What are you SCARED of that keeps NSVs away from you?

Down 0.8 for the and I'm happy as all get-out BUMP

Can't think of anything that's keeping NSV away. I have plenty of NSV without doing a lot of stuff like the TurboFire, Insanity, etc. dvds, cutting out certain food types or lowering carbs, and other things. I'd rather do stuff I enjoy than hate; it helps keep me going instead of giving up.

Sorry this isn't what you're looking to read. :ohwell:

Oh quite contraire You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, because you answered my question EXACTLY as I wanted you to. You see, I'm looking for replies on how/what other people like yourself feel...not what "I want to hear" but rather your (and others) personal feeling/experiences--which necessarily will be different from mine or others for that matter. So your answer is perfect, because it's you and where you are and your way. I think your answer is going to be of great help to many who read this. So, thanks so much for replying because it's helpful and encouraging and inspirational to boot!

I'll bite! I am for the first time EVER trying to lose weight by eating more. I used the spreadsheet stickied in the nutrition section to actually calculate my BMR and TDEE and came up with a rational calorie target to lose weight safely and permanently.

I got 1750 calories as my target. 1750??!?!? I am TERRIFIED to eat that much because everything that has been conditioned into me about "dieting" involves depriving oneself. My thinking brain knows that it is the right thing to do, that I have to feed my body to get a healthy metabolism.

But my emotional brain (the one that makes me cry when I'm trying on jeans or bathing suits in the store's dressing room) is NOT taking it well. It is imagining regaining all the weight that I've already lost and how disappointing that would be.

I am only up to 1450 calories today, so I have to go make myself a protein shake as a snack to meet my macro/calorie targets, and it feels so counterintuitive!

Way to GO and congrats on meeting this FEAR face to face and slapping it down and trying something different and difficult/scary for you. I totally know EXACTLY where you are coming from. It too doesn't make sense to my "thinker" and I've stayed at 1200 or 1100 for the longest time myself. This time I'm not only eating more (1353 cals--NOT including my exercise cals--which is HUGE for me)--but I've also added something different to the mix that has been working really great for me. Instead of gobbling 700-900 cals for breakfast, lunch or dinner (eating one or two HUGE cal meals per day--three times per day) or some other large amount of cals at one time, then eating other small stuff., this time I'm eating between 150-400 calories per meal and eating 6 times per day instead of 3. Spreading my meals out in smaller cals thru-out the day is working great for me thus far.

I surely don't have all of the answers, actually hardly NONE of the answers, but I'm experimenting and salute you in your experiment too. Go girl--GO!

MORE on fear of success...cause it's real and maybe PLAGUING more of us than we realize.



How to Master Fear of Success and Achieve Your Goals and Dreams in Five Steps
If you aren't reaching your goals and it feels like when you get close, you back from your dreams, fear of success may be getting in your way. Fear of success tempts us to procrastinate, fall behind and make excuses. If so, or if you've ever felt that success is scary, you need to understand what else is going on below the surface. Once you do, you can master fear of success and achieve your goals and dreams bt following five steps.

Fear of demands
First of all, if you fear success, it's highly likely that what you fear about success is not actually success itself. It's more likely that below the surface you fear that if you reach a goal or dream you might not live up to what people will expect of you.

What you think might expect of you if you become successful can stop you dead in your tracks, at least for a while. This is especially true if you've coasted or only recently stepped out to make a move to fulfill a goal or dream.

The other thing that's probably true if you fear success is that you've probably been hanging back and coasting. If you've been coasting it's likely that you have a hard time of conceiving of yourself as suddenly successful. In some way the concept you have of yourself doesn't quite fit how you imagine a successful person to be.

That's partly reasonable. If you haven't fulfilled your vision of what it means to be successful, it makes sense that your self-image doesn't fit your picture of what being a success is. And if you don't fit the picture you won't let the picture happen.

As a consequence you may sabotage success by procrastinating, falling behind, making excuses or otherwise appearing flaky or unreliable. Or you might come to the brink of success and simply stop there, vacillating—like someone who completes law school but doesn't take the bar exam; or like someone who finishes requirements but doesn't file the paperwork for a teaching credential.
Reasons you fear success: common beliefs

The reason for all this is not necessarily that you think you’re undeserving of success. More likely it is that you think you will not be able to handle demands that you believe success might bring. One presumed demand is that people will raise their expectations of you and you will be under pressure to perform at a high level all the time. Another is that you will lose control of your life and the ability to set your own pace and make your own choices. And finally you fear that you will be exhausted, worn down or have arrived at a life you don’t value and never wanted.

These fears are both distortions and exaggerations of what is real. If people see you as competent, it is true that they may turn to you as a go-to person for getting things accomplished. But who says that that means you have to lose control and meet everyone's demands or expectations? Besides,if you look closely, you are exhausted and worn down now. In response don't tell yourself you don't really want success anyway.


People who have this particular fear have often seen effectiveness modeled as taking on the demands of others, being unable to say no, becoming burdened and losing autonomy. Or what they have seen touted as success is something that they have no appetite for. These are not inevitable consequences of competence and success. And they are no reason to choose for yourself a marginal existence of minimal opportunities, personal expression and personal achievement.


Here is the way to master fear of success in five steps:

Don't hang back but instead move forward.
As you move forward, consciously, deliberately stay in charge of your choices.
For help, watch the actions of people who succeed but retain control. They are out there. Look for them.
Notice how it is that they define success according to their values.
Study what they do and adapt it to who you are and what you want. In other words, define and live your success according to your values.

http://www.maxpotential.com/articles/personal-development/615-how-to-master-fear-of-success-and-achieve-your-goals-and-dreams-in-five-steps
© Copyright 2010, All Rights Reserved Kenneth W. Christian, Ph. D.