eat at maintenance. This is not going backwards, but eating to low and then binging because you can't sustain it is going backwards. It's better to stay forwards even if it is slower. The tortoise wins this race in the end.

    Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

    Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

    The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.