Sick and tired of Complements

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natspoiledbrat
natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
in Motivation and Support
Is there anyone else out there who is just sick and tired of people "complementing" you on your weight loss? I am getting really frustrated and know that people are just trying to be nice, but a lot of them are going overboard. Ok, so I get that people who haven't seen me in 6 months notice a huge difference and feel the need to comment about the weight loss, but the same people who I see every single day at work feel the need to say it too............It drives me crazy. I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but it kinda makes me wonder how much I may have been looked down upon before. Its as if some people only talk to me now because of the weight loss and they have absolutely nothing to say, so all they can do is comment about it. Also people say things that I think just come out wrong, but thing like this are really making me self-conscious.............for example............."you are so much prettier now that you have lost weight", or "I'm seeing less and less of you every time I see you........literally", "oh I bet you are getting dates now", and the kicker..................."the last time I saw you, you were eating those buffalo wings like we were gonna run out"............Seriously people, when I see someone who has lost weight I tell them once........"you look good", drop it and never mention their "weight" again................can the rest of the world get with the program!!!!!!!!
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Replies

  • jw17695
    jw17695 Posts: 438 Member
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    Some of those comments are really messed up. I would have smacked some of those people.
  • ashmariehay
    ashmariehay Posts: 35 Member
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    Whoah!
    Those are not complements at all!
    More like passive aggressive stabs = No Bueno
    And I am with Jw I'd have done some damage.
    Complements are supposed to make you feel great about your accomplishments,
    Not make you feel bad. (Duh!)
    You wouldn't be getting tired of them if they were real.
    Keep up the great work!!!
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
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    People are idiots and lack tact. I think mostly people are just trying to be supportive but have no idea how to do it.
  • marii92
    marii92 Posts: 77
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    I have to agree with the posters above me :) Don't listen to them, they're probably just jealous :tongue:
    I think you look great! Well done, keep it up :)
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    Smile and walk away. It makes you the better person.
  • ltlhmom
    ltlhmom Posts: 1,202 Member
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    Hearing complements is suppose to make you feel good not make you feel bad about yourself. Those people just need to shut your mouth and learn how to speak to people. Do they realize how stupid they sound?

    Great job on all your weight loss!
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
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    :flowerforyou: Nothing irritates me more than those that never gave me the time of day before that are all of a sudden speaking to me... the one that said about you getting prettier - I would have been a smart-a** and said something like too bad that couldn't happen for YOU... and the one that mentioned about the dates... I would say something like - you jealous? That comment on the buffalo wings I would have told them - now YOU have more to eat. :devil: I'm sorry, I don't deal with the shallow people very well. I have gotten to know many over the years and they sicken me. So hold your head up high and know it is jealousy and they are trying to 'find out' something (who knows what). Just know that you are beautiful (always have been) and healthy. :flowerforyou:
  • SASSYJAX
    SASSYJAX Posts: 103 Member
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    I agree, they are jealous and it makes people spiteful and mean!

    I used to get, bet you are having more sex! - eh! as in bet your hubby cant keep his hands off you, actually he hated feeling all my bones sticking through my skin but I couldnt tell them that - maybe I should have!

    Just smile sweetly and shrug...!

    Yes, it is annoying, like all of a sudden you are part of the human race, how pathetic, dont know what they were missing by ingnoring you before ...well now they have shown how shallow they are I am sure you dont want to mix with them anyways...!
    x
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    I'd bet a lot of those people mean well, they just want you to know they noticed but don't really THINK about what they are saying first to realize how idiotic and rude they sound!!

    Just thank them, move on and don't think about it too hard....

    :smile:

    (my favorite was always "Wow - you've lost so much weight! You're not sick, are you??")
  • shaggys
    shaggys Posts: 140 Member
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    :flowerforyou: Nothing irritates me more than those that never gave me the time of day before that are all of a sudden speaking to me... the one that said about you getting prettier - I would have been a smart-a** and said something like too bad that couldn't happen for YOU... and the one that mentioned about the dates... I would say something like - you jealous? That comment on the buffalo wings I would have told them - now YOU have more to eat. :devil: I'm sorry, I don't deal with the shallow people very well. I have gotten to know many over the years and they sicken me. So hold your head up high and know it is jealousy and they are trying to 'find out' something (who knows what). Just know that you are beautiful (always have been) and healthy. :flowerforyou:
    That's hilarious!

    It comes with the territory..I'm with Knight:laugh:
    You look great!
  • greeneyes82
    greeneyes82 Posts: 318 Member
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    Yeah, some people can't stand to see others succeed. :noway: I don't get it either, but I would have to think it's jealousy. People compliment me for losing weight, but lately it's turning into "you're going to blow away if you don't stop losing." Also, they ask if I'm eating right or starving myself! :grumble: That makes me mad, but I just ignore it. Just keep succeeding & let them keep being negative people who need to get a life!
  • Crunchytxmama
    Crunchytxmama Posts: 169 Member
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    Mostly I like the compliments, but I know what you mean, that some people just go on and on, and go waaay overboard with it! My MIL harasses me about my weight loss! Every. single. time I see her we have to spend the first ten minutes talking about my weight, with her wanting to know how much more I've lost (which is always too much), what size I am now, when I'm going to stop, and then her going on and on about how this is the week that she's going to go back on Atkins, and how she's so sick of being fat. It gets very, very old having this conversation with her on a weekly basis.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I hate when people say "You've lost a ton of weight!" I know they mean well, but I just want to say "Hey thanks for thinking I weighed a ton before!"
  • Tamishumate
    Tamishumate Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I hate when people say "You've lost a ton of weight!" I know they mean well, but I just want to say "Hey thanks for thinking I weighed a ton before!"


    LOL, I know.. Sometimes I want to say " not quite a ton" but thanks..
  • jas1957
    jas1957 Posts: 24 Member
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    Some of those "compliments" would have hurt my feelings. I agree with some of the other comments, they are just jealous because you have worked hard and achieved something that they will never be able to do. They are just "weak-minded" people!! Take care & God Bless!!
  • BamaRose0107
    BamaRose0107 Posts: 635
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    Just say thank you and walk away! The "comments" you listed were more like jealousy driven jabs to get a reaction from you. Don't give them the pleasure of knowing they could get a reaction from you.

    You look fabulous and more importantly you are getting healthy and thats all that matters!!!!!!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
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    Oh I know!!! People forget that we are still the same people we were when we weighed more- if they thought about that fact, they wouldn't say some of the dumb things they do. I've started getting the "how are you doing it?" And I tell them, watch what I eat, keep a food diary and I have taken up running. Then I've had them say, "No, really, how are you doing it?" I even have a professor who points me out to the whole class (I'm in graduate school, so it's a small class but still) saying that I've lost weight in a lecture about eating disorders, or brings up my weight loss in lectures about physical health or self esteem. Once they even mentioned what I had brought for lunch while teaching.

    I love complements, but sometimes the focus on me gets to be a bit nerve wracking.
  • Happyoceangirl
    Happyoceangirl Posts: 1,993 Member
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    I think I may be guilty of over-complimenting an acquaintance.... she looks FANTASTIC.... and I don't see her that often - so I'm still surprised when I see her. The last time I saw her i may have over-gushed. Woops. It's just so exciting to see her success. I'll try to remember to be better.
  • NaturalMom
    NaturalMom Posts: 85
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    I completely understand! Women I worked with used to give me nasty back-handed complements like that. They are all overweight and used my weight-loss as an excuse not to include me in things like office lunches and celebrations. (e.g. "Oh, honey ... you are just too thin. We fat girls are going to go have some fried chicken. You just eat your little packed lunch.") And then when I gained weight for my pregnancy they all kept saying how fat I got and how it was bad for the baby to eat things like bread (with my salad). How's that for 180'!
    It used to upset me. Now (~40lbs less than before my pregnancy) I realize that they were just jealous. They use their bitterness to make other people feel bad hoping it will make them feel better about themselves. The real kicker is that shortly after I had my beautiful daughter I quit and am now a full-time stay-at-home mom - skinny, energetic, happy and gorgeous (imho) - LOL! They will never see me again (I moved 500 miles away) but I know that I am the one who made out in the end....
  • dmags
    dmags Posts: 303
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    I take every compliment that I can get. I have lost 20 pounds and it just this weekend that anyone close to me noticed or said anything! Now if had gained 5 pounds.... my mother would have been offering to pay for me to go to the gym! I have struggled with my weight my whole life and heard all of the backwards compliments... you have such a pretty face etc... So when someone notices how hard I am working, and I am working so hard, I appreciate it. Don't get me wrong some of the things that were said were way out of line... but my experience is that I am doing this for me, but I will take the compliment!

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