Date Advice - all points of view welcome

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  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I agree that she's not into you. If she's never initiating the texts/calls, she's not interested. When I liked someone, I would absolutely text or email them, especially early on and it was clear he liked me. You can try asking her out again, but don't be surprised if she says no.
  • luvs2teachincali
    luvs2teachincali Posts: 207 Member
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    I'm a thinker too. The more I think about it...
    it's probably a good thing that you didn't go for the kiss, sorry, but I think the playing with the necklace thing was not a sign of interest, but rather a sign of "Hmm, I wonder if he's going to pick up the whole bill or just his portion?" Long gone are the days when the guy is expected to pick up the entire tab so a girl just never knows. Plus, if she was filling "friend vibes," then even more reason for her to feel like she should pay her portion. Friends would split the tab surely. Just my additional two cents.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    I just wanna know what's happened since?
  • NOTLUPUS
    NOTLUPUS Posts: 32
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    Haven't said of even communicated in the last two days with her. Whatever most people were right and I was wrong, again. Even with my give em hell, stubborn nature has its limits. 0-20/ 0-17 with this whole online dating thing in the in the last three months alone...I'm exhausted. I'm done. It's off to the island of misfit toys or to overthrow of the tokugawa shogunate to sad music, whatever I'm supposed to do now. heh bonus points if you got that last reference.

    If she calls or texts whatever, I'll shoot a text next week but pretty sure there isn't even a reason at this point. ah well.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
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    If I was playing with my necklace and glancing at the tv and not talking much that would mean, how long do I have to stay and how do I politely get out of this.

    If I was playing with my necklace, looking at you, smiling, laughing and makings lots of eye contact there would be no doubt at all what would happen next...! lol!

    She could be an mysterious enigmatic person or she could just be really really boring!

    Go with your gut, and get back out there on the market!
  • SLE0803
    SLE0803 Posts: 145 Member
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    I do the online dating thing so I "get it." I say wait a couple days after the first date and text again asking her on a second date. Maybe she was just nervous??? She may have hidden or deleted her profile for various reasons (weirdos, etc).

    I do say lay off a little on the communication. She may feel a stalker-ish/creepy vibe if you text/call/email too much so soon. I'm NOT saying to ignore her, but maybe text every couple days. And yes, you are the man you need to iniate the communication. If she says no to a second date or barely communicates back with you then she is not interested.
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
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    Every person is different. I would say Great job on not kissing! To me if you hugged her meant you were just being polite and not trying to push anything on her. However other than that its how the chemistry was that night. If you felt it was good go with you instinct and keep trying. If it does not work out then you know you tried your best. You can't get advice from other people on how she felt because like I said everyone is different. All those signs could have meant come get me and or could have meant leave me alone. I agree with try to get another day out together going. Give it a try and if she keeps dodging you for 2 or 3 weeks then ask her out front if she is into you or not because she is sending mixed signals. I am an upfront person and I don't like to be messed around with. Now go out there and try! Good Luck!
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    I'm an honest guy.............might not always be right.............but I'll give you my opinion. Truth: I read your whole story..........but I only read your first question............and I already forgot what it was.....oh about the profile.......she deleted...........



    I don't think you have a chance. I'm not saying you blew it.............just that it wasn't meant to be. I've never attempted online dating, but it seems you either have it or don't..........and that's what dates are for. I think she was fiddling with her necklace and putting on chapstick when the bill came to hopefully persuade you to take care of the bill. Who ever of your friends told you putting on chap stick is a sign to go in for the kiss..............has never put chapstick on before. Maybe I'm just tired.............but this seems way lost. My question to you...............why the fu*k do you even care? Excuse my language............but move on. This is way too much bullsh*t to start with. Doesn't seem to be chemistry........maybe your just a horn dog wanting to get laid? I don't know, and I sorta feel bad saying it, but this is my honest opinion. Find another girl to go out with, when you have some chemistry........YOU will know it. Maybe your not looking for chemistry...............I don't know...............but when she's telling you she's out til 6 am with friends...........lol.............that's when you gotta say..........fu*k her................in the nicest way. Nice guys finish last. Put a little metal in your spine, be orginal, tell her how you feel rather than trying to be mr. polite/correct/yes maam type of a guy. Be yourself, whatever that is. Sorry your friends told you that meant kiss her. You'll know when your suppose to kiss her, it SHOULD be unmissable with body language and eye contact , closeness, and a vibe/presence/feeling. If you didn't know you were suppose to kiss...............you weren't suppose to. Move on..............you seem like a nice guy.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
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    That last reply was lovely! Bless! Even the Terminator is giving dating advice on this site!
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
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    To me, it sounds like maybe she is seeing somebody else but keeping you on the back burner just in case it doesn't work out with the other guy. I've done it.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    Let me start this with the warning that I am not a typical girl, I don't play girl games, my life has never revolved around guys, I'm way to busy for that, so take it as it is. First, playing with a necklace, normally a sign of strong physical interest (subconsciously). Glancing at the TV, well, I'm easily distracted so it's hard for me to ignore bright colors and movement, ifyou have another date, take her somehwere there is no TV or hold her chair for her so she gets seated where she isn't facing the TV (you did hold her chair for her, right?). Wait time between contacts - in my world if I haven't heard from you in more than 3 days I have probably already written you off as not interested. Contacting me after that will probably send me running for the hills because I figure I'm option #2 since it took you so long to get back to me. And nobody wants to be the option someone else had to settle for. And for heaven's sake you are the guy, it's your job to lead, or chase, or whatever you want to call it. You can initiate contact at least once a day without seeming like a stalker. If you ask her out and she's not available ask her to suggest a convenient time (which realistically she should do anyway). If you aren't happy with her, then by all means walk away, but don't drift away without a fight, not if you really are interested. You are the lead, the hunter, you push the boundaries until she draws a line, and then you respect that line...that's like the natural order of the universe or something...
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    OMG. . you need to drink more or something. . .
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    no date advice but, I do have advice on a book you might want to pick up.......

    0707_L_overanalyseCD.jpg
  • NOTLUPUS
    NOTLUPUS Posts: 32
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    I asked her out today, basically what night she would be free. I wanted to take her out to try the sushi she mentioned. I heard back right away "Tuesday or Wednesday =) " suggested 7:30 Tuesday and got a "sounds good!"

    I guess she is still interested.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    Way to go bro! Hang tough!
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    I asked her out today, basically what night she would be free. I wanted to take her out to try the sushi she mentioned. I heard back right away "Tuesday or Wednesday =) " suggested 7:30 Tuesday and got a "sounds good!"

    I guess she is still interested.

    good for you !
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    I asked her out today, basically what night she would be free. I wanted to take her out to try the sushi she mentioned. I heard back right away "Tuesday or Wednesday =) " suggested 7:30 Tuesday and got a "sounds good!"

    I guess she is still interested.

    Good job!

    Just be careful not to end up friend-zoned. You're walkin' the line right now. Make sure you if you go in for the kiss or something romantic if she gives you the right signals again!
  • jfinnivan
    jfinnivan Posts: 360 Member
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    Don't tell her about MFP, because if she finds your post, you're sunk.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    It sounds like your first date was a bit of a dud....why do you want a second one? Usually people are on best behaviour on a first date ..but if she was watching the TV and not participating in the conversation too much...why would you want to be with her?

    I can use the platitude about being like a bus ...there is one along every 20 minutes, but sometimes it doesn't seem that way.

    You sound like a really nice guy. Look elsewhere for the someone special that is right for you. Join some groups that have the same interests as you ( see meetup.com) and go and have fun. There will be people in those groups that share your interests and who will meet you doing something you enjoy. No interview questions at a first date because you already have stuff in common
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
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    I asked her out today, basically what night she would be free. I wanted to take her out to try the sushi she mentioned. I heard back right away "Tuesday or Wednesday =) " suggested 7:30 Tuesday and got a "sounds good!"

    I guess she is still interested.

    Good luck :)

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