is this normal? What do guys like?

Options
claireHslats
claireHslats Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
Is it normal/bad/right, to feel pressurised to get your body as best as it can be for your boyfriend?

Sounds a little silly, but sometimes i just never no what he thinks or what he likes, and im too scared to go on about it and ask, sounds pathetic really. But he's tall and not exactly the biggest guy, but he's constantly trying to gain work and he does try alot. But hes the classic, skinny jean type of guy. I just feel sometimes people compare us, or i feel im the bigger one. or maybe im not trying hard enough for him..

What do guys like..
«134

Replies

  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Options
    It's natural to hope your partner likes how you look but he's already dating you. Chances are he likes you just as you are.
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    Options
    You shouldnt want to lose weight for your boyfriend... But yet you never wanna give up looking your best.

    I hate when I'm "bigger" than my husband, or even feel bigger so I understand that.
    My husband is a marine, works out 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I have to workout 5-6 days to feel like I'm trying as much as him...yet I'm coming around to the fact that I'm not giving up on myself, I workout when I can its not my job like his.

    You have to do what feels right for you. Like everyone on this site, everyone is different and losing weight differently.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    Options
    you may be in the beginning of your relationship, and it's normal to feel a bit "shy" and unsure.

    but as penrbrown said, if he's dating you, he probably already likes you as you are!

    if you're really worried about it, maybe talk with him? it could lead to a great conversation about self-esteem and your relationship.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    Options
    Guys like girls that are happy with themselves.
    So whatever it is that makes you happy, do that.

    Since he got with you, obviously he doesn't dislike what you're offering.

    It's one thing to change a little bit cuz that's what your partner likes, no harm in that I think.
    But if a guy ever asks for massive changes or creates expectations on your looks, then he sucks and it's time to move on.

    Point is, do what makes you happy and a good guy will love you for you doing you.

    Edit: Damn. I just looked at your photos. There's no more work to be done. Goal -> Complete. You look gorgeous. Don't feel pressured to change a thing!
  • CoachReddy
    CoachReddy Posts: 3,949 Member
    Options
    i second the last two posters - if you're happy, motivated, and fun to be around, all the rest doesn't matter! :)
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
    Options
    we've been together for like two years so its not early days, just feel sense of insecurity. yano when they drool over VS models and im like.... i wish haha. but im short and just those girls are almost non existing

    but yeah, i do believe strongly in personality :) so yeah thanks guys, taken on board x
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Options
    Apparently he likes you
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
    Options
    What do guys like best though, like in sense of body etc. Like what to focus on, abs, legs etc.
    Get insecure and nervous, like on holidays etc. When its just us two, not so much but still...
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    This.

    I know my husband always liked athletic type girls, which I was when we first started dating, he still loved/ was attracted to me when I was overweight.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Options
    What do guys like best though, like in sense of body etc. Like what to focus on, abs, legs etc.
    Get insecure and nervous, like on holidays etc. When its just us two, not so much but still...

    That is still a total individual thing. You are never going to find one thing that all guys agree on.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    This.

    I know my husband always liked athletic type girls, which I was when we first started dating, he still loved/ was attracted to me when I was overweight.




    The route of this is confidence, i see that now. But how do i gain confidence? Sounds a silly question but I normally need other people to give me that boost and confidence push but im not going to be having that all the time. I need to no and find the ability to help myself out and find away of feeling great just by being me.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
    Options
    you may be in the beginning of your relationship, and it's normal to feel a bit "shy" and unsure.

    but as penrbrown said, if he's dating you, he probably already likes you as you are!

    if you're really worried about it, maybe talk with him? it could lead to a great conversation about self-esteem and your relationship.

    we've been together for like two years so its not early days, just feel sense of insecurity. yano when they drool over VS models and im like.... i wish haha. but im short and just those girls are almost non existing


    Just couldnt see us striking out a conversation, like how would i go about that without sounding like a total mug.paha
  • diligentjosh
    diligentjosh Posts: 274
    Options
    If you: 1. are serious about the relationship, and 2. are in a mature relationship, you will talk to him about this. I do not, and will probably never, understand the sensitivity of women. But I think it is best if you talk to him. Many a divorces have come by way of attraction dwindling, so it is an important issue, in my opinion. I am putting myself in a position to be a keeper, and I would expect it the same from my future other. But if you can't talk abou fitness and sex appeal with your boyfriend, then you don't really stand a chance anyways. Good luck!
  • diligentjosh
    diligentjosh Posts: 274
    Options
    Oh, and for the record, I am a boobs guy. Love them big hooties! Second in line come thighs. I love to tease her on them :wink:
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    ^^^^ THIS

    There's no one specific thing but any thing that defines or marks you as a woman is cool with most guys. Don't be extremely overweight but don't stress if you don't have abs. Most guys could care less if their woman has abs. Above all just be confident and fun to be around.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    ^^^^ THIS

    There's no one specific thing but any thing that defines or marks you as a woman is cool with most guys. Don't be extremely overweight but don't stress if you don't have abs. Most guys could care less if their woman has abs. Above all just be confident and fun to be around.


    Its how to get that confidence though, i cant generate it on my own, or i havent in the past, but i need to be able to, so how?
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Options
    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    ^^^^ THIS

    There's no one specific thing but any thing that defines or marks you as a woman is cool with most guys. Don't be extremely overweight but don't stress if you don't have abs. Most guys could care less if their woman has abs. Above all just be confident and fun to be around.



    Its how to get that confidence though, i cant generate it on my own, or i havent in the past, but i need to be able to, so how?

    True confidence is only generated intrinsically. Try reading, meditating, therapy. There are many ways to gain confidence. It takes thoughtful effort.
  • BaileyP3
    BaileyP3 Posts: 151 Member
    Options
    Yes! I think confidence is key. My husband and I met through a friend online. (my business friend's brother was his college roommate) This was a NJ to Canada LDR. We met 2 1/2 months after our first phone conversation. At that time I was heavier -200-ish. I had seen several pics of him (and he of me in slimmer days because I had no current pics) All we knew for certain is that we were both 6' and after daily phone conversations....I think 7 hours one day was our record...we were in love.

    That was almost 10 years ago...I proceeded to get heavier during the stress of immigrating and relocating top weight was 226....fortunate the stress settled down and I got back to normal. And here I am at 158 and I haven 't been this healthy in 15 years...

    Poor man :-)) He doesn't know what to do with his new improved wife. :laugh:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

    I guess my point is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We fell in love with each others personalities and values. The added bonus was being in lust when we finally met regardless of the packaging :-)

    Best of luck
  • mreuvers
    mreuvers Posts: 14 Member
    Options
    From your photos I would say you are very, very attractive so I won't worry about that. I think the issue is you and your self esteem. You got to love your self before someone else can love you.

Categories