is this normal? What do guys like?

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13

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  • lallaloolly
    lallaloolly Posts: 228 Member
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    true confidence comes from knowing yourself and being true to yourself, and loving yourself enough to make your own dreams come true. it's having something that no one else can take away from you. to gain confidence you have to stop seeking approval and direction from others and start listening to your own heart. figure out what makes you happy and pursue it.

    this doesn't mean looking good for a boyfriend or liking something because your friends like it. these types of things are not only fleeting, they are dependent upon other people and you can't control other people. to gain true confidence, form your own goals and work towards them and continue on your own path regardless of who your boyfriend or friends are.

    whether it's learning a skill or a sport, or deciding to be fit and strong, making art, helping others, excelling at school or in your career, volunteering, working with animals, running, learning a new language (or all of these things in due time)... it's giving yourself the gift of your own awesomeness, making your own contribution to the world in which YOU live, and that creates confidence because no one can take away from you.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    who cares what guys like!!!!!?
    you cannot possibly please everyone!

    I suggest seeing a therapist.
    Therapy can really help.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    Yes! I think confidence is key. My husband and I met through a friend online. (my business friend's brother was his college roommate) This was a NJ to Canada LDR. We met 2 1/2 months after our first phone conversation. At that time I was heavier -200-ish. I had seen several pics of him (and he of me in slimmer days because I had no current pics) All we knew for certain is that we were both 6' and after daily phone conversations....I think 7 hours one day was our record...we were in love.

    That was almost 10 years ago...I proceeded to get heavier during the stress of immigrating and relocating top weight was 226....fortunate the stress settled down and I got back to normal. And here I am at 158 and I haven 't been this healthy in 15 years...

    Poor man :-)) He doesn't know what to do with his new improved wife. :laugh:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

    I guess my point is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We fell in love with each others personalities and values. The added bonus was being in lust when we finally met regardless of the packaging :-)

    Best of luck



    Such an amazing story, very happy for both of you. I guess i should shut up, stop worrying and be happy ayee haha
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
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    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    What he said...confidence!!!
  • MarcelineAbadeer
    MarcelineAbadeer Posts: 8 Member
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    Wow congratz on your weight loss guys!:smile:
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    Here's a better question. Why do you care??





    Oh wait, I just saw your age. Nevermind. Carry on.


    Dont really think thats a fair judgement. assuming that what when im 'x years' self confidence will just appear
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    First, YOU have to be happy with yourself. By looking at your pictures, you are not overweight, and a gorgeous girl. Sometimes women are insecure, whether we are a size 2, or a size 12. But if you're really worried about what he thinks, TALK TO HIM. You have been dating 2+ years, by now you should be able to discuss anything. and by the way, I think all men drool at VS models, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he wishes you looked like that.

    fair ennough, who doesnt drool over them! I will talk to him and sounds very silly cos normally so easy to talk to each other, like we talk about randomnest and anything we want to. But this, I have no idea how to go about.

    But thank you, i WILL mention it to him, best thing to do i think :)
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    I thnk you both have unrealistic expectations andfalse images of self.


    meaning what?
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    I'm sure he wouldn't be with you if he didn't like you the way you are. Your insecurities are just that, yours. Just because you think negative about yourself doesn't mean he thinks that too. If you're going to change things about you, do it for you. If you spend your energy trying to change yourself for him, what will happen if you break up?
  • WestCoastPhoenix
    WestCoastPhoenix Posts: 802 Member
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    But hes the classic, skinny jean type of guy.

    What do guys like..

    3p0134.jpg
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    I like women who can deadlift four times their bodyweight. Be glad you aren't my girlfriend. I would demand more work than something so easy as just losing weight.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    But hes the classic, skinny jean type of guy.

    What do guys like..

    3p0134.jpg


    haha,that did made me giggle
  • diligentjosh
    diligentjosh Posts: 274
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    I like women who can deadlift four times their bodyweight. Be glad you aren't my girlfriend. I would demand more work than something so easy as just losing weight.

    OOh, big boy, hit it til it hurts and get all red!
  • WestCoastPhoenix
    WestCoastPhoenix Posts: 802 Member
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    haha,that did made me giggle

    :happy:
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    I like women who can deadlift four times their bodyweight. Be glad you aren't my girlfriend. I would demand more work than something so easy as just losing weight.

    OOh, big boy, hit it til it hurts and get all red!




    He wasss taking the piss right..
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    I like women who can deadlift four times their bodyweight. Be glad you aren't my girlfriend. I would demand more work than something so easy as just losing weight.

    OOh, big boy, hit it til it hurts and get all red!




    He wasss taking the piss right..

    Yes and no. Strong women are hot as ****, but I don't demand anything of anyone. It's everyone's own individual decision whether to be rip**** awesome or not. :)
  • Antlady69
    Antlady69 Posts: 204 Member
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    Claire, the foundation of a good relationship with your partner is good, honest, regular communication.

    The death of any relationship is bad / no communication.

    You two need to talk to each other! He's with you, so that indicates he likes you the way you are. But you will NEVER know for sure if you don't ask him. You definitely will not find out from asking strangers on a public forum.

    Work on your communications skills. If you don't know how, there is tons of information out here on the web. Just google for things like "improving communication in relationships" (or similar).

    All the best to the two of you!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    Individual men have individual, differing preferences for body type. As a whole, men like confidence.

    This.

    I know my husband always liked athletic type girls, which I was when we first started dating, he still loved/ was attracted to me when I was overweight.




    The route of this is confidence, i see that now. But how do i gain confidence? Sounds a silly question but I normally need other people to give me that boost and confidence push but im not going to be having that all the time. I need to no and find the ability to help myself out and find away of feeling great just by being me.

    I like being able to talk to a confident woman one that enjoys herself, life and has laughter along with other moments.
    One that teaches me things and won't hesitate to say her opinion in the face of my rashness and sometime overbearing experience.
    It's attitude.

    Bodywise - pfff. It's attitude, not this muscle or that. If one is fit and you can hike, ride, climb, run and tumble (ahem) with me that's tops. It's about wanting to do things, again it's attitude.

    Confidence? Do things, experience outside of your perceived limits. Be your own tsunami.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Here's a better question. Why do you care??





    Oh wait, I just saw your age. Nevermind. Carry on.


    Dont really think thats a fair judgement. assuming that what when im 'x years' self confidence will just appear
    You'd be surprised.
  • claireHslats
    claireHslats Posts: 19
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    Here's a better question. Why do you care??





    Oh wait, I just saw your age. Nevermind. Carry on.


    Dont really think thats a fair judgement. assuming that what when im 'x years' self confidence will just appear
    You'd be surprised.


    well cheers...

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