A boyfriend's role in dieting

I agree with you that he should have kept that to himself.

But do you agree with him? Would you feel better if you lost 25lbs?
Also, why do you think he can't accept you the way you are? Does he show that he cares about you less?

sounds like an *kitten* to me... 2 months? please. i'm 5'4" and 200 lbs and my boyfriend keeps complaining that my butt is getting smaller as I lose weight. find someone who loves you and thinks you're beautiful regardless. a guy should never make you feel bad about yourself.

I would love to be 25 pounds less, and that has been my goal. So I don't know whether to take it as a swift kick of motivation or an insult. I know he will be supportive along the way, granted he has nothing to lose himself.

I wouldn't take it as an insult if you agree with him.
That is just how I personally feel, but I am not too sensitive about those sort of things.

Just make sure that you are doing it for yourself. Make sure YOU are happy before anyone else!

Depends did he say it after you mentioned your goal? Was he trying to support your already stated goal? Sometimes people don't think before the speak.

Is he generally kind to you?

Context can make a huge difference in this kind of situation.

Personally I know better than to ever say something like that to a woman, but did he already know your goal was 25lbs? If so he could have meant it as encouragement I guess

It's rude for him to say that, if u asked him what he thought would be good then I see it was ok. My boyfriend say don't lose my boob which u do when losing weigh, butt has gotten small and he hates that. But he would never come out and say u could lose 25 pounds. I would be up set and offered.also 2 month and he voiced this I would voice it and kick him out the door..good luck on what u. Choice to do.

I would be offended, especially only 2 months in. When you are married for a lifetime, there are a lot of ups and downs that happen. Having kids, losing loved ones, money and job stresses, etc. At my highest I was 120 pounds more than when I met my husband and he never once mentioned anything about my weight. And he was still attracted to me. Now that I'm working on getting healthy again he is very supportive and encouraging. But if there would have been a time when he said something to me about the way I looked, I probably would have shut down. Now there are times I could see a spouse encouraging the other to get healthy, go on family walks, eat a little better, but mentioning "you would look better 20 pounds lighter" is about looks not health.

Why is it perfectly acceptable for a woman to say the very same thing to her boyfriend/husband or even friend, but heaven forbid a man say it to a woman. He must not be very wise, or he was just really tired and it slipped out. I think he was trying to encourage you.

Bottom line, if you don't want to hear the answer, then don't ask the question....(or make suggestions/comments meant to get some sort or response)

Do you disagree with his statement? Would you look worse with 25 pounds less?

Since this is not your first post, maybe he saw your interest in MFP or dieting/fitness and was trying to be supportive.

This forum is so weird at times... The next step will be you complaining about people telling you you look awesome when you do lose those 25 pounds. You'll assume it means you were not looking great before and still be pissed.

I would love to be 25 pounds less, and that has been my goal. So I don't know whether to take it as a swift kick of motivation or an insult. I know he will be supportive along the way, granted he has nothing to lose himself.

I wouldn't take it as an insult if you agree with him.
That is just how I personally feel, but I am not too sensitive about those sort of things.

Just make sure that you are doing it for yourself. Make sure YOU are happy before anyone else!

Yea, I have to agree with this. Some women are really quick to jump at tearing apart a man's statement. In reality, most men probably don't mean anything by it and don't realize they've said something offensive.

I think that's really rude of him. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I shouldn't be losing weight and that he loves my body. He tells me I would even look better if I gained some weight. Also, if I did ever get to a point where I started to look bad and was unhealthy he said that he would never say anything mean but he might ask me to come to the gym with him more often haha. Basically you should find a guy that loves you and supports you, but wouldn't be mean.

Unless that is that you've specifically told him you want to lose 25 lbs so he was trying to help? But with your unhealthy past he shouldn't have said that. I have the same past so my boyfriend is always trying to make sure I'm eating enough and not really losing anything. He just wants me to love myself, as most SOs should.

Hm...this is really kind of a tough one...I would be offended, too, honestly, but did he say it AFTER you said it, or after you started your weight loss effort? Or was it just out of the clear blue sky? Is he a fitness buff? His heart could have honestly been in the right place, meaning to encourage you, but he expressed it all the wrong way, or he could be a *kitten* bent on either changing your or making you feel bad about yourself. Talk it out with him. Give him a chance to explain. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, or he is a repeat offender even after you have told him how it makes you feel, then kick him to the curb. Otherwise, give him another chance.

Any man who tells you that you would look better any way other than the way you are is the wrong man. As far as your weight is concerned, i am also 5'3" and the goal weight that i have set for myself is right around what you weigh. By no means do you need to lose weight. There are plenty of fish in the sea, release that one before you waste anymore time.