New & Ashamed.

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controlkeys
controlkeys Posts: 9
in Introduce Yourself
Hello. I'm new to this site, or I've had it for a while but never used it.

So, after stepping on the scale today I just.. I've had it. I can't let it go on like this, I need to lose so horribly much weight. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a couple of years and due to this gained a lot (and I've never been healthy). I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm also scared to fail. But, I have no future like this and I want a life. I wanna be beautiful and be that girl that I feel I am inside.

My goal is to lose about 60 kgs (132 lbs) which is like, so bloody much. I've let my eating habits take control over me, and I just wanna get that control back again. I also wish to be called beautiful, to have someone look up to me and to look good in a bikini. I'm young, I'm supposed to wanna show of my body but right now I'm even scared of seeing it myself.
But yeah.. My biggest goal? It's just to learn to accept myself.
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Replies

  • BAFilek
    BAFilek Posts: 139 Member
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    Make small goals. For instance, maybe by year end you want to lose 20 pounds (sorry, I'm in the US!) so here are suggestions for goals:

    Track all food
    Exercise 2-3 times/week for one hour

    At the beginning of the year, create new goals for two months out - exercising 3-4 times/week and still tracking food, but reducing the amount of calorie intake

    Notice I didn't say to keep your calorie levels low the first goal? You will see how much you eat and (I think) become aware of what you are putting in your mouth. I think with making and obtaining smaller goals, you will succeed in the larger goal of 60 kgs.

    Good luck!
  • lenartn
    lenartn Posts: 27 Member
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    I am the same. I become a member here a while ago but never used it. After hitting a point where I couldn't take being this big any longer I am now determined to change and lose the weight. Also, I would like to have 1 more baby, and it couldn't be healthy at my current weight. I am down 14 pounds in 3 weeks so far, now I just need to stay on track. My history is I get off track for a couple days and never go back. I'm trying to build friends and support on here so I don't do that again. Feel free to add me! We'll all encourage and motivate each other.
  • controlkeys
    controlkeys Posts: 9
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    Thank you both for replying. I'm happily surprised how nice people are on here.

    Small goals, I'm trying. It's hard though, I'm one of those persons that just.. I need everything to change so fast, and it doesn't. Just like it took me years to put on all this weight, it'll probably take years to be as fit as I want to. It's just hard, I know I can't lose it all over night, but I still want to..

    I know exactly what you mean with " My history is I get off track for a couple days and never go back.. " But 14 pounds in 3 weeks, that's great! I'm really happy for you.
  • Francesca941
    Francesca941 Posts: 9
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    I know for myself I had to reach a "rock bottom" moment before I was able to really commit myself to even verbalize my goals out loud. I knew that once I said it out loud and I had people around me to be accountable to, I was going to have to practice a lot more self-discipline... It's been a rough/slow start and there've been so many ups and downs. But the point is - just keep trying to make better choices every day.
    Here's what helps me:
    Don't allow yourself to weigh-in except at the same time, same day every week - before eating's best (otherwise I get obsessed with the miniscule changes and fluctuations and it backfires).
    Don't deny yourself the things you like most - just pay attention to the normal serving sizes.
    Be honest with yourself (and your friends on MFP) - add your weigh-ins even when they are disappointing. I find it helps me if I force myself to be accountable to others, even if they are strangers!
    Most importantly - just find what works for you!
    Good luck to you with your goals and the road before you, as long as you keep moving forward you will be successful! =D
  • juliec33
    juliec33 Posts: 238 Member
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    Welcome to MFP. Sounds like you are really ready to make this change. The people on this site are so nice and encouraging! It's great to know that so many people are working toward the goal of weight loss or getting healthy and fit. You are not alone in this.

    Small goals are the way to go. I know that it helped me to set goals that weren't weight related, like being able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I'm about to have a heart attack or just showing up for all of my workouts that first month. Even when the scale wasn't being my friend I could always look at the progress regarding the other goals and be proud of what I had accomplished. It helped me not discouraged if I hadn't lost weight. If you make small healthy goals you will lose weight without obsessing about the number on the scale.

    Good luck! Add me if you wouold like. I love to encourage and be encouraged by my MFP friends.
  • Tempe729
    Tempe729 Posts: 270 Member
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    First off, I wouldn't be ashamed! The fact that you've told yourself to get back on here and make a change in your life is absolutely awesome! :drinker:

    And it generally seems to be the case, but if you have a lot of weight to lose you'll probably lose a lot fast (like Lenartn and her 13 pounds in 3 weeks!) but you're probably going to hit plateaus like everyone else.

    It's hard! But trust me, it's all worth it!

    I agree with Francesca941 though.... limit yourself to a weigh-in once a week (best time to do it is first thing in the morning, after using the bathroom and before eating or drinking anything) and make sure you take measurments! Even if the pounds don't drop off as fast as you may hope, it'll be the inches that tell you how well you're doing (I lost 34 pounds and 32 inches within 3.5 months when I first started.. its not much weight but I dropped from a 1X shirt to a medium and 2 pant sizes) also, take before pictures of yourself. Yes it's hard to do, but if you take new pictures every month or two alone with measurements its amazing to see the changes! (for me, my starting pictures that I took, I look at them from time to time to remind myself what I never want to be again.... it gives me the kick to keep going despite the plateaus i've hit):noway:

    Feel free to add me though! I would love to help out and keep you encouraged and MFP has been so awesome for me and for all my friends!
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    I started on here at 233.8 pounds nov 2012...and as of yesterday I am 113.0 You can do it...you have taken the first step coming on here. If you really want the weight off you can make it happen. Your diet is the first thing you need to change and then try and keep moving. Just walking around, not sitting much make a huge difference. Then as you go you can add more exercise.

    Good luck, add me if you would like too : )
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
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    I've lost 130. Takes time but can be done and if you're willing to cook your own foods from scratch you don't need to deprive yourself.
  • Tempe729
    Tempe729 Posts: 270 Member
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    along with measurements***

    I suggest measuring and keeping track of your.....

    Neck
    Upper arms
    Bust/Chest
    Waist
    Hips
    Thighs
  • Rogue_Minx
    Rogue_Minx Posts: 71 Member
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    I started losing weight January and I've totaled 35 pounds so far. I only started using MFP 12 pounds ago. You're going to have some pitfalls and sometimes its going to feel impossibly hard to stay on track but, if you want it bad enough (and it sounds like you do), you'll keep trucking in the right direction.

    Feel free to add me as a friend on here. I enjoy talking to a lot of people that feel like I used to. Back when I first started, I was so down on myself that the weight wasn't coming off right away but now, looking back on it all, it was so worth it. Looking at myself in the mirror now is still a surprise to me sometimes.

    Don't worry. You can DO this.
  • schmenge55
    schmenge55 Posts: 745 Member
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    You can do this! As others have said, make small changes. The weight did not go on overnight so don't expect it to come off overnight. Do too much too fast and it is hard to maintain. Make your changes for life. Get plenty of encouraging friends. Feel free to add me if you like. Good luck on your journey. You CAN do this!
  • JeanetDK
    JeanetDK Posts: 30
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    I honestly feel like it could have been writing that post. Struggling with depression, overweight and just the general idea of just being alive. Some days is just hard.

    You've already got some good suggestions here. Definitely look at the short term goal right now. I've decided that by the end of the year I'll be ten kg lighter and I'm already two kg in. Feel free to add me as a friend and I'll do my best to encourage you along the way!

    You can do it!
  • dynad
    dynad Posts: 87 Member
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    No need to feel ashamed we are all here for you. I bought a book
    Fat to Fit and it made some sense.

    good luck in you're new life:):wink:
  • ArieB88wechanged
    ArieB88wechanged Posts: 6
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    YOU CAN DO IT! Just remember the longer it takes to loose the longer its going to be off n vise versa..
  • magairlin
    magairlin Posts: 93 Member
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    You can do it but you have to acknowledge that it won't be easy. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I would suggest that you take it one day at a time ( I think that is what alcoholics do) and only weigh yourself once every two weeks at the same time naked before breakfast. If you weigh in very often you might get discouraged if the results are not as quick in coming as you hoped. Once every two weeks you should see a great result. Look forward to that day and if you crave a high calorie food tell yourself that you can have it on weigh in day. That way you may not want it when the day comes and you see the great result on the scale or if you do want it you will enjoy it and feel that you worked for it and deserve it. Come onto the site every day and log what you eat and the exercise you do and remember one day at a time. I think that by posting your message you have made a great start. Best of luck.
  • ShelleyD1960
    ShelleyD1960 Posts: 5
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    Dear Controlkeys, You are not alone in this struggel to lose unwanted pounds please please give this site a chance I have lost 20 pounds so far and if I had not had those days were i ate all i could eat i would of lost more but i feel im doing this life change not a diet for my health . This really works if you stick to it. It is harder to lose when your over 30 and stress eat like most of us ladies do but just give it a try. I find that every food i see now is a calorie and i think befor it goes in my mouth this helps me make a good choice or even a bad one if I choose too. wish you much luck shelleyD1960
  • 73Freckles
    73Freckles Posts: 201 Member
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    you can do this!! we are all here for you. I have just over 100 lbs to lose too. So far my ticker says zero becasue I'm just starting and I don't way in for another 10 days. I've changed my eating habits and I've started moving more and i feel better already. You can and you will succeed!! The only failure is to not try! Huggs!!
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    Welcome! You took the first big step, congrats. I agree with the small goals. I started on here with 115lbs to lose and if let myself dwell on that number for very long I would get depressed and overwhelmed. So, what I concentrated on was taking one day at a time, one meal at a time. Make good choices at the meal in front of you and at the next meal make good choices again. I try not to let myself get too hungry or else I will overeat. When I started out I was exercising about 2-3 days a week. Now I do about 5 days a week. Do what you can at a pace you can handle. The next time challenge yourself to go a little further, a little faster. Every time you go out beat your last record.

    You can do this! I am on here everyday and I like to encourage my friends so feel free to add me if you want.
  • mollz007
    mollz007 Posts: 168 Member
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    Welcome back t MFP... glad you have made a committment to do something about your weight! I have bettled anxiety and depression since high school and that along with the meds I had to take ffor it contributed significantly to my weight gain. I am sending you a friend request!
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
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    Hey you've taken the first, biggest step--identifying and accepting the issue. I suggest starting with little goals also, once you get the diet and exercise planned out. That's the main thing for me. I try for 10 lbs at a time. If you have a lot of extra weight, it will start coming off quite quickly at first, which is encouraging. But I also do measurements and body fat percentage, for those times when the scale seems to be stuck. NSV (non-scale victories, like dropping a clothing size) need to be celebrated too. Something I find very encouraging is to give myself a little non-food reward, like my first pair of skinny jeans or a new book, or something like that. Or you could save up (put some money in a piggy bank for every pound lost) for something special. Do what works for you! And congratulations on your first step, you can do it!

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