When you want to lose and your partner wants to gain???

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katg73
katg73 Posts: 77 Member
in Recipes
Hello all,

I wanted to see if anyone had any secrets or tips to helping achieve opposing goals in a relationship regarding the meals you have at home. My boyfriend has been blessed with such crazy insane genes that his core is naturally hotter all the time and he's always burning calories no matter what! And I, of course, was not - I'm trying to lose weight, in case you didn't get that. Anyway, what I have been doing is trying to cook separate meals for us most nights, but MAN... it gets really time consuming!!!!!!!!

If anyone has any experience with this or has ideas as to how I can make the cooking part a lil more efficient, PLEASE share your ideas!

*Sidebar: he works long hours so I pretty much do all the cooking at night.
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Replies

  • tstancom
    tstancom Posts: 47 Member
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    Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
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    Ditto, I think cooking one healthy tasty meal that he gets a larger portion of (or a ton of cheese on top :-) ) is the way forward. I think having to cook two separate meals might not be feasible in the long run, apart from the extra effort it probably costs more, wastes more (unless you are highly organised) and takes the fun out of eating together (for me at least).

    My partner isn't quite as strict as me and has a more mobile job, so always has an extra snack or two on the side or after dinner ... is working well so far! :-) Good luck!
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I would make lean protein such as chicken or turkey or top loin and add lots of veggies for you, veggies and lots of carbs for him.

    For things like bolognese or chili I would serve him 2 portions and a side salad, for you huge salad as a starter and then 1 portion of the main dish. Also you get to drink water, and he juice, beer or whatever.

    For desert fruit and few nuts for you, for him fruit and big serving of nuts.

    This is what I was doing while I was dieting. I needed to make 400-600 kcal dinner for me, and 1000-1200 for him...
  • Chrissieneave
    Chrissieneave Posts: 99 Member
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    Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.

    This is what I do for my other half, who is also wanting to gain weight. It makes it sooooooooo much easier by doing this! But I also have the willpower to say NO if he wants to snack on anything at nights :)
  • dcurzon
    dcurzon Posts: 653 Member
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    this is my household. i need the big calories, she doesnt. But we eat the same meals (evening only, im at work all day). I just give her less :o) If the boy-child is having what we have, then it comes out from her portion.
  • anna473
    anna473 Posts: 49 Member
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    I am in this same situation. We eat the same thing in the evenings, my husband just has a larger serving and added carbs. He still needs the vitamins, especially considering the high calorie carb heavy choices he makes at lunch! He also drinks juice or milk while I drink water.

    I do allow in my daily calories to have a small portion (usually 50 to 200 calories) of whatever awesome sweet treat he has planned for supper. I don't intend to cut out anything I couldn't go forever without!
  • keni88
    keni88 Posts: 22
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    likes been previously mentioned servings sizes will be the key, as well try cooking 'meats' seperately so you can adjust the servings to your individual macros, eg he can have loads more protein and you can have more veg n sauce.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    He can eat what I am eating or he can make something for himself. It is not my job to take care of him.
  • llama12345
    llama12345 Posts: 17
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    I'm in the same situation! It's nearly impossible for my bf to gain weight while I only have to look at a slice of pizza to gain weight. I used to make all the meals in our house. They were always fairly healthy, but usually rather carb heavy (which my body doesn't seem to appreciate), so I would just try and eat less. This never really worked because I was just never satisfied. Since September I have stopped making dinner for him completely, I make my own dinner every night and he makes his. I've lost weight, gained muscle, and have honestly not felt this good about myself in a long time. If you can get your SO to start making his own food, my suggestion would be give that a try. If he's ridiculously stubborn like my bf though, it might take a week or so before he realizes I'm actually not going to make him dinner and he's going to have to do it himself - no matter how much he begs :P. I will say it's nice sharing the responsibility of meals and dishes, and I think he actually likes taking on more responsibility in the relationship and relying on me less. I hope everything works out for you!
  • ElliieMental
    ElliieMental Posts: 189
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    We have exactly the same problem in our house!

    Not to mention the fact that healthy food is very expensive so when i try to eat healthy and buy good stuff in - the rate which he eats it is just too expensive. Each time i cook up something that should go six ways - I get one portion and he generally eats the rest!

    Its no wonder i went off the rails really.

    As a previous poster said, definitely use the cards to bulk up his meal. Cook something for you both and just fill his plate with pasta, rice, chips whatever - in our house we were cooking three meals due to a fussy son in the equation too!!
  • celiason81
    celiason81 Posts: 57 Member
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    We do the same in my house, or try to: Same meal plan, different portion sizes. And he and the kids usually get some delicious pasta/rice/potatoes/carbs that I replace with an extra helping of whatever veggie for me.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.

    This is right on I think. Cook a meal both of you can eat but allow him to have more. I'd guess he probably doesn't want to gain FAT (I've dated guys with super fast metabolisms and its usually wanting to gain muscle and not look twiggy...but not get a gut lol). So maybe (if he doesn't) he should work out more to bulk up? While you slim down :)
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
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    Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
    This. Portion size and he can have something calorie-dense that you don't eat. How about a baked potato? 5 minutes in the microwave oven roughly (depending on your oven) and he can put on some butter or cheese. An easy, almost effort-free high cal addition to any meal of lean meats and veggies!
  • lollyish
    lollyish Posts: 75 Member
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    I want to lose weight and my partner wants to gain. We live together, and generally because of work, I eat dinner with him. We usually stick to proteins and vegetables at dinner. So chicken and veges. He may have more and his veges may be different to mine. (So chicken and potatoes, corn etc for him and chicken and zucchini and broccoli for me) If he wants to have hungry jacks or any other take out, I ignore it, or he eats it out. So I avoid the temptation haha.
  • pandorakick
    pandorakick Posts: 901 Member
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    I second the idea to just cook healthy meals you can eat and give your partner bigger portions. On top of that you could add some of the following to his portion:

    Cheese
    Nuts
    Avocado,
    Mayonaise
    Olive oil sprinkling
    Seeds like sunflower seeds
    Cream in sauces

    When eating chicken, you could go for an oven baked skin less breast, a large chicken leg with skin could be perfect for him. For dessert you could have low fat yoghurt with some fruit. In a similar vein, he could go for the full fat version with a scoop of peanut or almond butter in it.

    Hope this helps!
  • es2189
    es2189 Posts: 142 Member
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    My husband and I (well, boyfriend then) were in this position a couple years ago. We would generally eat the same thing and he would eat more, or I would make meat and vegetables for both of us and then add a carb for him. He would also drink a protein drink packed with calories (milk, peanut butter, granola/oatmeal, whey protein, banana) right before dinner. That's an easy way to get quick calories.
  • katg73
    katg73 Posts: 77 Member
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    I second the idea to just cook healthy meals you can eat and give your partner bigger portions. On top of that you could add some of the following to his portion:

    Cheese
    Nuts
    Avocado,
    Mayonaise
    Olive oil sprinkling
    Seeds like sunflower seeds
    Cream in sauces

    When eating chicken, you could go for an oven baked skin less breast, a large chicken leg with skin could be perfect for him. For dessert you could have low fat yoghurt with some fruit. In a similar vein, he could go for the full fat version with a scoop of peanut or almond butter in it.

    Hope this helps!

    This is definitely an idea I can use! I've been slowly adding peanut butter to things for him, but I started running out of ideas. I already tried the same meal/larger portions, but the way he eats is sort of how kids eat... large, excited bites that lead to him taking a break in the middle of eating, which can last 30-60 minutes! At which point, if he takes too long, he doesn't want to eat anymore. He's literally taking a break from his meal right now LOL. So the ideas you suggest are ones I think I can manage to squeeze in before he gets full. Thanks so much!
  • katg73
    katg73 Posts: 77 Member
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    Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
    This. Portion size and he can have something calorie-dense that you don't eat. How about a baked potato? 5 minutes in the microwave oven roughly (depending on your oven) and he can put on some butter or cheese. An easy, almost effort-free high cal addition to any meal of lean meats and veggies!

    Baked potato!!! I like that, thanks so much!
  • purplekitty13
    purplekitty13 Posts: 21
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    Portion sizes and add-ons such as protein shakes, baked potato, cheese, etc. are great ideas. Calorie dense items such as meal bars and ensure or glucerna shakes can be used to augment calories with nutrition. (and thanks for the ideas!)

    Just watch over time as his metabolism may change as he gets older. I've known my fair share of people who could eat anything he or she wanted and seemed to never gain weight, but once they hit a certain age, that all changed.
  • acuratlsd
    acuratlsd Posts: 228
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    He is a big boy, tell him to cook his own foods.

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