I met someone special...

But he likes me just as I am. He is hoping I won't lose anymore weight. I have lost almost 25 lbs. I am no where near my goal, but I do feel good and healthy. The main reason I was losing was to be more healthy and not hurt when I walk.
Do I just (for a while at least) go to a maintenance diet and see how things go, or do I forgo his desires and keep dropping because that was my original plan?
Any thoughts will be appreciated!
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Replies

  • Do what YOU feel best about for yourself. Beaus come and go but you will always be with yourself, so do what makes you the happiest and healthiest. IMHO and that from a very happily marrried woman.:wink:
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
    I would continue with your journey. If this guy loves you now he will also love you when you are at your goal weight. If he doesnt then he was not the right guy for you.
  • AnjaZ89
    AnjaZ89 Posts: 235
    so I assume he likes you for your body and not for your personality?
    IMO you should continue losing weight, and if he still is interested in you then its wonderful but if he loses interest hes an a$%hole...
  • Squiggs67
    Squiggs67 Posts: 178
    Stick to your plan. It was there before him.
  • graveflower316
    graveflower316 Posts: 169 Member
    It's great that he doesn't think you need to lose anymore weight and that you're beautiful as is, but I guarantee, if you continue losing weight because it makes YOU happy, he'll be happy too. :]
  • Stick to your plan.. you are doing this for you.. I always say to my friends and this will be repeated to my kids when they start to date.. Have a relationship with yourself, learn to love it and then share it with someone else. what you have accomplished so far is fantastic! Stick to your guns girl!
  • bostongeek
    bostongeek Posts: 80 Member
    It's YOUR body. Don't let someone else (especially someone new!) change what you want to do with your body.

    Also, anyone who doesn't like you for who you are, regardless of your size, isn't worth it no matter how nice he is.
  • mandyneedtolose
    mandyneedtolose Posts: 398 Member
    Keep with your orginal plan!!! Men come and they go. The only person that you can totally count on is yourself, and you need to be happy and healthy!! When you are happy with yourself, then that in turn makes the people around you happy! :) If you want to continue then do so. If you are comfortable where you are at then stop. But I wouldn't suggest doing for that "someone special", do it for you! :)
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I was really attracted to my wife when we first met, and I liked her exactly the way she was.
    It seems like each year though, she keeps getting older . . .


    i.e. things change and good love can cope.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,327 Member
    My personal mantra...."Don't go out of your WEIGH to please anyone but yourself."
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    I really think its just his way of telling you he loves you unconditionally (which is awesome) no matter how much you weigh.

    Do whats best for you.
  • Rogue_Minx
    Rogue_Minx Posts: 71 Member
    Stick to your plan. If he really cares about you, he will support you AND your goals. He isn't allowed to tell you to stay one way or to change. It's all completely up to you. It's YOUR body and YOUR life.
  • NAcetoLang
    NAcetoLang Posts: 517 Member
    I am going through the same thing. He can accept me the way I am, but can I? I started this journey for myself and my own health. While I am happy to have someone who loves me for who I am on the inside, I know that I will live longer and stronger if I lose weight. If he truly does love me for who I am, then he will support me in becoming who I want to be.

    Choose you... and he will love you for it. If he doesn't, then he isn't really accepting who you are, is he?

    Just my two cents...
  • geonbaeLeilee
    geonbaeLeilee Posts: 606 Member
    I would continue with your journey. If this guy loves you now he will also love you when you are at your goal weight. If he doesnt then he was not the right guy for you.

    ^^ This^^
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    You're not doing it for him, you're doing it FOR YOU. So I say keep with it and if he leaves you over it, then he isn't worth it......
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Ditto everyone else. If he's a good guy, he'll like you when you are healthier too.
  • bikinibeliever
    bikinibeliever Posts: 832 Member
    Continue! This person may or may not be here a year from now, but the weight will. If you stop and things don't work out you'll kick yourself over time wasted. You shouldn't lose weight for another, and you shouldn't stop for another.
  • Your a pre-diabetic if he wants you then he wants you healthy. Do what you need for your health he will be happy for you if he is serious.
  • I just read your profile page - says that you are pre-diabetic and have a difficult time going up stairs. I would imagine that these items still exist today despite your success to date. Does this guy really understand the problems you are facing? I would think that he would encourage you to succeed if he is really serious about you. Maybe he has a two story house and he doesn't want you up the stairs or does he have problems and is trying to keep those hidden by discouraging you. What man who is truly interested in you would want you to face the problems you listed in your profile. Don't give up with your plans - look for another guy.
  • amydee714
    amydee714 Posts: 232 Member
    Imagine that you met this wonderful guy who loved you BUT he thought you would look better if you lost 20 pounds? How would that make you feel? It's really not any different. He is telling you what you should do with your body.

    It's sweet that he loves you for who you are inside and out, but that should apply whether you gain 40 or lose 40. Sounds like you are trying to be healthier, not apply for Americas Next Top Model. If he really loves you, he will want you to be healthier.
  • notmac
    notmac Posts: 89
    I think you get the answer from all of us. Take care of yourself first. Get to where you want to be, be healthy, be strong, run up the steps, and .............B.E.A.T diabetes. You are worth it, if he is he will cheer you on.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    The truth is that unforeseen circumstances could change your body 2, 3, 4 or more times during the course of a lifetime. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who felt they needed a say in how I kept my body, provided I was healthy. If he's asking you to stay unhealthy I'd say it's a "no go" for me.
  • jeme3
    jeme3 Posts: 355 Member
    Hopefully, he's just trying to say he cares about you and isn't concerned with your size, and you are beautiful the way you are.

    If he's saying he doesn't want you to lose weight, like don't do it, he won't like it, that sounds like one big giant scary red flag slapping you in the face.

    You are pre-diabetic. You need to take care of yourself and do what is right for you to be healthy. If he cares about you, he gets that and will support you.

    If he knows you are pre-diabetic and is telling you he doesn't want you to lose weight, he's not someone special, he's a controlling, manipulative piece of work that should be kicked top the curb. Now. Not later.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
    But he likes me just as I am. He is hoping I won't lose anymore weight. I have lost almost 25 lbs. I am no where near my goal, but I do feel good and healthy. The main reason I was losing was to be more healthy and not hurt when I walk.
    Do I just (for a while at least) go to a maintenance diet and see how things go, or do I forgo his desires and keep dropping because that was my original plan?
    Any thoughts will be appreciated!

    Happy for you that you found someone, but beware it could be his insecurities trying to hold you back. You know you have to get healthy, then that is what should be your #1 priority, maybe you'll inspire him to get in shape for you :)
  • Lacebopp
    Lacebopp Posts: 92 Member
    Thank you all! No, he doesn't know my health issues (yet) just that I have had success so far in my loss efforts.
    You have all told me what deep inside I really already knew, so thank you for the re-enforcement!
    *hugs* to you all! :)
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    But he likes me just as I am. He is hoping I won't lose anymore weight. I have lost almost 25 lbs. I am no where near my goal, but I do feel good and healthy. The main reason I was losing was to be more healthy and not hurt when I walk.
    Do I just (for a while at least) go to a maintenance diet and see how things go, or do I forgo his desires and keep dropping because that was my original plan?
    Any thoughts will be appreciated!

    uh uh aaaah girlfriend. why u changing yo self fo some raggidy *kitten* man? girl you know better than that. its your body girl, please yourself not some pekkerwood.

    27575264.jpg
  • axialmeow
    axialmeow Posts: 382 Member
    NO. It's good he likes you for you. But this isn't all about appearance. It's about health. You're on the right track. Don't let this get you off track.
  • eliaundria
    eliaundria Posts: 2 Member
    Keep going with your original plan. You are doing this for you!
  • ravenrxx
    ravenrxx Posts: 455 Member
    Stick to your plan. It was there before him.

    ^^^ Wise Words Have Been Spoken.
  • so I assume he likes you for your body and not for your personality?
    IMO you should continue losing weight, and if he still is interested in you then its wonderful but if he loses interest hes an a$%hole...

    I couldn't have said it better:smile: