Overcoming "mommy" guilt?

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NuggetLovesEdie
NuggetLovesEdie Posts: 477 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Hi All,

How do you overcome "mommy" guilt? Like the thought, "I should be doing something else for my family instead of working out."
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Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    By putting yourself first. A healthy happy mommy makes a healthy happy family. I stopped feeling guilty 3 kids ago.
  • mommygirlx3
    mommygirlx3 Posts: 39 Member
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    I just look at it as even mommy needs her time.
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    By working out, you're ensuring you'll be around for a good, long while and able to play with your kids. You can run behind them as they learn to ride a bike, for example. :)

    If you feel like you aren't spending enough time with them, maybe you can all go for a walk or bike ride together? If they're still little, you could put them in their stroller.

    Keep in mind it's important to take some time for yourself, too, so you don't get burned out. It's okay for parents to spend 30 minutes alone, doing something good for them. It'll keep you healthy and sane. :)
  • Laoch_Cailin
    Laoch_Cailin Posts: 414 Member
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    Me time, with workout time makes me a happier, healthier, more relaxed mammy. I think the kids and my husband like me better like this lol
  • BrawlerBella
    BrawlerBella Posts: 400 Member
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    The best gift you can give your family is a Healthy You! If the guilt is too much try and wake up earlier than them or after they are asleep.
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
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    What could be better for your family than a healthy mother??? No guilt necessary.
  • Shua89
    Shua89 Posts: 144 Member
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    What's your other option? Do like I did and wait until they are teens who are almost off to college to work on yourself? I missed out on a lot of fun with my kids because of my weight.

    Taking care of yourself now means a better mom and more fun for your kids later on.
  • ebr250
    ebr250 Posts: 199 Member
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    I agree with the other replies and I would also try to find ways to incorporate my family into my fitness plan, if not regularly than from time to time.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    Families benefit from having fit, healthy (both physically and mentally) mothers. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your kids.
  • aStrongerSteph
    aStrongerSteph Posts: 161 Member
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    I have been battling "mommy and wife guilt" for a few months now. I finally came to the conclusion this week, that I am a stronger, more balanced person now that I prioritize some time for myself. I even changed my profile and screen name to reflect the changes. I used to be SimplySteph but, she was a doormat, a people pleaser (except for herself) and never made herself a priority. You know what? My kids still love me, I can do more with them. My husband told me my new "attitude" (which I thought was @itchy) is very sexy and he loves it. Some people in my life have not liked the changes and I can't say there have been no family struggles while making the adjustment but, it's worth it. You will feel so much more balanced when you put yourself in the equation with your kids and others. Not saying to be self centered, just find a place for you in your busy life!

    Hope you find what works for you and love the way it makes you feel!

    Hugs,

    Steph
  • miadvh
    miadvh Posts: 290 Member
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    If I'm in better shape and healthier, I'll be much more fun for my son. I'll also have a better chance at being around for him longer. Guilt-free.
  • amuchison
    amuchison Posts: 274 Member
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    The only thing u should be guilty over is being overweight in the first place and taking away from your quality of life and your families...now by taking your health back u r giving to them;) I am a mom of 3 boys 5,3,2 and the wife to a wonderful Navy man..I chose life and better health for me and for them there is no guilt in that...Make your plan its all about balance;) Incorporated the family into workouts they need to get or remain healthy too and have them involved with meal planing and preparing foods..they need to eat healthy too;)
  • codapea
    codapea Posts: 182 Member
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    How can you feel guilty when you are leading by example? I feel guilty I didn't start living this way after I had my first kid. All she saw for her first 4 years was a mommy who spent a lot of time cooking, because I thought a delicious meal was the best way to please my husband family and be a good mommy. And she saw a mommy who watched tv all evening because I felt I earned it after cleaning all day and cooking that nice meal every night.

    I have seen such a change in my husband and kids since I started working out and tracking food. Now I have a 1 year old girl, too, and they are both in the living room jumping around and trying to lift my hand weights when I am doing a workout DVD, and it feels good to be setting that example. I'm not just telling them, but showing them that eating healthy and exercising IS a part of everyday life. I have even heard my 4 year old say, "Mommy and I don't eat sugar." when offered candy by her grandma, lol. (I explained to her that treats are okay once in while, too.) Set the example and they will follow.

    You are doing something much more important for your family by taking an hour to work out instead of sitting on the couch. Were you honestly spending that time giving your kids your undivided attention? My husband totally picks up the slack doing dishes or whatever when I am gone for that hour, and it gives him an opportunity to spend quality time with the kids after work. It's a win-win in our house!
  • mmoyer1978
    mmoyer1978 Posts: 124 Member
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    You are getting more healthy so you can do and be more for your family. That's what I tell myself. I want to be around to welcome my great grandchildren into the world and teach them about their family. I can't do that if I have heart disease before I'm 40. I too feel guilt about taking the time for me, but it's not just for me, it's for them too. The 3-5 hours a week I give myself gives them YEARS more with their mom. Not to mention, every mom deserves to do something for herself. Don't feel guilty. Feel proud. No only are you getting healthy for you, but for them and in the process, teaching them to be healthy too.
  • LaColombicana
    LaColombicana Posts: 63 Member
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    I have the same problem and I decided to let it go. Thinking everyone else's needs are more important than my own eventually led me to feel I was not important enough to me or anyone else. Now I'm thinking of my needs first. I realized that tomorrow will never come because someone else will always be in need or want of something. It may sound crazy, but I love being selfish for a change! At times my little one wants to come along on my walks. I don't mind her coming along, but she cannot endure a 3 or 4 mile walk so today I'm checking out a jogging stroller.

    Just think you'll be a better you for your family!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    Simple - if I don't take care of my health now, I won't be here to take care of *them* later.
  • SaraBrown12
    SaraBrown12 Posts: 277 Member
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    Simple - if I don't take care of my health now, I won't be here to take care of *them* later.

    This x
  • kmard81
    kmard81 Posts: 212 Member
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    Hi All,

    How do you overcome "mommy" guilt? Like the thought, "I should be doing something else for my family instead of working out."

    I know exactly what you mean. When I have worked all day I feel like I need to get home to my family, not go to the gym for another hour. Its a struggle for me too.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I did everything for my kids and nothing for myself for years. That lead to depression. Its not good for you or your children to see you doing nothing for yourself. It just shows that you do not value yourself and that teaches them to not value themselves.

    Of course there is a balance to everything. I think running off to have "me" time is terrible if you leave your child hungry in the high chair or things are not taken care of. But there can be a balance.

    Bottom line: If it dosn't feel right it probably isnt right. Listen to your gut.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    A happy and healthy mom is a good mom.

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