How can I convince my girlfriend to eat healthier foods?
Options
uglydeuce
Posts: 35 Member
Hey everyone,
So my girlfriend is a very lucky girl, very thin all her life despite eating total junk. Most of the food she eats is frozen instant food or fast food which is taking a toll on our already very short budget. Whenever I offer to go out and get food to make she just whines saying that she'd rather have a burger or heat up some of the sodium rich, preservative rich foods in our freezer.
Not only am I worried about her health in the long run but it also makes it difficult to buy healthy food for myself when I'm trying to lose weight because either I buy food we both can eat (even though I'd rather not) or I buy food that I'll eat and she wont. Or if she heads out to the store she'll buy tons of her favorite frozen meals for us both for the week despite my request for her to pick something up that is healthy (although this time she did come back with mac and cheese with apples... it was better than freezer fish and hungry man meals).
Thoughts?
So my girlfriend is a very lucky girl, very thin all her life despite eating total junk. Most of the food she eats is frozen instant food or fast food which is taking a toll on our already very short budget. Whenever I offer to go out and get food to make she just whines saying that she'd rather have a burger or heat up some of the sodium rich, preservative rich foods in our freezer.
Not only am I worried about her health in the long run but it also makes it difficult to buy healthy food for myself when I'm trying to lose weight because either I buy food we both can eat (even though I'd rather not) or I buy food that I'll eat and she wont. Or if she heads out to the store she'll buy tons of her favorite frozen meals for us both for the week despite my request for her to pick something up that is healthy (although this time she did come back with mac and cheese with apples... it was better than freezer fish and hungry man meals).
Thoughts?
0
Replies
-
my only thought is to try making homemade versions of what she normally eats i.e homemade burgers with sweet potato wedges
and hope she finds them tastier!
good luck0 -
It seems like she doesn't respect or support your healthy lifestyle endeavors. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with her, telling her how you feel. Otherwise, it will just continue. Or you can just buy your own food from now on and prepare your own meals. As for her? Tough.0
-
My husband was like this until he got colon cancer. Food does more than control the size of our bodies. read about anti-cancer diets and let her know that it is all about health and not size.0
-
the short answer is "you can't" you can present your argument, offer support, and hope for the best, but unless they are your prisoner, only that person can convince themselves to be healthy.
If she's willing to accept your commentary on her nutrition, then try to keep your tone very neutral or supportive.
Don't use terms that can elicit a negative response. Words like "can't" or "shouldn't". Anything that makes them defensive could kick the self-preservation instinct in to override common sense. Give her the positive options, make it feel like she is making the decision, offer her the choice to join you, then try to find a method that makes sense for both of you. I.E. find healthy foods she likes and offer to make that a more common choice for your meals.
Again, you can't manipulate or make someone choose a healthier lifestyle, guilt, coercion, and force techniques don't work in this setting, the only thing you can do is be supportive, informative, and hopeful.0 -
my only thought is to try making homemade versions of what she normally eats i.e homemade burgers with sweet potato wedges
and hope she finds them tastier!
good luck
Yup this is a great idea...perhaps if you can get her into the kitchen "with" you and show her that she can still eat what she wants AND be healthy it just might work...plus you get do something together!0 -
My thoughts are that it's up to her what she eats and without sounding harsh you have to have some willpower when she buys stuff you 'can't' have and do your own food shopping.
Only she can decide to change the way she eats.0 -
Why not do a deal, one night your way, one night hers as long as she tries to do healthier for you. Or try to work out what saving you could make by not buying processed and then have a treat at the end of it which may just give her an incentive to help you out a bit more.0
-
dump her0
-
It seems like she doesn't respect or support your healthy lifestyle endeavors. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with her, telling her how you feel. Otherwise, it will just continue. Or you can just buy your own food from now on and prepare your own meals. As for her? Tough.
My fiance and I live together and have shared finances. We try to do grocery trips together. I would much rather cook my food at home. I cook and if he wants some he can eat it. He can always make his own food, eat something frozen/microwaved or get fast food. It is not my job to take care of him.0 -
You are going to have to set a boundary for yourself. Insist that you buy your own food. Lean Cuisine has cheap frozen food that is low in calories. Also, start cooking for yourself and she will get interested. Look up skinnytaste.com, there are some great recipes that I'm sure she will like. If you want to lose weight you will have to put your foot down in order to get your needs met.0
-
The challenge - as someone already mentioned - is that you can't make someone do something they do not want to do unfortunately. However, this being said, in a relationship, both parties need to compromise for the happiness of the other.
In your case possibly trading nights would work but since you are the one that wants to change something that has probably become comfortable for her (assuming you were just fine with the food before you decided to do something) then the onus and the majority of the work to make the changes will have to come from you. Offer to cook dinner, maybe even try a nice romantic dinner? explain to her that you are worried about HER - don't make it about you because that won't work.. communicate with each other and try to get her to accept some 'small' changes - say..2 nights a week you cook something (together or not) from scratch. Once you have that working then you can try for more small changes.
The trick is not to try to force anything and to take it SLOW. If you are both committed to the relationship the changes will happen eventually. If not well...you will figure it out. Good luck!0 -
My fiance and I live together and have shared finances. We try to do grocery trips together. I would much rather cook my food at home. I cook and if he wants some he can eat it. He can always make his own food, eat something frozen/microwaved or get fast food. It is not my job to take care of him.
^^^This... and you cannot change someone who does not want to change and trying to change someone or their eating habits is counter-productive to a good relationship...0 -
Do you live together? Meaning, do you share a budget? If so, offer to take her shopping for things that you think will help both of you become healthy. You can make your own "freezer" meals like casseroles. Maybe your dedication to a healthier lifestyle (which translates to longer time in love) will be the motivation she needs?
My fiance is the same way. He's very thin and can eat almost anything. I'll make a meal and he'll partake if hungry, but lately we've been eating separate things (which I don't like because it feels less like something we're doing together) because I can't afford to put off good health anymore. I whipped up a quick dinner last night of steamed broccoli (from the frozen foods aisle) and pan sauteed chicken breast. Took me 10 minutes, even getting the water boiling for the broccoli. He had an entire bag of the PF Chang's broccoli and beef frozen entree.
If convenience is an issue, there are many quick fixes you can make, especially if you do a little planning ahead. But as far as her own motivation, that's gotta come from her. You gotta do what's right for you before you can really help anyone else.0 -
Until you stop eating what she buys, she will continue to buy it. You eating it is just an approval of her purchase.
Bottom line is that you can only control YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR, she will likely change if you are consistent.0 -
My fiance and I live together and have shared finances. We try to do grocery trips together. I would much rather cook my food at home. I cook and if he wants some he can eat it. He can always make his own food, eat something frozen/microwaved or get fast food. It is not my job to take care of him.
^^^This... and you cannot change someone who does not want to change and trying to change someone or their eating habits is counter-productive to a good relationship...
Well said0 -
If she's really not willing to compromise, split your food budget in half. Half for her to buy her awful instant **** and half for you to be healthy.
You can't force someone to eat healthier. If she starts showing an interest in it after seeing how well it's working for you, maybe you can combine forces again... Until then, it looks like you just need to look after yourself.
Naturally skinny people can often be very uneducated about food and nutrition in general, because they've never NEEDED to worry about it.
Edit to say: I've been living back with my dad for the last 6 months since I finished university. He's naturally skinny, even at 59 years old, but he is the king of convenience food and tends to eat just one HUGE meal a day. I can't eat like that, so I buy all my own food. We still eat together at dinnertime, so the social aspect isn't lost, but we have to keep it seperate for the sake of my diet.0 -
I feel exactly the same with my boyfriend. He is not blessed by being skinny, he is about 15-16 stone and probably only 5'8-5'11 (somewhere between there!). He can't say no to free food, and order Domino's pizzas like he's not going to live to see another day. He refuses to eat breakfast, he says his breakfast includes a cigarette, a cup of coffee and several cans of energy drinks (not even the small ones, the big cans of Red Bull or Relentless).
If you do live together, like other people are saying, you are best off buying stuff you want to eat, and if she doesn't like it, then you tell her she needs to go and buy her own food. She may buy food for a while, but will soon get fed up with it.0 -
I know you have good intentions but please always remember that you can only control what YOU eat. She isn't being helpful or supportive to you but until you take ownership of your own body and food intake you won't see the results you're seeking. I've been there and done that---decades of codependent eating and whacko fad diets---I finally "get it". Just because others around me may chose to eat junk doesn't give me permission to do the same. I CHOSE what I eat and have been SO happy and satisfied. If she sees you doing well just maybe she might follow in your footsteps. Good luck and be strong for YOU and nobody else.
0 -
my only thought is to try making homemade versions of what she normally eats i.e homemade burgers with sweet potato wedges
and hope she finds them tastier!
good luck
this and cook for her once a week for a start healthy of course! :bigsmile:0 -
my only thought is to try making homemade versions of what she normally eats i.e homemade burgers with sweet potato wedges
and hope she finds them tastier!
good luck
this is what i did, it works! Being slim doesnt always mean healthy, i am the biggest of all my friends and they eat whatever they want, one has very high cholesterol that her doctor is worried about and in general their fitness level is much lower than mine. Being thin doesnt make you safe from heart diseases etc maybe point this out? plus it will likely catch her up when shes older xx0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 395 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 960 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions