To people who have fallen off the wagon....HELP!!

CanToGirl · October 2012

To all the people who have fallen off the wagon and who have gotten back on. I need help!!
Here is my story (I'll make it short)
I started my journey Jan. 2011. With a goal of losing 180 lbs. Through out the year I did good, real good. Lost 150 lbs. Well fast forward to June 2012. I lost all will power and motivation. Gained over 50 lbs back. In the back of my mind I knew I had to get back on track. I hated what I was doing to my self. Eating the wrong foods, drinking way to much soda. You know all the things we shouldn't do. Well in a couple of months I need to get back to a healthier weight (due to having private health insurance and looking for a company with a lower monthly payment, so need to be under their magic weight number).
But my problem is, I don't really want to. I really kinda don't care anymore. Don't care if I ever see the gym again, don't care if I never see the weight where I once was. I just don't care. But having to pay over $600 a month for health insurance, when we could be paying less... I need to change.
So my question is. Has anyone gone on this journey and have been successful, when they didn't have their whole heart, body and mind in it??
Any advice would really be helpful.
Thank you!!:flowerforyou:

Goddessmaker1 · October 2012

You have to want it for you. Not because of private health care fees or a husband or whatever. When and if you ever decide to take your focus on being the best you can then and only then will it happen. I chilled out for a good 4 months. I have been depressed because of my money issues and work situation. However this month I came back and came back strong. I have 90lbs to lose and it won't lose it by it's self. I have goals and dreams that are attached to my losing weight so it's important to me. I want to date,marry,and be great so I have to lose the weight. It's really important to me because I know losing weight is just the start of something great.

PatriceMG · October 2012

Been there... it's hard to get your mind back on track, but you need to...for yourself, for your family. Start looking at all the success stories that people post. It will help your mind focus and hopefully get you back on that horse! This is for life... make it happen again. You can do it!

texasaswang · October 2012

As a 43 yr old who is about 70 lbs overweight and who used to drink way to many sodas, I now have diabetes. While I have many regrets, I was were you were. I would encourage you to remember, the best way to combat that is to eat better now rather than later

Good luck with what ever choice you make.

kokaneesailor · October 2012

Analysis paralysis' is, I think, the opposite of 'bright, shiny object syndrome'... a jargon-ish term that many of us have become familiar with over the past couple of years.

With 'bright, shiny object' syndrome, people jump from one good idea to another without really thinking through the implications. 'Bright, shiny object' syndrome tempts us to try the next big thing.

'Analysis paralysis' occurs when you can't STOP thinking about the implications of a wrong choice. If I do this, then this might happen, or that might happen, or what if this other thing happened. Maybe it would be better if I did this other thing over here.

Analysis paralysis results in a lack of execution. Nothing gets done. No movement forward occurs... only because you can't decide what move makes sense to make.

So, how do you break free from analysis paralysis? Try this...

1) Instead of being afraid of potential failure, embrace the experience.

If we followed the 'perfect path' every time, we'd never really be able to speak to what doesn't work... and sometimes, that information is just as valuable as what does.

>From every life experience, every business venture, every project dared, we learn something about ourselves. We learn what works, what doesn't. We begin collecting life wisdom that is unique to us.

2) Overcome inertia by picking something.

Do you remember high school physics class? An object at rest tends to stay at rest. An object in motion tends to stay in motion.

If you've been stuck in analysis-paralysis mode, chances are it's going to feel like it'll take a pretty good 'oomph' to get you moving.

At the risk of making it sound way too simple, there comes a point when you just have to do something. Choose what feels best to you at the moment, flip a coin, roll a dice... but start somewhere. You can even make it something very small, but the key is to start somewhere, doing something.
Once you're in motion, it gets easier to keep moving forward.

Author
Joy Duling

Crochetluvr · October 2012

So my question is. Has anyone gone on this journey and have been successful, when they didn't have their whole heart, body and mind in it??

I wish I could be more optimistic. When I fell off the wagon the last time I lost weight, it took me 8 years (when I came here in May) to finally be ready. One thing I learned from all those years of yo-yo'ing is that unless I was really ready, it wasn't going to happen. I would wake up saying THIS IS THE DAY....only to end up eating a bunch of crap and saying TOMORROW will be the day. But it wasn't. I had to hit bottom...and that took me 8 years.

Now that's not to say that YOUR bottom will take that long. But unless it happens, you will only be frustrated and cheat and not care. The good thing is that you can lose weight any time. But you have to put, as you say, your whole heart, body and mind in it".

kimberliiw · October 2012

If you don't have your heart in it look at it as a job. We don't always want to get up and go to work in the morning, but we do because we need to pay the utilities. We don't want to clean the house, but we do to be sanitary. The same thing with eating, you need to eat within your calories and macros not only to save the insurance money but also to be healthy. When the weight starts coming off I think your motivation will return.

boatsie77 · October 2012

It's clear that you're just not ready to commit to a healthy lifestyle--even on your profile you state, "I AM a yo-yo dieter." That's OK if that's what you choose to be...living in denial of the truth will cause undo stress. Accept the fact that you are living the life you chose to live, just pay the extra money for the health insurance and should you ever change your mind, MPF will be here to help you get back to a healthy lifestyle.

Motleybird · October 2012

I came back after getting on the scale and seeing it higher than it was when I started here before. It's all fine and good for people to talk about eating only healthy foods and working out at the gym. If it works for them, that's great, but you need to find what works for you. Studies have shown that willpower is a finite resource, but, like a muscle it can get stronger with practice, and it can be recharged with rest.

Start small and work your way into it as you go. Be patient. Don't spend all your willpower points at once and then burn out again! Make sure your daily goal is reasonable. As long as you're below maintenance, the scale will move in the right direction.

Logging your food every day only takes a few minutes. That's not hard. If you're embarrassed because you haven't gotten the hang of meal planning or staying under your goal, go ahead and keep it private. One thing at a time. Log it even if it's junk, even if the number goes red. If you logged your day honestly, then it was a good day.

Second, try to think of a way to burn calories that is fun. If you think you're not in shape enough to do that activity, do it anyway. You don't have to look like "Dancing with the Stars" to learn ballroom dancing. Some people tell me they can't take my tai chi class because they're not coordinated. That's what the class is for! Practice beats natural talent any day of the week. The other way to tackle exercise when you're not very into it, is to go in short bursts. You can say "It's only 20 minutes. I can do that much." (This is exactly how I handle exercise. Tai chi sword is fun. The exercise bike is not so fun, even with music, but it's harder to say 'no' when I know that it won't take long to do.)

This lifestyle change will take time to show the results you want. You may end up paying the higher price for awhile, but if you stay with it, you'll get to the magic number eventually. One thing that going away and coming back taught me was that this 'diet' does not end. Eventually I'll be in maintenance mode, but even then I will have to keep checking in so the bad habits don't start creeping back. Don't change so radically that you dread the idea of doing this long term. If your plan makes you want to run away or scream, then it's not the plan for you.

CanToGirl · October 2012

Thank you all for replying. I really appreciate your time to read my post and respond. I have come to the conclusion that I need to do this diet differently and take it slow. Thanks again.

chicpeach · October 2012

Know that a healthy, balanced diet that promotes weight loss is not something that simply gets you from where you are to where you want to be. It's also the base diet of what will keep you there. So learn to think of it as a lifestyle, not a diet and think of it more like riding a horse - you fall off a horse, you don't lie on the ground until Monday or next month or whatever. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get right back on the horse. Similarly, you blow your diet, you say "Okay get yourself together" and go right back to eating the way you know you should. This will substantially limit the damage of going "off your diet".

HypersonicFitNess · October 2012

I'm sorry to tell you.....if you don't want to....you won't. You have to REALLY want it first! Apparently the idea of paying a smaller premium isn't enough to make you want to do better. You may have taken the weight off in an unhealthy way to begin with which gave made you feel like you were deprived and miserable all the time.

Try cutting back things a little at a time (reduce and eliminate so and adding in new healthy foods (fresh whole vegetables (raw if possible or frozen no canned), fruits (same raw or frozen no canned), whole grains (the more fiber the better, but make sure it's a whole grain not processed), lean meats, low fat dairy, nuts & seeds) a little at a time. Try adding in a little workout at a time. You know there is no reason to workout a few hours per day. 30-45 minutes of a good workout is all that is necessary. Take baby steps toward a healthy life style...you may find it's not as bad as you experienced before. Don't cut your calories too low. Do you remember how low your calories were before? If you were eating around 1200, it was probably WAY too low for you and you probably felt starved all the time. You may want to re-assess your calories.

Add me if you like

JTick · October 2012

Breafast: Big Bowl of oats with milk but no sugar.

Snack: 1 fruit

Lunch: Protein(eggs,skinless chicken,tuna, or chickpeas) + salad

Snack: 1 fruit

Supper: Protein(eggs, skinless chicken, tuna or chickpeas) + dark green vegetables

Drink 2 litres of water a day
No refined sugar in any form
No refined carbs

Dude, seriously?

I have been on and off the wagon my whole life. Drop 30, gain 40. Drop 60, gain 80. I struggled with a lot of emotional issues as well (depression, etc) as well as binge eating disorder. In July, I was DONE. Mentally, I was finally ready. It was time to conquer my demons and beat this thing, and THAT is what has made me finally commit. There was nothing anyone could say to me. There was nothing a doctor could do to convince me. What I needed was to be ready to say I CAN DO THIS.

If you are not ready, you're not ready. There's not much we can do to convince you. All the encouragement in the world won't make it happen if you're not ready to commit to a healthier life.

What I would recommend is to make this as easy as possible. You don't need to cut calories drastically, you don't need to low carb, you don't need to even watch your macros right off the bat. Right now, find your BMR and TDEE. Eat a few hundred below your TDEE, making sure to stay above the BMR. This number will probably be a lot more calories than MFP gives you. Your TDEE is the number at which you maintain weight given your current activity. Anything less than that, you will lose weight. Don't go after this with the mindset that you need to drop 5 lbs a week...that is not sustainable and will only frustrate you. Instead, just eat less than your TDEE and let the numbers fall as they may. A loss is a loss, and doing it slow means the weight is much more likely to stay off.

Walternator · October 2012

So my question is. Has anyone gone on this journey and have been successful, when they didn't have their whole heart, body and mind in it??
Any advice would really be helpful.

You want an honest answer? Then don't read this:

Highly unlikely. If you truly do not want this, then you will probably never have it. If the effort of controlling your food intake, and exercising is so distasteful to you, that you would rather put all that weight back on, then that is what is going to happen.

I, like probably many of us on this sight, have gone through those ups and downs. I personally have lost 100 lbs, only to put half of it back on during those times when I lost my motivation to continue. One thing I can tell you for sure is that starting over sucks. Right now I am fighting tooth and nails to regain the progress I once had. So my advice to you is to make up your mind before you end up putting all of that weight back on, and then when your health goes down the tubes, decide you want to lose all that weight again.

debnorthcutt · October 2012

Thanks for sharing this. Analysis Paralysis is the phrase that has been going through my mind all morning.

Celeigh12 · October 2012

This is not my first time losing this much weight. Who does that to themselves? Me apparently.

What has happened is, the urgency has worn off. You fit into clothes in your closet. You don't get out of breath climbing the stairs. Strangers don't stare at you like they used to so you don't imagine that everyone is disgusted by your fat. You can play more easily with your child. You don't worry as much about what your husband thinks when he looks at you. The thought of results from your doctor doesn't fill you fear and dread like it used to.

But while those things don't feel urgent any more, they are closer than you think. 50 pounds closer now given what you've gained back. Remind yourself that this isn't the life you wanted for you, your daughter, and your husband. Imagine two scenarios - one, your future life at a "normal" weight. Vacations with the family, your daughter's wedding someday, playing with grandkids, being active and free from worry about your weight. The second scenario, imagine all of the above as a heavy you, likely heavier than when you started because we all know it's not about just going back to square one when we fall completely off the wagon. It's square one plus 20 or 30 pounds.

Create that sense of urgency for yourself again. Find that space where you are being healthy but it doesn't feel like it takes all your mental energy to stay there. In other words, figure out that way of eating and exercising that you feel you can do forever and start living that life. The weight will come off slower, but it won't feel like punishment or being sentenced to hard labor. And you won't be gaining. Even if you stayed where you are and never gained or lost another pound, that would be a victory. Learn to live in the middle of life rather than at the extremes. It's not a choice between 150+ pounds overweight and thin as a rail. It's somewhere more moderate that you can sustain without going crazy.

You've demonstrated you have it in you to do this... Be kind to yourself!

doubleduofa · October 2012

First off - Why don't you care anymore? Why have you given up on yourself?

Is it because you don't enjoy "diet" foods?
Is it because you hate feeling hungry?
Is it because you hate feeling limited in what you can eat? (Feel like an outsider when family/friends eat)
Is it because you hate being sore after working out?
Is it because you are embarassed at the gym? (You think people are staring)
Is it because you haven't found an exercise that seems enjoyable to you?
Is it because you are putting too much pressure on yourself to be "perfect"?

I think it's important to really pinpoint why you don't care anymore - then you can move on to how to get motivated. If it's because you don't enjoy dieting or feel hungry, well, there are "lifestyle changes" that you can make and foods you can choose that might help those issues. Maybe adding some supplements to your diet would help...there are some that can help curb cravings. At family functions, dinners, work outings, BBQs, eat your own food first and you'll be less tempted once you get there. Forgive yourself for indulgences...this is a lifestyle - NOT A DIET. You will always have challeges - this is life...it's full of them! It's ok if you have that piece of cake, just don't lhave 6 pieces because your day is already "ruined." No, this is a lifestyle change. You can have the cake (or popcorn, or chips, or whatever your vice) and then you MOVE ON. You work it in to your day and you eat great otherwise. It takes at least 6 weeks to develop a new habit - don't expect change overnight, but with persistency, it will happen!

As for the gym, if you are embarassed - just go! Most people will respect that you are there and working hard. Also, most people are too into themselves to worry about what you are doing. If you haven't found an exercise you like, try some different ones. I hated turbo kick the first time I went and didn't go back for a long time. I love it now. I'm still aboslutely terrible at it, but it gets me moving and the music is good. I forced myself to go to zumba a ton of times and I'm pretty sure that I don't like it now. You have to just get out there and try things more than once! There are some great free apps that you could use even at home if you didn't want to attend a class. JEFIT is a great weight lifting app that you can make your own workouts with and Nike has a great app with bootcamp/cardio and weight routines.

I hope you find what works for you!

GladImTall · October 2012

150 Lbs lost in a year is a LOT in a pretty short time... Think of that great accomplishment... You 'hit it out of the park' so fast, so early on, that anything short of that is going to seem like a failure.

Be proud of what you've done... take time to regroup and think of why you are on this journey and the real results you want to achieve and more importantly maintain.

The 'I don't care' feeling is one I'm familiar with and it takes a lot of mental toughness to push past that... but you can do it! Look how far you've come already! Make your expectations manageable.

Keep working at it!

Sorry-I recognize this wasn't so much of advice as it was trying to be a pep talk

shenk111 · October 2012

ive lost 100 lbs in one year surgery free. since ive shot up about 25 lbs. im in the same boat.i really do miss that lifestyle and feeling good but feel embarrassed now to go back to gym heavier etc lol. im so ready but just gotta leap!

To people who have fallen off the wagon....HELP!!

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