Called fat by a stranger.
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People are going to be rude and judgemental. But I just look at it this way. I'm working on making myself better and healthier for me. To feel good about myself.. Not them.
I remember a quote from a movie, that has helped me so much!
"Just view hateful rude people as "Sandpaper." Sure, they may rub you the wrong way...But remember this.. In time, you become smoothed and polished, and the sandpaper old and worn out and ugly."
:flowerforyou:
What a great quote! That's going to stick with me forever
I've never been called fat to my face, but I do know how cruel and rude children can be. All throughout my childhood I was made fun of for having a big nose, even by kids who were supposed to be my 'friends'. It's not fun when your last name is Norton, and as a 10 year old girl other kids call you 'Snorton Norton'. But I grew a tough skin; and like the quote says, a lot of those kids I knew then peaked in high school and are now on their way downhill while I'm just getting better 0 -
John nailed it - too many parents want to be "best friends" and not parents who MUST teach their kids proper mannerisms. That sucks that happened to you and have you know, you are not a bad person for saying something to these kids. If you don't say anything, who will? I, for one, would have also. I pray I am raising my kids better than that.....and to respect ALL people. Keep pluggin along - you are doing great. 0
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Been there done that. And I have no problem cursing at kids if they are big enough to be stupid and hurtful. Some teenage boys were shooting fireworks off a playset at the play ground and shot bottle rockets out of their hands right at my 4 year old. I told them to stop repeatedly and when they just laughed at me I went apesh!t on their *kitten*.0
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OMG, your mother-in-law? I am sorry to hear that. That is way worse than having it come from a stranger. You can tell off a stranger and walk away. The MIL you have to deal with your whole married life. I hope the husband stands up for you!Im so sorry this happened to you! My mother in law calls me a "fat cow" all the time... I just take it from where its coming from. Yeah they were buttholes for saying it, I would feel more sorry for them because their parents obviously dont care about them.
Keep your chin up girl! You are 23lbs into this, and thats no easy feat!! Good job on how far you have come, and use this as ammo the next time you dont feel like working out or want to eat badly!0 -
Ignoring these kids is the best idea and remember they are kids, cursing back at them only affirms to them that cursing is okay. You're the adult, showing a better example is important, even if you're furious.
^^ This.
I'm truly sorry something like that happened to you and I understand you probably reacted out of anger... but you have to remember that they are children.0 -
you know they've heard that at home sadly enough.
but, when will we all stop giving that insult so much power? Calling someone a "fat *****" needs to be invalidated. I say we just start calling EVERYONE fat *****es just to make it so commonplace like "homie" so that it no longer stings our insides and ruins our fragile psyches.
but I feel that way about the word "retarded" too... we shouldn't be so protective over the word like it actually belongs to the ID classification. because it doesn't. it's outdated and i think does a huge disservice if we say it offends people - which means we're saying the name is still accurate. it's not. like idiot...we use it so much we forget that it once used to be the offending word for mentally disabled. it just doesn't have that same power when we use it so flippantly nor do we associate it anymore with special olympics and it's participants. oh god this is probably so unPC.
(i don't condone ethnic slurs, before flaming begins just to be clear, I won't be responding)0 -
I wasn't necessarily called fat but after I graduated high school I worked in a maternity store. I had put on some weight due to poor diet and lack of exercise. One day while I was helping a customer her mother asked me when my baby was due. I looked at her and said "excuse me?" the lady repeated herself I just looked at her and said "I am not pregnant". I was already embarrassed because she said it in front of other customers but then she made it worse by saying "Oh! Well you have that such a round belly, I thought you were!" I was mortified!
Some people just need a filter.0 -
So sorry that this happened to you...to everyone who posted their experiences.
Kids ARE so rude and disrespectful. I find it quite surprising that the 12 year olds the OP encountered were actually OUTSIDE! I'm guessing MAYBE (doubtful, but maybe) their parents kicked them off the video games and couch and forced them to go outside, and their comments were misdirected anger about having to be outside.
Just remember this...our generations were raised to work for what we want. What are the kids of this up and coming generation going to do when THEY have a health or medical crisis, or when THEY are overweight? They haven't learned to commit, they haven't learned to WORK for something. They will EXPECT SOMEONE else to fix it for them...Entitled to a quick fix. It's a shame...but you have to admit we'll all be able to run circles around those little pukes when they're in their 20's and 30's with arthritis in their thumbs from video games and texting and we're in our 50's and 60's...
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You know, people say these things, because they think it's ok.
Seriously injure them, and they won't say it again.
lol. Ever notice it's not the attractive people yelling out names or making rude comments? Turn around and make a comment about their ears or nose or whatever you notice. lol.0 -
I hate to hear everybody here trashing the parents. You can put your heart and soul into raising a thoughtful, caring child, but you can only do so much, and sooner or later, they will do stupid and thoughtless things. 12 is a tough age, when kids are done with wanting to impress their parents and their teachers, and all they care about is their peers. The sweetest kid in the world can say something positively moronic -- something he doesn't even really mean -- just because his friends are around, egging him on. If the parents were around to hear it, it probably would not happen. I can't speak for the kid in this case... it was a stupid and nasty thing to say... but I would not put any blame on the parents, unless they were standing right there and didn't fuss with him.0
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my response would have been "Too bad your mom didnt abort you"0
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Good for you for confronting them.0
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how other people's children act should have nothing to do with if you should have children or not. Children are not evil or bad, that are made that way by terrible, lazy, careless parents.0
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Sorry you went through that, but when ever i get offended by kids i make them take me to their mom. My family say its wrong for me to do that but, if kids r not acting proper then their mothers should know. and trust me many moms are shocked that their kids are acting up.0
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since I have 4 kids and 10 grands, smart mouth kids don't bother me at all. However, what I would have done is whip out my cell phone & record him saying that - take his pic and then say 'I want to talk to your mother'
they hate that - and it's mad fun
and 9 times out of 10, if you do talk to the mom, that kid will get in trouble cause his mom's prob not thin herself and us moms have to stick together0 -
Yep i was called fat in a bar before... this guy wanted to take our seats even though they were reserved i told him to go away he called me a fat fu** ... made me feel really crappy for the rest of the nite...0
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This has happened to me many times. One recent time that really hurt... I was picking my son up from his after school program and he was doing art at a table with other children. One boy said "Cameron's mom is as big as a hippo!!" and made sure to say it loud and a few times.
My friend was going to try on wedding dresses recently and as she was walking into the store a guy drove by and said something along the lines of "you're too fat for a wedding dress!"0 -
I rejected a guy at a club once, and he randomly called me a fat b*tch. I guess he was mad I refused to dance with him. It really stung and ruined the rest of the night! How was I supposed to shake my stuff if I was feeling that unconfident!?
People are rude. People are mean. But most people aren't making a positive life change like we are. Just keep pushing forward and keep your head held high!
Don't you think it's interesting that you were attractive enough to approach, but now you are a fat *****?0 -
Its not just "kids these days". Kids were awful and mean back when I was a kid. After I turned 13 I did gain weight and I would get made fun of. Not terrible and all the time, I wasn't huge but I was chubby.
Whats worse to me is when I was in my early 20's and I had a co-worker tell me how big I was and she was 10yrs older than me. Kids are one thing, a grown adult telling you that you are fat is worse. She wasn't making fun of me but it was still extremely hurtful and embarrassing.
And yes, I'll cuss at a kid. Like you said, if he is acting like that, he has already said all the cuss words.0 -
That's messed up! Those kids deserved to get put in their place. If they have the b*lls to tell you this to you as your walking by then they obviously don't know what respect is and someone needed to tell them! Good for you!0
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I rejected a guy at a club once, and he randomly called me a fat b*tch. I guess he was mad I refused to dance with him. It really stung and ruined the rest of the night! How was I supposed to shake my stuff if I was feeling that unconfident!?
People are rude. People are mean. But most people aren't making a positive life change like we are. Just keep pushing forward and keep your head held high!
Don't you think it's interesting that you were attractive enough to approach, but now you are a fat *****?
Ha ha, so true! Plus, anyone can be a fat b****. People think thats the worst thing to call a woman so even non-fat people get called that.0 -
I kind of feel sorry for the kids
Maybe they're just total arseholes and were destined from birth to grow up into sociopathic little beasts. More likely is that they don't have parents who give a toss whether or not they can conduct themselves appropriately in public. There are some social skills that just can't be taught late in life - these children are going to end up adults who are at a huge disadvantage when it comes to education and ultimately career choices.
Still, I feel so sorry for you. It's happened to me before and you feel absolutely rotten afterward. Can you walk with an mp3 player so you don't have to be exposed to these insults? Nothing stops the arseholes short of a good slap around the head by someone a lot bigger and meaner, but when they don't get a rise from you they're going to get bored and do something else. Well, let's be honest, they're just going to go off and harass someone else. Vile creatures.0 -
Like many, I agree that it's the parenting that's the problem. It's obvious that his parents didn't teach him how to respect others no matter what! I've personally never been call fat to my face by strangers, but I've had relatives tell me that I'm getting fat or I've gained a lot of weight! That I can deal with, but there was this one occasion when I was at work, sitting at my desk and a gentleman came in and wanted to sell me a photo package! He saw me from the window and thought that I was pretty, photogenic, and that he would love to take professional photos of me! Yeah, right, he'd say anything in order for me to buy his package! Anyway, after I politey declined the purchase anything, he asked, "Is it because you're pregnant? I can show you some great shots of women who were pregnant that did a photo shoot." What the hell!!
I looked down and saw my big fat-*kitten* stomach poking out like I was a six month prego! To say I was upset was an understatement, but I graciously said to him that I'm not pregnant! He apologized and turned beet red and thank me for my time and left my the office! Afterwards, I felt awful, wanted to cry and spent most of the day trying to suck in my fat-*kitten* belly! Although I've lost some weight since that happened, I still look down from time to time to see if anyone else walked into the office, would they mistake me for being pregnant!0 -
Well, this happened many moons ago when I was in my early 20's. I had fallen down some stairs and shattered my kneecap. My mum took me to the hospital ER and after being examined and x-rayed, I was waiting for a doctor to come in to cast my leg. When he finally made it, he had several interns in tow and as I lay there helpless, he said the following words to his assembled crew:
"I am going to show you how to apply a cast to a cone shaped leg."
A CONE SHAPED LEG?????
My mum actually snorted and the doctor had the decency to turn a bit red in the face. I made up my mind then and there that no one would ever again say I had a cone shaped leg.
(When the cast came off, I took a good look at it....and sure enough, it was a cone! I took it home, painted it a bright orange, and made a traffic cone out of it. Someone eventually stole it.)
You have a great attitude ! I loved this story.0 -
Like many, I agree that it's the parenting that's the problem. It's obvious that his parents didn't teach him how to respect others no matter what! I've personally never been call fat to my face by strangers, but I've had relatives tell me that I'm getting fat or I've gained a lot of weight! That I can deal with, but there was this one occasion when I was at work, sitting at my desk and a gentleman came in and wanted to sell me a photo package! He saw me from the window and thought that I was pretty, photogenic, and that he would love to take professional photos of me! Yeah, right, he'd say anything in order for me to buy his package! Anyway, after I politey declined the purchase anything, he asked, "Is it because you're pregnant? I can show you some great shots of women who were pregnant that did a photo shoot." What the hell!!
I looked down and saw my big fat-*kitten* stomach poking out like I was a six month prego! To say I was upset was an understatement, but I graciously said to him that I'm not pregnant! He apologized and turned beet red and thank me for my time and left my the office! Afterwards, I felt awful, wanted to cry and spent most of the day trying to suck in my fat-*kitten* belly! Although I've lost some weight since that happened, I still look down from time to time to see if anyone else walked into the office, would they mistake me for being pregnant!
That guy should NOT be in sales.0 -
OOO, I LOVE this cell phone idea. I am going to remember that.since I have 4 kids and 10 grands, smart mouth kids don't bother me at all. However, what I would have done is whip out my cell phone & record him saying that - take his pic and then say 'I want to talk to your mother'
they hate that - and it's mad fun
and 9 times out of 10, if you do talk to the mom, that kid will get in trouble cause his mom's prob not thin herself and us moms have to stick together0 -
I would have turned around and said "Thank you captain obvious. I hadn't noticed."
On a side note, I am SO very proud of how I've raised my daughter. I tell her all the time that the reason evil is allowed to proliferate is because good people stand by and do nothing.
Good for you for calling them out! 0 -
People are horrible. One time I was walking to work, when a random guy yelled that he'd 'give me a go', if I lost a few kilos -.- .
Thank goodness for you that you had those extra kilos. Otherwise that same a** would have been trying to "give you a go". *Shudder*0 -
People stopped spanking their kids. Rude little ****s get away with murder.0
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Ignoring these kids is the best idea and remember they are kids, cursing back at them only affirms to them that cursing is okay. You're the adult, showing a better example is important, even if you're furious.
^^ This.
I'm truly sorry something like that happened to you and I understand you probably reacted out of anger... but you have to remember that they are children.
I think this is part of the problem. "They are just kids" or "They are children". No wonder they know they can get away with acting like jerks!!!
I believe that if they are old enough to talk like adults and act like they are adults, then they are ready to be treated like one!0
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