Women over 40! Would love to hear from you!

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  • AnnMombourquette
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    Hi there.....I'm 46, a mom of 2 teenagers, have a significant other, I'm a daughter and a friend. Work full time, run a small candy business and take a quilting course. Put in day to day craziness, and I'm a pretty busy gal. Taking control of my life and loving it. I would love to share your journey with you. Feel free to add me as a friend. :) Take care
  • Valera0466
    Valera0466 Posts: 319 Member
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    Bump! I will comment later when I have time! I so feel your pain.
  • Miche11e5
    Miche11e5 Posts: 114 Member
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    Hello!

    I'm 41 and like you am a mother (to three girls who are 19, 16 & 13), a wife, a daughter, a friend and a full-time employee for someone else.

    I took my life back a couple of years ago in order to protect my health and make sure I'll be around for those who depend on me for many more years. It can be a struggle, but I've learned to make time to exercise and plan my (an my families) nutrition and let go of having a clean house 24/7 and I am much healthier and happier for it!

    Michelle
  • JCKKB374
    JCKKB374 Posts: 23 Member
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    I am 51 and feel like I am ALWAYS running!! I am like you....a wife and mom to 3 college kids, two are away but come home 1-2 times a month, with an additional 4th adopted one who is pregnant and lives with us, I have a fulltime job, 2 dogs, I do volunteer work, have alot of friends (and I love them to death but having friends is EXHAUSTING cause some have health issues or kid issues, etc) AND I try to get to the gym 5-6 days a week before work and plan meals and shop and cook and clean and do laundry and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (hahaha)
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
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    Any women over 40 and have found that your life is spinning out of control. No matter how hard you work to lose weight and be fit all you think about is how tired you are! I am a mom, wife, daughter, teacher and daughter in law :) I wouldn't change my life for anything but I would love to take to other women who feel the same as I do! We need to support each other as much as we can :) Have a great and fit day! Be Blessed!

    Well you be blessed too! Anyone can do this at any age. There really is no mystery. I used to think my metabolism was broken, low thyroid, adrenal fatigue, menopause, stress (well stress is certainly a factor in managing hunger hormones). I did the frustrating diet yo-yo for 15 years and finally achieved my dream at age 50 and have been maintaining for over a hear now (I'm almost 52). I finally realize thyroid medicine and everything else to address my myriad of age related health issues were not a magic pill. It all comes down to calories for weight loss and exercise for building your lean body mass (especially weight lifting). You cannot out exercise too many calories.

    Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.

    Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.

    Start lifting now, lift heavy and change it up often, find a lot of weight routines with free weights, make it fun, embrace it, make it part of your life. Only 3 days a week is all it would take. Crank up your tunes and learn to love it, because your body will love it and it will make your quality of life better in many ways, especially when you get older like me.

    Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

    If you are female you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

    My muscles really are not that big, but they show a lot of definition because I'm quite lean. If I gained some fat then I would have a softer more toned look (which is OKAY too!). Then if I gained more fat I would look bulky and hefty like I did most of my life until last year. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. Lean and ripped, soft and toned, or hefty, it all depends on how much fat you leave on your body. Calories are the only thing that changes fat. Exercise is for changing or maintaining your lean body mass only. Lifting weights will give you the best bang for your buck for shaping your body. I finally changed my shape by putting lifting first and cardio 2nd. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

    There is no mystery to weight loss, everyone thinks something is wrong, their metabolism is broken, they have low thyroid, they have menopause or whatever issue, they are as unique as a snowflake, whatever. I thought a lot of these things once too but once the doctor helped resolve the health issues for me I learned there is still no magic pill. Most people eat more than they need to and are not at good at estimating calories as they think they are. Most people have a lower BMR than they think they do. The only way to know for sure is to go to a lab and have it tested. It doesn't seem fair to have to eat less and feel a little hunger. It's hard to face the truth of it, very hard. It's not fun. It's drudgery at times. But if you learn to enjoy your smaller amounts of food (necessary to lose weight, since the reason we got fat in the first place was eating too much whether we knew it or not), and rejoice in your victories it can be done.

    All I can do is share what worked for me. I achieved my goal at age 50 after beating my head against the wall for 15 years. Yeah anyone can do it, but I can tell you that you are up against a lot when you are older and I believe females have some unique issue to face with hormones and such. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better. DO NOT GIVE UP. As I got older and the weight piled on (and I didn't feel I was eating too much!) everyone kept telling me to give up, this is what happens when you get older. I'm small, and I didn't realize how small I was until I lost the weight. Everyone said I had big bones. I looked hefty because I worked out. Once I lost the weight I realized how small I really was and that small people don't need to eat as much as big people. HINT: If you are short you are probably small.

    Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

    Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

    The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
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    Sorry for messing up the Quote Thing! I was trying to thank you, California for being so generous with your comments! I always look for them!
  • pammee44
    pammee44 Posts: 49 Member
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    I am going to be 44 next week and I feel the same way. I have really tried to take control back of my life this year and it's been a roller coaster ride for sure, but I'm getting there. After talking to my husband and getting his 100% support i am trying to realize it's only me holding myself back. My issue is my eating. I've got the working out/exercise thing down, but in total denial of my eating habits. I'm working on it now though. I am running my first half marathon on 12/2/12.

    Please feel free to friend me, i could use all the support i can muster up and am more than willing to also give support.
  • Dragonfly1996
    Dragonfly1996 Posts: 196 Member
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    Hi there I am nearly 45 & have also struggled to keep control!! The exercise part is fairly easy to adapt to but I do struggle with food - it calls to me!!! Well the wrong food calls to me!!

    I did lose 18lb on here but have put 11lb back on since April. I ran my first marathon but carried on eating the same amount afterwards when I wasn't doing the same amount of exercise!! So I am now back to the drawing board & trying to shift it again!!

    Feel free to add me for support & motivation!!

    DF :flowerforyou:
  • thomassd1969
    thomassd1969 Posts: 564 Member
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    43 yr old mother of 5. Working full time. Graduated a year ago with my BS. Lost my husband in 08 to cancer. Doing it alone. Add me if you want I would be glad to support you.
  • sandobr1
    sandobr1 Posts: 319 Member
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    Life not out of control but very busy too! I run a small craft business out of my home which also seems to consume much of the house. I have a child in elementary school and a husband who travels for work and when not traveling works from home. I often say I am the organizer of chaos, though I love being busy and facing challenges, weight loss is my most recent challenge. I log in daily (day 26 current streak :), log all foods and have open diary for friends.

    I plan on losing another 50 pounds or so in my journey and believe in setting small realistic goals to get there. My most recent goal is 30 pounds by 11/4/12....and I am sooooo close. Working on end of year goals and long term goals into 2013 and beyond. I do my best to comment helpful and kind posts and am not into drama or woe is me posts...don't we all have enough to do?

    Off to add a few who look like they are on a similiar path! Good luck to all!
  • itswennndy
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    I too find myself spinning!!!!! Would also love some new friendships. I am almost 43 am married (sometimes don't want to be, haha) and have 3 children. Have struggled to lose my weight since the last child was born 10 years ago.
  • crownedangel
    crownedangel Posts: 19 Member
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    Hi!! I will be 45 this year, also my 2nd go-round on MFP, it works but I got lazy with the counting calories thing! lost 10 lbs & gained it back...here I go again!! anyone can add me, i need all the motivation i can get!!!
  • rayjess
    rayjess Posts: 22 Member
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    Hi, I'm 44 soon to be 45 next month. Married with 2 children and work full time. I have always struggled with my weight so I decided to give MFP a chance. I started this life style change in March 2012 which at that time I was weighing 185 and I now weigh 144! I have other goals that I am working on and will attain.

    I love to help people and I am a good listener.


    Feel free to add me as your friend for support and motivation!
  • goldk
    goldk Posts: 1,651 Member
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    Hi! I'm 43 work from home, 11 year old daughter and been married (2nd one) for almost a year. Would love to lend some support. I've been on this site for 3 years, lost 30lbs, felt great.... Life (and lack of discipline) almost gained it all back. Time to get control again!!! Look forward to coming back and reading the rest of these posts and making some new friends.
  • breezedaze
    breezedaze Posts: 357 Member
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    I am so pleased to see so many 40 year olds plus ready to reclaim their health, fitness, bodies, lives....I wanted to add one thing to what California girl said (I plan to be a 46 year old 5'6 version of her) before long!

    It's about trust!

    First throw out the scale. Or at least stop trusting it.

    Trust yourself.

    Trust that your body knows what to do

    Trust that your body is intelligent and will respond to the good things you give it.

    Trust that the math works. If your calories in are less than your energy output..you will lose.

    Eat. Fuel your body. But eat wisely.

    Eat what you love. In small amounts.

    Educate yourself. Look for people with the results you want to have. Follow them!

    Do NOT believe, ever, that you have to settle. YOU are Magnificent! You can and will be and do whatever you decided to do!

    My motto is perfectionism is the doorway to inertia! You need to do this most of the time..and shake off the rest of the time!

    Cheers!
  • breezedaze
    breezedaze Posts: 357 Member
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    How are all the rockin' 40 year olds?
  • keeponkickin
    keeponkickin Posts: 1,520 Member
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    45 here. Mom to 4, one with special needs, married for almost 26 years and lost 110 pounds in one year. Life does get crazy at times. Anyone is welcome to add me as a buddy.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
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    Will be 45 in December. Mom, wife-to-be, daughter, daughter-in-law to be & employee to the great state of Texas (but commute 1hr 15min each way everyday to get there! I was hit hard between 40-43 with several life experiences and my life was definately out of control! I started regaining control 2 years ago and am still a work in progress but I'm not giving up till I achieve my goals. This is a complete lifestyle change so I'm trying to re-program myself from the old "dieting" mode. I believe we, as women of a certain age, are very strong since we have reched this point in our lives & I am seeing more of us our age that are in the best shape of out lives (or working towards it!) & are truly beginning to love & enjoy life to its fullest. I try to keep a positive outlook and this makes the whole "life" process SOOO much easier!

    Good luck on your journey! :wink:
  • meeramos
    meeramos Posts: 8 Member
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    Hi!!! I am 47 years old and feeling it. I am on my second married with a step son and son still living at home. My life is not as busy as some of you hard working women out there (kudos to you all). I had a full hysterectomy four years ago which caused my body to go way out of control. I finally made a commitment three weeks ago to take care of myself first and then my family. I know that sounds selfish, but I know if I take care of me first will result in my family's happiness in the long run.
  • hitstuff
    hitstuff Posts: 40 Member
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    Herrow!!
    At the age of 43, I feel I may have actually conquered ONE 'out of control' aspect of my life. I hovered 160-180 lbs for a good long while. I'm currently aiming to pare down to 120 but truthfully, I'm pretty comfortable where I am at. I eat well, exercise no less than 3 days/week, and hold my head high when I walk down the street!! I feel great! I'm here to keep myself accountable, and take away what I can from the social/ support aspects of the site. Now that I've got my health/ weight issues at bay, It's other things that seem to keep me awake at night. I now need to join another site (lol) to whip my household into shape- it makes me feel totally out of control!! I'm the epitomy of disorganized (housekeeping, bills, etc.) Add the stress of trying to be good mom/wife....GAH forget about it!! lol I need to repackage the discipline that it took to get my fitness goals in line, and apply it to the other aspects of my life...HAH the irony.......if I spent less time creeping mfp, my dishes would probably be done right now, and the friggin' hallway would finally be painted!!! :ohwell: :sad: