Called fat by a stranger.

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Replies

  • mrstom09
    mrstom09 Posts: 5
    Its so sad that we have all got so many stories about random strangers calling us fat.

    I have had it on a number of occassions, even a boy of about 5 who lives up my road shouting 'your fat' at me. I don't understand why complete strangers feel the need to make us feel so bad about ourselves.
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 492 Member
    This is so sad. We have the same problem here in the UK. Kids are just so cocky and rude. :angry:

    BUT, not my kids! Oh no. Never. They wouldn't DARE. And why is that? Cos their father & I have brought them up better than that. They know it's wrong and hurtful and I can't imagine either of them speaking to anyone like that.

    Please don't let this pu you off havng kids, they really are a joy, but you gotta lay down the rules from an early age!!

    If i were you I would put the indignation and anger into my workouts! Think of them when you're hurting and push that little bit harder! Best of luck with your goals :flowerforyou:
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 492 Member
    I would have sat on the little ****er.

    :laugh:
  • some kids are just ignorant.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
    I have been called "Fat" by many people throughout my life... I am aware that I do not look as fat as I used to look... On the other hand, I still feel very fat... It is a long story and I do not want to talk too much about myself right now...

    But, I believe that those kids who called you fat are wrong...

    I think children need to be taught that there is more than one acceptable body type... They also need to be taught not to use vulgar language to strangers or anyone else in public...
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
    next time, just turn around and stroll on back, with a nice smile, " best thing about being fat? is I can lose it, you can't do that with stupid, sorry kiddo." turn around and keep on a walking with a smile.
  • louised88
    louised88 Posts: 159

    And for the person on this thread who intimated that people who get called fat must not be as confident a personality and are therefore somehow asking for this behavior... My only words are, "Wow. How ignorant." Perhaps you did not intend your words to come across that way, but they did.

    I absolutely agree. And saying the OP is 'as bad' for calling 12 year olds *kitten*? Sorry, but as awful as sweeping generalisations are, 12 years olds are not an oppressed group and calling them *kitten* is nowhere near as bad as deliberately targeting and attacking an individual who has done NOTHING except have the temerity to go outside while fat.
  • kann09
    kann09 Posts: 12
    Who cares what they say. That age they have an IQ for a gnat anyway. Just keep on track for yourself not others. You dont let kids in spiderman underwear uspset you. I know it hard but, try and brush it off. You are doing good and keep going
  • ValTheRizzle
    ValTheRizzle Posts: 28 Member
    I rejected a guy at a club once, and he randomly called me a fat b*tch. I guess he was mad I refused to dance with him. It really stung and ruined the rest of the night! How was I supposed to shake my stuff if I was feeling that unconfident!?

    People are rude. People are mean. But most people aren't making a positive life change like we are. Just keep pushing forward and keep your head held high!

    I've had this same thing happen to me on multiple occassions. Like it makes them feel better to just call me fat than deal with the fact that someone doesn't want to dance with them. It's ruined my night before too. I really don't let it bother me anymore, because I know that if anyone hears them, it makes them look like an idiot, not me.

    People are mean, bullies are everywhere, even when we're adults. It's sad.
  • kittyandclouds
    kittyandclouds Posts: 2 Member
    Nope, they are rude. I never have but my family has. I wanted to punch a girl out in class one time for calling my best friend a fat C*** to HER FACE.
  • jubeemine
    jubeemine Posts: 13
    I've been called awful names all my life. Nothing recent though. I have 4 girls, my oldest is 9. Once, in a store..when she was about 7..we passed a very overweight woman using one of the motorized carts. My daughter stopped and stared. Without skipping a beat, I looked down at her and said. "Isn't she beautiful?". The woman turned and looked at me, tears in her eyes, and thanked me.

    Not all kids are little ****s. And Karma sucks.
  • lovekohl
    lovekohl Posts: 111 Member
    That's so horrible. I've been called pregnant multiple times when I'm actually not. Please don't let those kids keep you from wanting kids. It has everything to do with how children are raised. It's very possible to teach your kids how to be polite and respectful even when they get an earful of that kind of stuff when they're at school or the park. Try and let it roll off your shoulder even though I know that's way easier said than done. *hugs*
  • lovekohl
    lovekohl Posts: 111 Member
    I may raise some eyebrows, but here is my philosophy:

    FAT is not a curse word. All it does is identify a person.
    Calling someone tall, short, skinny, black, brown etc.. is just a way to identify someone if you don't know them.
    But society has made the word FAT too complicated.
    People should not take offense to such things.

    That is just what I think.
    I apologize in advance if my philosophy made you mad.

    I agree that the word fat, when used as a descriptive term, is not a bad word on its own. It's when people use that word with the intent to hurt someone's feelings or as a derogatory remark as when combined with a curse word. There is definitely a difference. It's possible to use any adjective with a negative connotaion. Any of the words you listed (tall, short, skinny, black, brown) could be and have been used in a way that was meant to be hurtful. It's all about the tone and the context.
  • Kids are only stupid when their parents let them be. That's my opinion anyway. Just ignore them. You've lost a great deal of weight so far and you don't need a teenybopper trying to bring you down. Obviously they have issues themselves when they can mouth off to a complete stranger like that. Did you say they were on their bikes? Yeah, I would have knocked it over and laughed. Okay, maybe not.. but I would have thought about it. Sorry they were jerks. :( It's always upsetting - especially when YOU know you've been doing the right thing! Keep it up!
  • Filomenaaa
    Filomenaaa Posts: 61 Member
    Thats horrible im so sorry that happened!!! Hopefully it doesnt discourage your running!! They were obv stupid insecure individuals
  • im a kid myself, i agree kids can be cruel. just dont let it get to you..it happens to someone at least once in their life :)
  • ipodfreek
    ipodfreek Posts: 8 Member
    Sometimes people just suck.
  • sabinavaughan
    sabinavaughan Posts: 109 Member
    Please don't let them get to you hun. Like others have said its the parents not the kids. I have 3 boys and I tell ya they would never do something like that because I am not afraid to spank them if they did.

    Don't let that turn you off having children either. You are the parent and you will decide how to raise that child. It kills me to see how they are acting now a days. Scares me...my sis in law said I got lucky with my kids (hers are outta control half the time), I laughed said luck..no way...I was tough on them at first..strict and very involved in their lives (still am), but my kids know that if their dad or I said "no" its no.

    I think your doing awesome, you did go to the park and you know what??? You came here and posted and didn't grab something to munch right? Hang in their girl!

    <hugz>

    Sabina
  • ipodfreek
    ipodfreek Posts: 8 Member
    Congrats on the 30 pounds!! :)


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  • ellie319
    ellie319 Posts: 139 Member
    kids are awful bc their parents allow them to be...let me catch my daughter being disrespectful and she will recieve a swat to the tush...
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    Yep, I've been yelled at from cars and houses (once was wearing a red shirt and someone shouted out their window at me "Hey, Kool Aid!"). I didn't wear red for about 10 years after that. I used to be followed down the street by my neighbor's kids while they shouted all manner of insults at me and my children (my youngest was an infant at that time, and they constantly called him "Ugly Baby"). I never knew how to handle it, so I never said anything. It still hurts, but if it happened to me now, there are a few choice things I would say to the person, child or not. People are rude, but they will not be rude to ME and get away with it. And my kids better be prepared for Armageddon if I ever catch them saying anything mean like that to anyone...lol

    You just keep being awesome and let those people be miserable all by themselves. <3
  • ellie319
    ellie319 Posts: 139 Member
    Yep, I've been yelled at from cars and houses (once was wearing a red shirt and someone shouted out their window at me "Hey, Kool Aid!"). I didn't wear red for about 10 years after that. I used to be followed down the street by my neighbor's kids while they shouted all manner of insults at me and my children (my youngest was an infant at that time, and they constantly called him "Ugly Baby"). I never knew how to handle it, so I never said anything. It still hurts, but if it happened to me now, there are a few choice things I would say to the person, child or not. People are rude, but they will not be rude to ME and get away with it. And my kids better be prepared for Armageddon if I ever catch them saying anything mean like that to anyone...lol

    You just keep being awesome and let those people be miserable all by themselves. <3


    WTF....dude Im sorry! If anybody ever called my baby ugly Id get physical with them.No one should tolerate them,my heart hurts for you.
  • thelpv
    thelpv Posts: 1
    I know that this post has been quiet for a while but I just wanted to say that, at least for me, much good has come out of your unfortunate experience. :smile:

    This post has uplifted me in knowing that Im not alone in my struggles to lose weight and not alone in experiencing hurt by the cutting words of others. Sometimes after you're insulted so openly by strangers, you can feel really alone. Reading through others responses has been extremely comforting to me especially when you have a fresh wound and you're feeling kinda low.

    A little background, I have a min pin who is larger than the breed standard and I recently adopted a pug who is not only bigger than breed standard, he's just plain huge for a pug.
    I havent had any problems with walking them except the occasional person stopping me asking me what the pug is mixed with because he's huge. Its just normal curiosity.

    A few weeks ago, I was walking along and a guy shouts from his car "oh look, its a fat girl walking her fat dogs HAHAHAHA" I shrugged it off but it still kinda stayed with me and manifested itself into extra self consciousness, every time I walked them.

    I have since moved to a different city and am trying to find my regular walking/jogging routine again. Yesterday, I was out walking and came to be in front of a house where the occupants were just happening to have a bbq. It was a large latino affair and there were people everywhere. A couple on the porch were just watching me as i passed by the house.
    I dont speak spanish so i didnt understand everything they were saying to each other but I clearly heard the words "pinche puerca" being uttered at me. They then followed that up with a laugh and started making out and kept staring at me.
    I just looked at them puzzled and then kept along.
    It was killing me to figure out what they said so I looked it up when I got back to my place. "fat ****ing pig" is the general consensus. Not only that, but also "sloppy" and "slut" and "someone whose fat rolls are disgustingly apparent" are thrown into some meanings too (urban dictionary can be a double edged sword when finding out slang meanings) I was embarrassed and devastated.
    I kept hoping that maybe they were just making fun of my big pug but its pretty unlikely.

    One last incident: I was online playing poker on one of those facebook casino apps. They arrange it so your profile picture is visible to the people you're playing with.Also, they have a chat box so you can talk to other players. Im not sure what set this one guy off but out of nowhere, he writes in the chat box (which is visible to the entire room) "Hey LPV, why dont you keep your fat, ****ing *kitten* back on the reservation?" ...Im not even native american. Idiot.

    But Im not gonna stop doing what I do. Im not gonna let those *kitten* get the best of me. Im still gonna go on walks. Im still gonna go about my business. Im done feeling bad about my fat. I will eventually get to my weight goal. It doesnt help when people say discouraging **** to you but I believe in karma and even without karma I just need to focus on ME, not the rude *kitten* hats of society.
    I dont look it, but I come from an asian/pacific islander background and I get that some cultures are just more blunt than others but comments against fat people is still rude and unacceptable. Unfortunately the social mores against fat have existed forever and aren't gonna change because I dont like it.

    BUT! I am relieved to hear stories where fat people are attacked (karen the bus monitor, the news reporter who fired back against a rude viewer) and there is a positive public outcry. It shows that not all people are terrible, foul-mouthed monsters. Just because someone says it, does NOT mean that everyone agrees. Humans can be cruel but the positive ones help make up for it.
  • Shellsmiley
    Shellsmiley Posts: 323 Member
    This happened to me three weeks ago: So, I was working out at the gym [keep in mind in the past 72 hours I've received only 7 hours of sleep total] and I was on the treadmill running and some jerk said "Don't fall fatty, you don't want to pay for the machine!" First thought was to get off that treadmill and stomp his *kitten*. Then I looked over and he was BIGGER than me! I just responded "Hope you have a great workout too, looks like you could use it." and finished up and then sat in the massage chair for a while. Then as I was leaving he ACTUALLY tried to ask me on a date - what the hell is wrong with people - my answer was straight up "Oh hell no, comments like those earlier and your lucky I didn't pop you one" and walked away. My trainer Joe laughed when I said that! HA. Jerkwad. I could have been SOOO much more evil as I have zero patience right now - no sleep = b*tch!! :explode: :devil:
  • Shellsmiley
    Shellsmiley Posts: 323 Member
    I may raise some eyebrows, but here is my philosophy:

    FAT is not a curse word. All it does is identify a person.
    Calling someone tall, short, skinny, black, brown etc.. is just a way to identify someone if you don't know them.
    But society has made the word FAT too complicated.
    People should not take offense to such things.

    That is just what I think.
    I apologize in advance if my philosophy made you mad.

    I agree with you, it's just the CONTEXT it's used in that really gets my goat! If someone just yells at me and calls me fat, I actually laugh (to one guys surprise, laughed him out of the store cause it was hilarious the way he said it) but other times, I just wanna pound that person into the cement and walk all over them!
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Hang on.


    While I don't agree the kids should have said that to you... if you are overweight then it was the truth... be it rude anyway.

    BUT


    Then you have said you would have slapped him....... wait a min....... violence over a word you could have ignored & kept going.... like any normal person would have done? Violence is NEVER acceptable.... N E V E R


    Words are just that...words..... violence is physical & CAN hurt.
  • yogeshsarkar
    yogeshsarkar Posts: 119 Member
    I never even got called fat in middle/high school (in ear shot at least)
    Lucky you! Don't remember how many kids I had beaten up in school for calling me fat! Of course people on the streets do point sometime and even laugh, but most of them are ugly anyways, inside and outside.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    It's a good thing you stood up to him.
  • lmbs1966
    lmbs1966 Posts: 57 Member
    Yes, this is correct, but sometimes the F bomb just seems to be the only appropriate response to young punks. If they can dish it out, they can take it.
    Ignoring these kids is the best idea and remember they are kids, cursing back at them only affirms to them that cursing is okay. You're the adult, showing a better example is important, even if you're furious.
  • I am sorry this has happened to you and I am equally sad that it has hurt you so much. Please don't let this experience colour your opinion of young people. I didn't want children either when I was younger but I am now the mother of a beautiful sixteen year old daughter who would never of dreamt of saying this to you or anyone ( and would probably have given your friends in the park a lecture on good manners if she had heard them.)

    I notice on your profile that you have stated that " no doctor would want a fat tech assisting him". Fat or thin it is who you are as a person that matters. My sister who is also large has had no problems pursing this career and is so good she has been head hunted several times in her career. I myself have just landed a job as a newly qualified registered nurse in an area that attracts considerable applicants( and I am considerably larger than you.) It's all about self belief.

    You may get comments from other people in the future, either because they are being nasty or because they don't realise what they are saying could cause offence( my favourite was a child with ASD at my daughters primary school turning round and telling me I was fat........that was one mortified teacher but I said to her he's right I am) Don't let them get you down. Keep your head held high and concentrate on who you are and where you want to be. Hugs