Pregnant at 44?

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  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I think it's a mad idea...dangerous for the mother and if you do have a child at this age you will have no retirement to look foward to at all...but then I am selfish and could not bear the thought of having to look after a teenager whilst in my late 50s/early 60s
    Speak for yourself.
  • prairiedawg2014
    prairiedawg2014 Posts: 367
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    my mother in law had her 9th child at 46. it was an accident, but the child was perfectly normal.
  • LisaLouisiana
    LisaLouisiana Posts: 145 Member
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    The risk are high, but sometimes it works out. I'm living proof of that. My mother was 43.5 and my dad 4 days shy of his 45th birthday when I was born. It never bothered me one bit that my parents were older and that my friend's parents were the ages of some of my brothers and sisters. I also treasure being from a large, loving family.

    I would consult with a geneticist, though. When I was born....almost 49 years ago....1 out of 33 babies born to mothers that were my mother's age had what we now call Downs Syndrome. I know it's not the only genetic defect possible. You should weigh your risks.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    My cousin's one and only baby was concieved at 44. They were very happy.
    My sister in law tried hard in her early 40's but finally adopted. Its trial and error. Get busy and try, thats all you can do. Good luck.
  • ShaunMc1968
    ShaunMc1968 Posts: 204
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    My Mum had me, her 8th child, at 45. She is now 89 and doing great. Good luck, be sensible and all should be well.
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    I have friends who don't think twice about having a baby past 40! I think if it's in your heart you should go for it. There is never a guarantee that a baby won't have "defects"...no matter how old the mother (18 or 50) and you don't have a baby b/c you want a perfect child (no such thing just like we aren't perfect...we're human!) and ask someone who is raising a baby with a "defect" if they don't love that child just as much or more!? It's just a different kind of blessing. Best wishes and baby dust! ;)
  • schustc
    schustc Posts: 428 Member
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    Thanks everyone! I LOVE being a mom. I personally would give up retirement (or whatever glory that might entail) to have the blessing of another child.

    is it challenging? YES. Exhausting? YES Fulfilling? YEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart could handle another one - and I'm dealing with a challenging 4 year old at the moment, who threw a temper tantrum in the grocery store yesterday because I would not let her lift the 12 pack of pop from the cart onto the checkout belt. Embarrassed? yes.. Why did she throw a fit? Because she wanted to prove to me that she was STRONG (as she told me tearfully later when we discussed her attitude)

    She's a little person with feelings, dreams, innocence and love. I wouldn't trade this experience for a 1000 retirements, and would do it again in a heartbeat. <3 love motherhood completely - and would like to give her a sibling to grow up with...
  • jenncaroon
    jenncaroon Posts: 91
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    Hi!

    I gave birth to my 4th child 4 years ago at the age of 43. This was an unplanned pregnancy but it went very well throughout. I was a week overdue and gave birth to a healthy 9lb baby boy. I was considered high risk only because of my age, I think this is the norm. My pregnancy went very smoothly. He has inspired me to take care of myself so that I can be an active and engaged parent! He has been a blessing to our family which includes 3 other children ages 19 to 14. A friend once told me the only children you regret are the ones you don't have.

    Best wishes and blessings in this aspect of your life!
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    My maternal grandmother was born when her mother was 45. My paternal grandma had my aunt and uncle at 40 and 42, respectively. Completely by accident, apparently. It happens much more frequently than people realize.

    My own mom had me after 35 and I'd say I benefited from having "experienced" parents. They made a lot of mistakes with my brothers since they were very young when they had them. I got the benefit of wisdom that comes with age. And mom claims that I keep her young!

    Best of luck to you, either way. :smile:
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
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    Best of luck with everything...you really should go for it....sounds like you really love motherhood.... :-)
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
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    Hi, My Mom had 10 children, the last at age 43. No problems. And I have a gorgeous baby sister (19 years younger than me) who was doted on by all her older siblings. Like my Mom said, I wouldn't wish any of them away. Taking care of her house and children kept my Mom strong and young. It sounds like you are emotionally and physically equipped to do it. All the best. Ani
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
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    I think it's a mad idea...dangerous for the mother and if you do have a child at this age you will have no retirement to look foward to at all...but then I am selfish and could not bear the thought of having to look after a teenager whilst in my late 50s/early 60s
    Speak for yourself.

    I was
  • tishad58
    tishad58 Posts: 110 Member
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    Sounds exciting! One suggestion- talk to your OB/GYN BEFORE you even try so they can do a hormone screen (and possibly other tests). Our hormone levels often drop as we get older, and low progesterone can cause miscarriage. If you know before you get pregnant, you can be given hormones to adjust for this.
    Good luck to you! :happy:
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    on both sides of my families, the women had babies way into their late 40's. I have hundreds (literally!) of cousins and there was only ONE birth defect. I saw a genetic specialist when i got pregnant at 36, and after going through the data determined that up to age 48 i only had a 5% chance of having a baby with a birth defect (my husband at the time had a similar family history)

    if you are concerned, see a genetic specialist.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    My mum had me when she was 42. I had my 3rd baby when I was 41.

    It is definately possible.
  • Steel6981
    Steel6981 Posts: 154 Member
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    Had my daughter at 40. Pregnancy was fine but they do monitor you A LOT. I was lucky that having the extra metabolism of my daughter also resulted in me losing 30 pounds! I told my doctor if I had known I would have had six kids and been at goal weight. Good Luck and be healthy, it is possible and rewarding to be an older parent!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    For me personally, with two very healthy young children.. it's not a risk I would take. And myself I would feel a bit selfish doing so. However, this is my personal opinion for myself.

    Talk to your doctor, educate yourself on the risks and how to diminish those risks as much as you can.
    If you come to the conclusion that it's worth the risk then do it.

    I wish you nothing but luck, and hope it works out for you in a most positive manner.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    My parents were 45 and 47,...mom was 45 when she had me,....we were both fine,healthy,..etc..but, I did feel as a kid almost kinda cheated a little,..Mom did'nt have the young mom energy,..there was'nt alot of times at the park,beach,camping,..etc...She always wanted a nap!,..ugh,...but the upside was she was alot more patient than young mothers,...and more creative than most... : )
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    Even though you're past your optimal fertility age, it certainly is possible to conceive at 44. However, please, please realise that your chances of having a baby with Down syndrome and other developmental disorders are very high at your age. Please only try for a baby if you know that you would be well equipped to handle that kind of thing.

    I have read these statistics as well.
  • bandedsandi
    bandedsandi Posts: 122 Member
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    My mom had me when she was 45. Everything went well during the pregnancy and the birth, so yes, it is possible.

    But... the huge generation gap between us when I was growing up was not good for either of us. I was teased mercilessly at school for having an old mother who looked more like a grandmother. She was too old to understand me during my teenage years and it was an unbearable time for both of us. She couldn't be a 'fun' grandmother for my first child as she was too frail by then and she never got to know my second child as she had Alzheimer's by then...

    So... think about it carefully, from the child's perspective

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