When you want to lose and your partner wants to gain???
Hello all,
I wanted to see if anyone had any secrets or tips to helping achieve opposing goals in a relationship regarding the meals you have at home. My boyfriend has been blessed with such crazy insane genes that his core is naturally hotter all the time and he's always burning calories no matter what! And I, of course, was not - I'm trying to lose weight, in case you didn't get that. Anyway, what I have been doing is trying to cook separate meals for us most nights, but MAN... it gets really time consuming!!!!!!!!
If anyone has any experience with this or has ideas as to how I can make the cooking part a lil more efficient, PLEASE share your ideas!
*Sidebar: he works long hours so I pretty much do all the cooking at night.
I wanted to see if anyone had any secrets or tips to helping achieve opposing goals in a relationship regarding the meals you have at home. My boyfriend has been blessed with such crazy insane genes that his core is naturally hotter all the time and he's always burning calories no matter what! And I, of course, was not - I'm trying to lose weight, in case you didn't get that. Anyway, what I have been doing is trying to cook separate meals for us most nights, but MAN... it gets really time consuming!!!!!!!!
If anyone has any experience with this or has ideas as to how I can make the cooking part a lil more efficient, PLEASE share your ideas!
*Sidebar: he works long hours so I pretty much do all the cooking at night.
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Replies
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Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.0
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Ditto, I think cooking one healthy tasty meal that he gets a larger portion of (or a ton of cheese on top :-) ) is the way forward. I think having to cook two separate meals might not be feasible in the long run, apart from the extra effort it probably costs more, wastes more (unless you are highly organised) and takes the fun out of eating together (for me at least).
My partner isn't quite as strict as me and has a more mobile job, so always has an extra snack or two on the side or after dinner ... is working well so far! :-) Good luck!0 -
I would make lean protein such as chicken or turkey or top loin and add lots of veggies for you, veggies and lots of carbs for him.
For things like bolognese or chili I would serve him 2 portions and a side salad, for you huge salad as a starter and then 1 portion of the main dish. Also you get to drink water, and he juice, beer or whatever.
For desert fruit and few nuts for you, for him fruit and big serving of nuts.
This is what I was doing while I was dieting. I needed to make 400-600 kcal dinner for me, and 1000-1200 for him...0 -
Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
This is what I do for my other half, who is also wanting to gain weight. It makes it sooooooooo much easier by doing this! But I also have the willpower to say NO if he wants to snack on anything at nights
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this is my household. i need the big calories, she doesnt. But we eat the same meals (evening only, im at work all day). I just give her less
) If the boy-child is having what we have, then it comes out from her portion. 0 -
I am in this same situation. We eat the same thing in the evenings, my husband just has a larger serving and added carbs. He still needs the vitamins, especially considering the high calorie carb heavy choices he makes at lunch! He also drinks juice or milk while I drink water.
I do allow in my daily calories to have a small portion (usually 50 to 200 calories) of whatever awesome sweet treat he has planned for supper. I don't intend to cut out anything I couldn't go forever without!0 -
likes been previously mentioned servings sizes will be the key, as well try cooking 'meats' seperately so you can adjust the servings to your individual macros, eg he can have loads more protein and you can have more veg n sauce.0
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He can eat what I am eating or he can make something for himself. It is not my job to take care of him.0
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I'm in the same situation! It's nearly impossible for my bf to gain weight while I only have to look at a slice of pizza to gain weight. I used to make all the meals in our house. They were always fairly healthy, but usually rather carb heavy (which my body doesn't seem to appreciate), so I would just try and eat less. This never really worked because I was just never satisfied. Since September I have stopped making dinner for him completely, I make my own dinner every night and he makes his. I've lost weight, gained muscle, and have honestly not felt this good about myself in a long time. If you can get your SO to start making his own food, my suggestion would be give that a try. If he's ridiculously stubborn like my bf though, it might take a week or so before he realizes I'm actually not going to make him dinner and he's going to have to do it himself - no matter how much he begs :P. I will say it's nice sharing the responsibility of meals and dishes, and I think he actually likes taking on more responsibility in the relationship and relying on me less. I hope everything works out for you!0
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We have exactly the same problem in our house!
Not to mention the fact that healthy food is very expensive so when i try to eat healthy and buy good stuff in - the rate which he eats it is just too expensive. Each time i cook up something that should go six ways - I get one portion and he generally eats the rest!
Its no wonder i went off the rails really.
As a previous poster said, definitely use the cards to bulk up his meal. Cook something for you both and just fill his plate with pasta, rice, chips whatever - in our house we were cooking three meals due to a fussy son in the equation too!!0 -
We do the same in my house, or try to: Same meal plan, different portion sizes. And he and the kids usually get some delicious pasta/rice/potatoes/carbs that I replace with an extra helping of whatever veggie for me.0
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Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
This is right on I think. Cook a meal both of you can eat but allow him to have more. I'd guess he probably doesn't want to gain FAT (I've dated guys with super fast metabolisms and its usually wanting to gain muscle and not look twiggy...but not get a gut lol). So maybe (if he doesn't) he should work out more to bulk up? While you slim down 0 -
This. Portion size and he can have something calorie-dense that you don't eat. How about a baked potato? 5 minutes in the microwave oven roughly (depending on your oven) and he can put on some butter or cheese. An easy, almost effort-free high cal addition to any meal of lean meats and veggies!Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.0 -
I want to lose weight and my partner wants to gain. We live together, and generally because of work, I eat dinner with him. We usually stick to proteins and vegetables at dinner. So chicken and veges. He may have more and his veges may be different to mine. (So chicken and potatoes, corn etc for him and chicken and zucchini and broccoli for me) If he wants to have hungry jacks or any other take out, I ignore it, or he eats it out. So I avoid the temptation haha.0
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I second the idea to just cook healthy meals you can eat and give your partner bigger portions. On top of that you could add some of the following to his portion:
Cheese
Nuts
Avocado,
Mayonaise
Olive oil sprinkling
Seeds like sunflower seeds
Cream in sauces
When eating chicken, you could go for an oven baked skin less breast, a large chicken leg with skin could be perfect for him. For dessert you could have low fat yoghurt with some fruit. In a similar vein, he could go for the full fat version with a scoop of peanut or almond butter in it.
Hope this helps!0 -
My husband and I (well, boyfriend then) were in this position a couple years ago. We would generally eat the same thing and he would eat more, or I would make meat and vegetables for both of us and then add a carb for him. He would also drink a protein drink packed with calories (milk, peanut butter, granola/oatmeal, whey protein, banana) right before dinner. That's an easy way to get quick calories.0
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I second the idea to just cook healthy meals you can eat and give your partner bigger portions. On top of that you could add some of the following to his portion:
Cheese
Nuts
Avocado,
Mayonaise
Olive oil sprinkling
Seeds like sunflower seeds
Cream in sauces
When eating chicken, you could go for an oven baked skin less breast, a large chicken leg with skin could be perfect for him. For dessert you could have low fat yoghurt with some fruit. In a similar vein, he could go for the full fat version with a scoop of peanut or almond butter in it.
Hope this helps!
This is definitely an idea I can use! I've been slowly adding peanut butter to things for him, but I started running out of ideas. I already tried the same meal/larger portions, but the way he eats is sort of how kids eat... large, excited bites that lead to him taking a break in the middle of eating, which can last 30-60 minutes! At which point, if he takes too long, he doesn't want to eat anymore. He's literally taking a break from his meal right now LOL. So the ideas you suggest are ones I think I can manage to squeeze in before he gets full. Thanks so much!0 -
This. Portion size and he can have something calorie-dense that you don't eat. How about a baked potato? 5 minutes in the microwave oven roughly (depending on your oven) and he can put on some butter or cheese. An easy, almost effort-free high cal addition to any meal of lean meats and veggies!Wow, what a pain! I'd just suggest making healthy foods that you can eat, and give him larger portions of whatever it is you're planning to eat. Maybe add easy things to his meals that are healthy and high-cal. like an avocado, or a protein shake for him to drink.
Baked potato!!! I like that, thanks so much!0 -
Portion sizes and add-ons such as protein shakes, baked potato, cheese, etc. are great ideas. Calorie dense items such as meal bars and ensure or glucerna shakes can be used to augment calories with nutrition. (and thanks for the ideas!)
Just watch over time as his metabolism may change as he gets older. I've known my fair share of people who could eat anything he or she wanted and seemed to never gain weight, but once they hit a certain age, that all changed.0 -
He is a big boy, tell him to cook his own foods.0
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Same situation! My husband's calorie intake is insane compared to mine, what we've ended up having to do is eat different meals a lot of the time. He'll cook for himself and I cook for myself; we do allow ourselves a cheat day a week though so we can eat together again (it's a cheat day for him too because he's focusing on macros for muscle building). But anyways, separate meals seems to be working even though it's a pain.0
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I'm losing and my boyfriend is trying to build muscle and get bigger. He still wants to be healthy so I just give him massive portions of my home cooked meals and he has lots of extra snacks through-out the day for example when I make chicken and veg he gets 2/3 bits of chicken and I have one, or with a casserole he has 2 thirds of it etc :-)0
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I make a meal I would/am allowed to eat and then he adds fats, carbs and normally snacks afterward to it (he is a postal worker and walks 12 hours a day) I eat like a bug and he eats like the guy from "Thinner"! It works though because I shove half of my food off onto his plate so we are both happy. Well he still hates me being on a diet and spending too much time at the gym but hey tough cookie!0
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I am glad to see that I am not the only one in this boat. My husband eats twice or three times more than me and always stay the same weight. I cook two separate meals. One for him and a low-cal one for me or I will have a lean cuisine at night. I try to keep sweets in the house for him that I don't like. He loves ice cream and I don't, so that is something I stock up on for him to eat at night and I don't sit there and watch him eating it wishing I could have some. It is really tough sometimes. We go out to eat once a week and I usually will try to order something not to bad, but sometimes it is hard.0
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i am currently losing and my bf is gaining!
a lot of it has to do with portioning - because the food i eat is healthy and just because he is trying to gain, doesnt mean he should be eating mcdonalds
so we make twice as much of whatever we have for dinner for him as we do for me
same with lunches - if i take 25g of almonds, he takes 50g
and he drinks a lot of protein shakes with 2 scoops - i usually only put 1 or even .5 scoop in mine when i have them.
ALSO the Ensure/Boost energy drinks both have a high-calorie option that my man drinks when he is not getting enough calories in a certain day.0 -
Our house hold is the same way. I make up for his extra calories by serving him an extra portion and making sure he has enough snacks to eat throughout the week. I just make trail mixes, healthy baked goods, and make sure he drinks more milk. The hardest part is staying out of the cookie jar, for me, but with a bit of extra willpower, it's possible. I have never, and will never, make separate meals.0
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it is hard....or if not hard I think challenging at first. Once you find a groove it works. He NEEDS to eat more and he has to eat calorie dense foods. So he eats a lot of nut butter, avocados, muscle milks, etc. He also is able to eat bigger portions. We try to stay away from calorie dense and low nutrient foods just for health reasons...although he needs to gain weight he still has to watch his cholesterol it runs naturally high in his family.0
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i am currently losing and my bf is gaining!
a lot of it has to do with portioning - because the food i eat is healthy and just because he is trying to gain, doesnt mean he should be eating mcdonalds
so we make twice as much of whatever we have for dinner for him as we do for me
same with lunches - if i take 25g of almonds, he takes 50g
and he drinks a lot of protein shakes with 2 scoops - i usually only put 1 or even .5 scoop in mine when i have them.
ALSO the Ensure/Boost energy drinks both have a high-calorie option that my man drinks when he is not getting enough calories in a certain day.
I'm def going to have to check out those Ensure/Boost drinks! Do they all have the purpose of energy though? Coz I don't think he needs any more energy than he already has - he walks at an unusually fast rate lol.0 -
it is hard....or if not hard I think challenging at first. Once you find a groove it works. He NEEDS to eat more and he has to eat calorie dense foods. So he eats a lot of nut butter, avocados, muscle milks, etc. He also is able to eat bigger portions. We try to stay away from calorie dense and low nutrient foods just for health reasons...although he needs to gain weight he still has to watch his cholesterol it runs naturally high in his family.
I like the muscle milk idea - I have heard that muscle milk is for skinny people. What flavors have you guys found to be tasty for him? I'll need to look into those too.0 -
we make our own breakfast and lunches, he tells me what to buy at the supermarket
dinner we eat the same, he just has bigger portions of meat, and i add rice, potato etc to his meal0
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