Zombie Apocolypse & Walmart

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135

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  • Trudyr777
    Trudyr777 Posts: 573 Member
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    In light of just getting B***h slapped by hurricane Sandy...I LOVE THIS!!!
  • DawnVanSlim
    DawnVanSlim Posts: 10,471
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    It’s not just Wal-Mart, although that is the obvious one. It’s like 2/3's of the population. Have you been to your local buffet style restaurants, observed the people at the nearest rummage sale, or visited any local pool in the state of Wisconsin?

    I am starting to think, if you can run a quarter of a mile, you are already ahead of the game. Bring on the zombies! They got nothing on MFP’ers
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    I sir absolutely love this you have totally made my day!! Thank you so much for the laugh!!!
  • Stacyplus5
    Stacyplus5 Posts: 493
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    Our Walmart has Subway also. But most of the chum in our Walmart is wearing their pajamas or pants arount their knees. So I'm thinking I can still outrun them because they will tripping over their houseshoes or pants around their ankles/cankles
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    Our Walmart has Subway also. But most of the chum in our Walmart is wearing their pajamas or pants arount their knees. So I'm thinking I can still outrun them because they will tripping over their houseshoes or pants around their ankles/cankles
    Do you know that at-a-glance, your screen name looks like "STDplus5?"
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
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    that's why you always gotta be friends with people who are in worst shape then you......bait
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    No... this... is zombie bait....

    original.jpg
  • yos314
    yos314 Posts: 3
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    I have friends I can run faster than, but I'm more likely running to their house in the event of a Zombiepocolypse... They have all the ammo.
  • joecollins9385
    joecollins9385 Posts: 355 Member
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    By any chance are you in Eugene? Or does more than one Walmart have the MacDonalds at the entrance set up? Geez.

    there are at least 3 walmarts with a mcdonalds at the entrance within 20 miles of my house
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    No... this... is zombie bait....

    original.jpg

    Oh my God that is one scary Momma who is she????
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    No... this... is zombie bait....

    original.jpg

    Oh my God that is one scary Momma who is she????
    The mom from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
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    This thread totally turned my day around. Many thanks good sir.
  • x_cinder_x
    x_cinder_x Posts: 118 Member
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    A friend and I were just chatting the other day about a gun I am learning to shoot. He stopped, looked at me and said "Ya know you can now run," (<--loss allot a weight while 5k training) "You can now shoot, and you want to learn how to fence. You realize you are setting yourself up to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, right?" I looked at him horrified since we have had many conversations about how awful I think it would be to survive!! Yea, yea chick who likes her electricity and creature comforts here :P

    I mean sure the 1st couple zombie kills would be fun, but once all that inner rage is creatively worked out of the system what then?,
    Walking Dead anyone? UGH!
    Hmm no mortgage would be nice....
  • slrea2012
    slrea2012 Posts: 31 Member
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    This is EXACTLY why I do not patronize Walmart.
    If I were a Zombie, Walmart would be the first place I'd go.
  • sunnyinaz78
    sunnyinaz78 Posts: 39
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    HA! Great Post! Very insightful LOL
  • KinzieElise
    KinzieElise Posts: 584 Member
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    Do you think a fat zombie would be slower than a skinny zombie? Because if so Walmart isn't the place to be worried about, it's the health food stores! Actually, following that thought-process, you'd want to hang out at Walmart in the zombie apocolypse because you'd have a better chance at fighting off the fat zombies. lol
  • MoniMoni2u
    MoniMoni2u Posts: 211 Member
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    I've laughed so hard reading this thread I think I could count it as abs exercise! (NOT!) LOL! My abs are hurting though and my face is tear stained. It couldn't be any more true. As for Honey Boo Boo's mom. Why would you subject us to that? She is just so wrong on every single level! LOL
  • venturaroo
    venturaroo Posts: 84 Member
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    This made my day :laugh:
    Good stuff!
  • BubbleGumLace
    BubbleGumLace Posts: 12 Member
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    I was frequenting my friendly neighborhood Walmart yesterday, pursuant our urgent need for milk and diapers... (because apparently, I was appointed “Walmart-Diaper-B!tchboy” while I was sleeping, and didn't know it until it was too late).

    As I'm navigating the sea of pit-stained nightgowns, cankles and Tapout t-shirts, I was hit with an epiphany... If there's ever an actual zombie apocalypse, these people are straight-up f**ked. They're basically moderately-mobile Zombie Happy Meals, with really, really bad teeth and poor credit.

    There's an old adage, “I don't have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than you.” Using this logic, you could hold-off the zombies for weeks by simply pulling the battery cables on a half-dozen Walmart Hoveround shopping-carts.

    These are the same individuals that will hold-up parking lot traffic for 10 minutes, so they can have a space 11 steps closer to the front door.

    In short, they're Zombie Chum.

    All joking aside, there is a serious motivational theme to this post... What happens to these people when there REALLY IS a global catastrophe. Take the “zombie apocalypse” part out of the equation, and boil it down to a massive natural disaster or viral outbreak.

    If opening your 3rd box of Little Debbie Snack Cakes causes you to perspire and evokes a need for a nap... you're worm food when society breaks-down.

    Therein, your motivation...
    Don't be zombie bait for people who are in better shape, than you. Get your *kitten* to the gym.

    Happy Halloween.
    Keep being awesome.

    Wow, that was very motivational. I'm hitting the gym after work.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    I would be so lost without my Haters. They give me purpose.

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