Relationship Suggestions?

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Replies

  • trackstack
    trackstack Posts: 174 Member
    Look, this going to sound crazy for a couple of reasons, one because you're 20 and have no practice doing this. Secondly, because almost everyone in this world believes that if we try to control our own thoughts and feelings, then we're not being ourself. We're supposed to be slaves to our emotions and desires. We have such a self gratifying society that we think- just feel things and think things and hopefully it will stop. Now try this...Stop f*cking thinking about him. If a thought enters your mind clear it and think of something else...anything, even your boyfriend. If you feel an urge, re route it, go running, go out, etc. It doesn't always make it go away but you can keep trying and hopefully next time it will be easier...and don't use this guy for fantasy fulfilling. Finally, stop listening to people who say it's natural and there is nothing you can do. It's your thoughts and feelings and body; you can control them just like picking up your arm...with practice. Good luck.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    It's doomed.

    You and your boyfriend. You are both way too young. . I'm not saying this just because you are crushing this other guy. . but there are things called oats. . we all have them and they are wild. . They MUST be sown, and then reaped. . Once that's out of the way, you and your current BF can meet up when you are both in your mid-30s just going through your first divorces. .
  • dg730
    dg730 Posts: 62
    It's doomed.

    You and your boyfriend. You are both way too young. . I'm not saying this just because you are crushing this other guy. . but there are things called oats. . we all have them and they are wild. . They MUST be sown, and then reaped. . Once that's out of the way, you and your current BF can meet up when you are both in your mid-30s just going through your first divorces. .

    Been married since I was nineteen.still married 10 years later. Not saying your wrong, but its not always like that.
  • dg730
    dg730 Posts: 62
    It's doomed.

    You and your boyfriend. You are both way too young. . I'm not saying this just because you are crushing this other guy. . but there are things called oats. . we all have them and they are wild. . They MUST be sown, and then reaped. . Once that's out of the way, you and your current BF can meet up when you are both in your mid-30s just going through your first divorces. .

    Been married since I was nineteen.still married 10 years later. Not saying your wrong, but its not always like that.

    Never mind I take that back. Totally right.
  • raj83168
    raj83168 Posts: 44
    I haven't read through others suggestions, but do you mind sharing wht qualities make you more attracted towards this person, as compared to your current BF?
  • Summerful
    Summerful Posts: 46 Member
    possibly lol link?
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    possibly lol link?

    sorry read it a long time back..no clue...try your browser history..that should work!

    Good luck!
  • Summerful
    Summerful Posts: 46 Member
    I guess I am losing how I use to feel for my boyfriend... we have learned a lot about each other (some good but mostly bad).. I would still like to be his friend but I am still so confused... hopefully will figure it out by new years when I see them both again.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Honey. One thing you can really take from all of this is that you are 20.
    And if you are this wishy washy, chances are you don't need to be in a serious relationship right now. Now, that's not a bad thing. And I'm not trying to critique you. It's perfectly ok.

    In life sometimes in order to know what you REALLY want you just have t live a while. Some people need to experience EVERYTHING before they know what they in their hearts really want. This isn't a bad thing.

    Stay friends with both, but focus on your education and just have a good time. The rest will eventually fall into place.
  • DrewMartGrawr
    DrewMartGrawr Posts: 23
    Look, this going to sound crazy for a couple of reasons, one because you're 20 and have no practice doing this. Secondly, because almost everyone in this world believes that if we try to control our own thoughts and feelings, then we're not being ourself. We're supposed to be slaves to our emotions and desires. We have such a self gratifying society that we think- just feel things and think things and hopefully it will stop. Now try this...Stop f*cking thinking about him. If a thought enters your mind clear it and think of something else...anything, even your boyfriend. If you feel an urge, re route it, go running, go out, etc. It doesn't always make it go away but you can keep trying and hopefully next time it will be easier...and don't use this guy for fantasy fulfilling. Finally, stop listening to people who say it's natural and there is nothing you can do. It's your thoughts and feelings and body; you can control them just like picking up your arm...with practice. Good luck.

    ^ Good advice. How many couples out there tell each other that they're the only ones for each other, only to split because someone new enters the picture? All this "follow your heart" nonsense does is give justification to people who can't learn to commit. If you're not exclusive, then whatever. But don't pretend to give someone your all when you're not. I know this is on an individual basis, and I'm not saying it will go as far as cheating. If you're not happy with someone, try to fix it. If that doesn't work, so be it. But don't drag them along until it finally turns into the I-met-someone-else excuse.

    I don't think I'll ever be able to impart my every assurance to a woman again. Someone tells you that you're the only one for them and not a week later they're wearing a ring from someone else, and they pick out all your bad qualities to legitimize moving on. Everyone has their secrets. I know that. But this is a big one. If you're happy and feel loved and cherished, don't let it in.

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