I Don't want to offend you...

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  • bluemilan
    bluemilan Posts: 17
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    Yeah happened yesterday when one of the consultants said to me- "you being very good, keep up the good work"

    I actually thought he hadn't noticed as he said said nothing, so sometimes, silence is better.

    LA
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
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    There was actually a post awhile back where someone was offended when people notice. I don't understand it but I guess it happens.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/762685-getting-upset-when-people-notice

    I have a history of abuse - part of my MO was to become invisible, to be incredibly average. And the weight was definitely a way of insulating myself from people. So when people notice me, it sometimes is very uncomfortable. I've come a long way (like even venturing to post this!) :noway: , and I take people's comments as compliments now but it's been, and will be, a long journey with a lot of hard work.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,082 Member
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    I stand by my belief that there is never a good way to discuss another person's weight. It seems to be an off-limits topic....except here.

    Op, you look like you've lost some weight?!! Great job!!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    I think, men especially are afraid to say anything. It can be taken so many different ways by a woman. Like others said, they could be afraid of the, "so you did think I was fat before!". Also in a work setting, it could be taken as unwanted attention. One of the guys I work with didn't say anything, until after I told him I was trying to lose weight. He said he had noticed but was scared to comment. lol
  • joybedford
    joybedford Posts: 1,680 Member
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    I love it when people notice and comment it makes my day. I was recently looking after a woman giving birth to her 3rd child (I am a midwife) she spoke very little english but gave me a number of compliments. The first was she asked if I had children I said yes and told her there names and ages she was shocked that my oldest was almost 17 and asked my age when I told her I was 41 she accused me of lying. When her sister arrived she asked her to tellme I had an amazing body and what was my secret. I had a great day at work that day and left feeling ultra confident. This makes the hard work worth it.
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
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    I had worn my Catwoman costume to my job on Halloween, and the first thing I heard from one of my co-workers: "My, she is slimming down." I took that as a major compliment. It's a testament of what I've been able to do for the past nine months, losing the 43 pounds. Everyone at my job has noticed, and they're very supportive of me and my efforts to stay healthy.
  • dwoodmanjr
    dwoodmanjr Posts: 89 Member
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    I am now cycling through client visits who haven't seen me in about 12 months, so the expressions I have received have ranged from stunned silence (not sure whether to mention it or not), to effusive "OMG !!!". I also had a tendancy to make myself invisible, and get a little embarassed with the compliments - I don't take them well - and I need to learn how to.

    I also have my annual physical Monday and really can't wait for my Dr's reaction
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I wouldn't be offended (AT ALL). But, some people are so self-concious about their weight... and they know others are as well. Some wouldn't want to make you more self-concious. I think it's wonderful that people are noticing your success though. And, that they are very considerate about how they word it.
  • tonightokayalright
    tonightokayalright Posts: 289 Member
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    Weight is always a touchy subject, and most women know to approach it by beating around the bush a little until you know for sure that a) they're losing weight, and b) they're doing it intentionally.

    Personally, I hate talking about my weight. I'm proud of myself, but it just opens up the conversation for everyone to give me their opinions, and I don't like that.
  • andriadean7171
    andriadean7171 Posts: 42
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    They don't want you to feel like they're trying to say you were fat in the first place... You know people get offended so easily now
  • tam823
    tam823 Posts: 85 Member
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    One of my really good friends that is like a dad to me said "Wow, you have lost a lot of weight, you are looking great!" I took it as a tremendous compliment, but others around us were giving him such grieve. They couldnt believe that he would say that to me. I loved the statement and it helped encourage me to keep going!
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    There was actually a post awhile back where someone was offended when people notice. I don't understand it but I guess it happens.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/762685-getting-upset-when-people-notice

    I have a history of abuse - part of my MO was to become invisible, to be incredibly average. And the weight was definitely a way of insulating myself from people. So when people notice me, it sometimes is very uncomfortable. I've come a long way (like even venturing to post this!) :noway: , and I take people's comments as compliments now but it's been, and will be, a long journey with a lot of hard work.
    This is perfectly said! Me too.
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
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    The other day a man said,"I don't mean to offend you but you legs look good, very toned." I told him,"thank you, I work very hard". I think that he didn't want me to be offended by the fact that he was looking at my legs.

    Haha- I bet that made you grin!
    [/quote

    I did :)
  • stbrad6896
    stbrad6896 Posts: 135
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    They don't want to make it sound like they thought you were fat before.
  • x_cinder_x
    x_cinder_x Posts: 118 Member
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    There was actually a post awhile back where someone was offended when people notice. I don't understand it but I guess it happens.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/762685-getting-upset-when-people-notice

    I have a history of abuse - part of my MO was to become invisible, to be incredibly average. And the weight was definitely a way of insulating myself from people. So when people notice me, it sometimes is very uncomfortable. I've come a long way (like even venturing to post this!) :noway: , and I take people's comments as compliments now but it's been, and will be, a long journey with a lot of hard work.

    Your insight is touching AND I am very glad you stepped forward to post it. It looks like you have come so far working through your past. I hope every step makes you stronger. I have always found that those who prefer to be invisible are always the ones who have the most important and best observations to share.

    Thanks for posting the link. Reading through all the responses here and there has been very interesting.

    Thanks to EVERYONE for the feed back!

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