Are some people ( like myself) perhaps beyond help ?
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No one is beyond hope, unless they CHOOSE to be. You're here, still in the game. Keep fighting!0
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I think a lot of it is wanting it for the right reasons. I have been a yo-yo dieter my whole life and most of the time I was wanting to change my weight etc. because of guys or because someone said something mean about me. But this time around, I realized I wanted to get healthy and enjoy life because you never know when it will end. We lost a friend on 7/20 in the shooting and it really made me take a look at my life. Now I'm not perfect, but working out and eating better has become more of a habit than it ever has. I have always enjoyed hiking, but I would only do 1-3 miles. Now a short hike for me is 4-6 and that was right off the bat from not working out for a few months due to back injuries. I think you need to evaluate why you want to get healthy and think about what things might be holding you back without you realizing it. Everyone is completely different about what motivates them and why they want and need to get healthier, its about finding what is right for you.0
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Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......
You answered your own question. You don't want it badly enough to do what it takes to succeed. You, like many of us, want the easy way, the quick fix. But there is no magical pill to take. The only way you will succeed is by making goals and figuring out how to attain those goals. Wishes and dreams don't get you anywhere but disappointed.
Commitment and dedication get you success.0 -
Thank you all for reading my post and taking the time to reply , I really do appreciate all the responses and so many of them if not all of them are so true. If any of you are not overloaded with friends already i would love some more so please add ...
I wish I knew what stops me I really do .. I know I am the only one who can change things . I am lucky that I enjoy fruit and vegetables and most healthy foods , rarely drink alcohol , but eat loads of junk and carbs and struggle to exercise after my 12 hour day , plus the evening/ early morning bingeing has got l out of control. As I am exhausted ( excuse again ) , I am genuinely shattered though when my working day ends .
Thank you for reading : )0 -
I've been overweight my whole adult life (ranging from ten pounds overweight to morbidly obese). I thought for years that I would always be fat, and that might end up being true. I am still fat now and who knows if I'll get to my goal weight. I do know that this time feels different. For one thing, I have MFP. Being able to log everything I eat has helped me so much and reading other people's stories on the forums has made me realize that it is possible to do this. Even now.
I don't know your background so I can't give specific advice (i.e. Are you a fairly thin person who has dieted to be even thinner? Or a morbidly obese person who has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over and over again? Or somewhere in between?). I will say that the keys for me have been patience, quantification, and not dieting. That is, recording everything, tracking my weight every day, not getting discouraged when things don't happen as quickly as I want, and not going in for any fad diets or quick fixes.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Thank you for your reply . I am somewhere in the middle I suppose . Always on a diet and fail by lunchtime ... I think joining this site will help . So much interesting reading . Just unsure of where to start ?! Good luck on your journey too .
This post could be a good place to start: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
It has a lot of good advice. I use a slightly modified version of the method he outlines and it's been working well.0 -
consistency and patience is the only thing that works over the long haul. you need to approach health and fitness as a way of life, not a quick fix. if you do something every single day that moves you towards your goals, the results will come. you might not see results every day, but they will come.
make a list of things you can do instead of binge (anything and everything from laundry to writing a novel to rearranging your closet to cleaning the ceilings... projects, projects, projects! my house is never cleaner and my yard is never more manicured than when i try to stop a bad habit (i.e. like smoking!).
make a list of ways you can incorporate fitness into your day, even if it is in 10-15 minute spurts. get creative. if you sit down and think about it, i bet you can work 45 minutes of fitness into your day.
then, get started. do something every day that makes you fitter than the day before, and you will get on the right track.0 -
Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......
Not necessarily, I had problem psychologically that kept me from attaining my goal. Once I began to deal with those I am being able to make the behavioral changes to my lifestyle that will allow me eventually to be free of the fat. Don't give up but you might try some professional help.
Rebecca0 -
Only you can decide that. It doesnt matter what anyone here says. Are you beyond help or are you worth the effort?0
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I understand how you feel, I was really overweight before I decided to make a change, but ilke you I was on again off again. I lost some weight through diet and exercise once i started using my fitness pal, but then i didn't keep up with it and I've gained 8 pounds. I'm back on the program, but this time I'm taking it for what it is a life change. No more crazy diets because they just want to make you binge after a while, make realistic goals and try to stay motivated. I know it's hard, but no one is beyond help I've been dealing with weight issues for over 10 years, and I am now really learning that you have to treat your body with love and care, and take things one day at a time.
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Your body will do anything you want it to do. Dont let your mind take over, you are in control!0
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I sure hope not. I would be in that crowd then and I don't want to be. I have over 100+ lbs to lose and it feels like it's impossible sometimes. Even so, I'm better off than I was a month ago. Add me as a friend if you want.0
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you are only beyond help if you decide you're beyond help
assuming the variables to that and another person in your shoes are similar/the same (not in a wheelchair, mentally disabled, other extremes)0 -
Only if you choose to be. Everything you do every single day is a choice. Make better choices or don't. If you can't make good choices, seek the help to learn to do so.0
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The fight is never lost until you stop fighting. You'll never cross the finish line if you stop running. Sporadic inconsistency is better than nothing at all. Take what you have achieved and move to the next step. You have moved from not active to sporadically active. Now make the transition from sporadically active to consistently active. Since so much of this is food dependent, make that your area of focus. Focus on consistently eating well and even the sporadic activity should show results. Then move your activity from sporadic to constant and your results should be even better.
Nobody is beyond help unless they have given up. Have you given up?0 -
Do or Do Not. There is no try.
That being said, no one is beyond help. No one. You have to make decisions, set goals and decide that it's time for this yo-yo roller coaster-y spiral to stop. When you decide and hold yourself to the decision, you'd be surprised at how the rest falls into place. It isn't easy. There is an unbelievable amount of work involved, but when you look back and think about how you spent a week, a month, a year, I bet you'll take more personal satisfaction in what you accomplished having decided to change your lifestyle than if you didn't.
Good Luck!0 -
i empathize with you because i remember feeling that. I remember feeling like I just would never get myself under control and that I had already tried everything. When I was overwieght, I was actually working out quite a bit. And i ate healthy foods. It just took making the choice to do it...and doing it for me was cutting my calorie to 1200 plux exercise.
Just make the choice to do what needs to be done and just do it!0 -
Don't give up, when I started with this and MFP, I had failed more times than I could count. I wanted to see big losses and drops in the numbers, and I didn't. I had this HUGE goal in mind that I had to lose this massive number and it was daunting. What I have learned to do is to break it down. Make smaller stepping stones to my ultimate goal. I am almost to my first mini goal and I tell you it is exciting and keeps me going. Set yourself small attainable challenges. I was trying to get into 30DS and ended up injuring myself, so know your limitations and while yes challenge yourself don't push it to injury at the start. Take it slow, take it easy and take it day by day. No one is beyond help. Good luck!0
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and i'll say this- part of success is forgiving yourself for your mistakes and getting RIGHT BACK IN THE SADDLE!
No wallowing in self hate because you ate pizza last night and then spending the next three days eating crap because you already broke your diet. It is a lifestyle change...part of the lifestyle is getting into the habit of accepting it when you mess up and just going back to your new "normal."
I ate more unhealthy foods in my weight loss journey than i did when i was overweight.
Thanks to MFP, i also figured out how to balance my burning of calories with my excess consumption. I would totally run 4 miles so I could have pizza with my friends later that day. Some people say that doesn't work, but it did for me!0 -
I have been on and off diets for over 15 years and hated my body , binged etc etc .. Exercised sporadically never consistently!!I just wondered if perhaps some people ( like myself! ) can't be helped ? Or if some people don't want what rules their life badly enough ? If you have tried everything and are still in the same position should you just give up ? I am great at excuses and being good to others , just not myself . I do feel I am a broken record going on and on , but I know I am the only person who can do anything about it !
Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )
Consistancy is the main word here. Last journey I lost over 100 which I gained back due to medication. I am going to do it again, and keep it off. I have a life long ed. I will beat. For me what works best is eatting enough calories but not too many, and walking. I want to work back up to 3 miles a day. Then I can expect to lose like 3 lbs a month if Im lucky. So for my last 80ish lbs, I hope to have off by the time I turn 50, I'll be 48 in a few days.
Good luck with your journey keep on keeping on!!!0 -
Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......
Get off your a** and do it!! I'm not trying to be mean I promise. I was in the exact same place. It was always "I'll start Monday", then Monday came and I didn't do anything. The only things I thought about were how big I was getting, how crappy I felt, and if I didn't change my husband was going to leave me. (all in my head btw, he loves me unconditionally) Anyway, one day I got on the scale and realized I was the biggest I had ever been. I decided to start with food. I didn't restrict calories like crazy, I just made small changes. When I mastered one, I moved on to the next. Now I'm down 20 pounds, and started C25K and NROL4W. You can do this!!! You just have to start somewhere.0 -
I'll be mean:
STOP MAKING EXCUSES and get off your A** and make a damn change
or you can wallow in your thoughts and unhappiness0 -
I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )0 -
I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )
Just don't give up on yourself, and you can get through this! Good luck to you.0 -
Others can help, but ultimately the vast majority of the work is down to you. Believe in yourself. Others have done it why can't you?0
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The reason most diets fail is the changes are too drastic and unsustainable as a lifestyle. MFP can help you make healthier choices and I would suggest making small changes "babysteps". Try logging for a few days - and see what you are putting into your body. When are the times you are vulnerable to overeat or eat unhealthy foods? Start making small changes e.g. portion control that you can sustain. Try to get support from friends and family. Walk more. Post in the forums and get support from the great MFP community. I found logging helped a lot - I can't lie to myself and my mum husband and secretary are now on MFP with my recommendations. The other thing I found helpful is rewards (as long as not food). If I lose 30lbs I will........
but at the end of the day its your life and your body and you have to be ready to make the change. Here to help when you are ready!0 -
I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )
remember baby steps! The reason I've tried and failed at diets before is that I've gone from one extreme to another (ie over eating to under eating) and you just can't maintain that without going mad and giving up, find out your BMR (what you body burns if you were unconscious making your vital organs work and breathing) and TDEE (what you burn going about your normal day to day routine) and eat somewhere in between the two and you'll lose without feeling deprived (some people say 15 - 20% below TDEE), and as for exercise I hate going to the gym and used to always hate having to motivate myself to go, so i just found something I enjoy, in my case Zumba! and I actually look forward to going as it's so much fun it's like a hobby!
Also get rid of all junk in your house I'm a bit of a binger (not a purger though), so I never have crisps/chips, chocolate cereal, cereal bars or in fact any convenience food in the house, if I want to eat something I have to cook it, I do believe binging's an addiction and the impulse to binge goes after a few minutes (if of course you're not genuinely hungry) so whenever you get a binge impulse just put on your shoes and go for a 10 minute walk, I also never prepare meals for the next day ie sandwiches for tomorrows lunch or enough bolognese to last a few meals because it will get eaten. I also have low cal binge alternatives that take a few mins to eat like low cal hot chocolate and frozen ice lollies and also stuff that I can eat in large quantities like raw carrots, cucumber and sweet peppers with low fat hummus, and pad out food with a bag of baby leaf salad and low fat honey mustard dressing, or stir fry veg and soy sauce. Also the tv is the worse for binging and boredom eating so if you can maybe do something other than watch tv or try to occupy your hands whilst watching telly (even if it's something like knitting LOL)
Good luck and just think in a years time you'll wish you started today!0 -
Thank you again for replies . I am going to re read them all in a bit and try and try and wk out where to start !! How do you make your self exercise once you have finished a 12 hour day ? I collapse in a heap at 7pm ... It's so ridiculous that I am ready for bed by 8:30 pm . I lead a exciting life not !!0
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I wish I knew what stops me I really do .. I know I am the only one who can change things . I am lucky that I enjoy fruit and vegetables and most healthy foods , rarely drink alcohol , but eat loads of junk and carbs and struggle to exercise after my 12 hour day , plus the evening/ early morning bingeing has got l out of control. As I am exhausted ( excuse again ) , I am genuinely shattered though when my working day ends .
I am so glad that I am not the only one that feels this way. I have been unsuccssfully trying to balance between work and life for quite some time now. I don't exactly have an answer as I am still trying to find it myself, but you are not alone.0
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