Just ballparking, I ate 4k calories today

I think you need to focus on yourself instead. Do you want it bad enough? If you've already both come to a realization, just lead by example. Do a good job and if he asks then lend your advice and support.

I think you need to focus on yourself instead. Do you want it bad enough? If you've already both come to a realization, just lead by example. Do a good job and if he asks then lend your advice and support.

grab him by his man bits and say "here's the deal, no more bs we are doing this".
Do your best to bring him with you, one of the last things you want to do is sacrifice your relationship. Explain to him that you need his support and the best support he can give is doing it right alongside you.

My husband and I are doing this together. It is working really well, we have each lost around 20lb in the two months since we started although the rate of weight loss is slowing down now. He started first, and when I saw how easy it was to record what he was eating, I started too. As it is both of us, it is easier to plan meals that are at the right calorie level and not to have too many naughty days! That said, we do agree to having some days where we don't count - usually when food is less in our control (eg when eating at family or friends). We have even had a couple of takeaways.
Additionally we are motivating each other to exercise - mostly walking or cycling with the kids. Some days when we visit family a few miles away one of us drives the kids while the other walks and then we swap for the return journey! It is also nice when you can share the different milestones on the way along...and remind each other how much better we look already.:happy:

I think you need to focus on yourself instead. Do you want it bad enough? If you've already both come to a realization, just lead by example. Do a good job and if he asks then lend your advice and support.

Right. Just do it, in the words of Nike. There's no other way.

I'm lucky to have a significant other that is supportive (and 140 pounds soaking wet) in my weight loss. It is harder when we're together because one of the things people do to share time together is eat so I can stay focused easier when I'm by myself.

The MOST important thing I've learned is that it takes a LOT of time. I told myself I would try this thing for a year. A whole year. The time is going to pass whether I stuff my face and get fatter or focus on me and get fitter, so why not just TRY. Eating junk constantly isn't making me thinner, so why not try something new.

The second most important thing I've learned is that a bad day, a few bad days or even a week of crummy eating is not going to deter all your hard work in the long run. If you work hard for two months and then life happens and you eat junk for 10 days straight, you are not going to gain every thing back. You will gain something, mostly water and bloat weight, but as long as the good days grossly out number the bad (say, 48 weeks out of 52 in a year) you WILL see results.

When I first started, my best decisions were eating a regular hamburger and small fries over a big mac meal at mcdonalds. Then, I bought a lot more quick foods to have at home. Pre-portioned things like a single serving mac and cheese or single serving beeferoni. It got me into the groove of counting calories and learning my boundaries.

Then, I wanted to eat more food because I was still hungry, so I just added in vegetables and fruits. Heaped my plate with double the vegetables and just one serving of meat and potatoes. I could eat a lot more bulk and feel less hungry. If you can't fathom cutting out the oreos and donuts, start out by buying 100 calorie packs. Even if you eat three of them, you can SEE WHERE your calories are going. Eventually, it'll click that you want to eat more actual food and it's just not worth the value of calories in junk.

I have just started changing my eating habits recently. I won 2 free weeks to one of the food delivery diet things. I realized after the 2 weeks that I can do this on my own. I plan my meals at about 400 or so calories each. Since I refuse to measure any thing it's mostly freezer food. I get to pick what I want to eat. The portions are just right and already measured out. I also make sure I eat 3 times a day at regular intervals, no matter what. So far I've averaged about 2lbs. a week for 7 weeks. I feel so much better and have so much more energy it's crazy. I still allow my self to eat out where ever I want on Friday & Saturday and I don't even check the calorie content until after I've eaten. If I'm going to eat out I'm going to enjoy it. So far I've done really good and don't feel deprived of anything. Good luck to you.

You don't need to do this with him. You CAN do it by yourself.

I am pretty new at this dieting thing, but I have to count my calories and log them each day. Looking at them puts in perspective how much I have bee eating.
Just a suggestion with your husband, you might want to angle it that YOU need to get serious about your weight and you want him to do the same because it would help YOU. Hope that helps.

I started in March but my husband didnt really start until September. Once he was on board it was kinda easier even though he would already eat what I was eating/cooking.

Also, no matter what I said, what helpful hint I dropped or what healthy meal I cooked, it had to be his decision. We went on a hike in August and when something he used to do 10 years ago kicked his everlivin *kitten*, he realized what was going on and what changes needed to be made. After that, it was all him.

4k calories? Hoe do you even eat that many. I mean through what foods.

In my case I started working out first. Then my hubby joined in. He doesn't have much to lose but he is loooking trimmer. You do it for yourself. He will follow if he. wants to.

4k is not that difficult. my stomach is small but i managed to do it pretty easily. just a lot of food. and alcohol. 1 shot of my moonshine is 200 cals. so that helps.