Even less self-esteem after weight loss...

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  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    You are lucky that you are young. Your body will likely adapt to your new shape, but it may take time for you skin to adjust. If you are not already doing strength trainging I'd suggest adding squats and lunges, which do wonderful things for a bum, and pushups and hand weights (for your upper body). Keeping the muscles nice and firm under the skin will definitely help your shape. And these things are good calorie burners so they will help get that last bit of belly fat off.

    Just give your body time to adjust and keep working those muscles. And whatever shape you end up with, learn to love it. There is nothing to gain from wishing you had someone else's body. All shapes are beautiful if they are fit and you carry yourself with confidence.
  • Classyandra
    Classyandra Posts: 74 Member
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    Hoping with a stomach change I will feel better as well. Just think about how much you have accomplished this far! Keep it up!
  • dawten
    dawten Posts: 61 Member
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    Don't let it get you down. My belly is the last thing that goes too. Just keep at it, it's like when you grow your hair out and it's at that bad stage where it looks bad but you let it go because you need to grow it. Well it's sort of like that but harder. I tend to change up the clothes I have and pull them in a little with a needle and thread to make it more flattering to me. Second hand stores are great too coz you can get pretty good things for nothing, or yard sales ;) Don't lose hope

    Agree^^
  • beautifulbeast11
    beautifulbeast11 Posts: 202 Member
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    I struggle with this as well! Just know that the belly fat is the last to go... and it's because your body is wanting to protect your organs so it keeps fat there. Keep up your work and you will eventually see change! :)
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I don't necessarily regret losing weight... or feel more self concious now... but, I do fear losing weight and being noticed. I think this comes from the fact that I was abused as a child. I feel safe being "fat"... because I don't worry about people noticing me and hurting me again.

    I'm pushing through these feelings, though... and I'm becoming stronger and happier in the long run. That fear shows up every once in a while... but, I just tell it to shut up. :wink:

    For you, I would say you're at an awkward place. You've lost weight... which is great... but, it's not all in the best places. Just keep moving forward, and you'll get to where you want to be. You can do this.
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
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    I'm totally there. I think before, being fat and invisible, it didn't really matter. Now getting more attention, it's hard to not focus on all the things that aren't right.

    Belly fat is killing me....it's so freaking depressing. ;(
  • ruststar
    ruststar Posts: 489 Member
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    I hear you - my weight loss is finally moving after a long year of losing the same 5 pounds and my breasts and behind seem to be where it's all coming from. I lifted heavy during that year-of-no-weight-loss, and my butt was more rounded and felt solid - now it's starting to look flat again and definitely feels squishier. But - there's less of me as a whole, I'm lifting again and the muscle will come back and in the long run this is just an awkward place I have to get through. I've found thrift stores to be my friend and splurge on underwear that's the correct size - don't underesitimate the power of well-fitting undergarments! They can go a long way to feeling better.

    Edited to add - you don't want to buy undergarments at the thrift store. This is one area worth forking out money for - but I'm talking a 5/$25 sale at a department store, not La Perla.
  • berkman12
    berkman12 Posts: 23 Member
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    Im with you all on this. After my surgery, I felt great, like a whole new person. Now, I have had mood swings and start feeling like my old self again. Maybe its just hormones, or the weather, im not sure. Its great that people compliment you and notice that you have been kicking your own *kitten*, but after that feeling is gone, right back to where i started. We all know that we have the ability to change for the better, and that is why we are all here, is to help each other out. Im sure that we all have been through these times, listening to different stories, dont make me fee like im the only one going thru it.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    i have higher self esteem in clothing....out of clothing, not much has changed in the ego dept there. gugh. lots of change in the stamina dept tho, lol. im ok with the back side of me, but as for the front...must get tummy tuck and boob job b4 that will ever happen, damn it all!
    if youre losing weight thru diet alone things will be saggin, get some muscle under ur skin to perk things up a bit, i cant imagine what my body woould look like if i lost my muscle, i would hate myself.
  • ReclaimingSarah
    ReclaimingSarah Posts: 250 Member
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    I'm right there with you. I was morbidly obese but I was a "Proud Thick Girl!" I had to lose weight for health reasons & am now stuck about 20 lbs higher than a "normal" weight for my height & feel awkward as hell. I've got about 20 lbs until I'm at a "normal" weight for my height, so I'm praying that those last 20 lbs are all hiding in my stomach & will finally go away!
  • PrettyGirlPayton
    PrettyGirlPayton Posts: 93 Member
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    Please start doing strength training. Your whole body tends to build muscle. In other words tone it up girl. You will notice a shape. And you may lift your bum- :)
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
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    I don't know if anyone else is struggling with this but I am having a hard time accepting my new body. I was 12st 4lbs (I'm 5 foot 3), and I've lost 3 stone so far...... but I feel worse about my body than I did before. I guess that before, I liked my breasts and my bum and I felt curvy. Now those things are gone, my bum is flat and I have lost 2 cup sizes and I don't feel curvy anymore. I am still carrying a lot of fat on my stomach and it makes my chest look even smaller. I really can't shift this belly fat.

    I just don't feel attractive at all and I'm having a really hard time accepting my body. Clothes look so different on me now, all the old styles I use to wear look terrible. I have no money and can't afford to buy new clothes, I just have to stick with the old ones from when I was a teenager and old second hand clothes people have given me.

    Part of me massively regrets losing weight but then I know I am so much healthier and stronger now.

    Is anyone else feeling this way too?

    That is why it's important to lift weights. You need to develop your lean body mass so it will be pretty for when the weight is gone. It takes longer to build muscle than it does to build fat. The body is not pretty with no muscle tone. Cardio only gives you limited muscle tone, you need it for your cardiovascular system and it's good for you, but it is not enough.

    Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.

    Start lifting now, lift heavy and change it up often, find a lot of weight routines with free weights, make it fun, embrace it, make it part of your life. Only 3 days a week is all it would take. Crank up your tunes and learn to love it, because your body will love it and it will make your quality of life better in many ways, especially when you get older like me.

    Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

    If you are female you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

    My muscles really are not that big, but they show a lot of definition because I'm quite lean. If I gained some fat then I would have a softer more toned look (which is OKAY too!). Then if I gained more fat I would look bulking and hefty like I did most of my life until last year. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. Lean and ripped, soft and toned, or hefty, it all depends on how much fat you leave on your body. Calories are the only thing that changes fat. Exercise is for changing or maintaining your lean body mass only. Lifting weights will give you the best bang for your buck for shaping your body. I finally changed my shape by putting lifting first and cardio 2nd. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

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