Are they right or sabotaging me?

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  • jefedesalto
    jefedesalto Posts: 154 Member
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    Keep going, they just don't want you to weigh less than them. It's always the same, people that don't have the motivation or discipline to do it themselves want to feel better for not exercising or dieting. 120-130 is perfect for a woman.
  • Jongfaith
    Jongfaith Posts: 195
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    Lets ret real here a second... We have all seen others who once were very overweight and then lose it and become tiny versions of themself and You think for a moment... "woo they look wierd"

    That being said people in general don't like change. When you think of someone you get mental pictures of them how they look now and how you always see them. I at least do and recently told someone that my little sister has bright red hair... she HAD bright red hair when we were kids but now its deepened into a dark auburn. My sister also currently weighs over 300 lbs (My entire family is big) but when I think about her or see her I feel like I'm talking to the 10 year old version of her with bright red curls and rosy cheeks regardless of how she currently looks.

    Don't take it personally, people see you in the specific way how they have always envisionn you. If you feel like they are unsupportive in other ways then by all means avoid them but maybe they don't mean to undermine your efforts.
    Congrats on all you have accomplished! Keep going til you are comfortable and healthy!
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    People are weirded out by change. I know that I can't visualize myself at my goal weight, so I can understand if people would also have a hard time with it. But, the alternative is me staying how I am and I just cannot do that for both mental and health reasons. So, we will all just have to deal with me being thin when it happens :)

    TL;DR- change is scary, but it's worth it.

    edit- there's also a chance that they don't know what healthy thin looks like. My BF got really bothered when I told him my goal weight (160-ish; I'm 5'8") because he thought I'd be scary skinny.
  • jefedesalto
    jefedesalto Posts: 154 Member
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    People are weirded out by change. I know that I can't visualize myself at my goal weight, so I can understand if people would also have a hard time with it. But, the alternative is me staying how I am and I just cannot do that for both mental and health reasons. So, we will all just have to deal with me being thin when it happens :)

    TL;DR- change is scary, but it's worth it.

    Totally, just look at Jonah Hill, that dude looked way weird after dropping the poundage, but I'm getting used to it.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    People are weirded out by change. I know that I can't visualize myself at my goal weight, so I can understand if people would also have a hard time with it. But, the alternative is me staying how I am and I just cannot do that for both mental and health reasons. So, we will all just have to deal with me being thin when it happens :)

    TL;DR- change is scary, but it's worth it.

    Totally, just look at Jonah Hill, that dude looked way weird after dropping the poundage, but I'm getting used to it.

    Oh, snap. I didn't realize he had lost all that weight! Go him! :D
  • Rinkermann
    Rinkermann Posts: 108 Member
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    When I met certain folks I weighed 206, now weigh 180 and still want to lose more. I really want to weigh like 140 eventually but when people ask I tell them at least 20 more pounds...they all tell me I will "look weird" be too skinny and Im already small enough. I have plenty to lose and I dont think 160 lbs would be skinny! Am I crazy?

    my advice is don't ever worry about what other people think of your weight target. just ask yourself whether YOU are happy with your target. personally, i use my BF% as the guide for where i want to be and not the opinions of others. some people even told me i needed to stop losing weight, when i had a body fat % over 30 and was still way over my BMI!

    it may be sabotage, but far more likely is that they just cannot envisage you being thin. it's also the case that someone who has a healthy BF% looks too thin these days when compared to your average person, because the average person is overweight these days!
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    There is really not enough information here to determine who is correct. There are a few possibilities here.

    1. If you have included heavy weight training, as you should, in your regimen then it is possible that your ideal weight range will actually increase due to an increase in muscle mass. Not that you would create bulky muscles or anything but a cubic inch of trained muscle is significantly heavier than a cubic inch of flabby fat. I have found that I actually weigh 233 right now but wear the same size clothes as I did when I was 170 lbs... Now, perhaps that is a bit extreme (and yes I recognize that those clothes don't fit quite the same as they did then but there is a significant difference in build.

    2. It may be that your friends have a bit of an unhealthy idea of what "normal" is. Most do. On the flip side, it is possible that you may have an unrealistic ideal in your mind as well.

    3. Even with the BMI scale (which does not include muscle mass), height matters. I am not sure of your height. If you are like 6'0" then 180 really would be within your ideal range. I would use BMI as a guide and try to get sort of close to what it says. In my case, my Goal weight is actually 25 lbs above the top end of my weight class.. again, this is due to my current lean body mass.

    4. The best way to determine where to stop is by making a determination of what you WANT to look like and then making a quality decision as to how you are going to get there... I like to focus more on my body fat percentage than my weight.

    For women, your table goes something like this
    10-12% -- essential fat... Yeah, it is there for a reason.. can't get rid of all of it and survive.

    14%-20%-- Athletic build -- I would not want to be on the low end of this range for long if at all... I would make it a goal to keep at least 17-20% (female)

    21%-24% -- Fitness build -- Not a bad build and probably what most women would prefer.

    25-31% -- Acceptable... this is a healthy build but most likely somebody who was really interested in looking their best would feel a bit uncomfortable with this level -- except at the lower end.

    32%+ -- Obese... Nuff said.

    There are online tools used to estimate your level of fat content but the best way is to go to a gym where a trainer will take your anthropometric measurements and give you a good idea of where to go. Many gyms will do this initially for free... The YMCA in my area does it up to a couple of times per year.. which is probably all you would need. Just gives you an idea of where you are and would really want to be. I think it is the best method overall....

    best wishes on your journey... In the end, you and your doctor will be best able to make a determination for what is right for you.
  • vabchloser
    vabchloser Posts: 223 Member
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    I tell people I want to lose at least 30 more lbs (which still puts me at the upper end of "normal" on the BMI scale). People always reply, "From where!?!?!"

    They don't see you with your clothes off. You do. You know what you need to do...and if it's within a healthy range, just tell them so. I need to lose XX lbs to be in a healthy weight range and at a lower risk for cardiovascular disease when I get older. No one can argue with that!!!
  • peacelovegore
    peacelovegore Posts: 7
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    They may just be worried about you losing too much weight because they care about you. People who love you think your beautiful how you are, so its best just to not tell them that you are trying to lose.

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